School with few toxic parents

[Anonymous]

How much time do you spend with the parents at DCs school?

[Anonymous]

The toxic parents find each other at every school. This site is like tinder for that kind fo thing.

[Anonymous]

It’s totally a private school thing and it’s bizarre. When public school parents look for schools they only care about the quality and reputation of the school itself. They don’t give a shit about the parents because they have no plan to have anything to do with them. They have their own happy and productive lives and friends.

Private school parents approach the decision like they’re joining a country club. To them it’s all about the “community”—meaning are the families rich and special and exclusive enough for me to associate with?

So weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s totally a private school thing and it’s bizarre. When public school parents look for schools they only care about the quality and reputation of the school itself. They don’t give a shit about the parents because they have no plan to have anything to do with them. They have their own happy and productive lives and friends.

Private school parents approach the decision like they’re joining a country club. To them it’s all about the “community”—meaning are the families rich and special and exclusive enough for me to associate with?

So weird.

We’ve done both. In general, I think you are correct if we are just talking about HS. But you only need to look at the many threads on the public school boards to see parents are interested in the community at their kids ES/MS. These parents know that having some degree of parental involvement in the lower grades is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s totally a private school thing and it’s bizarre. When public school parents look for schools they only care about the quality and reputation of the school itself. They don’t give a shit about the parents because they have no plan to have anything to do with them. They have their own happy and productive lives and friends.

Private school parents approach the decision like they’re joining a country club. To them it’s all about the “community”—meaning are the families rich and special and exclusive enough for me to associate with?

So weird.

One of the principal reasons we moved our sons from the Pyle - Whitman track was so they would be with boys who came from families with similar rules and values. The "community" you don't seem to like has a informal set of behavioral standards, much like a small town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that posters here represent a small percent of real parents at these schools.

This.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t encountered toxic parents at our private school (a Big3). I’m sure they must be there because DCUM says so, but everyone I’ve met has been lovely. And we did care about “community” but not in a country club way - we aren’t members of any - but just meaning that we were interested in meeting other families and building friendships, so looking for people who also wanted that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest any schools that aren't brought up constantly here with complaints, such as Gonzaga, DeMatha, SJC, St. Anselm. People only speak up when they have things to complain about, not when things are going well, usually. And from my experience, toxic parents tend to be the loudest.

I was going to suggest the WCAC schools as well, only because they have many athletes that come from MC and LMC backgrounds. The schools tend to be much more economically diverse than the Big3-type schools and even certain public schools like Langley, Whitman et al in wealthy suburbs.

Also, the college choices are far more diverse and not everyone is aiming for just top 20 academic schools, so it's not so toxic from that respect. Again, the athletes want some of the top D1 athletic schools which often aren't top academic schools.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, Field and Burke have decidedly chill parents and communities, with Burke parents just a smidge more low-key. Both are lovely.

[Anonymous]

At our top 3 school I found some people intimidating at first because of their clothes, general appearance, and vibe of success/power, but they were not “toxic”. In fact, they’re usually very interesting people. Also any of the women that look like “trophy wives” tend to be very accomplished people in their own right.

If you go around looking for something/someone to judge, I’m sure you’ll find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our top 3 school I found some people intimidating at first because of their clothes, general appearance, and vibe of success/power, but they were not “toxic”. In fact, they’re usually very interesting people. Also any of the women that look like “trophy wives” tend to be very accomplished people in their own right.

If you go around looking for something/someone to judge, I’m sure you’ll find it.

I started to practice dressing like "trophy wives". I copy their shoes and styles. I think it is very interesting, although in my day life I more than half of the bread winner and far from being any trophy. It is interesting to see how people treat you differently just because you had a different pairs of shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our top 3 school I found some people intimidating at first because of their clothes, general appearance, and vibe of success/power, but they were not “toxic”. In fact, they’re usually very interesting people. Also any of the women that look like “trophy wives” tend to be very accomplished people in their own right.

If you go around looking for something/someone to judge, I’m sure you’ll find it.

I started to practice dressing like "trophy wives". I copy their shoes and styles. I think it is very interesting, although in my day life I more than half of the bread winner and far from being any trophy. It is interesting to see how people treat you differently just because you had a different pairs of shoes.

so hot. post pictures!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our top 3 school I found some people intimidating at first because of their clothes, general appearance, and vibe of success/power, but they were not “toxic”. In fact, they’re usually very interesting people. Also any of the women that look like “trophy wives” tend to be very accomplished people in their own right.

If you go around looking for something/someone to judge, I’m sure you’ll find it.

I started to practice dressing like "trophy wives". I copy their shoes and styles. I think it is very interesting, although in my day life I more than half of the bread winner and far from being any trophy. It is interesting to see how people treat you differently just because you had a different pairs of shoes.

so hot. post pictures!

I even want to meet you.

[Anonymous]

I have met very few people I would consider toxic, and as such, I'm wondering if either people are running around with hair triggers or.. well, if you are running into lots of toxic people, possibly there's a common denominator. Though I suppose it could just be I don't get out enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I suppose it could just be I don't get out enough...

On further thought, it may also be that I am constitutionally averse to status. Many toxic people are status obsessed, and their fight to be at the top of a hierarchy is an outgrowth. So you'd expect to see a far more of them at a school touted as "Big 3" than St Generic's Faith Baptist Shepherd Temple Academy.