I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ability to delay having children, and society’s acceptance of that, has been nothing short of a revolution for women. It’s something that previous generations could only dream of.

[phone]

This can be true and it can also be true that if you want to have children safely and easily that it would be ideal to start the process in your 20s.

I don't think any woman should be pressured into having a child. But if you know you want one then get on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ability to delay having children, and society’s acceptance of that, has been nothing short of a revolution for women. It’s something that previous generations could only dream of.

[phone]

This can be true and it can also be true that if you want to have children safely and easily that it would be ideal to start the process in your 20s.

I don't think any woman should be pressured into having a child. But if you know you want one then get on it.

If you don't think women should be pressured into having children, then please don't lay out generalized claims about safety and encourage women to "get on it." The reality is that many women do not have safe and affordable access to healthcare. A disproportionate number of women of color face higher risk pregnancies and deliveries at any age.

Let's shift the conversation to ways of improving healthcare so all women can actually receive support for their decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you have young kids now and feel you are old and busted, you want all of society to avoid your mistake? There is something seriously wrong with your thinking. I definitely don’t want my DD having kids until she gets to enjoy her own life first.

Yeah but if everyone does this, then no one gets to know their grandkids and vice versa. And lots of adults in their 40s-50's end up losing their parents - my own parents were in their 60's when their parents started dying. You have to wonder whether it's worth the trade off. Isn't it really family and relationships that life is all about?

I dunno, people are living longer these days and are healthier at older ages. Some people suggest the healthiest boomers could potentially live up to 120. My dad in particular is freaking out about saving enough for retirement because his grandmother lived until 100 between those genes, modern medicine and his pretty healthy, active lifestyle, he'll probably live for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If "nature" didn't want women to have children later in life then menopause would start in the 30s. I got pregnant within 2 months of trying at age 36, 38 and 40.

Before birth control existed and people had massive families (average 11-14), often women would get pregnant through their late 30s and early-mid 40s. Literally from age like 16-44 you would be popping out babies with like 1/3rd of them dying, if you didn't die from childbirth in the process. Sounds extremely depressing: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7983101

[Anonymous]

Adopted all 3 of my kids in my forties and never worried about this sh*t! (had a termination in my 20s --- had zero interest in kids then)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I hope you support paid family leave and universal affordable childcare, and candidates that push for those policies.[/b]

I do, but in the past, everyone started having kids in their early 20's and none of these things existed.

more people could afford to live on one income and had family close by. people also used to get a job in a factory and support a wife and 4 kids on one salary and have a job for life. Those days are OVER

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you have young kids now and feel you are old and busted, you want all of society to avoid your mistake? There is something seriously wrong with your thinking. I definitely don’t want my DD having kids until she gets to enjoy her own life first.

Yeah but if everyone does this, then no one gets to know their grandkids and vice versa. And lots of adults in their 40s-50's end up losing their parents - my own parents were in their 60's when their parents started dying. You have to wonder whether it's worth the trade off. Isn't it really family and relationships that life is all about?

I dunno, people are living longer these days and are healthier at older ages. Some people suggest the healthiest boomers could potentially live up to 120. My dad in particular is freaking out about saving enough for retirement because his grandmother lived until 100 between those genes, modern medicine and his pretty healthy, active lifestyle, he'll probably live for a while.

Yeah — I’m not seeing that. I’m seeing people in their 40’s and 50’s dropping like flies from terrible cancers . Our environment is filled with carcinogenic crap thanks to capitalism and I don’t see this abating anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Every person who reproduces, men too, in their forties actively and willfully ignores the health risks and repercussions (mother and child) of doing so. As does every woman over the age of 35 who gets pregnant. That doesn’t mean they aren’t going to do it, it just requires a very special type of arrogance to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you have young kids now and feel you are old and busted, you want all of society to avoid your mistake? There is something seriously wrong with your thinking. I definitely don’t want my DD having kids until she gets to enjoy her own life first.

Yeah but if everyone does this, then no one gets to know their grandkids and vice versa. And lots of adults in their 40s-50's end up losing their parents - my own parents were in their 60's when their parents started dying. You have to wonder whether it's worth the trade off. Isn't it really family and relationships that life is all about?

I dunno, people are living longer these days and are healthier at older ages. Some people suggest the healthiest boomers could potentially live up to 120. My dad in particular is freaking out about saving enough for retirement because his grandmother lived until 100 between those genes, modern medicine and his pretty healthy, active lifestyle, he'll probably live for a while.

Yeah — I’m not seeing that. I’m seeing people in their 40’s and 50’s dropping like flies from terrible cancers . Our environment is filled with carcinogenic crap thanks to capitalism and I don’t see this abating anytime soon.

Well, if that’s the case, why on earth are you bringing kids into such a sh*tty world? That seems the height of selfishness. Definitely not a reason to have kids earlier, since according to you their parents will be dying when the kids are in their 20s/30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every person who reproduces, men too, in their forties actively and willfully ignores the health risks and repercussions (mother and child) of doing so. As does every woman over the age of 35 who gets pregnant. That doesn’t mean they aren’t going to do it, it just requires a very special type of arrogance to do so.

Glad you got that out of your system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every person who reproduces, men too, in their forties actively and willfully ignores the health risks and repercussions (mother and child) of doing so. As does every woman over the age of 35 who gets pregnant. That doesn’t mean they aren’t going to do it, it just requires a very special type of arrogance to do so.

Sorry you had your kids in you twenties and missed out on a bunch of fun. But excuse me while I have my cake and eat it too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every person who reproduces, men too, in their forties actively and willfully ignores the health risks and repercussions (mother and child) of doing so. As does every woman over the age of 35 who gets pregnant. That doesn’t mean they aren’t going to do it, it just requires a very special type of arrogance to do so.

Sorry you had your kids in you twenties and missed out on a bunch of fun. But excuse me while I have my cake and eat it too!

+1. And Miss High and Mighty is suggesting that people who have kids after 35(!) are “arrogant” ? Self awareness much? I assume that some young guy who didn’t know any better married her at 24 and knocked her up at 25, and now she thinks that she’s superior because of this. It’s not exactly a huge personal accomplishment, so get over yourself, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had them when I was in my late 20s with all the energy to do it all.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you support paid family leave and universal affordable childcare, and candidates that push for those policies.

This. We make childbearing very difficult on working women. If we’re not careful we’ll end up like Japan, where the birthdate isn’t enough to replace the aging population.

There needs to be a balance. The Dutch are great with supporting families. So good that few mother’s of young children work FT. Which is fine I guess if you are sure your DH will support you for the rest of your life. But if you want to ensure you have a decent independent income and retirement, you need to work for decades FT, not 5 years before kids and ten after the next is empty.

[Anonymous]

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