Anyone find it hard to give up the DINK lifestyle to have kids?
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Anonymous
| DH and I are in our mid-30's and have been married for 7 years. We are DINKS, and while DH really wants kids, I really like our lifestyle and wonder how I would adapt to the huge lifestyle change if we have a child. I've also been putting pregnancy off because of a health issue though my OB says it's okay to get pregnant though he says he cannot predict how this health issue will play out in pregnancy, which has me concerned. Anyone wonder about this too before starting a family? |
Anonymous
| Not many people know what DINKs are. Just FYI |
Anonymous
| What precisely do you not want to give up? |
Anonymous
You really think people can't figure out Double Income No Kids from the context? |
Anonymous
I did not figure that out...not sure how the context would help in this case. |
Anonymous
Because she said she wasn't ready to give up the lifestyle for kids? |
Anonymous
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Nah. Sure it was nice to have more money and to be traveling and eating out and saving much more money, but haveing children is priceless to me and believe me I don't have it easy with these two darlings. Worth every second. I would be so sad without them in my life. |
Anonymous
| Having not haveing...so many typos. Sorry. |
Anonymous
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it's called google people. just google DINK if you didn't know what it is.
I do think it's good to consider this, but the truth is you really won't know until you have kids. Although I found myself bored with life a bit before having kids (going out to dinner with friends over and over, same weekends, etc.) I still mourned the loss of my freedom when the kids came along, and I really felt like i'd done a lot of single living (traveled, lived on my own, etc.). the frustrating thing about being a parent is that you can't do it part time. You can't borrow a kid for say, 3 months, and then have 3 months off to go to Paris or whatever. I think if it weren't that way, it'd be much easier! things that might make it easier to make the sacrifice: 1) if you like kids 2) if you keep your job after you have kids 3) if you have realistic expectations and realize you can do more as they get older, but the early years are tough 4) if you have local family or can pay for babysitters/frequent breaks. only you can decide if you want to try. |
Anonymous
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Couldn't envision giving our life up for kids until DC snuck up on us. One day I was at happy hour chatting it up with the girls, the next day, 2 pink lines appeared out of the blue. Now that DC's here though, I can't imagine life without her and everything else pales in comparison. I was actually thinking today after having lunch with a single friend of mine who just started dating a new guy. She regaled me with tales of their fancy spontaneous fun filled dates and quite amazingly, nostalgia or envy did not creep up on me. When we parted ways, I wondered objectively, if I missed that life and would want it but nah, it is utterly unappealing now.
Don't get me wrong, I still want to travel, see the world and enjoy new experiences but I want to do it with DC in tow. I feel like I want to show her the world, teach her new things and show her everything she's missed when she wasn't here 
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Anonymous
| Yes, 18 years later and my husband and I STILL think about those DINK times. |
Anonymous
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We were DINKS for 7 years before kids. I met DH at 25. We married at 28. We traveled abroad, lived abroad, moved around, partied like mad and skyrocketed in our careers. I started to feel a void...I had run marathons, been just about everywhere, the party scene was no longer appealing...I did start to feel like something was missing. For me taht was kids---but I was scared sh*tless to do it. Finally, one day...wth we decided. I got pregnant first shot so there was no time to think about it. I had my first at 35 and second at 38. We are in are early 40s and happy as can be. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. Waiting let me be in a flexible place in my career..I now WAH. I really can't imagine never having experienced this amount of joy and love. DH and I wouldn't turn back time and have no second thoughts. We got two good ones.
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Anonymous
| No, but we aren't big partiers. It's true we would travel more and to different places (i.e., not primarily to see family) if we were childless. The biggest adjustment was the financial hit of daycare and college savings. Didn't really have to pinch pennies before, and now we kind of do. |
Anonymous
Nor did I an thought "dining in, no kids." |
Anonymous
| It is very very hard to give it up. I would not trade my kids for the world but I do miss those times. |