1st beach trip with 2 1/2 yr old, 4 mos old, in-law's and cousins.....any advice?

[Anonymous]

Hi...any advice? Tips from seasoned vets....just the baby in the sun alone is stressing me out, but add to it a family reunion, everyone under one roof, and everything that goes with it, and well....I may need a vacation after this vacation? Don't powder puff it...I can take it.....any advice?

[Anonymous]

I went to the beach earlier this summer and met this family on the beach that was so prepared for fun in the sun. They had plenty of beach umbrellas for shade. They had enough chairs for the adults. They had the typical sand toys: shovels, pails, dump trucks, etc. But, the big thing I never thought of was that they brought three blow up pools that they filled with ocean water for their little ones to play in when they were not actually in the ocean. Needless to say, we met because my kids couldn't stay away from their pools when we weren't in the ocean. Don't forget the sunscreen.

No advice on dealing with the extended family though, except maybe vodka in sippy cups. Only kidding.

[Anonymous]

What kind of accommodations do you have (meaning, how close to the beach)? We stay in a beachfront house every summer with extended family--sometimes as many as 25 people in a 4 BR house. Each of my kids did this as fairly young infants-- DS was about 3 months, DD (two summers later) was 6 months. The One Step Ahead family cabana was a lifesaver; it has UPF 50, and adults really can sit under it with the kids. We didn't like to keep the baby outside for extended periods because of the heat though. So either DH, I, or one of the many extended family members would take turns going back to the house, bring DC back, etc. By 2.5, they don't want to leave the beach (or, at least mine didn't). So, just bring lots of sunscreen, and preferably a swimshirt. And don't skip naps. That's a great excuse to get everyone out of the sun during the peak hours.

[Anonymous]

Say the Serenity Prayer. Over and Over

I would say:

1. Don't try to do it all. Pace yourself along the 4 month old schedule, and set expectations that you need to take breaks for the baby.

2. If you have a few key needs (quiet, shade, ability to come and go, whatever), discuss them with the grownups when you get there. If they have an idea of how you will manage with the baby up front, they can make plans that will help you out.

3. Put someone in charge of the toddler and cousins so that you are free to do one thing. Can DH play camp counselor and keep the toddler and cousins busy building sand castles, swimming, etc? That will take a lot of the pressure off. On my recent vacation, I ran around with the 5 year olds, and DW took care of the baby.

4. Put your feet up! Let someone else make sandwiches. If you feel you need to do your part, pitch in when the baby is napping inside the house.

[Anonymous]

I saw a lot of families using a wagon to cart all of their stuff-thought that was a great idea to minimize hassle of carrying everything and of course clutter. I would also suggest talking with inlaws about some nights out ahead of time so that you can plan something fun alone with your hubby. Finally-I would get the food straight-I wound up cooking the whole time and that was like being at home. Next time I would make sure there was tons of cereal and fruit for breakfast, lunch meat stuff for lunch and assign dinner duties to a few people and order in some nights so it really feels like a vacation.

[Anonymous]

You want at least 3 umbrellas for your family, a large beach blanket in addition to towels, and a little tent for the baby to be in to protect from the sun and/or wind depending on the weather, lots of pails and shovels and sandcastle stuff for the toddler, sunscreen and hats for everyone, a beach cart to lug everything in, a cooler on wheels with a handle and dry ice to pack bottles, water, snacks and lunch. Put the tent underneath one of the umbrellas and on the corner of the blanket. Use your beach bag as a weight inside the tent to keep it from blowing away and try to keep the amount of sand that gets in the tent reasonable. You don't need a big tent, we have the smallest size that is simple to pack and put up and it works as well as a much bigger version. You don't need to have all the umbrellas in your garage - we only have one of our own but rented 2 more each day fromthe place on the beach plus chairs for the adults. Its a little pricier then hauling all our own but makes things much more reasonable in terms of travel and getting out in the morning. I have a 2+ year old and a 6 month old and just came back from a fabulous beach vacation. Everyone had such a good time. Both kids even napped in the tent/under the umbrellas and we were able to be out on the beach from shortly after breakfast until late in the afternoon. Fabulous.

[Anonymous]

The most important thing of all, imho, is for you and your partner to work together as a team. To touch base with each other periodically, to have code words or looks that you can exchange, etc. You need to go into it conscious of what your priorities as a family unit are - and then help one another adhere to those. In your case, for instance, you and your partner need to be focused on the needs of your infant (and therefore you, since - especially if you are nursing - you are an inseparable pair at this point) and your toddler. Everyone else is really secondary. And it doesn't matter what "they" think of the choices you make in terms of sleep schedules, eating, etc. You do what you need to do for your family.

[Anonymous]

I just came back from a similar trip to NC (except I don't have a second kid). We had lots of umbrellas, a big bucket to fill up with water under the umbrella and my two yo had a blast! The older cousins (5 and 7 y.o. girls) thought that my kid was a riot and ended up amusing him most of the time. It's practically impossible for the kids to seriously injure themselves in the sand and they are not fast enough to run into the water and drown themselves without you getting them. My in laws were happy that my kid was amusing their kid so it was a boozy, relaxing time for all. I would think the 4 m.o. would complicate things and echo the advice everyone else had. But just wanted to write a good story so you don't have just doom and gloom on your mind.

[Anonymous]

yes - don't go


just kidding. sort of.

[Anonymous]

We just came back from a week at the beach with our 2.9 yo, 4.5 mo, and my parents. It's the same trip we take every year -- same beach, same living arrangements, but it was a lot less fun this year because of the 4.5 mo's schedule (really, lack of schedule). He needs to sleep every 1-2 hours, and he melts down pretty quickly, so we really had to work hard to keep him happy.

Having my parents around was actually quite wonderful, since my older son is very close with them and was happy to go to their apartment when the baby was sleeping, etc. And they are very respectful of our decisions, so no judgments, pressure from them to do things we didn't want to do, etc. If your family is more inclined to be judgmental, I think 10:14's advice is excellent. Also, bring DVDs (and a portable player or laptop, if necessary) that you can watch after the kid are asleep, and stock up on your favorite drink fixings. We really enjoyed sitting with the deck door open, listening to the ocean, watching Mad Men, and drinking gin and tonics at night. That was our decompression time and made it feel a little more like a relaxing vacation.

Other random suggestions: Bring a Bjorn (or other baby carrier) for hte beach. The little time that our 4.5 mo spent on the beach was in the Bjorn, facing out. I could sit in a sand chair or stand at the ocean's edge, and he was entertained/happy. Much easier than holding, in my opinion. We took him out in the morning or late afternoon, rarely during the heat of the day, so I just put a hat on him and kept him in the shade. Let others entertain the older kid, but also get a good sun shade for the stroller so you can send the baby out on a walk with a relative while you play with #1.

[Anonymous]

drink heavily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:drink heavily.

I think drinking too heavily just makes it worse. The trick is instead to make sure you are slightly buzzed all the time.

[Anonymous]

LOL, I am checking in from my vacation at Kiawah Island with a just 3YO and 4 month old.

Here is my experience:
1. B/c of the heat, I actually have spent a lot of time indoors with my 4 month old. But that is OK, my DH and DS are really bonding and having a great time at the beach and biking. So, bring a lot of reading material and be prepared to be indoors. I actually love it. And make sure you think of what your DS and DH will need to bond together -- we brought fishing poles, sunshirts (why are DHs clueless about the need for sunscreen?), beach toys, bike helmet, etc.

2. We bought the Kelty Cabana (large) and it has been a lifesaver. DD actually slept in it for almost 3 hours the other day, so I was able to go into the ocean with my DS. Much better than an umbrella I think because the back is enclosed (so no one can kick up sand) and has a tarp floor to protect my 4 month old from the sand. It is really easy to set up and can be delivered to you in one day through Amazon. Note, however, if it is really hot and there is no breeze, it will become too hot inside the Cabana.

3. Portable DVD player.

4. Drink heavily (I am on my third glass of wine as we speak)!

Have fun . . . .

[Anonymous]

Don't worry if your baby or kid eats sand. It's not going to hurt them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry if your baby or kid eats sand. It's not going to hurt them.

Agree! But my 4 month old really hates the feel of sand on her body, esp. if it is also pretty hot out.