A lot of family visiting - logistics help
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Anonymous
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This is so outside the normal that I'd feel comfortable telling my own family: we didn't expect all of you to come at the same time and honestly I don't think hanging out at our house every day for 5 days is going to work--let's brainstorm some ideas for things to do to make this a worthwhile vacation for you.
Or use the PP's suggestions. If you meet any resistance, hold firm. Only complete idiots would fail to understand that it's a lot of work to host this many ppl for multiple days. |
Anonymous
This but I would tell all of them this! They are expecting you to be their host for a 5-6 day family reunion which you never offered or suggested. If they all were interested in doing DC vacation things on their own then great but no way when they’ll expect to be at your house being fed all the time. |
Anonymous
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Last summer my parents, siblings and siblings' spouses and kids all came to visit for a week. 7 days. 4 people stayed at our house and the rest stayed elsewhere but came over to our house every morning and spent all day every day with us. Never. Again. Even my kids were sick of having people here by the end, and they love seeing their cousins, aunts & uncles, and grandparents generally.
While I will never do such a thing again and even get kind of panicky thinking about it now, I do think some things we did made it more bearable than it would have otherwise been. 1) A few weeks before the "reunion" I sent an e-mail to everyone with meal plans for the week. Roughly, night 1 (arrival day): spouse and I provide dinner, night 2: sibling 1 and spouse are responsible for dinner, night 3: sibling 2 and spouse, night 4: parents, etc. For breakfast/lunch/snacks and misc items, I created a grocery list on anylist app and shared it w/ everyone so they could put whatever items they wanted on the list and then I sent a splitwise out where everyone contributed $ to the grocery bill. 2) In that same e-mail, I shared a list of ideas of outings/activities for the week with the plan that we would do 1 thing each day (museum, zoo, pool, hike in the woods, etc.) If someone wasn't up for an activity that the rest of the group was doing, obviously they could opt out and stay home/entertain themselves (i wasn't forcing anyone to go on these outings) but there were no days where we all just sat around the house all day. 3) Every afternoon I instituted a rest time for my kids/myself/my spouse where we basically locked ourselves in our rooms and had screen time or read a book or whatever for an hour or 2 and the rest of the group could do what they wanted. 4) Every night my kids and spouse and I went to bed a lot earlier than we do when people are not visiting and again, it was to have time alone, not necessarily actually go to bed early. 5) My kids didn't have to be there the whole time (if they got invited to a play date or wanted to go over to a neighbor's house last minute, I wasn't going to say "no, we have company" like I normally do when people visit). They needed breaks. 6) My spouse and I went out alone 2x. We had babysitters! Usually I feel like I have to be there all the time hosting but this week was different and we needed the breaks so felt no guilt taking them. |
Anonymous
My kid also survived cancer. Only DH and I went to his sixth grade promotion ceremony. Most of his friends only had immediate family there not every cousin and cousin’s cousin. |
Anonymous
Gals, I am talking about the kind of cancer survival where it’s on the fence whether the kid has any further graduations. If that’s not you, then it’s not about you. |
Anonymous
You’re just making up stories. OP hasn’t implied anything of the sort. |
Anonymous
Nope, but the folks insisting that all of this for ES graduation is “over the top” don’t have the backstory either. So we’re even. |
Anonymous
| Ask everyone to bring their families favorite game? Ask everyone to plan one dinner? Movie? Park? |
Anonymous
This. You suddenly all get "covid" or the flu or pink eye or whatever your ailment of choice is right before the "graduation". |
Anonymous
| Be honest as they may not be realizing just how many people this amounts to for you. Tell them “You have to help me manage these logistics. I don’t even have 13 chairs for you all to be at my house all day, every day!” State the meals you’ll have (keep it simple and economical) and keep a takeout menu ready. Borrow some backyard games and have a fire pit ready. Just sitting around might send them back to their hotels earlier. Otherwise, just enjoy their company and the fact they want to be a part of the day. |
Anonymous
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We had a similar situation.
Do not listen to other people here who are calling this ridiculous. Even if it is an elementary school graduation (or insert any other milestone), it’s awesome that you have people who would set aside time to be there. Here’s what we did: - we created an easy menu - breakfast was just pantry items - lunch and dinner options: make your own tacos, sandwiches, ordered pizza, premade lasagna trays - we also asked two people who had a signature dish make it - when folks arrived, we asked the helpful ones if they could help with a particular task (dishes, sweeping the floor, cooking, chopping, setting the table, etc). It’s also good to get tweens and teens involved by asking them to help capture memories and take photos - we also had a list of recommendations for restaurants and encouraged people to go on their own - we planned “walks” around the neighborhood to let people get out without the fuss and getting folks out the house and in a car - we had a game night, movie night - when needed, we excused our own family for a nap/quiet time in the afternoon (and many ppl followed suit) Have a blast OP. Look at it as an opportunity to create memories and bonds. Put a smile on that face and don’t let the debbie-downers here affect you. Yes, you will be tired but the effort is worth the end result. |
Anonymous
WTF. Dont do any of this insanity. |
Anonymous
| Plan a photo time too. Get everyone outside and posing for pics. All the cousins together, cousins with grandparents, parents with kids, etc. Just whip out the camera phones and aim to get that holiday card photo! |
Anonymous
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For Christmas 2014, we hosted a week long family reunion for 32 people. It was awesome and exhausting.
People came from all over the country for it. The occasion was to celebrate my MIL's 80th birthday. Her birthday is 2 days before Christmas, so of course all the family members wanted to stay for Christmas as well. The house was not big enough to have a birthday party for all 32 members of her immediate family, and friends and neighbors as well. So we ended up renting a knights of Columbus facility for Saturday for 60 or so people for her birthday party. Then came her actual birthday two days later, then came Christmas two days after that. Things that were helpful -- Designated parking for all the cars at the house and everyone informed in advance as to where to park. The driveway was to be used to loading and unloading only. We set up the carport into a visiting area. (This was in Georgia, so the weather was decent) Folding tables were set up, many patio chairs were set up in the carport. We set up a trash can and trash bags out there. We set up sodas, water, napkins in the carport. The visiting area in the carport thing helped a great deal in reducing traffic in the house. We made sure everyone had each other's phone numbers and knew where each was staying. I got $300 cash in small bills before it all started, and if anyone was "running into town" I gave them a grocery list and cash for whatever stuff we needed that we had not already purchased in advance. (Most people, of course, were happy to use their own money to pick up whatever was needed, but there were some college age people in the group). Different family members were in charge of dinner for everyone for each day. I typed up "The plan" for the whole week and mailed it to everyone in advance. Someone brought a couple board games. On my personal "to do" list, I wrote "have seven family squabbles". Then when the family squabbles inevitably happened, I just smiled to myself because now I could cross it off my "to do" list. Things that happened that I totally did not see coming -- Two different families came to the family reunion with their dogs! One person was sick and half the people there got sick from that one person. If I ever do something like that again I will totally get all the vaccines I can beforehand. |
Anonymous
This but I would steer clear of anything costs a lot. Plenty of free or low cost things to do (esp if you’re not sure if you’d be expected to cover costs) |