
If you have been to marriage counseling for a few months, but don't feel it is helping you, would it be perceived that you are not trying to work on the marriage if you quit. The problem is it makes me feel even more upset, and is making the situation worse for me. The holidays kind of got in the way with scheduling, but I really don;t want to resume it. The counselor doesn;t think hubby would listen if he went by himself, but what no one seems to understand is that it is devastating me. Can marriages survive crises without counseling? Just curious what people's thoughts are. |
My husband and I have survived an affair without counseling. It can be done, as long as both people are willing to work on themselves and the marriage. Both of us fully committed to putting the few pieces of ourselves back together and giving 200% to each other. It took about two years... it's rough. I actually think counseling is great, but it was always so hard to find childcare, etc. We worked through some marriage books and self-examining books, but the thing that worked the most (for us) was just open and honest communication and letting our guard down to let the other one back in. It is hard, but you can doit. As long as you're both in it and FULLY committed to try and make things work. Good luck. You sound so sad ![]() |
Marital counseling can be great. However - it depends on the therapist. Our first one was awful and made things worse. Our second one is awesome. Just keep shopping around until you find one that works. OR - you can always wait and see how you do on your own. I waited for a couple of years before going to marital counseling...but the issues got to me and so in came the counseling. |
I would have to agree with the shopping around idea..
It is very hard to find the right counselor.. Some tend to feed off of you and hardly say a thing but nod.. I prefer the ones that engage and offer solutions that you could try out. I am at the moment looking for a good counsellor so if anyone out there knows of one.. Pls help me get intouch with them.. thanks and good luck |
To the PP looking for counselor recs: Where do you live and what type of counseling (individual, couples, family, etc)? |
I'm my experience, you have to go through a bad period - when you're both setting out your problems and concerns - because you can start the real work to fix whatever has brought you to counseling. I was pretty upset for almost 2 months (crying at most sessions). Then we just got to a point where we hit a breakthrough of understanding each other and starting work on things rather than complain about things. |
I am in Silver Spring and looking for individual counselor. thank you |
To the PP in Silver Spring:
I don't know any therapists in Silver Spring, but I know several resources in Friendship Heights, DC. There is a practice headed by David Jobes, Ph.D. in that is full of great psychologists, some of whom accept insurance (I am not sure of contact info, but google him and you will find it - he is also a professor of clinical psychology at Catholic University). Also, there is the Washington School of Psychiatry - they have many therapists (some in training and some professional) and operate on a sliding scale (in case you do not have insurance). Lastly, Wake-Kendall (you can find on the web) has many therapists, and I have heard many good things about their practice. Good Luck! PS If you do have insurance, call your provider and request a list of covered counselors - then post that list here and people can give you feedback. This is a good way to find someone who will be covered by your insurance...and therefore more affordable. |
Dr. Elizabeth Maury is an excellent psychologist in Silver Spring. Don't have her number on me but can get it if you're interested and can't find it elsewhere. |
pp thanks i will wait for your post..
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