Airport/train pickup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guest .. I’d never inconvenience a family w one car and small children.

This. Ya'll ain't teenagers. There are spouses and children involved. Get your own self to and from! That DH doesn't see that is grating. I cannot with adults who cannot comprehend that their spouse and children's welfare take priority over a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL has visited us a couple of weekends recently, which is great. My DH always wants to pick her up and drop her off, which is not so great because we only have one car so the whole family has to plan around making this 2-2.5 hour round trip twice in 48 hours. This meant I couldn't commit to hosting her for Thanksgiving until I had my time off Wed and Fri confirmed because she'd be expecting rides, for example. If she'd take the shuttle (around $60), we could be more flexible, but my husband thinks it is rude not to pick family up.

I'm frustrated because it's a lot of time, it stresses me out when she's like "this is when the cheapest ticket is, does that work?" and i have to calculate work commuting, kids schedules, etc around that, and she's never ONCE offered to chip into gas for the 200 miles of driving we do each weekend she visits. (We both know neither she nor we have much extra money - I know the shuttle costs, but driving isn't free!)

Now we really need to get some work done on our car, and my formerly remote job has become fully in person in another town. I have Wed and Fri of Thanksgiving week off, but we can't take it in those days because those are her travel days. Ideally we can find a place that can do it over a weekend, but I am so frustrated that the shuttle isn't an option. Do you all drive family to and from airports and stations an hour away every time? If not, how do you bring it up?

Only elderly relatives/unaccompanied minors/invalids get rides. All other able-bodied adults arrange for their own transportation. I refuse to run a shuttle service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse and I differ on this.
I’m from England and when I go home ( once a year) I expect to be picked up and dropped off with DD. It’s about a 90 min drive each way.
I do the same when friends or family come here. BWI is easier but if their flight is cheaper out of IAD I’ll drive there. It is what it is.
Spouse is a believer in never putting others out and would do the shuttle if she was your SIL

Wow, absent a medical need or some other extenuating circumstance I can’t imagine ever accepting (much less expecting!) a friend or family member driving a total of 6 hours round trip in just to take me to and from an airport in an era where ubers and a range of other options are so ubiquitous.

[Anonymous]

With advance booking, car rentals can actually be pretty cheap from an airport.
The sister needs to understand how imposing these pickup/dropoffs are on a one car household in the suburbs. If it's a first time visit to an area, I get it as the transit options can be unfamiliar and confusing.
But these are regular visits and sister should get the hang of it by now.

[Anonymous]

OP, the fact that your car needs servicing overrules everything. If your only car breaks down then where will you be? Bring your car in for servicing when they will take it and work on it and get it back to you.

Don't count on Wed before thanksg. because they will just let it sit on the lot for a few days and maybe until monday.

Tell the repair shop you want a loaner.

Once repairs are settled, the PP who said it's cheaper for DH to do the long shuttle and local rides can be Uber was right. It's either that or pay for SIL's uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse and I differ on this.
I’m from England and when I go home ( once a year) I expect to be picked up and dropped off with DD. It’s about a 90 min drive each way.
I do the same when friends or family come here. BWI is easier but if their flight is cheaper out of IAD I’ll drive there. It is what it is.
Spouse is a believer in never putting others out and would do the shuttle if she was your SIL

Why do you expect this? I would feel terrible inconveniencing people like that. So selfish.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine the one car being an issue only when it’s time to go to the airport. How is this not always an issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your SIL physically able to safely drive a car? If so, she should rent a car. If she cannot afford that, you guys can offer to pay.

You could also offer to pay for Uber or cab or shuttle.

Is your DH South Asian or some other first gen? I taught foreign educated students and during orientation we clearly stated to them that "I need to pick up my auntie at the airport" is NOT a reasonable excuse for missing class. Some cultures REALLY emphasize picking people up at the airport.

Often there’s a good practical reason behind it.

In 1992, while I was living in rural Ecuador, my host family expected their aunt to visit. She had lived in Spain for a couple of decades. Her nephews drove to Quito to pick her up, but arrived many hours later than arranged. They couldn’t find her at the airport. She was confirmed to have deplaned and made it through immigration. Several drivers said she got in a taxi to go to a nearby hotel. She was found two weeks later in really bad shape. Robbed and beaten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do it if it’s not an inconvenience but honestly if it’s rush hour or something I tell them to take a cab. I don’t think being considerate requires actually rearranging your leave schedule etc

This. We try to pick people up but sometimes when we are busy, I ask guests to take an uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guest .. I’d never inconvenience a family w one car and small children.

This. People need to grow up. SIL needs to pay for the damned shuttle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guest .. I’d never inconvenience a family w one car and small children.

This. People need to grow up. SIL needs to pay for the damned shuttle.

OP has stated that it is easier for SIL to visit them and not for OP and family to visit SIL. SIL already paid for the flight. Both sides are cash strapped. I think it is fine for the DH to pick up his sister. He wants to and he likes having her visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your SIL physically able to safely drive a car? If so, she should rent a car. If she cannot afford that, you guys can offer to pay.

You could also offer to pay for Uber or cab or shuttle.

Is your DH South Asian or some other first gen? I taught foreign educated students and during orientation we clearly stated to them that "I need to pick up my auntie at the airport" is NOT a reasonable excuse for missing class. Some cultures REALLY emphasize picking people up at the airport.

Often there’s a good practical reason behind it.

In 1992, while I was living in rural Ecuador, my host family expected their aunt to visit. She had lived in Spain for a couple of decades. Her nephews drove to Quito to pick her up, but arrived many hours later than arranged. They couldn’t find her at the airport. She was confirmed to have deplaned and made it through immigration. Several drivers said she got in a taxi to go to a nearby hotel. She was found two weeks later in really bad shape. Robbed and beaten.

That’s very sad and scary. Also, unlikely to be an issue in 2025 at IAD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guest .. I’d never inconvenience a family w one car and small children.

This. People need to grow up. SIL needs to pay for the damned shuttle.

OP has stated that it is easier for SIL to visit them and not for OP and family to visit SIL. SIL already paid for the flight. Both sides are cash strapped. I think it is fine for the DH to pick up his sister. He wants to and he likes having her visit.

And more cost effective for DH to pick her up and for the family to use uber for small local trip at that conflicting time.
Especially since OP will pay either way sounds like

[Anonymous]

We would never let vulnerable guests navigate their way alone - elderly, guests with small kids, females travelling alone or with other female, new to country, students etc.

In other words - my family will always pick up and drop guests off. We do not host fit MMA practitioners.

[Anonymous]

“While we can usually move things around to do airport runs for your visits, our car is going to be in the shop on Weds. Would you prefer to rent a car, or just uber/take metro/shuttle?”