Loving all these over the hill frumpsters raging over the idea of people people putting effort into being attractive to attract a mate. Good luck building your utopia of sackcloth blobs plugged into the transhuman Matrix. |
They want your son to try to have sex with their daughter so they can be the hero and prevent it. |
lol |
Of course the mom should not be helping the daughter attract men. But if a girl/woman wants to attract a guy to be her boyfriend, it isn’t rocket science to look physically attractive. |
This is toxic advice. Your mom told you to actively seek out "unattractive" friends to make you look good for the boys?! Wow. Just let your daughter vent, OP, and let her know that it's OK to have boys who are friends. That's usually how one gets a boyfriend. Also, I was pretty nerdy and the chess club, math club, and music boys were hawt to me. |
She's a healthy teen. Tell her to think about what she needs to do to reach her goals. Is she putting effort into being attractive? Is she outgoing and friendly? You don't want her to turn into the posters who come on here 40 years old asking how to catch a man. |
Wow, thats a really touching memory. What a woman. |
My high school kid has a lot of friends. He is friends with girls and I don’t think he is trying to date them. My son is also very good looking and nice. Just because he isn’t girl crazy and doesn’t think many people are pretty doesn’t mean he goes around calling girls ugly. |
I certainly don’t think anyone should be encouraging a teen HS girl to be thinking about “romantic love.” They are far too young for that. I mean, sure - they they want to have some little puppy-love/ going steady with some boy, that is innocent enough; hold hands or kiss a little. But it’s too soon to even consider it real, or anything approaching romance; she shouldn’t even be thinking those sorts of thoughts. |
+1000 |
Yikes. Sounds like your boys have unrealistically high standards if they think "most" girls are not attractive. Have you talked to them about physical appearance being a small part of what makes for a good person and a good relationship? |
Congratulations - you succeeded in making yourself sound more shallow than in your first post! I have sons and daughters and would be all over them if all they cared about was how someone else looked, but clearly you are the same since you pointed out that your son hangs out with attractive boys and his high school doesn't have many pretty girls. Your value system is very screwed up. |
It's normal for teens to want to date. Most teens talk to their friends about this though, not their parents. It can hurt their self-esteem if most of their friends are dating and they are not. Be kind and not dismissive if she is opening up to you. Ask questions and maybe lead her into discussions as to the type of boys she should be looking for. |
My kids have good genes. They are smart, good looking, athletic and smart. We are also social and nice people. I don’t know what to tell you. My high school son plays a lot of sports and hangs out with other kids who play a lot of sports, are smart and good looking. Not all of them are good looking but most of them are. I don’t think he seeks out good looking friends. They have been friends from elementary and then they added to the group in middle and high school. |
This. Hormones plus a lot of the focus of pop culture (songs, shows, movies) is on romantic love/physical love. It’s normal to want to date and experience this. The issue is to make sure the kid’s self-esteem isn’t all tied up with this one aspect of life. |