Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is planning to go back to work when middle child starts college. Her last day at work was Feb 1 2001.

Honestly not much changed at work since 2001. I would not worry.

I hope this is not snark. Not much has changed since 2001? Probably you are correct. The tech that is being used in working world is the same tech that is being used by everyone - so the ramp up time is not immense. I am interested in why your wife will not wait for the youngest child to go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have patchy work history or different careers, then to get your foot into the door, you have to craft your resume for the job. Cherry-pick the relevant work experience across previous jobs and show how it meets the current desired job requirement. All experience - volunteer, education and work - can be relevant, if it is speaking to the job requirement, pick out elements from it to see where it fully or even partially matches what the employer is looking for.

Finally, if you are creative and make and sell your wares, or you are a mom who is taking care of SN kids or family members etc, or just a person who loves the small town and its unique people, or loves to write children stories, or love to cook, love to teach, love to travel, restore old chandeliers, ... whatever your particular interest is - start cataloging it, start taking pictures, start a blog, start making videos etc. You are full of wisdom and if you can create a service or catalog something and put it on the internet, then you are creating work history and relevant experience. Even if your website does not get any traffic, you will be able to show to the employers - your writing skills, creativity, organization skill, marketing savvy, internet publishing savvy etc.

I know a person who went to Italy because her DH was posted there. She took a class in wine appreciation and when she returned to her own country she become a wine blogger and started a new career. In a small town, without any avenues to get jobs, you can very easily start a town newsletter for free and then sell the idea to their chamber of commerce to showcase the town, area of interest, history, businesses etc... Don't lose hope, there is a lot of work in this world and the work is ever increasing. The jobs may have gone away but the work remains.

What a great post!

[Anonymous]

Good for you, OP. I always wanted to be a SAHM but it was never possible. To the person who didn't have a clue why their older kids would need them during the day, I wonder if you really have any. You have worked hard in your chosen profession, OP. If you don't have to work, don't. I worked at the same place for thirty years and they laid me off without a second thought. If someone needs to work for financial or fulfillment reasons, congrats; don't criticize others with a different situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you, OP. I always wanted to be a SAHM but it was never possible. To the person who didn't have a clue why their older kids would need them during the day, I wonder if you really have any. You have worked hard in your chosen profession, OP. If you don't have to work, don't. I worked at the same place for thirty years and they laid me off without a second thought. If someone needs to work for financial or fulfillment reasons, congrats; don't criticize others with a different situation.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

How long ago did you stop working? I've been home for nearly 20 years, and while I had a pretty solid work history when I became a SAhM, I don't think I could put that work experience on a resume now.

If I applied for retail work I might list some more recent volunteer work but that's about it. My teenager literally has more recent, relevant work experience than I do. Yet, in reality, I have done everything from waiting to tables to working in a deli to answering phones to order taking to 10 years working in marketing/sales as a supervisor. I just can't list any of it because it isn't recent enough. From a job hunting prospective I am starting all over and looking for a first job.

At the time I was trying to re-enter the job market I had been at home for 3 years. I did try listing some volunteer work but it didn’t have much effect. A recruiter, who had been an early intervention specialist was sympathetic and was the only one who really tried to help.

My plan was to go straight to a temp agency. I have always had luck with those but this city only had temp agencies for blue collar jobs I couldn’t perform. Not a single agency for admin, para-legal, etc.

Yikes. I know that when I was 3 years out I still felt like I had plenty of recent enough work experience to put on a resume. I guess your situation proves that a lot depends on where you live. Not every area has the jobs that the DC area has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for you, OP. I always wanted to be a SAHM but it was never possible. To the person who didn't have a clue why their older kids would need them during the day, I wonder if you really have any. You have worked hard in your chosen profession, OP. If you don't have to work, don't. I worked at the same place for thirty years and they laid me off without a second thought. If someone needs to work for financial or fulfillment reasons, congrats; don't criticize others with a different situation.

THIS.

I had planned to go back to work at HS — what would they need during the day when they are at school and such? I would work as college admin so hours would be pretty compatible but would they need me someway I’m not anticipating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you, OP. I always wanted to be a SAHM but it was never possible. To the person who didn't have a clue why their older kids would need them during the day, I wonder if you really have any. You have worked hard in your chosen profession, OP. If you don't have to work, don't. I worked at the same place for thirty years and they laid me off without a second thought. If someone needs to work for financial or fulfillment reasons, congrats; don't criticize others with a different situation.

That would be terrible to be laid off after 30 years with the same company but at least you have those 30 years of experience. They do count for something, in fact they count for a lot. You probably participated in your company's 401K plan and maybe earned a pension. That retirement money didn't just disappear.

I would hate to job hunt in your shoes but, hopefully, you got a decent severance package and unemployment to see you through to the next job. I'm sorry that happened.

[Anonymous]

I wished I were lucky enough to decide. I would choose to stay home in a heartbeat!!!

[Anonymous]

OPs ego sounds enormous and what a pain to work with her.

[Anonymous]

I think I met OP in the PTA.

[Anonymous]

OP has quit to tend to her teenagers. Please end this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wished I were lucky enough to decide. I would choose to stay home in a heartbeat!!!

Amen.

[Anonymous]

I’m actually considering whether to quit my job (I have younger kids, and we can afford it) and this thread has actually convinced me NOT to quit. I don’t want to become a lazy and dramatic person like OP, for whom a standard job is comparable to waterboarding. Good grief!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m actually considering whether to quit my job (I have younger kids, and we can afford it) and this thread has actually convinced me NOT to quit. I don’t want to become a lazy and dramatic person like OP, for whom a standard job is comparable to waterboarding. Good grief!

OP is an anonymous person on this board. You have no idea what her (or his) life is like. You came across as bitter, jealous and immature in your post. You think that you will become lazy and dramatic because you think OP is lazy and dramatic? Good grief!!

No, you can not afford to stay at home - either monetarily or intellectually. Bonus - a quality daycare or an educated nanny will be more beneficial to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Please let this thread die. Jobs board is way more useful for other matters.

OP is likely a troll. Look at this thread, what they describe doesn’t jibe with her story.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/825635.page

Let’s go back to work stuff.