Cultivating street smarts

[Anonymous]

Honestly you sound a little racist to me. It reads like “I force my kid to do a sport he hates just so he can see a black man being something other than a criminal because we know he probably won’t see it anywhere else.”

[Anonymous]

"street smarts" to me is about trusting your gut and avoiding potentially unsafe situations and conflict. It's about walking down a sidewalk where a mentally ill person might be ranting, but it's also about navigating creeps on the playground or a potential sexual predator who they know. It's about being confident, knowing boundaries, and also knowing how to navigate slight penetrations of boundaries without shutting down or panicking.

OP you have clearly built a life that attempts to scrub all signs of discomfort from your kid's life, but at least make sure you're teaching them out to speak up for themselves, how to say no and walk away, etc.

[Anonymous]

Un/fortunately you can’t really become fully street smart in the ways that matter most without going through some bad experiences. This is the one thing that you can’t buy for your kids! Ha!

But really that is just another privilege that you have. You can avoid the trauma of being a victim of the streets. You should watch what you wish for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why? Realistically, your kid is probably going to always be surrounded by majority UMC white people. Or people of different races from middle class up.

Not everyone stays in the suburbs. More and more young people are branching out. My daughter is in a BFA program in NYC. Her classmates and friends are from everywhere and all income levels. She works a part time job where most people weren’t born here. At one point my daughter and her closest friends had boyfriends all from different countries.

My 5th grader has friends born in Africa, Russia and many South Americans.

What you’re describing about the kid never leaving his bubble is outdated. Not everyone will be in a big city but as more people move around for various reasons there will be more blending of families and friends. Hopefully the next generation understands that they don’t need to hide in a neighborhood set apart for large income people to keep safe.

[Anonymous]

Spoiler alert: your kids will not be street smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: your kids will not be street smart.

lol

[Anonymous]

I can empathize with the OP. I grew up poor, on welfare in the deep south in a trailer park.

I am very well off now and find I have to manufacture hardship in order to install some for of resilience in my kids now. That also goes for "Street Smarts." I have to go out of my way to put them in an environment where my overly taken care of kids have to come face to face with how more poverty stricken folks interact....which is not how things are in my current neighborhood or surrounding neighborhoods.

I like to take them down to sketchy parts of DC from time to time and go to some shady 7-Elevens. Also, we go to local grocery stores when on vacation in the caribbean.

Then, we like to watch old Mr. T PSA videos on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo1hUo7C6Ow

I'm being half-serious here, but you do have do be a parent and try to bring attention to things like this. Talk to them about:
1.) Being Attentive and Observant
2.) Stranger Encounters
3.) Seeking Help and Safety

[Anonymous]

I hope this entire thread is a joke.

You don't learn 'street smarts', the same way you pick up a casual hobby. It's lifelong lived experience, and not something that can be taught from the comfort of a gated community.

Be honest with yourself, your kids neither should, nor really needs to learn 'street smarts'.

-Signed, someone that grew up in a desperately poor, drug saturated, high-crime area, that knows that they're talking about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"street smarts" to me is about trusting your gut and avoiding potentially unsafe situations and conflict. It's about walking down a sidewalk where a mentally ill person might be ranting, but it's also about navigating creeps on the playground or a potential sexual predator who they know. It's about being confident, knowing boundaries, and also knowing how to navigate slight penetrations of boundaries without shutting down or panicking.

OP you have clearly built a life that attempts to scrub all signs of discomfort from your kid's life, but at least make sure you're teaching them out to speak up for themselves, how to say no and walk away, etc.

I agree with this. This is what street smarts are. Having a black coach doesn’t really have anything to do with street smarts. My kids have black teachers, friends, coaches, doctors, and their dentist. That is just what color they are, we didn’t pick them based on their skin and wouldn’t continue in a sport for that reason. Even if you live in a suburb , you probably travel. My kids have been yelled at when we were getting on the subway in nyc , people who’ve appeared unhoused and mentally ill yelling at us outside of parking garages when we’ve gone to a museum, people who knock on our car windows asking for money when we’re stopped in traffic. Or people asking/yelling for money just sitting on the sidewalk. I think going to any major city is a lesson in street smarts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your kid? It is pretty urban where we live so these topics come up naturally, and my kids can connect why we say the things we do. They are in elementary school. I don't think I could teach them these things in the abstract at this age.

Almost 8. Right, my area is fully suburban and white with a few Jewish people, Asians, hispanics, and no black people. I have him continually signed up to a sport he doesn't love (tennis) because the coach happens to be black and I want him to have a positive role model / leader who is black and because he has no other male teacher and I think that is important too. Am I being ridiculous?

Why are you talking about your son’s exposure to Black people, and Black men in particular, as part of talking about “street smarts?”

Precisely

- a black woman

Nobody cares you black. Why even say it.

[Anonymous]

Woah a life lesson to earn street smarts in children is going to a 7-11! And you venture out of your hotel on the water to get groceries. That will help out if a man ever comes up to them on the street asking for all their money. The memory of going to local groceries and 7-11s with mom will allow them to spring into action.

Last trip to Puerto Rico I couldn’t stand the idea of being in a resort with the same old scene so we got a house in a neighborhood with only houses. It was actually the neighborhood where Bad Bunny grew up.

Kids will develop independence as needed. It’s not about being with you and you see homeless people. Don’t teach them to be fearful of people that aren’t just like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: your kids will not be street smart.

Nobody ever has a PhD in it. It's a sliding scale. Learn what you able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"street smarts" to me is about trusting your gut and avoiding potentially unsafe situations and conflict. It's about walking down a sidewalk where a mentally ill person might be ranting, but it's also about navigating creeps on the playground or a potential sexual predator who they know. It's about being confident, knowing boundaries, and also knowing how to navigate slight penetrations of boundaries without shutting down or panicking.

OP you have clearly built a life that attempts to scrub all signs of discomfort from your kid's life, but at least make sure you're teaching them out to speak up for themselves, how to say no and walk away, etc.

I agree with this. This is what street smarts are. Having a black coach doesn’t really have anything to do with street smarts. My kids have black teachers, friends, coaches, doctors, and their dentist. That is just what color they are, we didn’t pick them based on their skin and wouldn’t continue in a sport for that reason. Even if you live in a suburb , you probably travel. My kids have been yelled at when we were getting on the subway in nyc , people who’ve appeared unhoused and mentally ill yelling at us outside of parking garages when we’ve gone to a museum, people who knock on our car windows asking for money when we’re stopped in traffic. Or people asking/yelling for money just sitting on the sidewalk. I think going to any major city is a lesson in street smarts.

Street smarts is knowing how to handle yourself when no grownups are around and a tougher bigger groups of kids comes after you.

Walking fast towards the museum entrance from the garage lololol you people are too much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"street smarts" to me is about trusting your gut and avoiding potentially unsafe situations and conflict. It's about walking down a sidewalk where a mentally ill person might be ranting, but it's also about navigating creeps on the playground or a potential sexual predator who they know. It's about being confident, knowing boundaries, and also knowing how to navigate slight penetrations of boundaries without shutting down or panicking.

OP you have clearly built a life that attempts to scrub all signs of discomfort from your kid's life, but at least make sure you're teaching them out to speak up for themselves, how to say no and walk away, etc.

I agree with this. This is what street smarts are. Having a black coach doesn’t really have anything to do with street smarts. My kids have black teachers, friends, coaches, doctors, and their dentist. That is just what color they are, we didn’t pick them based on their skin and wouldn’t continue in a sport for that reason. Even if you live in a suburb , you probably travel. My kids have been yelled at when we were getting on the subway in nyc , people who’ve appeared unhoused and mentally ill yelling at us outside of parking garages when we’ve gone to a museum, people who knock on our car windows asking for money when we’re stopped in traffic. Or people asking/yelling for money just sitting on the sidewalk. I think going to any major city is a lesson in street smarts.

Street smarts is knowing how to handle yourself when no grownups are around and a tougher bigger groups of kids comes after you.

Walking fast towards the museum entrance from the garage lololol you people are too much

I was giving a few examples for her situation , I don’t live in a suburb nor is my family wealthy like OP. I also only have one elementary schooler. My teens and college age kid are out alone in the city on public transportation everyday since they were 13 and have more street smarts than most kids I see today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"street smarts" to me is about trusting your gut and avoiding potentially unsafe situations and conflict. It's about walking down a sidewalk where a mentally ill person might be ranting, but it's also about navigating creeps on the playground or a potential sexual predator who they know. It's about being confident, knowing boundaries, and also knowing how to navigate slight penetrations of boundaries without shutting down or panicking.

OP you have clearly built a life that attempts to scrub all signs of discomfort from your kid's life, but at least make sure you're teaching them out to speak up for themselves, how to say no and walk away, etc.

I agree with this. This is what street smarts are. Having a black coach doesn’t really have anything to do with street smarts. My kids have black teachers, friends, coaches, doctors, and their dentist. That is just what color they are, we didn’t pick them based on their skin and wouldn’t continue in a sport for that reason. Even if you live in a suburb , you probably travel. My kids have been yelled at when we were getting on the subway in nyc , people who’ve appeared unhoused and mentally ill yelling at us outside of parking garages when we’ve gone to a museum, people who knock on our car windows asking for money when we’re stopped in traffic. Or people asking/yelling for money just sitting on the sidewalk. I think going to any major city is a lesson in street smarts.

Street smarts is knowing how to handle yourself when no grownups are around and a tougher bigger groups of kids comes after you.

Walking fast towards the museum entrance from the garage lololol you people are too much

I was giving a few examples for her situation , I don’t live in a suburb nor is my family wealthy like OP. I also only have one elementary schooler. My teens and college age kid are out alone in the city on public transportation everyday since they were 13 and have more street smarts than most kids I see today.

+1. Living in the city, most kids take public transportation as teens, deal with all sorts of people and things and are street smart. You have to be.

So no need to do anything but teach your kid how to be prepared to handle different situations which will come up.