Is dating just a means to an end for 50+ men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 54 year old male I enjoy sex, but I’m far more interested in women who are smart, fun, confident, financially secure and not carrying a lot of baggage.

You certainly won’t find many 50+ women on the apps that meet that description.

If you find a woman that fit this description, you would have to be really committed to her, work on integrating each other in your lives, busy schedules etc. Men claim they want financially independent women, but in reality few men are able to offer what it takes to be with a wealthy woman

Very few women in their 50s are "wealthy" or "financially independent". Much more likely she's a financial mess barely hanging on by her fingernails. And if you're wealthy and financially independent, what does she have to offer you, really? A negative thing (she won't be a financial burden) but physically you're better off shopping younger.

If you screen the apps, most attractive women in their 30s state “open to kids”. Not sure if physical aspects outweigh the fact you would be restarting your life in your 50s, and even higher financial responsibilities for the new family.
There are some attractive women in 40-50s age group that are totally fine financially it’s not like we live in 1960s when women didnt work.
The problem is that an average man on the apps has nothing to offer to a woman who makes 500k+, for example. I make this money as a woman, and my NW is several million. I only date men who have similar lifestyle and background. Even dated uber rich men. One billionaire, several men who made $2-5m a year etc. Its easy to meet them in my circle and even on the apps. Wealthy people speak the “same” language, enjoy similar hobbies and life experiences, and they pick you by code words in profiles and photo hints at lifestyle.

But I’ve come to a conclusion that you can’t find love when you are looking for money. Everyone rich is extremely busy, travel a lot, have little disposable time etc. Wealthy women stay single very often and never remarry.

Not totally true, but… I’m a high earning woman (50, take care of myself and am in great shape but don’t kid myself that I look 30) and I find many men aren’t interested once they figure out I’m wealthy. I don’t know if it’s intimidation or that they realize lose some power over me. I want companionship, fun, and good sex, which I would think men would be happy to give, but I think they also want someone to take care of them which is the power of their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 54 year old male I enjoy sex, but I’m far more interested in women who are smart, fun, confident, financially secure and not carrying a lot of baggage.

You certainly won’t find many 50+ women on the apps that meet that description.

If you find a woman that fit this description, you would have to be really committed to her, work on integrating each other in your lives, busy schedules etc. Men claim they want financially independent women, but in reality few men are able to offer what it takes to be with a wealthy woman

Very few women in their 50s are "wealthy" or "financially independent". Much more likely she's a financial mess barely hanging on by her fingernails. And if you're wealthy and financially independent, what does she have to offer you, really? A negative thing (she won't be a financial burden) but physically you're better off shopping younger.

If you screen the apps, most attractive women in their 30s state “open to kids”. Not sure if physical aspects outweigh the fact you would be restarting your life in your 50s, and even higher financial responsibilities for the new family.
There are some attractive women in 40-50s age group that are totally fine financially it’s not like we live in 1960s when women didnt work.
The problem is that an average man on the apps has nothing to offer to a woman who makes 500k+, for example. I make this money as a woman, and my NW is several million. I only date men who have similar lifestyle and background. Even dated uber rich men. One billionaire, several men who made $2-5m a year etc. Its easy to meet them in my circle and even on the apps. Wealthy people speak the “same” language, enjoy similar hobbies and life experiences, and they pick you by code words in profiles and photo hints at lifestyle.

But I’ve come to a conclusion that you can’t find love when you are looking for money. Everyone rich is extremely busy, travel a lot, have little disposable time etc. Wealthy women stay single very often and never remarry.

Not totally true, but… I’m a high earning woman (50, take care of myself and am in great shape but don’t kid myself that I look 30) and I find many men aren’t interested once they figure out I’m wealthy. I don’t know if it’s intimidation or that they realize lose some power over me. I want companionship, fun, and good sex, which I would think men would be happy to give, but I think they also want someone to take care of them which is the power of their money.

I agree, PP. I’ve found it intimidating to men in their 40s who may be living in an apartment and paying child support etc

[Anonymous]

I also confirm that men who are seeing themselves as providers could be very intimidated by a well-off woman. Even if they initially are scared of gold diggers, and worried for their money. Once they find out the woman is wealthier, they start having insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 54 year old male I enjoy sex, but I’m far more interested in women who are smart, fun, confident, financially secure and not carrying a lot of baggage.

You certainly won’t find many 50+ women on the apps that meet that description.

I think you would be surprised. It is not 20 years ago.

I am not wealthy but I am financially independent. I am 47 and my net worth is 1.3 million, which I don’t think is horrible. I have worked my entire adult life. For nonprofits, and I still am at this point. I imagine if I had gotten a professional degree, it would be higher. I made every penny.

[Anonymous]

5.5 million NW here, also a 47 yo F.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5.5 million NW here, also a 47 yo F.

I’m a lawyer, work since age 16 and invested well into real estate and stocks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also confirm that men who are seeing themselves as providers could be very intimidated by a well-off woman. Even if they initially are scared of gold diggers, and worried for their money. Once they find out the woman is wealthier, they start having insecurities.

I think it’s because they have to behave / deliver. We need them less so we put up with less BS. which actually ought to be fun for a man who can actually bring it (sexually but also being an interesting and fun companion, willing to plan their share of dates, and generally do their share in maintaining a relationship). I’ve found a few, but not many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 54 year old male I enjoy sex, but I’m far more interested in women who are smart, fun, confident, financially secure and not carrying a lot of baggage.

You certainly won’t find many 50+ women on the apps that meet that description.

If you find a woman that fit this description, you would have to be really committed to her, work on integrating each other in your lives, busy schedules etc. Men claim they want financially independent women, but in reality few men are able to offer what it takes to be with a wealthy woman

Very few women in their 50s are "wealthy" or "financially independent". Much more likely she's a financial mess barely hanging on by her fingernails. And if you're wealthy and financially independent, what does she have to offer you, really? A negative thing (she won't be a financial burden) but physically you're better off shopping younger.

If you screen the apps, most attractive women in their 30s state “open to kids”. Not sure if physical aspects outweigh the fact you would be restarting your life in your 50s, and even higher financial responsibilities for the new family.
There are some attractive women in 40-50s age group that are totally fine financially it’s not like we live in 1960s when women didnt work.
The problem is that an average man on the apps has nothing to offer to a woman who makes 500k+, for example. I make this money as a woman, and my NW is several million. I only date men who have similar lifestyle and background. Even dated uber rich men. One billionaire, several men who made $2-5m a year etc. Its easy to meet them in my circle and even on the apps. Wealthy people speak the “same” language, enjoy similar hobbies and life experiences, and they pick you by code words in profiles and photo hints at lifestyle.

But I’ve come to a conclusion that you can’t find love when you are looking for money. Everyone rich is extremely busy, travel a lot, have little disposable time etc. Wealthy women stay single very often and never remarry.

Not totally true, but… I’m a high earning woman (50, take care of myself and am in great shape but don’t kid myself that I look 30) and I find many men aren’t interested once they figure out I’m wealthy. I don’t know if it’s intimidation or that they realize lose some power over me.

Maybe you're actually just annoying.

One man is like this, it's a him problem. "Many" men are like this, it's a you problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5.5 million NW here, also a 47 yo F.

Guys don't care. In fact, most guys are turned off by women why are too into their careers. They are usually very serious and just want to blab about their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5.5 million NW here, also a 47 yo F.

Guys don't care. In fact, most guys are turned off by women why are too into their careers. They are usually very serious and just want to blab about their job.

I’m semi-retired work part time and travel a lot. At age 47 plus my lifestyle is usually raising valid questions. I downsized recently and surprisingly men were more secure seeing me at a smaller place.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 49 m and I find it very weird that men are put off by women with money. I make about $750,000 without trying too hard (and no alimony). I can take care of a woman financially, but that doesn't mean I want to. I adore my gf, but the one thing that makes me uncomfortable about our relationship is that she's financially insecure. I don't for a second think she's with me for my money, but I just don't like feeling like she's dependent on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 49 m and I find it very weird that men are put off by women with money. I make about $750,000 without trying too hard (and no alimony). I can take care of a woman financially, but that doesn't mean I want to. I adore my gf, but the one thing that makes me uncomfortable about our relationship is that she's financially insecure. I don't for a second think she's with me for my money, but I just don't like feeling like she's dependent on me.

Part of insecurity for the men I dated was my flexible personal schedule. I travel a lot, and it takes commitment and planning to merge two schedules . Men who travel for with and earn a lot of money expected me to be available to them on call, when they are back in town. But I need commitment (eg living together, him being open to marriage), to stop planning my life around my friends and relatives. I can’t put off my winter vacation with my family for a wealthy boyfriend who may dump me for another chick before winter. Men expect a lot of time commitment without committing much themselves in return. I would expect my boyfriend to plan vacations together, discuss how we would sync our requirements etc. So far few people are at the same financial position and stage of life to get to that level of commitment .
I assume it’s easier for them to date a financially insecure woman and pay for all vacations themselves, as long as she allows him to control her time. If her office job is not paying much, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 54 year old male I enjoy sex, but I’m far more interested in women who are smart, fun, confident, financially secure and not carrying a lot of baggage.

You certainly won’t find many 50+ women on the apps that meet that description.

If you find a woman that fit this description, you would have to be really committed to her, work on integrating each other in your lives, busy schedules etc. Men claim they want financially independent women, but in reality few men are able to offer what it takes to be with a wealthy woman

Very few women in their 50s are "wealthy" or "financially independent". Much more likely she's a financial mess barely hanging on by her fingernails. And if you're wealthy and financially independent, what does she have to offer you, really? A negative thing (she won't be a financial burden) but physically you're better off shopping younger.

If you screen the apps, most attractive women in their 30s state “open to kids”. Not sure if physical aspects outweigh the fact you would be restarting your life in your 50s, and even higher financial responsibilities for the new family.
There are some attractive women in 40-50s age group that are totally fine financially it’s not like we live in 1960s when women didnt work.
The problem is that an average man on the apps has nothing to offer to a woman who makes 500k+, for example. I make this money as a woman, and my NW is several million. I only date men who have similar lifestyle and background. Even dated uber rich men. One billionaire, several men who made $2-5m a year etc. Its easy to meet them in my circle and even on the apps. Wealthy people speak the “same” language, enjoy similar hobbies and life experiences, and they pick you by code words in profiles and photo hints at lifestyle.

But I’ve come to a conclusion that you can’t find love when you are looking for money. Everyone rich is extremely busy, travel a lot, have little disposable time etc. Wealthy women stay single very often and never remarry.

Not totally true, but… I’m a high earning woman (50, take care of myself and am in great shape but don’t kid myself that I look 30) and I find many men aren’t interested once they figure out I’m wealthy. I don’t know if it’s intimidation or that they realize lose some power over me.

Maybe you're actually just annoying.

One man is like this, it's a him problem. "Many" men are like this, it's a you problem.

I’m a different woman and I can confirm that this is true in my experience and I’ve experienced it with multiple men.