Where did my ambition go?
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Anonymous
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My boss approached me about an upcoming job opening and asked if I wanted to be considered. The job is senior to mine -- more responsibility, more money. But with that comes more time, more stress. Without even taking a minute to think about it, I declined. And I was honest with her. I just have so much going on right now, being mom to a 1-year-old and 5-year-old. I'm always pressed for time. She's a mom, so she gets it.
At the same time, I wonder... Should I have just sucked it up and asked to be considered? Why didn't I jump at the chance? Are the higher-ups not even going to consider me for future positions because of what I said? Have a sabotaged myself? Sure, we could use the money, but we're doing OK. I just worry that I've committed career suicide. Anyone else experience this? Thanks. |
Anonymous
| What are your life goals? Do you have a great passion for your work? Or for your kids? Or both? Focus on that and go from there. |
Anonymous
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Yup, I'm coasting right now. I figure I'll step it up again at some point once the kiddos are a bit older, or look for a new job where I can do the same.
It probably wouldn't hurt though to have a discussion with your boss (now, or at performance reviews or something) clarifying that while the opportunity was not right for you at the present time, you hope that she won't interpret that to mean you wouldn't be interested in similar opportunities in the future, you're very much invested in your career at X company, yada yada yada. |
Anonymous
| see other thread about the "Why Women Still Can't Have It All" article by Anne Marie Slaughter. |
Anonymous
This is a good idea. Sit down with your boss and explain why you said no and why you won't always say no when you are considered in the future. If she is also a mom, she should understand and she can hopefully present your decision to the higher-ups in such a way that puts you in the running for future considerations. |
Anonymous
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You ambition is not gone. It has just changed.
You can be ambitious about more than just your job and career. You can be ambitious about your life, motherhood, being happy ....... |
Anonymous
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It's okay to mother your children.
It's okay to want to spend more time with your family and less time at home. It's okay to be content. You don't always have to want MORE. In fact if you always are thinking about MORE, when do you have time to be happy? It's okay to be ambitious about things besides a career. |
Anonymous
| Just letting you know you are not alone...fellow coaster here. |
Anonymous
This is how I am.... |
Anonymous
| I'm looking forward to listening to this today: http://www.npr.org/2012/06/21/155498926/the-impossible-juggling-act-motherhood-and-work |
Anonymous
| Another coaster here with college GPA 4.0 yada yada |
Anonymous
It's often the mom bosses who are the worst, because they have sacrificed things at home to get to where they are. If you are not willing to, she might look for someone else who is. That said, your priorities are your priorities. No regrets. |
Anonymous
Oooh, I am looking forward to this too. Thx for sharing. |
Anonymous
| In a similar boat and planning to speak to my boss tomorrow about how I'd like to travel more if opportunities present themselves. I agree with the comment about women bosses - women are always harder on other women. |
Anonymous
This. I felt a powerful urge to change the focus of my energy from my job/career, which I enjoy but was never passionate about, to my kids. I'm still a good employee. I get promotions. I get interesting work. But I'm stalled out for now. That's fine. Because I'm passionate and focusing on being a mom. I'm sure things will switch up as they grow older. And perhaps again. It's all good. I'm happy with how things are. If you "aren't" happy, then reexamine what you are doing in regard to your career. Otherwise, just enjoy. |