Incredibly worrisome back to school night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This shouldn’t be discussed at back to school night. That’s not the purpose of the night. She should have told you to schedule a conference and talk about it at a different time.

That's the weird part! We were like so nice to meet you! We hope our kid is doing okay! And then she just went in on this. That was jarring. Neither of us were prepared for this. There weren't any other parents at her table and she was alone so maybe she was making conversation but it was strange.

We always do conferences much later, like mid to late October to see how things are going. But this sort of raised a red flag for me but I can't decide if my son isn't up for this class or whether this teacher just doesn't want him in there.

You never should have said this. That was your mistake. You put her in a bad position - if she said fine and lied then you’d be pissed if you heard later he wasn’t doing fine (but she said he was doing ok at back to school night!) It’s a no win situation.

Oh come on, it's small talk. EVERY parent says this.

Nope. I am a parent who introduces herself to the teachers at BTS night. I only say - I’m Larla’s mom, just wanted to say hi. She’s enjoying your class so far!

No response needed. I would never say “hope she’s doing ok”. That requires a lot from the teacher on a very busy night.

[Anonymous]

Why ever did your ego write checks your kid has to cash?
Agreeing to advanced math but needing summer tutors to be ready is not being ready for advanced math coming out of 5. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This shouldn’t be discussed at back to school night. That’s not the purpose of the night. She should have told you to schedule a conference and talk about it at a different time.

That's the weird part! We were like so nice to meet you! We hope our kid is doing okay! And then she just went in on this. That was jarring. Neither of us were prepared for this. There weren't any other parents at her table and she was alone so maybe she was making conversation but it was strange.

We always do conferences much later, like mid to late October to see how things are going. But this sort of raised a red flag for me but I can't decide if my son isn't up for this class or whether this teacher just doesn't want him in there.

You never should have said this. That was your mistake. You put her in a bad position - if she said fine and lied then you’d be pissed if you heard later he wasn’t doing fine (but she said he was doing ok at back to school night!) It’s a no win situation.

Oh come on, it's small talk. EVERY parent says this.

Nope. I am a parent who introduces herself to the teachers at BTS night. I only say - I’m Larla’s mom, just wanted to say hi. She’s enjoying your class so far!

No response needed. I would never say “hope she’s doing ok”. That requires a lot from the teacher on a very busy night.

"I'm really enjoying having Larla in class. Thanks for coming tonight."

Why would you need to say anything more than that? No need to complicate things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to tone it down, OP. Your kid has many challenges ahead of them, and he won't benefit from having a mother who panics at the merest hint of a challenge. You need to model for your son how to deal with people.

First, it's rude to talk about specific issues during BTSN. I know some parents do it. But you cannot get into the nitty gritty on that night - teachers are exhausted after teaching the whole day. They need to grade and they need to teach again tomorrow. Schedule a meeting. No wonder she looked grim! She might be in a more engaging mindset next time you see her.

And if your worst fears are realized and the teacher doesn't believe your kid deserves to be in her class... so what? He is! You need to rope in the counselor or case manager and make sure accommodations are enforced and maybe new ones added. My kid had DOUBLE TIME ON HIS ACT AND AP EXAMS, plus a typing accommodation. He took 12 AP exams! He has double time in college! These things happen. You can call for an IEP meeting any time, without waiting for the annual meeting. You will not let yourself get worked up by words uttered at the end of a long night by a tired teacher who is unused to teaching a twice exceptional kid.

Go to sleep. Tomorrow it won't seem so bad.

Ignore this person

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm a teacher and a parent to a kid with a disability. Sorry to tell you this, but a fair portion of your child's teacher are going to be lousy in one way or another. Your current teacher is absolutely wrong about not providing accommodations for disabled kids. Just look up "twice gifted." And you have legal grounds to complain - she is obligated to accommodate him and you aren't even asking for anything difficult or unreasonable.

Also, her job is to make sure he learns, not to present and give tests. That's the actual job description, not just my opinion. Your job is to advocate for your child and provide support at home.

I can't promise you a good outcome, because there are a ton of horrible teachers in FCPS, and probably everywhere, but the teacher is in the wrong here. Try talking to SPED, who should be in charge of his IEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to tone it down, OP. Your kid has many challenges ahead of them, and he won't benefit from having a mother who panics at the merest hint of a challenge. You need to model for your son how to deal with people.

First, it's rude to talk about specific issues during BTSN. I know some parents do it. But you cannot get into the nitty gritty on that night - teachers are exhausted after teaching the whole day. They need to grade and they need to teach again tomorrow. Schedule a meeting. No wonder she looked grim! She might be in a more engaging mindset next time you see her.

And if your worst fears are realized and the teacher doesn't believe your kid deserves to be in her class... so what? He is! You need to rope in the counselor or case manager and make sure accommodations are enforced and maybe new ones added. My kid had DOUBLE TIME ON HIS ACT AND AP EXAMS, plus a typing accommodation. He took 12 AP exams! He has double time in college! These things happen. You can call for an IEP meeting any time, without waiting for the annual meeting. You will not let yourself get worked up by words uttered at the end of a long night by a tired teacher who is unused to teaching a twice exceptional kid.

Go to sleep. Tomorrow it won't seem so bad.

Ignore this person

And yet, apart from the correction about who started the convo, they're absolutely right. There's nothing to see here. The teacher was tired and stressed out. They said things. The kid has good grades so far. The teacher noticed he was a little slow. None of it is grounds to post on DCUM at DEFCON 1.

Why are you stressing out so much? Is this the worst thing that has ever happened to your kid? If so, wow. You're so lucky. The rest of us are here to tell you that you must play the long game and be patient. Odds are, your kid will be fine all year in her class. If he isn't, you will have time to intervene. For example, if he cannot finish his assignments in time, you can call an ad hoc IEP meeting and request extended time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why ever did your ego write checks your kid has to cash?
Agreeing to advanced math but needing summer tutors to be ready is not being ready for advanced math coming out of 5. Sheesh.

Did you not read that the Principal wanted to place the child in advanced math because he had 99th percentile IReady scores and a passed advanced on the SOL?? The parents didn’t push him into advanced math, it is the correct placement for him.

You must not have had any children in advanced math in middle school. The AAP/advanced math class learns 6th grade math while in 5th grade. The OP’s son was not in advanced math in 5th grade, so he only learned the 5th grade math curriculum (meaning he has missed a year of math instruction). It makes 100% sense that they have him in tutoring and are working with him on what he has missed by not being in advanced math in previous years.