Teacher tells me five year old boy doesn't pay attention, might be ADD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a private school. Public schools teachers aren’t allowed to say this.

Not true, my son’s public school 2nd grade tried that on me. I have an older child with ADHD so I was 99% sure it was just boredom that was causing his inattentiveness.

They are allowed to describe specific observed behaviors (off task, can’t stay in seat, interrupts, etc) but can’t suggest a diagnosis. We are specially coached on this. Teachers saying what it “might be” are not following directions.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for your insight and recommendations. He goes to public school. The teacher is really great and experienced, and I trust her opinion. Basically if the teacher is giving a lesson, and the other kid are looking at her, he's off to the side playing with a truck. His soccer coach described him, affectionately, as having his head in the clouds, but a smile on his face. He is the oldest in his class so the fact that he sticks out makes me want to investigate. He definitely isn't hyperactive at all, just either inattentive or doesn't care to pretend to be attentive.

[Anonymous]

I think adhd is over diagnosed in boys frequently. Especially young ones. Are you noticing symptoms at home? Something else to note is that some boys thrive in all boys environments where the adhd label magically disappears. Co-Ed schools are often geared towards girls- they’re developmentally able to focus longer without breaks in early elementary years. One more point I will make as the mother of several kids who have undergone multiple neuropsych evals- you are paying professionals thousands to find problems with your child. They will find something, that is their job. I’m not saying they are all inaccurate but there is a lot of research on how the methodology for neuropsych testing is flawed, particularly for adhd testing. Just something to keep in mind.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's just one data point. What are your other data points telling you? How does he compare to his peers when you see him in other settings? There are lots of online screening quizzes - take one, but take that with a grain of salt too, because screeners over identify. But then you know what areas to keep an eye on.

If it's not affecting his learning or his behavior, then there's not much to do anyway. Before my kid was diagnosed I learned that she needed a lot of structure - checklists for bedtime routines and cleaning her room, saying her name before giving instructions and have her repeat them back for me (Larla, you need to brush your teeth and put on your shoes - what 2 things do you need to do?). These are good strategies for any kid, but having him learn ways to focus and remember things now could be important later.

[Anonymous]

Do you not see it at home?

Can he follow multiple step directions? Can he focus on listening to a book?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you not see it at home?

Can he follow multiple step directions? Can he focus on listening to a book?

Yes, he can focus on a book. He isn't hyperactive at all, just inattentive, like she will be telling the class something and he's off doing his own thing. It's the same with soccer. He sticks out like a sore thumb because he's laying down or playing in the dirt, not listening.
The teacher wants to meet and discuss this today. So it hasn't gotten better. Let's say he is ADD, what do I do? Get him diagnosed and give him meds? Seems so young to be giving meds. I am still weary of the add diagnosis places because I feel like any five year old boy that goes in they will say has ADD.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you shouldn’t leap to medicate (and I do medicate my ADHD kid) but it’s not medication or nothing. You can learn more about it and use some of the parenting strategies for kids with inattentive ADHD even if you don’t have the diagnosis. For example, kids with ADHD often hyper focus on preferred activities and/or have time blindness, and there are ways to combat that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not see it at home?

Can he follow multiple step directions? Can he focus on listening to a book?

Yes, he can focus on a book. He isn't hyperactive at all, just inattentive, like she will be telling the class something and he's off doing his own thing. It's the same with soccer. He sticks out like a sore thumb because he's laying down or playing in the dirt, not listening.
The teacher wants to meet and discuss this today. So it hasn't gotten better. Let's say he is ADD, what do I do? Get him diagnosed and give him meds? Seems so young to be giving meds. I am still weary of the add diagnosis places because I feel like any five year old boy that goes in they will say has ADD.

School is almost out so you have the whole summer between TK and K to work on school appropriate behavior. If he turned 5 last Sept, then he is on the older side of the class. His teacher was comparing his behavior to younger boys in class, I wouldn't brush it off as just your son being young. He will be among the oldest again and maybe with any luck there will be much younger boys with worse behavior so the new teacher won't compare him so unfavorably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not see it at home?

Can he follow multiple step directions? Can he focus on listening to a book?

Yes, he can focus on a book. He isn't hyperactive at all, just inattentive, like she will be telling the class something and he's off doing his own thing. It's the same with soccer. He sticks out like a sore thumb because he's laying down or playing in the dirt, not listening.
The teacher wants to meet and discuss this today. So it hasn't gotten better. Let's say he is ADD, what do I do? Get him diagnosed and give him meds? Seems so young to be giving meds. I am still weary of the add diagnosis places because I feel like any five year old boy that goes in they will say has ADD.

School is almost out so you have the whole summer between TK and K to work on school appropriate behavior. If he turned 5 last Sept, then he is on the older side of the class. His teacher was comparing his behavior to younger boys in class, I wouldn't brush it off as just your son being young. He will be among the oldest again and maybe with any luck there will be much younger boys with worse behavior so the new teacher won't compare him so unfavorably.

What can I do to work on his behavior? I guess I will get some books but most seem to be geared towards the hyperactive side. He seems the opposite of hyperactive, almost lazy.

[Anonymous]

Due to my adhd and DD’s anxiety / extreme outbursts we started down this road with her in preschool. We already suspected problems and her teacher flagged some trouble. It took 6 months to see a developmental ped who then recommended OT. It turns out one of her problems is low muscle tone and grip strength which affects sitting still and concentrating as well as the ability to do things like use a pencil or color inside the lines or use scissors. We had no idea that there were physical aspects to her challenges. (We’d tested her hearing multiple times and she had speech therapy when she was younger as well.)

The developmental ped didn’t see ADHD (just anxiety) and at age 6 referred us to a psychiatrist. After a few months working with her, and based on evaluations from teachers and us, diagnosed her with ADHD. It didn’t change anything for us as that’s what we assumed all along.

She’s not currently struggling academically (she does have a tendency to either space out or have outbursts that affect her socially) so the doctor suggested, given the end of the year, we don’t medicate now and revisit it next year when she’ll be older, in a different social setting etc. In the meantime she wants to start martial arts and we all think that would be good for exercise and regulation.

Long story short, the process of diagnostics can take years (it was first flagged for us 3.5 years before diagnosis) and even then it’s just information - you don’t have to medicate or make other changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Report her. She's not qualified to make a diagnosis. Also, consider putting him in another TK class.

Report a teacher who cared enough about a child’s wellbeing to speak up? Would you rather that he or she did not say anything based on years of experience with children this age? Early diagnosis can make a world of difference not only in educational outcomes but in terms of self-esteem. Lack thereof can lead to depression and substance abuse down the line. Years and years of being called out or even punished for misbehavior in school leaves kids feeling like garbage. Your suggestion to “report “ a professional trying to give a parent an early clue about how their child is behaving is just awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not see it at home?

Can he follow multiple step directions? Can he focus on listening to a book?

Yes, he can focus on a book. He isn't hyperactive at all, just inattentive, like she will be telling the class something and he's off doing his own thing. It's the same with soccer. He sticks out like a sore thumb because he's laying down or playing in the dirt, not listening.
The teacher wants to meet and discuss this today. So it hasn't gotten better. Let's say he is ADD, what do I do? Get him diagnosed and give him meds? Seems so young to be giving meds. I am still weary of the add diagnosis places because I feel like any five year old boy that goes in they will say has ADD.

Teacher here and most five-year-old boys don’t exhibit that behavior. It’s true that some do and it’s not unusual. But it does indicate a need for evaluation for inattentive ADD. You can save him SO much heartache by addressing this early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Report her. She's not qualified to make a diagnosis. Also, consider putting him in another TK class.

You are definitely my least favorite kind of parent. Something doesn’t go your way, transfer kid, get teacher that doesn’t make much in trouble as well? Ugh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Opposing opinion here. Our child’s 2nd grade teacher said something similar to us. Considering she has far more experience with children’s’ behaviors than we do, we took our child to two different offices to be evaluated. Sure enough, it led to therapy and a much better path through school than we would have experienced otherwise.

I agree about paying attention to what the teacher is observing. So many parents complain that teachers never gave them a clue that a problem/issue existed. Consider it a gift that you got such important and useful feedback.

BS.

NP. Defensive and angry, that’s a good approach to life.

You’re not np and you don’t like that I called it what it is on your bs.

I was a NP, and you and some others are bananas. The teacher is likely genuinely merely trying to help. Keep your heads in the sand, it’s a great and mature approach.

plus 1. The teachers are around the kids all day. Some of these parents, don’t like the answer so they want to cry and whine about who gave them the information

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you not see it at home?

Can he follow multiple step directions? Can he focus on listening to a book?

Settings change behavior. Sometimes you don't realize how much you are naturally propping up an inattentive kid at home. It falls apart when you aren't around.