Daughter gets hit on at work - solutions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to FLIRT also to get better tips.

Flirty attractive waiters/waitresses of both genders always make much better tips than sullen curt ones.

haha.. I jokingly said this to my DD. She's pretty and gets hit on.

Yep, and it's a good way to get repeat customers who request her.

Knew a gal who waitressed since high school, and the lonely old timers who came in would always want to sit in her section because she was super friendly and always stopped to talk and get to know them.
One of them left her several hundred thousand dollars in his will. She was so sad when he was gone that she said she would rather have had a few more years hearing him tell stories and visit with him than all that money.
She still waitresses, just loved the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to FLIRT also to get better tips.

Flirty attractive waiters/waitresses of both genders always make much better tips than sullen curt ones.

haha.. I jokingly said this to my DD. She's pretty and gets hit on.

Yep, and it's a good way to get repeat customers who request her.

Knew a gal who waitressed since high school, and the lonely old timers who came in would always want to sit in her section because she was super friendly and always stopped to talk and get to know them.
One of them left her several hundred thousand dollars in his will. She was so sad when he was gone that she said she would rather have had a few more years hearing him tell stories and visit with him than all that money.
She still waitresses, just loved the job.

I think I've seen this movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to FLIRT also to get better tips.

Flirty attractive waiters/waitresses of both genders always make much better tips than sullen curt ones.

And the ones in the middle that just want to do their jobs well and earn a paycheck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to FLIRT also to get better tips.

Flirty attractive waiters/waitresses of both genders always make much better tips than sullen curt ones.

haha.. I jokingly said this to my DD. She's pretty and gets hit on.

Yep, and it's a good way to get repeat customers who request her.

Knew a gal who waitressed since high school, and the lonely old timers who came in would always want to sit in her section because she was super friendly and always stopped to talk and get to know them.
One of them left her several hundred thousand dollars in his will. She was so sad when he was gone that she said she would rather have had a few more years hearing him tell stories and visit with him than all that money.
She still waitresses, just loved the job.

I think I've seen this movie.

+1. It's our movie troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't she just ignore them? I mean seriously.

It’s a job. A service job. The job is to make the customers experience a good one. This isn’t about telling off catcallers. It’s about a difficult but universal challenge of a whole sector of the workforce: Not being a jerk even when the customer deserves it.

So she can’t just ignore inappropriate advances? Are you fking kidding me?

Clearly, you've never been in this position. Lucky you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to FLIRT also to get better tips.

Flirty attractive waiters/waitresses of both genders always make much better tips than sullen curt ones.

And the ones in the middle that just want to do their jobs well and earn a paycheck?

They aren’t cut out for the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have a societal norm and expectation that men have to make the first move, show interest first and make the connection and then also get mad when they do. If men only showed interest in women who have already explicitly invited that interest there would be a lot of single women in the world. Outside of online dating, it is almost always men asking for numbers and making a move.

But the waitress is not someone who is searching for a romantic partner—she's someone trying to find out if you want pancakes. It's not appropriate to ask your boss for a date, the police officer who just pulled you over or the garbage man while he hoists your bin. Let waitresses find out if you want pancakes without hassling them. If you see someone, in an appropriate environment, like a party, bar or other social event, then you can ask them—whether it's your teacher, the cop who pulled you over, the garbageman or your waitress from the pancake house.

How does one know that a woman is searching for a romantic partner? That would be great if there was a clear indicator that says, hit on me.

I don’t think it’s appropriate necessarily but I am sure there are plenty of meet cute stories of customers and waitresses and happily ever after. One of my cousins married a flight attendant he hit on during a flight (working and no indicator of interest), my friend married a guy who was the tow truck driver who came after she crashed her car. Again he was at work. I also know other couples who met when one was at work or where there were no clear neon lights of single and looking to mingle.

Here's a hint: if your target is captive to you because of their work, it's a bad idea.

The waitress was assigned to your table. She's not trying to eff everyone who is seated in her section. If she is, she can let you know. Don't make her job harder.

If your friend was happy hitting on the tow truck driver, that was her choice—if he had pursued her, it would've been a different story.

What do you mean it’s her choice? The tow truck driver was just assigned to her, doing his job and she started harassing him! Disgusting behavior.

I’m going to guess that they had a conversation while he was towing her car, and they made a connection.

Nope! He gave her his card to find out where her car was towed to. She was picked up from the accident scene by family. She called him the next day about her car, she thanked him for trying to calm her down, told him she was glad it was a cute guy who came to her rescue, and she asked him if he wanted to meet up.

Lesson: it’s endearing when women hit on men (even at work) and it’s TOXIC HARASSMENT men when hit on women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have a societal norm and expectation that men have to make the first move, show interest first and make the connection and then also get mad when they do. If men only showed interest in women who have already explicitly invited that interest there would be a lot of single women in the world. Outside of online dating, it is almost always men asking for numbers and making a move.

But the waitress is not someone who is searching for a romantic partner—she's someone trying to find out if you want pancakes. It's not appropriate to ask your boss for a date, the police officer who just pulled you over or the garbage man while he hoists your bin. Let waitresses find out if you want pancakes without hassling them. If you see someone, in an appropriate environment, like a party, bar or other social event, then you can ask them—whether it's your teacher, the cop who pulled you over, the garbageman or your waitress from the pancake house.

How does one know that a woman is searching for a romantic partner? That would be great if there was a clear indicator that says, hit on me.

I don’t think it’s appropriate necessarily but I am sure there are plenty of meet cute stories of customers and waitresses and happily ever after. One of my cousins married a flight attendant he hit on during a flight (working and no indicator of interest), my friend married a guy who was the tow truck driver who came after she crashed her car. Again he was at work. I also know other couples who met when one was at work or where there were no clear neon lights of single and looking to mingle.

Here's a hint: if your target is captive to you because of their work, it's a bad idea.

The waitress was assigned to your table. She's not trying to eff everyone who is seated in her section. If she is, she can let you know. Don't make her job harder.

If your friend was happy hitting on the tow truck driver, that was her choice—if he had pursued her, it would've been a different story.

What do you mean it’s her choice? The tow truck driver was just assigned to her, doing his job and she started harassing him! Disgusting behavior.

I’m going to guess that they had a conversation while he was towing her car, and they made a connection.

Nope! He gave her his card to find out where her car was towed to. She was picked up from the accident scene by family. She called him the next day about her car, she thanked him for trying to calm her down, told him she was glad it was a cute guy who came to her rescue, and she asked him if he wanted to meet up.

Lesson: it’s endearing when women hit on men (even at work) and it’s TOXIC HARASSMENT men when hit on women.

Hopefully men start paying attention. Women don’t want to be hit on the same way men want to be hit on.

[Anonymous]

I’m not seeing the issue here other than you allowed a 17 year old to work in a restaurant. You had to know this is part of the job, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have a societal norm and expectation that men have to make the first move, show interest first and make the connection and then also get mad when they do. If men only showed interest in women who have already explicitly invited that interest there would be a lot of single women in the world. Outside of online dating, it is almost always men asking for numbers and making a move.

But the waitress is not someone who is searching for a romantic partner—she's someone trying to find out if you want pancakes. It's not appropriate to ask your boss for a date, the police officer who just pulled you over or the garbage man while he hoists your bin. Let waitresses find out if you want pancakes without hassling them. If you see someone, in an appropriate environment, like a party, bar or other social event, then you can ask them—whether it's your teacher, the cop who pulled you over, the garbageman or your waitress from the pancake house.

How does one know that a woman is searching for a romantic partner? That would be great if there was a clear indicator that says, hit on me.

I don’t think it’s appropriate necessarily but I am sure there are plenty of meet cute stories of customers and waitresses and happily ever after. One of my cousins married a flight attendant he hit on during a flight (working and no indicator of interest), my friend married a guy who was the tow truck driver who came after she crashed her car. Again he was at work. I also know other couples who met when one was at work or where there were no clear neon lights of single and looking to mingle.

Here's a hint: if your target is captive to you because of their work, it's a bad idea.

The waitress was assigned to your table. She's not trying to eff everyone who is seated in her section. If she is, she can let you know. Don't make her job harder.

If your friend was happy hitting on the tow truck driver, that was her choice—if he had pursued her, it would've been a different story.

What do you mean it’s her choice? The tow truck driver was just assigned to her, doing his job and she started harassing him! Disgusting behavior.

I’m going to guess that they had a conversation while he was towing her car, and they made a connection.

Nope! He gave her his card to find out where her car was towed to. She was picked up from the accident scene by family. She called him the next day about her car, she thanked him for trying to calm her down, told him she was glad it was a cute guy who came to her rescue, and she asked him if he wanted to meet up.

Lesson: it’s endearing when women hit on men (even at work) and it’s TOXIC HARASSMENT men when hit on women.

Hopefully men start paying attention. Women don’t want to be hit on the same way men want to be hit on.

If men that hit on women end up hooking up with more women than men that do not, nothing will change. The only way for it to change is for women to specifically hook up with the respectful types more than the players. I’m married and have no dog in this hunt anymore, I’m just observing.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you’re still reading this dumpster fire….
If she’s shy it may help to practice some responses like play acting. It feels dumb but just saying the words out loud is empowering and then you have them ready to go when it a more stressful situation.

I’d start with simple and direct for inquiries that are not indecent or persistent. If the overture is indecent or persistent I might go to “I am at work and that is not an appropriate way to talk to someone just trying to serve you food.” If it persists, ask to switch tables. But I agree she needs a simple direct response for the guys who hair ask for her number or to go out sometime. It’s inappropriate and jerky but I don’t think it’s harassment unless it’s indecent or it persists after a “no.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to FLIRT also to get better tips.

Flirty attractive waiters/waitresses of both genders always make much better tips than sullen curt ones.

haha.. I jokingly said this to my DD. She's pretty and gets hit on.

Yep, and it's a good way to get repeat customers who request her.

Knew a gal who waitressed since high school, and the lonely old timers who came in would always want to sit in her section because she was super friendly and always stopped to talk and get to know them.
One of them left her several hundred thousand dollars in his will. She was so sad when he was gone that she said she would rather have had a few more years hearing him tell stories and visit with him than all that money.
She still waitresses, just loved the job.

I think I've seen this movie.

lmao, I'd forgotten about that Nick Cage movie! It had Rosie Perez in it, so never watched it though. Ugh! Poor Bridget Fonda also. Ooof!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have a societal norm and expectation that men have to make the first move, show interest first and make the connection and then also get mad when they do. If men only showed interest in women who have already explicitly invited that interest there would be a lot of single women in the world. Outside of online dating, it is almost always men asking for numbers and making a move.

But the waitress is not someone who is searching for a romantic partner—she's someone trying to find out if you want pancakes. It's not appropriate to ask your boss for a date, the police officer who just pulled you over or the garbage man while he hoists your bin. Let waitresses find out if you want pancakes without hassling them. If you see someone, in an appropriate environment, like a party, bar or other social event, then you can ask them—whether it's your teacher, the cop who pulled you over, the garbageman or your waitress from the pancake house.

How does one know that a woman is searching for a romantic partner? That would be great if there was a clear indicator that says, hit on me.

I don’t think it’s appropriate necessarily but I am sure there are plenty of meet cute stories of customers and waitresses and happily ever after. One of my cousins married a flight attendant he hit on during a flight (working and no indicator of interest), my friend married a guy who was the tow truck driver who came after she crashed her car. Again he was at work. I also know other couples who met when one was at work or where there were no clear neon lights of single and looking to mingle.

Here's a hint: if your target is captive to you because of their work, it's a bad idea.

The waitress was assigned to your table. She's not trying to eff everyone who is seated in her section. If she is, she can let you know. Don't make her job harder.

If your friend was happy hitting on the tow truck driver, that was her choice—if he had pursued her, it would've been a different story.

What do you mean it’s her choice? The tow truck driver was just assigned to her, doing his job and she started harassing him! Disgusting behavior.

I’m going to guess that they had a conversation while he was towing her car, and they made a connection.

Nope! He gave her his card to find out where her car was towed to. She was picked up from the accident scene by family. She called him the next day about her car, she thanked him for trying to calm her down, told him she was glad it was a cute guy who came to her rescue, and she asked him if he wanted to meet up.

Lesson: it’s endearing when women hit on men (even at work) and it’s TOXIC HARASSMENT men when hit on women.

Hopefully men start paying attention. Women don’t want to be hit on the same way men want to be hit on.

If men that hit on women end up hooking up with more women than men that do not, nothing will change. The only way for it to change is for women to specifically hook up with the respectful types more than the players. I’m married and have no dog in this hunt anymore, I’m just observing.

We’re not talking about women. This is a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have a societal norm and expectation that men have to make the first move, show interest first and make the connection and then also get mad when they do. If men only showed interest in women who have already explicitly invited that interest there would be a lot of single women in the world. Outside of online dating, it is almost always men asking for numbers and making a move.

But the waitress is not someone who is searching for a romantic partner—she's someone trying to find out if you want pancakes. It's not appropriate to ask your boss for a date, the police officer who just pulled you over or the garbage man while he hoists your bin. Let waitresses find out if you want pancakes without hassling them. If you see someone, in an appropriate environment, like a party, bar or other social event, then you can ask them—whether it's your teacher, the cop who pulled you over, the garbageman or your waitress from the pancake house.

How does one know that a woman is searching for a romantic partner? That would be great if there was a clear indicator that says, hit on me.

I don’t think it’s appropriate necessarily but I am sure there are plenty of meet cute stories of customers and waitresses and happily ever after. One of my cousins married a flight attendant he hit on during a flight (working and no indicator of interest), my friend married a guy who was the tow truck driver who came after she crashed her car. Again he was at work. I also know other couples who met when one was at work or where there were no clear neon lights of single and looking to mingle.

Here's a hint: if your target is captive to you because of their work, it's a bad idea.

The waitress was assigned to your table. She's not trying to eff everyone who is seated in her section. If she is, she can let you know. Don't make her job harder.

If your friend was happy hitting on the tow truck driver, that was her choice—if he had pursued her, it would've been a different story.

What do you mean it’s her choice? The tow truck driver was just assigned to her, doing his job and she started harassing him! Disgusting behavior.

I’m going to guess that they had a conversation while he was towing her car, and they made a connection.

Nope! He gave her his card to find out where her car was towed to. She was picked up from the accident scene by family. She called him the next day about her car, she thanked him for trying to calm her down, told him she was glad it was a cute guy who came to her rescue, and she asked him if he wanted to meet up.

Lesson: it’s endearing when women hit on men (even at work) and it’s TOXIC HARASSMENT men when hit on women.

Hopefully men start paying attention. Women don’t want to be hit on the same way men want to be hit on.

If men that hit on women end up hooking up with more women than men that do not, nothing will change. The only way for it to change is for women to specifically hook up with the respectful types more than the players. I’m married and have no dog in this hunt anymore, I’m just observing.

Those are known as the "nice guys."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have a societal norm and expectation that men have to make the first move, show interest first and make the connection and then also get mad when they do. If men only showed interest in women who have already explicitly invited that interest there would be a lot of single women in the world. Outside of online dating, it is almost always men asking for numbers and making a move.

But the waitress is not someone who is searching for a romantic partner—she's someone trying to find out if you want pancakes. It's not appropriate to ask your boss for a date, the police officer who just pulled you over or the garbage man while he hoists your bin. Let waitresses find out if you want pancakes without hassling them. If you see someone, in an appropriate environment, like a party, bar or other social event, then you can ask them—whether it's your teacher, the cop who pulled you over, the garbageman or your waitress from the pancake house.

How does one know that a woman is searching for a romantic partner? That would be great if there was a clear indicator that says, hit on me.

I don’t think it’s appropriate necessarily but I am sure there are plenty of meet cute stories of customers and waitresses and happily ever after. One of my cousins married a flight attendant he hit on during a flight (working and no indicator of interest), my friend married a guy who was the tow truck driver who came after she crashed her car. Again he was at work. I also know other couples who met when one was at work or where there were no clear neon lights of single and looking to mingle.

Here's a hint: if your target is captive to you because of their work, it's a bad idea.

The waitress was assigned to your table. She's not trying to eff everyone who is seated in her section. If she is, she can let you know. Don't make her job harder.

If your friend was happy hitting on the tow truck driver, that was her choice—if he had pursued her, it would've been a different story.

What do you mean it’s her choice? The tow truck driver was just assigned to her, doing his job and she started harassing him! Disgusting behavior.

I’m going to guess that they had a conversation while he was towing her car, and they made a connection.

Nope! He gave her his card to find out where her car was towed to. She was picked up from the accident scene by family. She called him the next day about her car, she thanked him for trying to calm her down, told him she was glad it was a cute guy who came to her rescue, and she asked him if he wanted to meet up.

Lesson: it’s endearing when women hit on men (even at work) and it’s TOXIC HARASSMENT men when hit on women.

Hopefully men start paying attention. Women don’t want to be hit on the same way men want to be hit on.

Well most men would probably love it if strange women came up and grabbed their package and kissed them on the ear. So yeah, you're right.