Genuinely asking both parties: where do you want friends/family relationships to go from here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have written off the other side. Truly I want nothing to do with these morons who vote against their own interest and those of others

Yup.
It’s a question of morals, not political differences.

OK, so…then what? You want the majority of the country to be “immoral and unreachable,” and you want your party to keep losing again and again, because without any connection or healing of division or understanding, this is going to be it going forward? What do you want? Where do you want to go from here?

I’m tired of being in the only party that keeps looking for connection and healing. At least for now, I’m writing people off.

OP here. When I think about my family members who voted for Trump, I don’t think they want disconnect. They’ve never stopped talking to me or inviting me or wanting good things for me and my family. I think they are hurt that “people think I’m racist because I voted for Trump” but they can’t make the connection because, to them, racism means white hoods and burning crosses, and nothing else. Sexism means you, personally, wouldn’t hire a woman or have made a woman uncomfortable at work.

So I would say the Trump voters I know want more unity and for the tension to lessen, but they think that means liberals should “get over” Trump, and they genuinely don’t see why that is problematic. They think it’s “the same” as if Trump were John McCain or Mitt Romney or someone else who ran for president as Republican in recent memories. They truly don’t get why This is Different.

So given how everyone thinks and feels and views “the other side,” what is the actual best and most productive way forward? Do you honestly think “writing people off” is going to get Democrats power back in two or four years? How? How would that possibly work?

I'm a Trump voter in DC, OP, and I would say all of this is true. I get that my many Democratic friends are smarting a bit over this election; I've been around long enough to have been on the losing side of many campaigns. But I moved on and so should they.

The country has spoken. Loudly, in fact. If you don't like it, I would submit that you consider how you, your party and other Dems might just be the ones out of step, and do some real soul-searching.

And yes, of course, I expect to move on from this in conversation and can we have lunch next week?

My answer would be no, I will not have lunch with you.

NP—but do you see how we have difficulty accepting that Democrats are the “party of unity” in this moment? If “unity” means you can only have lunch with us when your candidate wins or if we agree with you—then is that “unity”??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have written off the other side. Truly I want nothing to do with these morons who vote against their own interest and those of others

Yup.
It’s a question of morals, not political differences.

OK, so…then what? You want the majority of the country to be “immoral and unreachable,” and you want your party to keep losing again and again, because without any connection or healing of division or understanding, this is going to be it going forward? What do you want? Where do you want to go from here?

I’m tired of being in the only party that keeps looking for connection and healing. At least for now, I’m writing people off.

OP here. When I think about my family members who voted for Trump, I don’t think they want disconnect. They’ve never stopped talking to me or inviting me or wanting good things for me and my family. I think they are hurt that “people think I’m racist because I voted for Trump” but they can’t make the connection because, to them, racism means white hoods and burning crosses, and nothing else. Sexism means you, personally, wouldn’t hire a woman or have made a woman uncomfortable at work.

So I would say the Trump voters I know want more unity and for the tension to lessen, but they think that means liberals should “get over” Trump, and they genuinely don’t see why that is problematic. They think it’s “the same” as if Trump were John McCain or Mitt Romney or someone else who ran for president as Republican in recent memories. They truly don’t get why This is Different.

So given how everyone thinks and feels and views “the other side,” what is the actual best and most productive way forward? Do you honestly think “writing people off” is going to get Democrats power back in two or four years? How? How would that possibly work?

I'm a Trump voter in DC, OP, and I would say all of this is true. I get that my many Democratic friends are smarting a bit over this election; I've been around long enough to have been on the losing side of many campaigns. But I moved on and so should they.

The country has spoken. Loudly, in fact. If you don't like it, I would submit that you consider how you, your party and other Dems might just be the ones out of step, and do some real soul-searching.

And yes, of course, I expect to move on from this in conversation and can we have lunch next week?

My answer would be no, I will not have lunch with you.

NP—but do you see how we have difficulty accepting that Democrats are the “party of unity” in this moment? If “unity” means you can only have lunch with us when your candidate wins or if we agree with you—then is that “unity”??

It didn’t seem like the January 6 crew was interested in having lunch with us in the name of “unity”!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want is simple. I want to not discuss politics nonstop at family get togethers. We voted for Trump. Everyone else in the family voted for Harris. My parents and one of my siblings can only discuss their hatred for Trump now. That’s the only topic of conversation.

I didn’t grow up in a house where politics was the main conversation, ever. There are a lot of grandkids involved. My kids don’t want to go there now since all they do is yell about Trump 24/7. There are millions of other things we can talk about as a family. As the kids about their lives. Come to one of their sports events. I want them to think about life other than Trump.

Dp. That is impodsible now that your Dear Leader is going to be in our face for four years. I hope your family cuts you off.

It’s the opposite. My kids don’t want to see their grandparents and it makes me really sad. It is not because they voted for Harris. It’s because they can’t talk about anything other than politics now and it’s exhausting. We don’t love Trump. I don’t even like him. I regret ever participating in their conversations. But come on, talk to the kids about something else. None of the grandkids can even vote!

How sad you voted for someone you didn't even like. It hasn't even been a week and you expect people to care about your stupid soccer game when the whole world is on fire and so many people are in a world of pain over this one man.

If your kids don't have any empathy than perhaps it is best they stay away from their family. Even if they can't vote your family knows you are all for Trump, the felon and sexual predator. Congrats on your victory. Hope you don't have daughters.

I liked Harris even less. You sound like my family. It’s toxic and this is the type of conversation my children have been hearing for months and are sick of. Frankly, I am sick of it too and try to change the subject.

Are you saying Trump is a better person than Vice President Harris? Trump has raped women and bragged about assaulting them. Trump calls veterans 'suckers'. He calls his opponents childish names. He gets others to do his dirty work so he can deny any involvement. He failed and continues to say the election in 202 was stolen. He has never conceded even today. Harris conceded and is planning on participating in the peaceful transfer of power. That alone should give her more respect than him.

I haven’t read every post but see you responded to mine. I think Trump is an awful person. What I meant is I felt he would be better as a president. Morally, I thought Bill Clinton was an awful person too. As a wife, I don’t see see how Hilary could have stayed with Bill. But I can separate the person from how I think they would run our country. I think Trump would do a better job running the country than Harris. That’s why I voted for him. It was that simple.

As for my family, I think they are behaving poorly in front of their grandchildren. If you reread all of my posts, they never once are trying to cut us off or freeze us out. They just won’t stop the nonstop Trump talk. It’s been going on for months. The grandchildren don’t want to be around it and would like a little attention. OP asked how we move on and i suggested families get back to basics. For example in my situation, it would be nice for grandparents to show interest in grandchildren instead of Trump hate. No, they are not threatening to cut us off. They just want to obsess over politics when the kids don’t care.

Wait what? Why would “an awful person” be a good president?

He was the president before. Things were better. Much better. We have given you reasons. And come on, do you have a job? Don’t you know people who you don’t like as people but they are competent at their job? This is why we aren’t friends with our coworkers. The person next to me has had affairs and is generally nasty to everyone at work. She’d fine to clients and gets the job done. Her personal life doesn’t affect work.

They were not. What Biden policy materially affected you in a negative way. This is the lie you tell yourself to justify why you voted for Trump. You just like him. This is why I don't want to talk politics with you and also why I have lost a lot of respect for you. It's painful, but true. You should deal with that.

+1

Life was worse for many under Trump. You are either OK with that, or you’re lucky to have benefited and too ignorant to recognize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have written off the other side. Truly I want nothing to do with these morons who vote against their own interest and those of others

Yup.
It’s a question of morals, not political differences.

OK, so…then what? You want the majority of the country to be “immoral and unreachable,” and you want your party to keep losing again and again, because without any connection or healing of division or understanding, this is going to be it going forward? What do you want? Where do you want to go from here?

I’m tired of being in the only party that keeps looking for connection and healing. At least for now, I’m writing people off.

OP here. When I think about my family members who voted for Trump, I don’t think they want disconnect. They’ve never stopped talking to me or inviting me or wanting good things for me and my family. I think they are hurt that “people think I’m racist because I voted for Trump” but they can’t make the connection because, to them, racism means white hoods and burning crosses, and nothing else. Sexism means you, personally, wouldn’t hire a woman or have made a woman uncomfortable at work.

So I would say the Trump voters I know want more unity and for the tension to lessen, but they think that means liberals should “get over” Trump, and they genuinely don’t see why that is problematic. They think it’s “the same” as if Trump were John McCain or Mitt Romney or someone else who ran for president as Republican in recent memories. They truly don’t get why This is Different.

So given how everyone thinks and feels and views “the other side,” what is the actual best and most productive way forward? Do you honestly think “writing people off” is going to get Democrats power back in two or four years? How? How would that possibly work?

I'm a Trump voter in DC, OP, and I would say all of this is true. I get that my many Democratic friends are smarting a bit over this election; I've been around long enough to have been on the losing side of many campaigns. But I moved on and so should they.

The country has spoken. Loudly, in fact. If you don't like it, I would submit that you consider how you, your party and other Dems might just be the ones out of step, and do some real soul-searching.

And yes, of course, I expect to move on from this in conversation and can we have lunch next week?

My answer would be no, I will not have lunch with you.

NP—but do you see how we have difficulty accepting that Democrats are the “party of unity” in this moment? If “unity” means you can only have lunch with us when your candidate wins or if we agree with you—then is that “unity”??

I listened and debated and all of that for many years. Before during and after Trump’s first presidency. I have seen democratic leaders work hard to try to make life better for every American (although admittedly making mistakes along the way), but have only seen MAGA try to hurt others they disagree with. I am just done. You have crossed the rubicon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would maintain friendships with liberals but I have received angry messages calling me a racist from two liberal friends this week because I wouldn’t tell them who I voted for. You’ll have to ask them.

I bet they chortled over the ad the told women that the voting both was private and no one would know who they voted for.

So much tolerance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My H is a conservative Republican cop, I’m a middle of the road Democrat.

My H cut off all Trump supporters in 2016.

I cut off rabid racism, bigots, etc… which became clear under Trumps 1st term since they became emboldened.

I still have a few Trump former voting friends.

Two didn’t vote this year.
Two I’m done with but one is a neighbor so I’ll be neighborly.
My Trumpy brother didn’t vote
My Trumpy SIL is a religious zealot and I rarely see her anyway since my brother died.

I have a few friends with Trumpy husbands and I get together with them but not their H’s.

I have found by shedding myself of selfish, bigoted, anti-gay, religious zealots, and generally ignorant people I have opened myself up to make new friends and take on new hobbies.

It’s actually been amazing. I found that maybe I was in a rut just hanging out with some old friends that I’ve had since childhood and it’s been really refreshing to me to meet amazing intelligent thoughtful women.

I had to cut off most of my husband’s family during the me two movement because they continue to invite a rapist to holidays.

I love my new full positive healthy life. We tell our kids to pick their friends wisely and I’m proud of myself for modeling that for them even though it’s hard.

Thanks for posting this. I’m glad I’m not alone.

In 2016 I gave people the benefit of the doubt. But this time I’m cutting ties.

I cancelled hosting family Thanksgiving for MAGA relatives.

I’m also cutting off friends who voted for him because you can’t be my friend and take away my daughter’s reproductive rights.

But I may actually expand my circle of friends because a few of like minded women reached out to get together.

[Anonymous]

America was divided when Trump was elected in 2016 and Republicans still couldn’t find someone else to represent them.

Out of ALL the people you could not find another candidate?!

You HAD to pick the felon, who staged the coup, the guy who put his family into government positions of power, who was on Epsteins plane logs 7 times, the one who stores classified documents in his guest bathroom?!

There were no better candidates?

You picked him and you are asking for respect and unity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:America was divided when Trump was elected in 2016 and Republicans still couldn’t find someone else to represent them.

Out of ALL the people you could not find another candidate?!

You HAD to pick the felon, who staged the coup, the guy who put his family into government positions of power, who was on Epsteins plane logs 7 times, the one who stores classified documents in his guest bathroom?!

There were no better candidates?

You picked him and you are asking for respect and unity?

Please understand that “we” are not asking for unity.
We are pointing out that democrats have Literally been campaigning on “bringing the country together” and “party of unity” as they simultaneously characterize Trump voters as racist misogynistic garbage sooooo….
Yeah. The unity part is united in hatred for Trump voters.
If your candidate had won, you’d be happy. We get that.
But she didn’t.

[Anonymous]

You all voted for someone who has no interest in unity or following the law. There was no interest in unity from republicans- just punishing those who disagreed with them. So we are now expecting the punishment- why would we seek unity now? The republicans have to seek that as the winners and the ones who pledged retribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want is simple. I want to not discuss politics nonstop at family get togethers. We voted for Trump. Everyone else in the family voted for Harris. My parents and one of my siblings can only discuss their hatred for Trump now. That’s the only topic of conversation.

I didn’t grow up in a house where politics was the main conversation, ever. There are a lot of grandkids involved. My kids don’t want to go there now since all they do is yell about Trump 24/7. There are millions of other things we can talk about as a family. As the kids about their lives. Come to one of their sports events. I want them to think about life other than Trump.

Dp. That is impodsible now that your Dear Leader is going to be in our face for four years. I hope your family cuts you off.

It’s the opposite. My kids don’t want to see their grandparents and it makes me really sad. It is not because they voted for Harris. It’s because they can’t talk about anything other than politics now and it’s exhausting. We don’t love Trump. I don’t even like him. I regret ever participating in their conversations. But come on, talk to the kids about something else. None of the grandkids can even vote!

How sad you voted for someone you didn't even like. It hasn't even been a week and you expect people to care about your stupid soccer game when the whole world is on fire and so many people are in a world of pain over this one man.

If your kids don't have any empathy than perhaps it is best they stay away from their family. Even if they can't vote your family knows you are all for Trump, the felon and sexual predator. Congrats on your victory. Hope you don't have daughters.

I liked Harris even less. You sound like my family. It’s toxic and this is the type of conversation my children have been hearing for months and are sick of. Frankly, I am sick of it too and try to change the subject.

Are you saying Trump is a better person than Vice President Harris? Trump has raped women and bragged about assaulting them. Trump calls veterans 'suckers'. He calls his opponents childish names. He gets others to do his dirty work so he can deny any involvement. He failed and continues to say the election in 202 was stolen. He has never conceded even today. Harris conceded and is planning on participating in the peaceful transfer of power. That alone should give her more respect than him.

I haven’t read every post but see you responded to mine. I think Trump is an awful person. What I meant is I felt he would be better as a president. Morally, I thought Bill Clinton was an awful person too. As a wife, I don’t see see how Hilary could have stayed with Bill. But I can separate the person from how I think they would run our country. I think Trump would do a better job running the country than Harris. That’s why I voted for him. It was that simple.

As for my family, I think they are behaving poorly in front of their grandchildren. If you reread all of my posts, they never once are trying to cut us off or freeze us out. They just won’t stop the nonstop Trump talk. It’s been going on for months. The grandchildren don’t want to be around it and would like a little attention. OP asked how we move on and i suggested families get back to basics. For example in my situation, it would be nice for grandparents to show interest in grandchildren instead of Trump hate. No, they are not threatening to cut us off. They just want to obsess over politics when the kids don’t care.

Wait what? Why would “an awful person” be a good president?

Right ?

Is it because he ran this country so well last time we ended up with
abortion ban, 8 trillion added to debt and complete mishandling of global pandemic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:America was divided when Trump was elected in 2016 and Republicans still couldn’t find someone else to represent them.

Out of ALL the people you could not find another candidate?!

You HAD to pick the felon, who staged the coup, the guy who put his family into government positions of power, who was on Epsteins plane logs 7 times, the one who stores classified documents in his guest bathroom?!

There were no better candidates?

You picked him and you are asking for respect and unity?

Please understand that “we” are not asking for unity.
We are pointing out that democrats have Literally been campaigning on “bringing the country together” and “party of unity” as they simultaneously characterize Trump voters as racist misogynistic garbage sooooo….
Yeah. The unity part is united in hatred for Trump voters.
If your candidate had won, you’d be happy. We get that.
But she didn’t.

Truth is the best defense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Please understand that “we” are not asking for unity.
We are pointing out that democrats have Literally been campaigning on “bringing the country together” and “party of unity” as they simultaneously characterize Trump voters as racist misogynistic garbage sooooo….
Yeah. The unity part is united in hatred for Trump voters.
If your candidate had won, you’d be happy. We get that.
But she didn’t.

. Please understand that there will never be unity with Trump. Ever. Never. Ever.

It’s like electing Hitler and expecting a Nobel Peace Prize.

We wanted unity with some other candidate. I would have gone for with unity with Nicky Haley, for example. But no, you had to pick the monster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:America was divided when Trump was elected in 2016 and Republicans still couldn’t find someone else to represent them.

Out of ALL the people you could not find another candidate?!

You HAD to pick the felon, who staged the coup, the guy who put his family into government positions of power, who was on Epsteins plane logs 7 times, the one who stores classified documents in his guest bathroom?!

There were no better candidates?

You picked him and you are asking for respect and unity?

Please understand that “we” are not asking for unity.
We are pointing out that democrats have Literally been campaigning on “bringing the country together” and “party of unity” as they simultaneously characterize Trump voters as racist misogynistic garbage sooooo….
Yeah. The unity part is united in hatred for Trump voters.
If your candidate had won, you’d be happy. We get that.
But she didn’t.

You don't get shit. Joe asked for unity along time ago. You all declined. J6 was egregious enough but just the beginning. If Harris had won, we'd have been relieved more than anything, but also bracing for whatever next-level BS you Trumpers would try then. No way you would have accepted peacefully. Funny how all those things Trump told you about the election system are all fine now. Cause it was always fine and he's just a liar.

United in hatred is correct...for Trump voters. Trump voters are united in hatred of anyone who isn't them. Dems just want to keep this country going and adhere to the basic principles that make it work. Dems are mostly horrified that you think Trump is fit to run the country and that you think all he says and does is ok. It's not. Dems aren't talking about unity anymore, because there is no use with the likes of Trumpers. You are not reasonable and not trustworthy on any level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all voted for someone who has no interest in unity or following the law. There was no interest in unity from republicans- just punishing those who disagreed with them. So we are now expecting the punishment- why would we seek unity now? The republicans have to seek that as the winners and the ones who pledged retribution.

Punishment is for those that have committed a crime or done wrong. Trump deserves punishment.
J6 rioters deserve punishment. But who are Trumpers after? People who aren't *loyal* to Trump. People who dared speak the *truth* about Trump. So punishment isn't the right word. It's vengeance for refusing to bend the knee. It's persecution. It ain't punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:America was divided when Trump was elected in 2016 and Republicans still couldn’t find someone else to represent them.

Out of ALL the people you could not find another candidate?!

You HAD to pick the felon, who staged the coup, the guy who put his family into government positions of power, who was on Epsteins plane logs 7 times, the one who stores classified documents in his guest bathroom?!

There were no better candidates?

You picked him and you are asking for respect and unity?

Please understand that “we” are not asking for unity.
We are pointing out that democrats have Literally been campaigning on “bringing the country together” and “party of unity” as they simultaneously characterize Trump voters as racist misogynistic garbage sooooo….
Yeah. The unity part is united in hatred for Trump voters.
If your candidate had won, you’d be happy. We get that.
But she didn’t.

You don't get shit. Joe asked for unity along time ago. You all declined. J6 was egregious enough but just the beginning. If Harris had won, we'd have been relieved more than anything, but also bracing for whatever next-level BS you Trumpers would try then. No way you would have accepted peacefully. Funny how all those things Trump told you about the election system are all fine now. Cause it was always fine and he's just a liar.

United in hatred is correct...for Trump voters. Trump voters are united in hatred of anyone who isn't them. Dems just want to keep this country going and adhere to the basic principles that make it work. Dems are mostly horrified that you think Trump is fit to run the country and that you think all he says and does is ok. It's not. Dems aren't talking about unity anymore, because there is no use with the likes of Trumpers. You are not reasonable and not trustworthy on any level.

And how dare you support policies that ensure my teenage daughter has fewer rights than I did growing up!

You’re in bed with monsters.