Perfectionist Child

[Anonymous]

Would she do better at a very large public high school (TC Williams in Alexandria) or smaller private school? She really likes the idea of doing a self-directed "Senior Project" (available at Sidwell, etc.) but I'm worried that she'll have a nervous breakdown in such a competitive atmosphere. TC Williams will pose its own set of challenges, however, as many of the students there are highly motivated, get-an-A-at-any-cost students as well. And there are dozens of them.

[Anonymous]

How in the world are WE supposed to know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How in the world are WE supposed to know?

Just like WE KNOW everything else.

She wants some sincere advice. Here's my best shot.

I think your public will be more cuthroat, b/c it's larger and b/c there will be many immigrant families who recognize the key to success is through education. It's hard to compete with such single minded obsession over academic success. An elite private will have students, for better or worse, who by virtue of their wealth will not be as hungry, and will be under the impression that getting in was the big step in the road to a name brand school.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much! I'm just trying to gather information from wherever I can. I've found lots of intelligent, well-meaning advice on this website, and it's helpful to add it to the store of information that we have already.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is really a perfectionist, I would lean on leaving out the private school. School time is supposed to be growing up time as well. All in moderation. The reports of high achievers committing suicide is scary.
She will do well where ever she goes.

[Anonymous]

Suggest you read the book "the Overachievers" by Robbins. Will help you get some insight on perfectionists in high school.