Explaining LD to non-LD sibling

[Anonymous]

My child's LDs seem to have skipped a generation, so DH and I don't have a lot of primary experience with dyslexia and ADD. We have some books like "If you're so smart, how come you can't spell Mississippi". But the typically developing child (8 & in public school) is increasingly hostile to slightly younger LD sib (entering private). The "everybody's different" explanation doesn't seem to be sinking in.

Suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child's LDs seem to have skipped a generation, so DH and I don't have a lot of primary experience with dyslexia and ADD. We have some books like "If you're so smart, how come you can't spell Mississippi". But the typically developing child (8 & in public school) is increasingly hostile to slightly younger LD sib (entering private). The "everybody's different" explanation doesn't seem to be sinking in.

Suggestions?

Honestly, I have explained in detail to my oldest about my youngest's limitations and strengths. For me, it's been necessary to emphasize that the child with learning difficulties is just as smart as the oldest and, in fact, better at some things. Every child has strengths and weaknesses. Also, I have had to explain with specific examples how youngest's language disorder impacts his relationship with his sibling, including specific examples of his pragmatic language deficits and difficulty understanding complex language. So now, when they get in a fight about the rules of a game, she knows that part of it may be that he doesn't actually understand her view of the rules even though she's explained it verbally. And she understands that he can't necessarily explain himself clearly. She now gives him more space to express himself (instead of interrupting all the time).

I also made the oldest watch a dvd (Richard Lavoie's How Difficult Can This Be? The FAT City Workshop) about what school looks like from the perspective of an LD kid. It really helped her understand that her brother actually perceives things differently than she does. It also gave her an ability to recognize struggling peers in school and the nasty treatment that teachers sometimes give them.

I also try to emphasize how much he loves her, pointing out what he does for her and how he looks up to her.

Now that we have completed all testing and have official diagnoses we will think over the summer how to "tell" the LD child about his strengths and weaknesses and what changes he can expect (or not) at school. We will also formally "tell" the rest of the family and explain what kinds of understanding, communication methods and discipline approaches are most appropriate.

I fall in the camp of more information and openness is better than less.