DD thinks she’s better than everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt that way all throughout high school about most kids. Honestly I ended up being right.

+1 this exactly!!!

[Anonymous]

I’d probably just laugh “yes and you’re the most humble too”

[Anonymous]

The thing is, if you’re convinced other people are boring, you will miss out on what’s interesting about them. It closes you off to the world. It hurts you more than them.

Talk to her about curiosity. What might she be missing? How might incuriosity diminish her experience in the world? How might a bit of curiosity enrich it? Challenge her to notice things about others: tiny interactions, little details that less astute observers might miss. Challenge her to pay attention, then notice how noticing feels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, if you’re convinced other people are boring, you will miss out on what’s interesting about them. It closes you off to the world. It hurts you more than them.

Talk to her about curiosity. What might she be missing? How might incuriosity diminish her experience in the world? How might a bit of curiosity enrich it? Challenge her to notice things about others: tiny interactions, little details that less astute observers might miss. Challenge her to pay attention, then notice how noticing feels.

Or just say you go girl!

[Anonymous]

Humility is a virtue, maybe she needs to learn this. And I’ll tell you that despite what you might think her peers pick up on this mentality, it’s not so easily hidden. Words alone don’t hide it.

[Anonymous]

Is she in sports? My very athletic children that play travel sports quickly learn that there is always someone better than you. Teaches humility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always had terrible self esteem. I wish I thought well of myself.

+1 My DD 15 is also like OP’s and although I know it’s not right I secretly like hearing her confidence come out. Wish I had an ounce of it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Humility is a virtue, maybe she needs to learn this. And I’ll tell you that despite what you might think her peers pick up on this mentality, it’s not so easily hidden. Words alone don’t hide it.

This. This can be tough with kids...girls in particular, in my experience. You want them to be confident, but humble. The best thing you can do is model humility and try to teach your children that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I always point out my kids' strengths, but I also let them know when they need to work on themselves. It seems like you need to talk to your daughter about that. Also, talking about how great you are, etc., is often actually a sign of insecurity. When she puts other people down, she's really just exposing her own insecurities. You should make sure she understands that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always had terrible self esteem. I wish I thought well of myself.

+1 My DD 15 is also like OP’s and although I know it’s not right I secretly like hearing her confidence come out. Wish I had an ounce of it!

Actually, this is often a sign of a lack of confidence/insecurity. The truly confident are humble. Your daughter, like you, lacks confidence.

[Anonymous]

Cut her down back to size with a well-placed insult.

E.g. "Larla has such disgusting eyebrows"
You "Yeah, she should go to the person who waxed your's" or "I wonder what Larla is saying to her mom about your flat a$$"

Your her mom, you will know what cuts her down

If you can't think of anything, "Wow, that was a really b----- thing to say"

If she wants to to engage in frat house talk, she can take it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut her down back to size with a well-placed insult.

E.g. "Larla has such disgusting eyebrows"
You "Yeah, she should go to the person who waxed your's" or "I wonder what Larla is saying to her mom about your flat a$$"

Your her mom, you will know what cuts her down

If you can't think of anything, "Wow, that was a really b----- thing to say"

If she wants to to engage in frat house talk, she can take it too.

This is psychotic advice. WTF is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD16 has recently developed a very smug, “I’m better than everyone” sort of attitude. She’s always been a polite kid and will act respectful toward people, but will tear apart their looks, personality, etc. in private. She has told me that she is better (smarter, funnier, etc) than the kids at her school. Even if she is, where is she learning that it’s okay to say that? I’ve always modeled kindness and empathy. I’ve tried bringing this up to her, but her only response was, “so what if it’s mean? It’s true!”

Without reading the rest of the responses, (1) this is a natural phase, (2) she's also imitating what she hears from other girls at school so don't villainize her as a mean girl, (3) just enjoy that she's even talking to you at all! Some parents would give anything to have their teens talk to them regularly, even if it's just to trash other kids at school. Heck, they would even join in just to have some connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut her down back to size with a well-placed insult.

E.g. "Larla has such disgusting eyebrows"
You "Yeah, she should go to the person who waxed your's" or "I wonder what Larla is saying to her mom about your flat a$$"

Your her mom, you will know what cuts her down

If you can't think of anything, "Wow, that was a really b----- thing to say"

If she wants to to engage in frat house talk, she can take it too.

stfu larla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I felt that way all throughout high school about most kids. Honestly I ended up being right.

+1

Pretty much this. But is she right, OP? Also, she can trash people to you but you should encourage her to consider any redeeming qualities these people might have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I felt that way all throughout high school about most kids. Honestly I ended up being right.

+1

Pretty much this. But is she right, OP? Also, she can trash people to you but you should encourage her to consider any redeeming qualities these people might have.

Seems like DD sees the worst in people…