Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

this thread isn't isolated, the same theme comes up constantly on DCUM; parents whining that they can't use their kids to make a new social circle

No one in this thread wants to "make a new social circle" with parents at school.

People just think it's weird to ignore and refuse to even meet and learn the name of a person you see on a regular basis for many months or years. I agree this is deranged.

I will continue to introduce myself and strike up short conversations with parents who I see regularly in order to get to know the parents in our school and activity communities because I think it is strange and depressing not to do so. If you hate this, maybe home school and put your kid in private 1:1 classes so your family can completely isolate itself? I'm not going to alter my behavior.

You do you. Nobody has to accommodate your advances or reciprocate. If this is happening over and over to you, maybe you're giving off some weird desperate vibes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

They may "one day need to rely on..." is a bit odd here. That would never be why I introduce myself or make casual conversation. What do you need them for exactly?

I just view it as useful to have communication lines open in case parents have to coordinate for any reason. For instance in the last year there have been things like a school lockdown due to a last minute shooting, a sudden change in required uniform for a school event, and other minor but annoying things that were made easier because I know a few parents at the school casually and can communicate with them easily. I don't socialize with any of these parents because I have plenty of friends already, but I'm always glad when something random pops up related to my kid's school or activities and because there is some community among the parents it can be resolved easily.

IME public schools and a lot of kid activities have poor communication and weak administration. So knowing other families even just a little bit can make it so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

this thread isn't isolated, the same theme comes up constantly on DCUM; parents whining that they can't use their kids to make a new social circle

No one in this thread wants to "make a new social circle" with parents at school.

People just think it's weird to ignore and refuse to even meet and learn the name of a person you see on a regular basis for many months or years. I agree this is deranged.

I will continue to introduce myself and strike up short conversations with parents who I see regularly in order to get to know the parents in our school and activity communities because I think it is strange and depressing not to do so. If you hate this, maybe home school and put your kid in private 1:1 classes so your family can completely isolate itself? I'm not going to alter my behavior.

You do you. Nobody has to accommodate your advances or reciprocate. If this is happening over and over to you, maybe you're giving off some weird desperate vibes.

I truly have no idea how you function in life refusing to exchange pleasantries with other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an introvert and he would never behave as some people here describe. It's an excuse. Introversion has become this out for people to just act boorishly. Dear introverts, no one cares. Engage in basic human interactions and if you can't manage, stay home.

Respectfully, get it through your thick skull: You are not entitled to be my new friend. You are not entitled to small talk. You are not entitled to a darn thing. You are literally a freaking stranger. Wow just wow at the psychotic delusions of grandeur on here.

Honestly this all sounds like an echo chamber of creepy men in the office who won't take no for answer from a disinterested female colleague. Keep pushing and pushing and get it in your head that you all are perfect for each other and have so much in common. And then she's a b-word because she avoids your delusional behind or turns you into HR when you won't let up.

DP. Ok, first, saying "respectfully" and then using the term "thick skull" is oxymoronic.

Second, no one wants to be your new friend. This thread specifically noted that the OP is not looking for new friends or trying to establish they are "perfect" for someone. Perhaps get it through your "thick skull" that talking to someone in a public space with our kids in order to contribute to a friendly and supportive environment for out kids is not an overture to be BFFs. It's entirely likely I will leave the conversation and not think about you at all other than maybe having a pleasant general impression of you and your family.

And third, have you asked yourself why you view having pleasant, mild interactions with people you see regularly at your kids school (they can be short, they don't have to involve small talk) is such an imposition for you? We're talking about simply having the ability to exchange a quick wave or smile, or exchange to sentences, with people you see nearly daily for years. You made the comparison to work. Yes, a man hitting on you at work every day would be really inappropriate. But I want you to imagine that you had a colleague you worked with for years who refused to make eye contact or even acknowledge your existence when you passed each other in the hall or wound up sitting next to each other while waiting for a meeting to start.

No one wants to be your new boyfriend. No one. We are just trying to make the experience of being parents with minor children mildly less alienating and awkward, by having basic social skills and not greeting everyone we see with hostile stares.

It's perfectly natural for people to have their guard up. You, after all, are a random total stranger.

Question for yappers like yourself: Why can't you just not compulsively yap at total strangers? Why can't you just enjoy whatever event you're at with your spouse and kid without socially elbowing others? Why don't you know anyone at your kid's school? That in itself is a little weird and that's likely why strangers are skittish. I don't think just because we're randomly 1 of 1,000 on up to 1 of 4,000+ (depending on enrollment size) moms and dads with a child in the same school means I'm obligated to talk with you or associate with you in any way. It's as silly as thinking you're entitled to small talk with random shoppers at a Nordstrom because you're both at the same store. It's pushy and weird.

A parent of a child in your kid's class or in the same after school activity is, by definition, NOT a random total stranger.

That seems to be the disconnect here. My feeling is "oh, I see this person every day/week at pick up and it's weird we don't acknowledge each other -- I will introduce myself and then greet and exchange a few words with this person because otherwise it's kind of weird." Your feeling is "WHY would this totally random person try to talk to me?! They should leave me alone, how dare they burden me int his way?"

I truly don't get your response. I'm not asking you to coffee or dinner, asking about your personal or family life (or job or house or anything personal because I truly don't care). I am, at most, asking a few questions like "oh how long has Larla been doing gymnastics?" or similar. I'm talking two minutes, tops, of interaction and just putting a name with a face. And this is seen, bizarrely in my opinion, as "needy" or invasive. This is so strange to me. I just don't want to spend months or years standing next to a person I recognize and whose kid is classmate/teammate/even friends with my kid, without creating a very baseline level of communication.

Respectfully disagree. Issue is you scorned whiners refuse to look at this from other parents’ POV: To them, you are in fact are a pushy total stranger trying to yap, ask invasive questions, and orbit me and my husband. It’s not rude or offensive that they simply don’t want to engage with you. This is especially true at public schools which pull in 500+ to 2,000+ random non-vetted families from all over the region - including scammer parents committing residency fraud.

These PPs make me sad for humanity. So glad my public elementary school has a sense of community and friendly parents (at least a good chunk) and not a view that people are random and maybe even scammers.

Not only is it sad, but it’s shortsighted and unwise.

In life, you want as large of a network as possible, especially if you have a career. Countless people have lost their jobs in the last year or two, and you want to be able to reach out to as many people as possible. You almost always get a job through someone you know. If you run in successful circles, there is typically some overlap between your work and personal networks. If you were to go to a school event with a well known CEO or senior leader, you can guarantee they will chit chat with others and be open to communicating. It’s simply how you have to behave to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

This actually explains a lot. Professionally successful people are friendly and outgoing. I can see a government worker not being able to get alone with or see any value in other people, which is why they struggle to find new jobs post DOGE.

Successful people don't worry about finding a community at school to help them. They have enough money to pay for whatever support they need outside of school. They are self reliant and can throw money at problems.

This isn’t true at all, especially at NYC privates. It’s very social and parents want to know each other.

[Anonymous]

My guess is it’s your standard MC / UMC mom who dropped out of the workforce and lost the ability to socialize and communicate with people she doesn’t know. She thinks she doesn’t need to know you, and her world is a lot smaller so she keeps to herself. These women aren’t successful and can’t figure out why.

[Anonymous]

OP, does this school have more middle / UMC moms? If so, this is how they often behave. It’s mostly insecurity and lack of intelligence. I can attend a school event and barely anyone talks to me. But then I can go to some sort of fundraiser with very wealthy women and they are incredibly friendly and outgoing. It’s simply a class distinction.

[Anonymous]

Makes me sad for their child(ren)…I hope the cold unfriendliness doesn’t extend to them. IME, the weirdo jerk parents have some really bright and kind kids…its a really strange phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, does this school have more middle / UMC moms? If so, this is how they often behave. It’s mostly insecurity and lack of intelligence. I can attend a school event and barely anyone talks to me. But then I can go to some sort of fundraiser with very wealthy women and they are incredibly friendly and outgoing. It’s simply a class distinction.

My kids are in DCPS and I don’t know any moms who act like this. Not even close. Yet, the very wealthy are often the ones who act like this towards people who are less affluent. Nothing makes sense about this comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

this thread isn't isolated, the same theme comes up constantly on DCUM; parents whining that they can't use their kids to make a new social circle

No one in this thread wants to "make a new social circle" with parents at school.

People just think it's weird to ignore and refuse to even meet and learn the name of a person you see on a regular basis for many months or years. I agree this is deranged.

I will continue to introduce myself and strike up short conversations with parents who I see regularly in order to get to know the parents in our school and activity communities because I think it is strange and depressing not to do so. If you hate this, maybe home school and put your kid in private 1:1 classes so your family can completely isolate itself? I'm not going to alter my behavior.

You do you. Nobody has to accommodate your advances or reciprocate. If this is happening over and over to you, maybe you're giving off some weird desperate vibes.

I truly have no idea how you function in life refusing to exchange pleasantries with other people.

This, right here, is the problem: many of us DO “exchange pleasantries.” But then…you keep going. Asking. Pushing. You’re nosy. You’re still going.

You know when you have a chatter next to you in an airplane who won’t stop even when you pull out a book or a magazine? That’s you, PP. Come on now, there is a point well beyond “exchanging pleasantries.” Read the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

this thread isn't isolated, the same theme comes up constantly on DCUM; parents whining that they can't use their kids to make a new social circle

No one in this thread wants to "make a new social circle" with parents at school.

People just think it's weird to ignore and refuse to even meet and learn the name of a person you see on a regular basis for many months or years. I agree this is deranged.

I will continue to introduce myself and strike up short conversations with parents who I see regularly in order to get to know the parents in our school and activity communities because I think it is strange and depressing not to do so. If you hate this, maybe home school and put your kid in private 1:1 classes so your family can completely isolate itself? I'm not going to alter my behavior.

You do you. Nobody has to accommodate your advances or reciprocate. If this is happening over and over to you, maybe you're giving off some weird desperate vibes.

I truly have no idea how you function in life refusing to exchange pleasantries with other people.

This, right here, is the problem: many of us DO “exchange pleasantries.” But then…you keep going. Asking. Pushing. You’re nosy. You’re still going.

You know when you have a chatter next to you in an airplane who won’t stop even when you pull out a book or a magazine? That’s you, PP. Come on now, there is a point well beyond “exchanging pleasantries.” Read the room.

+1. They're all so in denial about how nosy, pushy, and abrasive they are. Ma'am you're in your 40s or 50s, if everyone is icing you, it's a YOU problem, not everyone else's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, does this school have more middle / UMC moms? If so, this is how they often behave. It’s mostly insecurity and lack of intelligence. I can attend a school event and barely anyone talks to me. But then I can go to some sort of fundraiser with very wealthy women and they are incredibly friendly and outgoing. It’s simply a class distinction.

My kids are in DCPS and I don’t know any moms who act like this. Not even close. Yet, the very wealthy are often the ones who act like this towards people who are less affluent. Nothing makes sense about this comment.

+1
Actually, MC parents seem way more normal about this stuff than UMC parents, but wealthy people can be snobby and/or anxious. Maybe they are nice to each other, but they can be weirdos to the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an introvert and he would never behave as some people here describe. It's an excuse. Introversion has become this out for people to just act boorishly. Dear introverts, no one cares. Engage in basic human interactions and if you can't manage, stay home.

Respectfully, get it through your thick skull: You are not entitled to be my new friend. You are not entitled to small talk. You are not entitled to a darn thing. You are literally a freaking stranger. Wow just wow at the psychotic delusions of grandeur on here.

Honestly this all sounds like an echo chamber of creepy men in the office who won't take no for answer from a disinterested female colleague. Keep pushing and pushing and get it in your head that you all are perfect for each other and have so much in common. And then she's a b-word because she avoids your delusional behind or turns you into HR when you won't let up.

DP. Ok, first, saying "respectfully" and then using the term "thick skull" is oxymoronic.

Second, no one wants to be your new friend. This thread specifically noted that the OP is not looking for new friends or trying to establish they are "perfect" for someone. Perhaps get it through your "thick skull" that talking to someone in a public space with our kids in order to contribute to a friendly and supportive environment for out kids is not an overture to be BFFs. It's entirely likely I will leave the conversation and not think about you at all other than maybe having a pleasant general impression of you and your family.

And third, have you asked yourself why you view having pleasant, mild interactions with people you see regularly at your kids school (they can be short, they don't have to involve small talk) is such an imposition for you? We're talking about simply having the ability to exchange a quick wave or smile, or exchange to sentences, with people you see nearly daily for years. You made the comparison to work. Yes, a man hitting on you at work every day would be really inappropriate. But I want you to imagine that you had a colleague you worked with for years who refused to make eye contact or even acknowledge your existence when you passed each other in the hall or wound up sitting next to each other while waiting for a meeting to start.

No one wants to be your new boyfriend. No one. We are just trying to make the experience of being parents with minor children mildly less alienating and awkward, by having basic social skills and not greeting everyone we see with hostile stares.

It's perfectly natural for people to have their guard up. You, after all, are a random total stranger.

Question for yappers like yourself: Why can't you just not compulsively yap at total strangers? Why can't you just enjoy whatever event you're at with your spouse and kid without socially elbowing others? Why don't you know anyone at your kid's school? That in itself is a little weird and that's likely why strangers are skittish. I don't think just because we're randomly 1 of 1,000 on up to 1 of 4,000+ (depending on enrollment size) moms and dads with a child in the same school means I'm obligated to talk with you or associate with you in any way. It's as silly as thinking you're entitled to small talk with random shoppers at a Nordstrom because you're both at the same store. It's pushy and weird.

A parent of a child in your kid's class or in the same after school activity is, by definition, NOT a random total stranger.

That seems to be the disconnect here. My feeling is "oh, I see this person every day/week at pick up and it's weird we don't acknowledge each other -- I will introduce myself and then greet and exchange a few words with this person because otherwise it's kind of weird." Your feeling is "WHY would this totally random person try to talk to me?! They should leave me alone, how dare they burden me int his way?"

I truly don't get your response. I'm not asking you to coffee or dinner, asking about your personal or family life (or job or house or anything personal because I truly don't care). I am, at most, asking a few questions like "oh how long has Larla been doing gymnastics?" or similar. I'm talking two minutes, tops, of interaction and just putting a name with a face. And this is seen, bizarrely in my opinion, as "needy" or invasive. This is so strange to me. I just don't want to spend months or years standing next to a person I recognize and whose kid is classmate/teammate/even friends with my kid, without creating a very baseline level of communication.

Respectfully disagree. Issue is you scorned whiners refuse to look at this from other parents’ POV: To them, you are in fact are a pushy total stranger trying to yap, ask invasive questions, and orbit me and my husband. It’s not rude or offensive that they simply don’t want to engage with you. This is especially true at public schools which pull in 500+ to 2,000+ random non-vetted families from all over the region - including scammer parents committing residency fraud.

These PPs make me sad for humanity. So glad my public elementary school has a sense of community and friendly parents (at least a good chunk) and not a view that people are random and maybe even scammers.

Not only is it sad, but it’s shortsighted and unwise.

In life, you want as large of a network as possible, especially if you have a career. Countless people have lost their jobs in the last year or two, and you want to be able to reach out to as many people as possible. You almost always get a job through someone you know. If you run in successful circles, there is typically some overlap between your work and personal networks. If you were to go to a school event with a well known CEO or senior leader, you can guarantee they will chit chat with others and be open to communicating. It’s simply how you have to behave to be successful.

On what planet do you live on that the random "CEO" you had brief small talk with at a school event is handing your unemployed ass a job? This thread is reaching new levels of delusion. Not to mention you're inadvertently confessing being so pushy and desperate is an attempt to SOCIAL CLIMB. You strivers want to orbit successful parents to "network" and broaden your "community" to ... get access to jobs when you're laid off. You shysters are trying to curate a higher status network for you and your kids and then whining that you're getting iced by parents who see right through you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an introvert and he would never behave as some people here describe. It's an excuse. Introversion has become this out for people to just act boorishly. Dear introverts, no one cares. Engage in basic human interactions and if you can't manage, stay home.

Respectfully, get it through your thick skull: You are not entitled to be my new friend. You are not entitled to small talk. You are not entitled to a darn thing. You are literally a freaking stranger. Wow just wow at the psychotic delusions of grandeur on here.

Honestly this all sounds like an echo chamber of creepy men in the office who won't take no for answer from a disinterested female colleague. Keep pushing and pushing and get it in your head that you all are perfect for each other and have so much in common. And then she's a b-word because she avoids your delusional behind or turns you into HR when you won't let up.

DP. Ok, first, saying "respectfully" and then using the term "thick skull" is oxymoronic.

Second, no one wants to be your new friend. This thread specifically noted that the OP is not looking for new friends or trying to establish they are "perfect" for someone. Perhaps get it through your "thick skull" that talking to someone in a public space with our kids in order to contribute to a friendly and supportive environment for out kids is not an overture to be BFFs. It's entirely likely I will leave the conversation and not think about you at all other than maybe having a pleasant general impression of you and your family.

And third, have you asked yourself why you view having pleasant, mild interactions with people you see regularly at your kids school (they can be short, they don't have to involve small talk) is such an imposition for you? We're talking about simply having the ability to exchange a quick wave or smile, or exchange to sentences, with people you see nearly daily for years. You made the comparison to work. Yes, a man hitting on you at work every day would be really inappropriate. But I want you to imagine that you had a colleague you worked with for years who refused to make eye contact or even acknowledge your existence when you passed each other in the hall or wound up sitting next to each other while waiting for a meeting to start.

No one wants to be your new boyfriend. No one. We are just trying to make the experience of being parents with minor children mildly less alienating and awkward, by having basic social skills and not greeting everyone we see with hostile stares.

It's perfectly natural for people to have their guard up. You, after all, are a random total stranger.

Question for yappers like yourself: Why can't you just not compulsively yap at total strangers? Why can't you just enjoy whatever event you're at with your spouse and kid without socially elbowing others? Why don't you know anyone at your kid's school? That in itself is a little weird and that's likely why strangers are skittish. I don't think just because we're randomly 1 of 1,000 on up to 1 of 4,000+ (depending on enrollment size) moms and dads with a child in the same school means I'm obligated to talk with you or associate with you in any way. It's as silly as thinking you're entitled to small talk with random shoppers at a Nordstrom because you're both at the same store. It's pushy and weird.

A parent of a child in your kid's class or in the same after school activity is, by definition, NOT a random total stranger.

That seems to be the disconnect here. My feeling is "oh, I see this person every day/week at pick up and it's weird we don't acknowledge each other -- I will introduce myself and then greet and exchange a few words with this person because otherwise it's kind of weird." Your feeling is "WHY would this totally random person try to talk to me?! They should leave me alone, how dare they burden me int his way?"

I truly don't get your response. I'm not asking you to coffee or dinner, asking about your personal or family life (or job or house or anything personal because I truly don't care). I am, at most, asking a few questions like "oh how long has Larla been doing gymnastics?" or similar. I'm talking two minutes, tops, of interaction and just putting a name with a face. And this is seen, bizarrely in my opinion, as "needy" or invasive. This is so strange to me. I just don't want to spend months or years standing next to a person I recognize and whose kid is classmate/teammate/even friends with my kid, without creating a very baseline level of communication.

Respectfully disagree. Issue is you scorned whiners refuse to look at this from other parents’ POV: To them, you are in fact are a pushy total stranger trying to yap, ask invasive questions, and orbit me and my husband. It’s not rude or offensive that they simply don’t want to engage with you. This is especially true at public schools which pull in 500+ to 2,000+ random non-vetted families from all over the region - including scammer parents committing residency fraud.

These PPs make me sad for humanity. So glad my public elementary school has a sense of community and friendly parents (at least a good chunk) and not a view that people are random and maybe even scammers.

Not only is it sad, but it’s shortsighted and unwise.

In life, you want as large of a network as possible, especially if you have a career. Countless people have lost their jobs in the last year or two, and you want to be able to reach out to as many people as possible. You almost always get a job through someone you know. If you run in successful circles, there is typically some overlap between your work and personal networks. If you were to go to a school event with a well known CEO or senior leader, you can guarantee they will chit chat with others and be open to communicating. It’s simply how you have to behave to be successful.

On what planet do you live on that the random "CEO" you had brief small talk with at a school event is handing your unemployed ass a job? This thread is reaching new levels of delusion. Not to mention you're inadvertently confessing being so pushy and desperate is an attempt to SOCIAL CLIMB. You strivers want to orbit successful parents to "network" and broaden your "community" to ... get access to jobs when you're laid off. You shysters are trying to curate a higher status network for you and your kids and then whining that you're getting iced by parents who see right through you.

I’ve done well professionally and I can assure you that this wouldn’t be the case if I wasn’t friendly and outgoing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an introvert and he would never behave as some people here describe. It's an excuse. Introversion has become this out for people to just act boorishly. Dear introverts, no one cares. Engage in basic human interactions and if you can't manage, stay home.

Respectfully, get it through your thick skull: You are not entitled to be my new friend. You are not entitled to small talk. You are not entitled to a darn thing. You are literally a freaking stranger. Wow just wow at the psychotic delusions of grandeur on here.

Honestly this all sounds like an echo chamber of creepy men in the office who won't take no for answer from a disinterested female colleague. Keep pushing and pushing and get it in your head that you all are perfect for each other and have so much in common. And then she's a b-word because she avoids your delusional behind or turns you into HR when you won't let up.

DP. Ok, first, saying "respectfully" and then using the term "thick skull" is oxymoronic.

Second, no one wants to be your new friend. This thread specifically noted that the OP is not looking for new friends or trying to establish they are "perfect" for someone. Perhaps get it through your "thick skull" that talking to someone in a public space with our kids in order to contribute to a friendly and supportive environment for out kids is not an overture to be BFFs. It's entirely likely I will leave the conversation and not think about you at all other than maybe having a pleasant general impression of you and your family.

And third, have you asked yourself why you view having pleasant, mild interactions with people you see regularly at your kids school (they can be short, they don't have to involve small talk) is such an imposition for you? We're talking about simply having the ability to exchange a quick wave or smile, or exchange to sentences, with people you see nearly daily for years. You made the comparison to work. Yes, a man hitting on you at work every day would be really inappropriate. But I want you to imagine that you had a colleague you worked with for years who refused to make eye contact or even acknowledge your existence when you passed each other in the hall or wound up sitting next to each other while waiting for a meeting to start.

No one wants to be your new boyfriend. No one. We are just trying to make the experience of being parents with minor children mildly less alienating and awkward, by having basic social skills and not greeting everyone we see with hostile stares.

It's perfectly natural for people to have their guard up. You, after all, are a random total stranger.

Question for yappers like yourself: Why can't you just not compulsively yap at total strangers? Why can't you just enjoy whatever event you're at with your spouse and kid without socially elbowing others? Why don't you know anyone at your kid's school? That in itself is a little weird and that's likely why strangers are skittish. I don't think just because we're randomly 1 of 1,000 on up to 1 of 4,000+ (depending on enrollment size) moms and dads with a child in the same school means I'm obligated to talk with you or associate with you in any way. It's as silly as thinking you're entitled to small talk with random shoppers at a Nordstrom because you're both at the same store. It's pushy and weird.

A parent of a child in your kid's class or in the same after school activity is, by definition, NOT a random total stranger.

That seems to be the disconnect here. My feeling is "oh, I see this person every day/week at pick up and it's weird we don't acknowledge each other -- I will introduce myself and then greet and exchange a few words with this person because otherwise it's kind of weird." Your feeling is "WHY would this totally random person try to talk to me?! They should leave me alone, how dare they burden me int his way?"

I truly don't get your response. I'm not asking you to coffee or dinner, asking about your personal or family life (or job or house or anything personal because I truly don't care). I am, at most, asking a few questions like "oh how long has Larla been doing gymnastics?" or similar. I'm talking two minutes, tops, of interaction and just putting a name with a face. And this is seen, bizarrely in my opinion, as "needy" or invasive. This is so strange to me. I just don't want to spend months or years standing next to a person I recognize and whose kid is classmate/teammate/even friends with my kid, without creating a very baseline level of communication.

Respectfully disagree. Issue is you scorned whiners refuse to look at this from other parents’ POV: To them, you are in fact are a pushy total stranger trying to yap, ask invasive questions, and orbit me and my husband. It’s not rude or offensive that they simply don’t want to engage with you. This is especially true at public schools which pull in 500+ to 2,000+ random non-vetted families from all over the region - including scammer parents committing residency fraud.

These PPs make me sad for humanity. So glad my public elementary school has a sense of community and friendly parents (at least a good chunk) and not a view that people are random and maybe even scammers.

Not only is it sad, but it’s shortsighted and unwise.

In life, you want as large of a network as possible, especially if you have a career. Countless people have lost their jobs in the last year or two, and you want to be able to reach out to as many people as possible. You almost always get a job through someone you know. If you run in successful circles, there is typically some overlap between your work and personal networks. If you were to go to a school event with a well known CEO or senior leader, you can guarantee they will chit chat with others and be open to communicating. It’s simply how you have to behave to be successful.

On what planet do you live on that the random "CEO" you had brief small talk with at a school event is handing your unemployed ass a job? This thread is reaching new levels of delusion. Not to mention you're inadvertently confessing being so pushy and desperate is an attempt to SOCIAL CLIMB. You strivers want to orbit successful parents to "network" and broaden your "community" to ... get access to jobs when you're laid off. You shysters are trying to curate a higher status network for you and your kids and then whining that you're getting iced by parents who see right through you.

You sure you’re not projecting? Literally every successful person networks. They just do. I’m sorry if you’re not doing well professionally and didn’t know that this is the case so you make it about social climbing.