That true boo |
You wanna fight? |
You sound like you’re from the NE. You grew up in a rat race and don’t know a better life. You grew up around long commutes, a nanny raising the kids, dual income, needing to send kids out of state for college because of a lack of in-stage options etc. You’d be shocked what a world of difference it is growing up somewhere less chaotic with only two kids. |
This post made me laugh. Oh to be a young parent and so naive. I'm guessing that your kids are toddlers, or you have a baby only. If you have 1-2 kids in any sports or activities, the nice family dinner thing goes out the window. |
All of this |
I am from the northeast. My mom worked locally and had a flexible schedule, we did not have a nanny, my dad did have a long commute to Manhattan. We went to private school and all of us went to college in Manhattan - two of us to Columbia and two to NYU. As an adult, my husband and I work from home. We have a nanny for childcare but we are also around. Yes, living is expensive and we need two incomes. We try very hard to be present for our kids. I understand that two kids is less chaotic because I have two kids. But I also love having more than one sibling. I’m simply acknowledging that there is more than one successful way to raise a family - that includes size, location, working parents vs stay at home parents, etc. besides, dc doesn’t sound all that different from the northeast. In fact, it sounds like the parents are so intense that they can only imagine hyper-parenting two kids. |
Having 3+ kids and having fully booked kids are two separate issues, not really helpful to conflate them in this discussion. We have three young kids and all they do is piano once a week, that works fine for us for now. Our neighbors have three kids and they have multiple travel sports and dance competitions, they are happy. Realistically their extra curricular options will be limited by schedules and money constraints. I personally have found that the limitations and sacrifices that come from family needs are really healthy for the kids and that in fact they understand and appreciate things better.
Here is how we make it work: 1. We live in a slightly more affordable exurb with good public schools (Anne arundel county) 2. I work from home and work part time at a good paying technical job where I had accumulated 10 years of seniority which allows me the flexibility. Dh is a fed who goes in once a week. He takes over from 6pm on. 3. We have a modest house and outsource a lot of cleaning. 4. We are saving for college but will only be able to find state schools absent merit aid. This is the logistics of how we make it work. As you can see we have made some sacrifices but it has been the absolute best thing for our family to add a third. |
You’re missing the point. Even a third child having one activity is one more activity to juggle. Two is manageable and the third is where it starts to become unmanageable. |
For YOU. There is no universal cut off. Some people feel that one is their threshold. Some feel it’s two. And believe it or not, some people have the capacity to raise more than two kids. How come you aren’t here lamenting that your second kid takes away so much attention from your first? Also, there are benefits to having more than two kids. There are benefits to learning to cooperate in a group and understanding to have to factor in other people’s needs. My sister in law - one of two - is one of the most self absorbed people I know because she and my husband never needed to learn this critical skill growing up. |
To say that a third is unmanageable is to ignore all the people on this thread saying they manage 3 and explaining. PP you quoted manages it by limiting the kids to (for now) one activity. And they like teaching their kids that limits on activities are good. Other people in this thread (and PP's neighbor) do more and manage it various ways. |
This has way more to do with parenting and personality as opposed to number of children. Also, a lot of these things you speak of can be learned in school… |
People come on DCUM all the time to lament that there aren't packs of kids running the neighborhood so kids can learn those group cooperation and coordination skills. Then when someone asks about having a third a (hopefully different set of people) lament goes up that there won't be time for all 3 kids to both go to Juliard AND be D1 athletic commits at a T10 university. |
Yes- everything has to do with parenting and personality vs number of kids. It’s not like 2 is 0 and 3 is 10. It’s a difference of one child. It also depends on financial resources and spacing of the children. There are a lot of factors and it’s just silly to be so certain that 3 leads to some kind of quality control issue. It’s based on many factors which will vary by family. My sister runs a venture capitalist firm and her husband is an oncologist. They have three amazing, bright teenagers who are well adjusted, do well at school, and are close to each other. The kids love being from a family of 3 kids and both my sister and her and kids encouraged me to have more than 2. It’s a personal decision and equation. |
I’m reacting to your post because you are speaking about something that you have not experienced in a one-sided, condescending, and arrogant way. My point is that your family dinner example does not take into account lifestyle choices that structurally would impede family dinner. Having another kid does not impede family dinner if no one does travel sports and both parents can get home from work at a reasonable hour. No one sticks with two kids because they wouldn’t be able to have family dinners. |
I did too. Where did you play? You didn’t. If you did you would know club activities start at 4/5. You’re a troll and the only point you’ve made is that you’re a troll. |