Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.

[Anonymous]

Wait, is OP trying to wrap herself in the banner of a veteran? What a non sequitur. SAHM of teens and soldier are like the two furthest apart things I can imagine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, is OP trying to wrap herself in the banner of a veteran? What a non sequitur. SAHM of teens and soldier are like the two furthest apart things I can imagine.

No, that is not at all what OP was saying. Perhaps check your reading comprehension?

[Anonymous]

Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

Change is inevitable - you get older, your life stage is different, your family needs become different, your financial needs may be different. The job which was amazing at 30, can be too inflexible at 50. The job that gave you the opportunity to travel the world, no longer works when you have a small baby. Taking on a job, just because you are conditioned that you contribute in an office working 9-5 is a fallacy, at different stages of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

How long ago did you stop working? I've been home for nearly 20 years, and while I had a pretty solid work history when I became a SAhM, I don't think I could put that work experience on a resume now.

If I applied for retail work I might list some more recent volunteer work but that's about it. My teenager literally has more recent, relevant work experience than I do. Yet, in reality, I have done everything from waiting to tables to working in a deli to answering phones to order taking to 10 years working in marketing/sales as a supervisor. I just can't list any of it because it isn't recent enough. From a job hunting prospective I am starting all over and looking for a first job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not an impulsive person and usually I really think through things before committing to anything., Going back to work was one big impulsive mistake that I made. In my situation, I should have waited for kids to leave home and evaluated how my day to day life looked like,. Thankfully, this whole episode has made me realize that I am dispensable at work but indispensable at home. Gave notice but they want to retain me and have come back with many great options that are very attractive. I have decided to pass. Not working for money, so my own personal time right now is precious.

Some posters asked how to get into the game. You need to have the credentials in your own industry to get back to the working world but generally the following helped me (along with existing network of people who can give me jobs ).
1) Be up to speed on any tech and office skills you may need. Microsoft 356/office, Photoshop, Visio, Flow, Skype, and even the lowly snipping tool that has proved indispensable for me. https://products.office.com/en-us/products - check these out.
2) In your volunteer work, take on tasks that are hard and people shy away from - administrative, project management, marketing, website support, power point presentations and slides, organizing events for charity, social media presence, accounting and tax prep, soliciting corporate donations, proposal writing, applying for grants, creating training videos and documents, promotional materials etc.
3) Get comfortable with having a digital footprint but curate carefully, do not overshare - blog, fb, youtube, IG, Twitter, polling tools, Linkedin,
4) Use your smartphone features fully. There are some great apps that are available to simplify your life. .
5) Use online businesses for a variety of services
6) Write a daily status report and send to your boss. It does not matter if they ask for it or not. Have an open word document on your machine, and keep updating it throughout your day.

Good luck to people who are trying to get back into the workforce.

I’m a little curious about what industry this job was in, b/c those skills would be had by just about any recent grad? How did you differentiate yourself?

Recent grads have experience with accounting and tax preparation, soliciting corporate donations, proposal writing, applying for grants, etc etc? Uh, no. Many of the things PP listed can only be learned on the job, often through years of experience - which she clearly has.

I'm gonna be slammed more for this but there is very little that you cannot learn now. The internet is a great resource. If you do not have the opportunity to learn some (not all) skills in a job because you are home, then do so at your volunteer/charity space. Everything I had needed to learn to succeed in the workplace - I learned in Kindergarten and PTA. I was also the Tiger mom, who has taught, coached and tutored my kids and neighborhood kids for free, on every darn subject from K-12 that you can think of. And I have taken a bazillion courses in the community college and aced it. Get out of your comfort zone in your volunteering and take on tasks that you have not done before because it is the best sandbox to play in. Plus, it is immensely satisfying because you can do it at your own terms and help others at the same time. All of this translates into skills that you can bring into the workplace.

If I ever had to run a business, I would look at SAHMs and Veterans as employees and make it super attractive for them in terms of remote working and flex time. and good remuneration/benefits. This is a gold mine of talent and they are also selling themselves short - just like I did. The reason I am leaving is not because I cannot hack it at the job. I am leaving because I do not want to make the time committment away from my family and my leisure hours + don't need the money. But, I now know that I can get a job and do well in a job - if I want.

- OP

Well since you quit within a few weeks from the a good job, you can be sure your current employer will never hire a SAHM again.

Employers are not holding back part time jobs because they are mean, do you understand it’s because there are fixed overhead costs to every employee and they don’t really go down when the position is part-time, so you are far more expensive as a part-time employee. And trusting someone to not abuse flex or telework, you have to establish that relationship and build trust. You have no references for my recent employer, no history with the company, so they will just pay you and trust that you’re actually working at home.

You will be better suited by freelancing, why did you not go that route? Basically just say I will deliver product, and get paid for it.

I understand why you would think that, and you have made very valid and logical arguments, which is probably true for many cases.
Thankfully, in my case, my stint probably made them more aware of the value the right person can bring to the job - hopefully that means that they will be more open to letting SAHMs work for them? My contribution was fairly valuable and apparent, and I got rave reviews from internal and external stakeholders. When I told them I had to leave, they did try to get me to stay with some solid benefits that did not exist before. Finally, I have agreed to help them with one project next year that an important stakeholder wants me on. I don't know if it will come to pass, but for now they are satisfied. I am not leaving with anyone holding the basket and my hope is that it will result in a lack of animosity at least, if it does not create goodwill.

Till the time my kids are home, I am not going to be doing anything that takes my focus away from them, or takes up more time or brain-space than I am willing to give. In these months, I have grown a lot in my personal life and habits, and so has my family. I am also much more hopeful and confident of my own abilities and know that I can get a job if I want. I am much more appreciative of what I have created at home, my privileged life and all the things I do for my community that does not get recognized in dollar amounts. More than that, I know where I feel most fulfilled and happy. I have great many things to look forward to, and a greater appreciation of my own worth, contribution and role in the family.

- OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

Change is inevitable - you get older, your life stage is different, your family needs become different, your financial needs may be different. The job which was amazing at 30, can be too inflexible at 50. The job that gave you the opportunity to travel the world, no longer works when you have a small baby. Taking on a job, just because you are conditioned that you contribute in an office working 9-5 is a fallacy, at different stages of your life.

This is true. Back when I was younger I had the drive to work overtime and even holidays because I really needed the money. If I could work on the 4th of July and earn double time - heck, yeah, I'd do it. If I had to stay late every day at work to see that a project got finished on time - I'd do it because I was hungry for a promotion. Extra responsibilities? Heck, yeah - bring it on. Reliable to a fault.

I don't know that it would be the same for me now. Honestly, I would rather have the holidays off with my family, double time doesn't mean what it used to and I've been in positions with more and increasing responsibility before so I know the pros/cons involved, BTDT....I'm not sure that I'd even want that now.

I'm thinking that maybe office temp work, substitute teacher or maybe seasonal retail work would be the way to go for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

I don’t understand — do retail applications really ask for your salary from 10 years ago? Just drop old stuff off your resume, perfectly valid thing to do for all applicants. It sounds more like you don’t want to work retail but want to make it ‘their’ decision? Just go along with DH and enjoy retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not an impulsive person and usually I really think through things before committing to anything., Going back to work was one big impulsive mistake that I made. In my situation, I should have waited for kids to leave home and evaluated how my day to day life looked like,. Thankfully, this whole episode has made me realize that I am dispensable at work but indispensable at home. Gave notice but they want to retain me and have come back with many great options that are very attractive. I have decided to pass. Not working for money, so my own personal time right now is precious.

Some posters asked how to get into the game. You need to have the credentials in your own industry to get back to the working world but generally the following helped me (along with existing network of people who can give me jobs ).
1) Be up to speed on any tech and office skills you may need. Microsoft 356/office, Photoshop, Visio, Flow, Skype, and even the lowly snipping tool that has proved indispensable for me. https://products.office.com/en-us/products - check these out.
2) In your volunteer work, take on tasks that are hard and people shy away from - administrative, project management, marketing, website support, power point presentations and slides, organizing events for charity, social media presence, accounting and tax prep, soliciting corporate donations, proposal writing, applying for grants, creating training videos and documents, promotional materials etc.
3) Get comfortable with having a digital footprint but curate carefully, do not overshare - blog, fb, youtube, IG, Twitter, polling tools, Linkedin,
4) Use your smartphone features fully. There are some great apps that are available to simplify your life. .
5) Use online businesses for a variety of services
6) Write a daily status report and send to your boss. It does not matter if they ask for it or not. Have an open word document on your machine, and keep updating it throughout your day.

Good luck to people who are trying to get back into the workforce.

I’m a little curious about what industry this job was in, b/c those skills would be had by just about any recent grad? How did you differentiate yourself?

Recent grads have experience with accounting and tax preparation, soliciting corporate donations, proposal writing, applying for grants, etc etc? Uh, no. Many of the things PP listed can only be learned on the job, often through years of experience - which she clearly has.

I'm gonna be slammed more for this but there is very little that you cannot learn now. The internet is a great resource. If you do not have the opportunity to learn some (not all) skills in a job because you are home, then do so at your volunteer/charity space. Everything I had needed to learn to succeed in the workplace - I learned in Kindergarten and PTA. I was also the Tiger mom, who has taught, coached and tutored my kids and neighborhood kids for free, on every darn subject from K-12 that you can think of. And I have taken a bazillion courses in the community college and aced it. Get out of your comfort zone in your volunteering and take on tasks that you have not done before because it is the best sandbox to play in. Plus, it is immensely satisfying because you can do it at your own terms and help others at the same time. All of this translates into skills that you can bring into the workplace.

If I ever had to run a business, I would look at SAHMs and Veterans as employees and make it super attractive for them in terms of remote working and flex time. and good remuneration/benefits. This is a gold mine of talent and they are also selling themselves short - just like I did. The reason I am leaving is not because I cannot hack it at the job. I am leaving because I do not want to make the time committment away from my family and my leisure hours + don't need the money. But, I now know that I can get a job and do well in a job - if I want.

- OP

Well since you quit within a few weeks from the a good job, you can be sure your current employer will never hire a SAHM again.

Employers are not holding back part time jobs because they are mean, do you understand it’s because there are fixed overhead costs to every employee and they don’t really go down when the position is part-time, so you are far more expensive as a part-time employee. And trusting someone to not abuse flex or telework, you have to establish that relationship and build trust. You have no references for my recent employer, no history with the company, so they will just pay you and trust that you’re actually working at home.

You will be better suited by freelancing, why did you not go that route? Basically just say I will deliver product, and get paid for it.

I understand why you would think that, and you have made very valid and logical arguments, which is probably true for many cases.
Thankfully, in my case, my stint probably made them more aware of the value the right person can bring to the job - hopefully that means that they will be more open to letting SAHMs work for them? My contribution was fairly valuable and apparent, and I got rave reviews from internal and external stakeholders. When I told them I had to leave, they did try to get me to stay with some solid benefits that did not exist before. Finally, I have agreed to help them with one project next year that an important stakeholder wants me on. I don't know if it will come to pass, but for now they are satisfied. I am not leaving with anyone holding the basket and my hope is that it will result in a lack of animosity at least, if it does not create goodwill.

Till the time my kids are home, I am not going to be doing anything that takes my focus away from them, or takes up more time or brain-space than I am willing to give. In these months, I have grown a lot in my personal life and habits, and so has my family. I am also much more hopeful and confident of my own abilities and know that I can get a job if I want. I am much more appreciative of what I have created at home, my privileged life and all the things I do for my community that does not get recognized in dollar amounts. More than that, I know where I feel most fulfilled and happy. I have great many things to look forward to, and a greater appreciation of my own worth, contribution and role in the family.

- OP.

You should be a caree coach OP, your writings make me think of Tony Robbins!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

How long ago did you stop working? I've been home for nearly 20 years, and while I had a pretty solid work history when I became a SAhM, I don't think I could put that work experience on a resume now.

If I applied for retail work I might list some more recent volunteer work but that's about it. My teenager literally has more recent, relevant work experience than I do. Yet, in reality, I have done everything from waiting to tables to working in a deli to answering phones to order taking to 10 years working in marketing/sales as a supervisor. I just can't list any of it because it isn't recent enough. From a job hunting prospective I am starting all over and looking for a first job.

At the time I was trying to re-enter the job market I had been at home for 3 years. I did try listing some volunteer work but it didn’t have much effect. A recruiter, who had been an early intervention specialist was sympathetic and was the only one who really tried to help.

My plan was to go straight to a temp agency. I have always had luck with those but this city only had temp agencies for blue collar jobs I couldn’t perform. Not a single agency for admin, para-legal, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

I don’t understand — do retail applications really ask for your salary from 10 years ago? Just drop old stuff off your resume, perfectly valid thing to do for all applicants. It sounds more like you don’t want to work retail but want to make it ‘their’ decision? Just go along with DH and enjoy retirement.

Well, I wasn’t unemployed as long as OP at that point. I had only been unemployed for three years and they usually ask for your three most recent jobs. And of course they wanted supervisors names and numbers. Retail applications all wanted that. And many have only online applications or in-store kiosks with fields you can’t leave blank or you can’t submit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

Change is inevitable - you get older, your life stage is different, your family needs become different, your financial needs may be different. The job which was amazing at 30, can be too inflexible at 50. The job that gave you the opportunity to travel the world, no longer works when you have a small baby. Taking on a job, just because you are conditioned that you contribute in an office working 9-5 is a fallacy, at different stages of your life.

Thanks for the kind words and understanding. I was so exasperated that I finally just concluded that God, the Universe or Whatever was blocking me because I was needed at home. It’s true, I really am. Not working gives me the energy to focus and go the extra mile for my daughter with SN and she is benefiting from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you describe is why I stopped looking for a job.

I had a great career in DC and now we live in a midsized midwestern city. My resume has big names splashed all over it and my particular field and positions sound so high-minded and fluffy that I don’t think anyone wanted to take a chance on me.

I learned new skills, went to industry conferences, and networked the hell out of this town when I got here but interesting jobs are few and far between and locals tell me those jobs are given based on who you know and if you are a relative.

That’s okay, I thought, I’ll try retail but any applications to retail jobs seemed to go straight to the circular file, probably because my previous salary was much, much higher.

My husband asked me to give up. He knew I’d hate a job for a job’s sake, anyhow. And the money I’d earn wouldn’t make much difference.

So, I finally, sort of, accepted that I’m probably never going to work again. And the doubts drive me nuts all the time. I *feel* like I should be working even though I don’t need to and there’s nothing I’m really itching to do. I’d probably hate a job for a job sake.

Besides, my husband has a crazy schedule, I’m really into my creative work and I have a SN kid and don’t feel comfortable with her at any after-care programs. I’ve dabbled in selling my creative stuff at markets and fairs. It gives me some satisfaction. I hope when DD is older I can put more effort into it.

It’s just hard to accept that the old me is gone.

How long ago did you stop working? I've been home for nearly 20 years, and while I had a pretty solid work history when I became a SAhM, I don't think I could put that work experience on a resume now.

If I applied for retail work I might list some more recent volunteer work but that's about it. My teenager literally has more recent, relevant work experience than I do. Yet, in reality, I have done everything from waiting to tables to working in a deli to answering phones to order taking to 10 years working in marketing/sales as a supervisor. I just can't list any of it because it isn't recent enough. From a job hunting prospective I am starting all over and looking for a first job.

Hi OP, I had been at home only 3 years at that time so my last three jobs (two were held concurrently) fell into the ten year history span. So the timing was a lot different for me. My problem is mostly location. There are so many opportunities in the DMV.

It’s been seven years now for me. I have mostly made peace with it. I was crying one day and I told my husband that I guess I got promoted to “Trophy Wife.”

There could be something for me again someday. It’s probably not the right time. Besides, the longer I am here the more friends and connections I have, right? I love the city and the people here.

[Anonymous]

If you have patchy work history or different careers, then to get your foot into the door, you have to craft your resume for the job. Cherry-pick the relevant work experience across previous jobs and show how it meets the current desired job requirement. All experience - volunteer, education and work - can be relevant, if it is speaking to the job requirement, pick out elements from it to see where it fully or even partially matches what the employer is looking for.

Finally, if you are creative and make and sell your wares, or you are a mom who is taking care of SN kids or family members etc, or just a person who loves the small town and its unique people, or loves to write children stories, or love to cook, love to teach, love to travel, restore old chandeliers, ... whatever your particular interest is - start cataloging it, start taking pictures, start a blog, start making videos etc. You are full of wisdom and if you can create a service or catalog something and put it on the internet, then you are creating work history and relevant experience. Even if your website does not get any traffic, you will be able to show to the employers - your writing skills, creativity, organization skill, marketing savvy, internet publishing savvy etc.

I know a person who went to Italy because her DH was posted there. She took a class in wine appreciation and when she returned to her own country she become a wine blogger and started a new career. In a small town, without any avenues to get jobs, you can very easily start a town newsletter for free and then sell the idea to their chamber of commerce to showcase the town, area of interest, history, businesses etc... Don't lose hope, there is a lot of work in this world and the work is ever increasing. The jobs may have gone away but the work remains.

[Anonymous]

My wife is planning to go back to work when middle child starts college. Her last day at work was Feb 1 2001.

Honestly not much changed at work since 2001. I would not worry.