My high stats kid running out of steam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for this thread. After reading about parents helping out during crunch time, I reached out yesterday to my DD who is holding up the world currently with classes, sports, leadership roles and bending but not breaking yet. I texted her and offered some help - told her to buy dinner between school and her away game on me rather than pack it, told her I'd take over her household chores for the next two weekends, and told her I'd help this weekend with brainstorming or research gathering if she'd like. She's usually pretty stoic, but last night came and hugged me and told me how much that meant to her. It wouldn't have occurred to me to do this if not for this thread.

Omg. I am so glad you offered. If you need help on research, we'll crowdsource. Post a new thread on school and major.
GL to you both.
Hugs to your sweet girl.

This is truly pathetic. I’d be so embarrassed if my “high stats” kid was unable to prepare an application on their own and doubly embarrassed,if they wanted mommy to do it for them.

There are nice, normal people on here. I know it's foreign to you.
Your karma reeks - you're bitter because you didn't help your kid, and now they are off in Europe or some pathetic option, where you have to convince yourself it's "top for their major". Just remember, all of this negative energy you pour into this board every day will come back to bite you (and your kid). That's how it works.

Yeah, you really sound like a "nice, normal" person...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for this thread. After reading about parents helping out during crunch time, I reached out yesterday to my DD who is holding up the world currently with classes, sports, leadership roles and bending but not breaking yet. I texted her and offered some help - told her to buy dinner between school and her away game on me rather than pack it, told her I'd take over her household chores for the next two weekends, and told her I'd help this weekend with brainstorming or research gathering if she'd like. She's usually pretty stoic, but last night came and hugged me and told me how much that meant to her. It wouldn't have occurred to me to do this if not for this thread.

Omg. I am so glad you offered. If you need help on research, we'll crowdsource. Post a new thread on school and major.
GL to you both.
Hugs to your sweet girl.

This is truly pathetic. I’d be so embarrassed if my “high stats” kid was unable to prepare an application on their own and doubly embarrassed,if they wanted mommy to do it for them.

There are nice, normal people on here. I know it's foreign to you.
Your karma reeks - you're bitter because you didn't help your kid, and now they are off in Europe or some pathetic option, where you have to convince yourself it's "top for their major". Just remember, all of this negative energy you pour into this board every day will come back to bite you (and your kid). That's how it works.

Yeah, you really sound like a "nice, normal" person...

We can tell you’re the same person (IP) responding to all of these posts. Please stop. It’s lame.

😆

Why is anyone even keeping this post alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for this thread. After reading about parents helping out during crunch time, I reached out yesterday to my DD who is holding up the world currently with classes, sports, leadership roles and bending but not breaking yet. I texted her and offered some help - told her to buy dinner between school and her away game on me rather than pack it, told her I'd take over her household chores for the next two weekends, and told her I'd help this weekend with brainstorming or research gathering if she'd like. She's usually pretty stoic, but last night came and hugged me and told me how much that meant to her. It wouldn't have occurred to me to do this if not for this thread.

Omg. I am so glad you offered. If you need help on research, we'll crowdsource. Post a new thread on school and major.
GL to you both.
Hugs to your sweet girl.

This is truly pathetic. I’d be so embarrassed if my “high stats” kid was unable to prepare an application on their own and doubly embarrassed,if they wanted mommy to do it for them.

There are nice, normal people on here. I know it's foreign to you.
Your karma reeks - you're bitter because you didn't help your kid, and now they are off in Europe or some pathetic option, where you have to convince yourself it's "top for their major". Just remember, all of this negative energy you pour into this board every day will come back to bite you (and your kid). That's how it works.

Yeah, you really sound like a "nice, normal" person...

We can tell you’re the same person (IP) responding to all of these posts. Please stop. It’s lame.

😆

Why is anyone even keeping this post alive.

Actually no, I am the person you attacked but that isn’t my post. You can check with Jeff if you want. I agree, you don’t seem very nice and definitely not normal, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for this thread. After reading about parents helping out during crunch time, I reached out yesterday to my DD who is holding up the world currently with classes, sports, leadership roles and bending but not breaking yet. I texted her and offered some help - told her to buy dinner between school and her away game on me rather than pack it, told her I'd take over her household chores for the next two weekends, and told her I'd help this weekend with brainstorming or research gathering if she'd like. She's usually pretty stoic, but last night came and hugged me and told me how much that meant to her. It wouldn't have occurred to me to do this if not for this thread.

Omg. I am so glad you offered. If you need help on research, we'll crowdsource. Post a new thread on school and major.
GL to you both.
Hugs to your sweet girl.

This is truly pathetic. I’d be so embarrassed if my “high stats” kid was unable to prepare an application on their own and doubly embarrassed,if they wanted mommy to do it for them.

No one is "preparing an application" for their kid.... Jeez. Get a grip. Offering to help find a few links is not "preparing an application"!!

+1
I don't get all the judgment.
I'm helping DC research Tulane right now. Just posted a question about it. What does that make me? I'm not writing the essay or even looking at the application (yet - hoping DC will show it to me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for this thread. After reading about parents helping out during crunch time, I reached out yesterday to my DD who is holding up the world currently with classes, sports, leadership roles and bending but not breaking yet. I texted her and offered some help - told her to buy dinner between school and her away game on me rather than pack it, told her I'd take over her household chores for the next two weekends, and told her I'd help this weekend with brainstorming or research gathering if she'd like. She's usually pretty stoic, but last night came and hugged me and told me how much that meant to her. It wouldn't have occurred to me to do this if not for this thread.

Omg. I am so glad you offered. If you need help on research, we'll crowdsource. Post a new thread on school and major.
GL to you both.
Hugs to your sweet girl.

This is truly pathetic. I’d be so embarrassed if my “high stats” kid was unable to prepare an application on their own and doubly embarrassed,if they wanted mommy to do it for them.

No one is "preparing an application" for their kid.... Jeez. Get a grip. Offering to help find a few links is not "preparing an application"!!

+1
I don't get all the judgment.
I'm helping DC research Tulane right now. Just posted a question about it. What does that make me? I'm not writing the essay or even looking at the application (yet - hoping DC will show it to me).

Sigh, it isn’t a difficult concept to get. Let your kid do it. Help with the administrative stuff, if you must.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Eye opening to see what “help” looks like in some families. I would say we are helping our son quite a bit. But it pales in comparison to what some are sharing on here.

We talked to him about building a college list starting junior year and took him to visit places. We signed him up for his school’s 2 day college workshop in the summer even though he didn’t want to deal with it. The workshop got him thinking about ideas for his essays and we helped with brainstorming and then reading his essay and providing feedback. Once he got started, it was fairly easy for him in the common app (which the school workshop helped him start filling out) to keep track of what needed to be done for which school. He is writing his supplemental essays in the same way as his main essay. We are going out to lunch as a family and brainstorming ideas. He is then writing the essays and then asking for us to review.

I consider that a ton of support and am happy to provide it to him. But if you are basically writing the application for your kid, do you ever worry that your kid is not ready to manage their stuff in college when you aren’t there?

My kid is also in fall sports and taking a bunch of APs. Not saying it’s great and the college app process is stressful. But he is owning the process with a lot of support where he asks for it and lots of love like making dinners he likes etc on hard days.

You are all but writing the essays for your son! That is an extraordinary level of involvement and help.

I would say you are helping more than 99% of the families and you are the one complaining about this?

Re-read. She is helping brainstorm. Which is the role admissions office suggest for parents.

She explicitly said she is not writing and even suggested parents who do that may have a child not ready for college. Perhaps that’s you & it touched a nerve!!

Sorry. I am just a bit tired from all the essays I wrote for my kid.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough crowd. We ask a lot of these kids - far more than was asked of at my high school that sent about half the kids to top 20 schools. Your kids will find college to be a cakewalk after this. I don’t judge any approach. Sorry if Suzie Q isn’t doing research on why she absolutely go to x college on her own. It’s a dumb question for colleges to ask anyway as if an 18 year old really knows. Good luck to all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same here and I have twins! Both have yet to decide ED choice although they have made progress on supplementals for there multiple possibilities. However, there are two weekends left - your DS can do it. I’d lay out the calendar for him and ask him to tell you what he needs help with. For mine it was adding due dates, interview (y/n), video to a spreadsheet.

Mine also have a long list of schools they want to EA to and hopefully they make the Nov deadline so they can finish those off but honestly, if they don’t make it there is still RD. Many kids do get in Reg Decision (and then can take their pick and consider merit aid).

Strongly advise twins to ED to same school. Schools like twins.

[Anonymous]

The essays are an absurd exercise in creative writing under pressure, just a contrived hoop to jump through. Then there’s the irony of “test-optional” policies. The schools pat themselves on the back for flexibility there, yet they mandate these elaborate, anecdotal BS essays that put kids at a disadvantage if they’re natural procrastinators or simply not strong writers. It’s got to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Eye opening to see what “help” looks like in some families. I would say we are helping our son quite a bit. But it pales in comparison to what some are sharing on here.

We talked to him about building a college list starting junior year and took him to visit places. We signed him up for his school’s 2 day college workshop in the summer even though he didn’t want to deal with it. The workshop got him thinking about ideas for his essays and we helped with brainstorming and then reading his essay and providing feedback. Once he got started, it was fairly easy for him in the common app (which the school workshop helped him start filling out) to keep track of what needed to be done for which school. He is writing his supplemental essays in the same way as his main essay. We are going out to lunch as a family and brainstorming ideas. He is then writing the essays and then asking for us to review.

I consider that a ton of support and am happy to provide it to him. But if you are basically writing the application for your kid, do you ever worry that your kid is not ready to manage their stuff in college when you aren’t there?

My kid is also in fall sports and taking a bunch of APs. Not saying it’s great and the college app process is stressful. But he is owning the process with a lot of support where he asks for it and lots of love like making dinners he likes etc on hard days.

You are all but writing the essays for your son! That is an extraordinary level of involvement and help.

I would say you are helping more than 99% of the families and you are the one complaining about this?

Re-read. She is helping brainstorm. Which is the role admissions office suggest for parents.

She explicitly said she is not writing and even suggested parents who do that may have a child not ready for college. Perhaps that’s you & it touched a nerve!!

Sorry. I am just a bit tired from all the essays I wrote for my kid.

🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

A woman I worked with shared that she wrote her sons’ college essays in the 90s because they both sucked at writing. Her one son is now a highly respected, competitively trained surgeon. He was made for medicine but was never a writer so it would have been a loss if a poorly written essay had messed up his path to the right college. His brother got his MBA from Columbia University after graduating. Obvi, their long term potential wasn’t defined by their ability to craft the perfect personal statement.

I say ignore the judgment on this board about helping your kids. If your child needs support in their applications, step in. Dont let a single essay overshadow their other accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough crowd. We ask a lot of these kids - far more than was asked of at my high school that sent about half the kids to top 20 schools. Your kids will find college to be a cakewalk after this. I don’t judge any approach. Sorry if Suzie Q isn’t doing research on why she absolutely go to x college on her own. It’s a dumb question for colleges to ask anyway as if an 18 year old really knows. Good luck to all.

Best answer.
💯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough crowd. We ask a lot of these kids - far more than was asked of at my high school that sent about half the kids to top 20 schools. Your kids will find college to be a cakewalk after this. I don’t judge any approach. Sorry if Suzie Q isn’t doing research on why she absolutely go to x college on her own. It’s a dumb question for colleges to ask anyway as if an 18 year old really knows. Good luck to all.

Lots of stressed, overinvolved moms trying to justify during their adult or near adult kids work for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman I worked with shared that she wrote her sons’ college essays in the 90s because they both sucked at writing. Her one son is now a highly respected, competitively trained surgeon. He was made for medicine but was never a writer so it would have been a loss if a poorly written essay had messed up his path to the right college. His brother got his MBA from Columbia University after graduating. Obvi, their long term potential wasn’t defined by their ability to craft the perfect personal statement.

I say ignore the judgment on this board about helping your kids. If your child needs support in their applications, step in. Dont let a single essay overshadow their other accomplishments.

So gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman I worked with shared that she wrote her sons’ college essays in the 90s because they both sucked at writing. Her one son is now a highly respected, competitively trained surgeon. He was made for medicine but was never a writer so it would have been a loss if a poorly written essay had messed up his path to the right college. His brother got his MBA from Columbia University after graduating. Obvi, their long term potential wasn’t defined by their ability to craft the perfect personal statement.

I say ignore the judgment on this board about helping your kids. If your child needs support in their applications, step in. Dont let a single essay overshadow their other accomplishments.

There are lots of very successful people with sh*tty value systems learned in childhood, it’s true.