People who brag about inherited wealth

[Anonymous]

I know someone who talks about maintaining tight budget on spouse's 100k salary and simultaneously reminds you they have an inheritance of 5+ mill they don't touch. They aren't extravagant- kids in public and only one income, but obviously college and retirement handled from the inheritance and perhaps they also live off the interest. It is really grating to hear them talk about being budget conscious living off spouse's salary when the rest of friend group working long days and hustling for any of our privileges like a vacation or other expenses.

[Anonymous]

Only one solution.

Marry him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

Honestly there’s no good way to handle this. I’m pretty open about our financial situation but some people will be mad at me no matter what I say. We’re rich because of a combination of inheritance, entrepreneurial success and lucky investments. Our W2s are almost irrelevant. There is hard work and talent involved, but that’s obviously not 1:1. One of the consequences of living this life is that I don’t assume much correlation between wealth and virtue and none after a certain level.

So what do you want that family to tell you? How are they “pretending?” You’re probably not close friends, right? Are they supposed to show you a tax return?

I'm not expecting people to proactively bring this up when we are making small talk but we have some people who are reasonably good friends and when they asked us why we were leaving DC for the suburbs and we said "well we hate to leave DC but even though we can afford private school on our salaries, we are worried that we would not be saving enough and would be up a creek if one of lost our jobs" and they would just say "we could never leave DC that is why we send our 4 kids to Sidwell." Meanwhile other friends said "we are lucky to have tuition help from grandparents, otherwise we would be doing the same thing." That seems more honest and not bragging - just stating a fact.

+1. We have a friend who said they stretched for their $6M house and then his wife mentioned it was bought with her trust funds. I about fell over. You stretched the trust funds to buy the house? Mmmhmmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people with generational wealth don’t act like that OP. One side of my family wears tattered clothes because they just don’t care about appearances. Your associate sounds like insufferable new money.

New money means you made it if yourself. Generational wealth is inherited. Using "new money" pejoratively is almost as bad as what OP describes.

+2

Imagine thinking you’re somehow more deserving of a seat at the table because your forbear found a way to make some coin rather than finding a way to do it yourself.

Sad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

Lol so true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

Honestly there’s no good way to handle this. I’m pretty open about our financial situation but some people will be mad at me no matter what I say. We’re rich because of a combination of inheritance, entrepreneurial success and lucky investments. Our W2s are almost irrelevant. There is hard work and talent involved, but that’s obviously not 1:1. One of the consequences of living this life is that I don’t assume much correlation between wealth and virtue and none after a certain level.

So what do you want that family to tell you? How are they “pretending?” You’re probably not close friends, right? Are they supposed to show you a tax return?

I'm not expecting people to proactively bring this up when we are making small talk but we have some people who are reasonably good friends and when they asked us why we were leaving DC for the suburbs and we said "well we hate to leave DC but even though we can afford private school on our salaries, we are worried that we would not be saving enough and would be up a creek if one of lost our jobs" and they would just say "we could never leave DC that is why we send our 4 kids to Sidwell." Meanwhile other friends said "we are lucky to have tuition help from grandparents, otherwise we would be doing the same thing." That seems more honest and not bragging - just stating a fact.

They said the wrong thing. They should have just said “I’m sure there are great things about living in Rockville” or whatever. Because your other friends might have done better but someone else would punish them for saying that. I would argue you were all already in fraught territory talking about why you were moving beyond “we will miss you, but it sounds like a great new neighborhood!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of people who came from money and have inherited huge amounts. None act the way your associate does.

This. Your associate’s behavior is quite different from the old money behavior I am familiar with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of people who came from money and have inherited huge amounts. None act the way your associate does.

This. Your associate’s behavior is quite different from the old money behavior I am familiar with.

People keep using the term “old money” as if it’s very common. How far back are you going? And why do you think people act a certain way when their money is “old”.