Do you dress fun in your late 40s and older? What does that look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to my kids school for volunteering and the principal said "I found this red beret in the lost and found and I just knew it belonged to you Mrs. Smith! Who else would wear something like that?" And yes it was mine! I figured no one paid any attention to my clothes.

Awww! How fun. I own a red beret too!

Embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to my kids school for volunteering and the principal said "I found this red beret in the lost and found and I just knew it belonged to you Mrs. Smith! Who else would wear something like that?" And yes it was mine! I figured no one paid any attention to my clothes.

Awww! How fun. I own a red beret too!

Embarrassing.

Embarrassing? You are embarrassing yourself. Print this out and show a therapist. Seriously. Hopefully their question is "And why did you feel the need to post that?" and you can explore your desperate insecurity and need to be mean to people when you can hide behind anonymity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

huh? what world are you living in? Of course people assign value and judgment based on your outward appearance. If people aren't noticing your clothes, there's judgment on that as well.

No, sane people don’t decide you’re having a mid life crazy because you wear colors in your 40s. Some of you live small lives.

[Anonymous]

Buy shoes in different colors than neutrals, brown or black. Try boots and tights.
Mix colors, use color charts for complimentary colors rather than safe choices.
Buy something "younger" looking like a top but pair it with something standard. Look for different prints and cuts.
Buy unique sweaters or different colors (if you always wear gray, try another color) or patterns and styles.
Earrings and bracelets can be fun accessories.
Don't overdo it.
Does it make you feel happy when you put it on? Do you really like it? Think about if you feel happy and confident in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:47 F. Feeling like outfits are bleh. Some might think the style of clothes I'm wearing now is classy or understated especially at this age but I feel a lot like everything is too conservative. But I don't know how to do fun or more daring without looking silly. Any advice from those who manage to dress well into this age?

Classy is always in fashion. You can go on Pinterest and find gorgous 20somethings in classic clothing. I'm 51 and have 2 stylist teenage daughters which helps keep me up to date but if i dressed like them people wouldn't take me seriously. I try to wear basic styles that are flattering on my body despite the trend. With jeans now, all styles go so that's easy. I try to keep it classic but update shoes and accessories and change jean styles, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:47 F. Feeling like outfits are bleh. Some might think the style of clothes I'm wearing now is classy or understated especially at this age but I feel a lot like everything is too conservative. But I don't know how to do fun or more daring without looking silly. Any advice from those who manage to dress well into this age?

Classy is always in fashion. You can go on Pinterest and find gorgous 20somethings in classic clothing. I'm 51 and have 2 stylist teenage daughters which helps keep me up to date but if i dressed like them people wouldn't take me seriously. I try to wear basic styles that are flattering on my body despite the trend. With jeans now, all styles go so that's easy. I try to keep it classic but update shoes and accessories and change jean styles, etc.

PP here- I would also add the most important thing is clothes are most flattering on you regardless of the hottest trend.

[Anonymous]

I am pretty low effort so I wouldn't say I usually dress fun. But when I am dressing up I no longer just try to blend in or hide parts of my body that I don't love. I wear a lot more colors and also jewelry rather than being swathed in sad beige. But I don't wear a lot of short of low cut stuff so I don't think it looks age-inappropriate. Beyond that I don't really care about trends or perception, I want to look and feel fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

+1= I love Prue's style- she looks great in color and rocks her lipstick and glasses but I have no interest in wearing similar.
I'm 60 and think I still dress stylish when I go out. Good jeans and suede skirts- (shortish with tights), a few pieces from Anthropologie each season- this winter I have a cool belt, velour shirt and chunky knit short sleave sweater- all versatile. When I'm at home I typically wear nice athleisurewear.

[Anonymous]

sleeve...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really. I am very short with largish breasts and if I don't wear fitted clothes I look frumpy, so I wear very simple solid dark colors type outfits. I actually would love to wear peasant blouses and beautiful prints and bright colors, love those on other women, but on me it's just all wrong. I've been thinking I need to buy some small, fun accessories like more interesting jewelry, belt, shoes...

Same here.

Yup, jewelry is pretty much our only option pp. I have a lot of really cute jewelry but the object of my wardrobe is to keep my breasts from looking porn-y or matronly.

Consider getting a reduction. I’m really glad I did, and I don’t have to worry about my shirts sticking out and dropping off as if from a shelf.

At this point I have adapted so much I don’t even think about getting a reduction. I don’t have back pain, etc, unless my bra doesn’t fit properly. But if they get any bigger with age I am definitely tapping out and getting a reduction.

Mine got really pendulous in addition to too large. That is what decided it for me. I got a reduction and lift. Wish I'd done it sooner.

Ugh yes this is happening to me too and I am in total denial about it- I’m scared to get a surgery!!

[Anonymous]

If you want ideas and a “ young” take on this, check out Emma Mcmorran on instagram. She is in her mid 20s and an artist and her grwm videos are great. She has great style and she’s not afraid of color or prints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really. I am very short with largish breasts and if I don't wear fitted clothes I look frumpy, so I wear very simple solid dark colors type outfits. I actually would love to wear peasant blouses and beautiful prints and bright colors, love those on other women, but on me it's just all wrong. I've been thinking I need to buy some small, fun accessories like more interesting jewelry, belt, shoes...

Same here.

Yup, jewelry is pretty much our only option pp. I have a lot of really cute jewelry but the object of my wardrobe is to keep my breasts from looking porn-y or matronly.

Consider getting a reduction. I’m really glad I did, and I don’t have to worry about my shirts sticking out and dropping off as if from a shelf.

At this point I have adapted so much I don’t even think about getting a reduction. I don’t have back pain, etc, unless my bra doesn’t fit properly. But if they get any bigger with age I am definitely tapping out and getting a reduction.

Mine got really pendulous in addition to too large. That is what decided it for me. I got a reduction and lift. Wish I'd done it sooner.

Ugh yes this is happening to me too and I am in total denial about it- I’m scared to get a surgery!!

Don’t be scared! It’s so worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

huh? what world are you living in? Of course people assign value and judgment based on your outward appearance. If people aren't noticing your clothes, there's judgment on that as well.

No, sane people don’t decide you’re having a mid life crazy because you wear colors in your 40s. Some of you live small lives.

OP didn't say "wear colors" -- she said "dress fun." That means wearing clothes that are attention grabbing, maybe a little eccentric. "Fun" implies clothes that people will notice and that will stand out in a sea of businesswear.

And yes, if someone was always dressed in business casual neutrals and then started wearing vibrantly patterned clothes, hats, and shoes, some people will absolutely think it is some kind of mental health issue. Especially in many of the industries common in DC -- corporate law, policy, consulting, etc. This doesn't mean someone lives a "small life" (hello, judgmental), it means that they know they will be judged for their clothes and have to think about how it could impact their career and how people perceive them.

If you're a kindergarten teacher or work in a creative field, it's totally different. But most of us aren't in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Athleisure in bright colors.

[Anonymous]

I dress like Iris Apfel. Life is short and then you die. I prefer to spend looking bright and colorful and quirky. I don’t care what other people do.