How to address cheating?!

[Anonymous]

I think you can have a conversation on the boy bestie and how you noticed it has changed her dynamic with her current bf and if your daughter has noticed a difference.

My dd15 and I tend to talk like this on her long trips to practice and once a week we do a girl dinner. I am very open to mistakes and learning and showing the possible other perspectives she might be to immature to see. My DD has opened up a lot that way and looks for advice.

But otherwise that's about as far as it goes. Teens all make mistakes and have to learn to love with it. She might have to as well.

[Anonymous]

I'd say the biggest problem is that you are reading the text messages of your 17 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute - she’s 17 and you’re still reading her texts? And now you want to confront her with the information you got from said tests? And manage her relationship in your own way??

Lord almighty lady get a life.

Jesus. If you think monitoring your child’s activities and discussing their actions with them is “not having a life,” I can’t imagine how difficult your kids are.

At 17?? My daughter is leaving for college at 17. No way in hell I’m invading her privacy like that. And she’s an awesome and super easy kid.
If my daughter wants my input, she asks for it. But to confront my daughter with some info I gathered by literally spying on her? If you think that’s normal, then there’s no rational discussion to be had here.

Congrats on having a perfect kid. If you were in OP’s shoes, what would you do?

I wouldn't know about it because I wouldn't be reading the texts of a 17 yr old. When does that stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not really upset that she cheated- everyone makes mistakes and, as you said, relationships can look different for everyone. However, I want her to learn that it’s not okay to brag about doing something you know is wrong.

I wouldn't take her tone in the texts seriously. The bragging might be to mask some guilt and to encourage positive feedback. Who she is at 17 isn't who she will be, ask her how things are going with her boyfriend. She probably won't tell you, which is okay, but it means she doesn't want you disappointed. If she does tell you, try not to be judgmental and understand where she's at and guide her as a gentle voice of reason.