What is this generation’s obsession with height about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Unfortunately made varsity in his sport as freshman - so drubbing the big guys in their sport of choice has inflicted some of the abuse - but doesn’t explain it all.

Thanks to PP who said parents act like height is an accomplishment. He works really hard in his sport and is pretty solid citizen. But the daily - sounds like hourly on some days - emphasis makes me doubt humanity sometimes. Are we really this primal?

Had some acquaintances who went on and on and on about how tall their son was when the boys were playing AAA Hockey as U14?15? (Can't exactly remember). He was...but they failed to notice that he stopped growing for almost a year and by the time they took him to have him checked, too late. He's 5'7" now at 23. Lots of early puberty and absurd focus on height, but it's not always what they think it wiil be.

Also: there's really nothing wrong with whatever your height is as long as nobody has given you a complex about it.

You're the problem PP. Why did they need to have him checked? Too late for what? 5'7'' is not that short and even if it is who cares? It's not a defect to be small as a boy or tall as a girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Unfortunately made varsity in his sport as freshman - so drubbing the big guys in their sport of choice has inflicted some of the abuse - but doesn’t explain it all.

Thanks to PP who said parents act like height is an accomplishment. He works really hard in his sport and is pretty solid citizen. But the daily - sounds like hourly on some days - emphasis makes me doubt humanity sometimes. Are we really this primal?

Had some acquaintances who went on and on and on about how tall their son was when the boys were playing AAA Hockey as U14?15? (Can't exactly remember). He was...but they failed to notice that he stopped growing for almost a year and by the time they took him to have him checked, too late. He's 5'7" now at 23. Lots of early puberty and absurd focus on height, but it's not always what they think it wiil be.

Also: there's really nothing wrong with whatever your height is as long as nobody has given you a complex about it.

It’s actually pretty common for early bloomer boys to be about done growing height-wise by 14/15. Nothing to be concerned about medically.

IME watching my two DSs and their friends, height at age 14 doesn’t mean much- with the exception of the boys that are already super tall (obviously they will be tall- they already are!) Some of the shorter ones at that age end up outgrowing the tallish ones. And of course some don’t. Anecdotally, it always seems to be the skinny ones that just grow and grow and grow all the way through high school.

[Anonymous]

I come from a mostly tall family but there are three notable exceptions- me, my daughter and my niece, all 5’2”. I have three sisters 5’9” and a brother 6’2”. Their children are even taller. There’s a random gene that can come out without warning and you got a short kid.

The one thing my mean younger sisters called me was limbs because my arms and legs were skinny and awkward. No real height jokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately it’s mostly sports. Our varsity baseball coach told a few juniors last year that, were they an inch or two taller, they would’ve made the team. So it had nothing to do with their ability or work ethic- just height

Definitely NOT true in my situation. My son was 5"6 when he played the #1 position at his HS and won the state 6A championship in tennis as a freshman. He was 5"9 when he graduated from high school. The coach couldn't keep him off the team because he easily beat everyone at the tryout as a freshman. Coaches have very little control in individual sports because of head-to-head records.

Height doesn't matter in tennis. Are you really comparing the importance of height in basketball, which is what others were discussing, to tennis?

It matters in tennis too. Taller guys have better reach and bigger guys have faster serves. Top ATP guys are generally all 6 foot or over.

You need to get out more often. There are many Asian players on the tennis rosters in Fairfax County Public School that are NOT tall. The kid that won three state 6A championship from Chantilly HS is barely 5”8’.

Height and strength matter in tennis. They are not the only factors, though. Yeah, a 5'8 kid can beat 6'3 powerhouses if they've had years and years of private lessons.

It can be an advantage, but there are many advantages people can build on in tennis. I’ve seen plenty of shorter men’s players that are excellent in high school and college.

[Anonymous]

Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

British men are usually very ugly though. So it's a good thing they are tall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

I find this very hard to believe. I know a LOT of men who are shorter than 5’9” - happy successful and married with families etc. Various careers and income levels. I think greater height is of course an advantage, but is not nearly as big of a deal IRL as described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the UMC emphasis on fitting in.

I'm a tall woman and graduated from an UMC private in 1989; any girls who were taller than average or boys who were shorter than average were really given a hard time. I would have loved to have attended an average public school instead.

Not being average or taller for boys, or average or shorter for girls is an issue for the UMC. My DC metro based relatives expressed horror that their dd could potentially be my size and were super happy when she stopped growing, and is, instead, a "normal" sized girl.

Sorry PP! I am also a tall woman & graduated from an UMC suburban HS and my whole life (to this day actually) ppl have given me sh*t about my height. As if I have anything to do with it! Tall girl empathy for the short kings - anything outside height norms & it triggers tons of convos about your immutable physical characteristics.

A different PP said how "trashy" it was for a MS teacher to crow about a girl's height. Sure, ppl should just stop talking about other people's bodies by and large. But if you're going to talk about it at all, I personally go out of my way as a tall woman to tell young girls who are tall the positive side of it. Cause I guarantee that the rest of the world isn't going out of their way to do so -- they will be saying comments like most of the women on DCUM who are like "oh, I love being so tiny & men love to date petite hotties, I hope my baby girl isn't TOO tall."

Another PP nailed it - they have done research that shows that height is a big negative in the dating world - men who are shorter than average have a penalty in that they have to earn a high salary to compensate. Women who are taller than average? There was no parallel compensation. Just SOL! Guess I'm lucky that my tall DH and I are so compatible.

[Anonymous]

I have such anxiety about this. My 3 year old DS looks like his 1 year old brother in height. He's an awesome, smart, fun kid but I worry about future bullying.

He's come home from daycare repeating comments from his friends about his being small. Thank God he doesnt understand it yet but I have such anxiety about the future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

I find this very hard to believe. I know a LOT of men who are shorter than 5’9” - happy successful and married with families etc. Various careers and income levels. I think greater height is of course an advantage, but is not nearly as big of a deal IRL as described.

How old are you?

I think there is a difference between over 45 and under 35

And secondly yes I know many under 5’8 men who are married with families - they are all MDs, attorneys or very successful finance/tech professionals (ie none make under 300)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

I find this very hard to believe. I know a LOT of men who are shorter than 5’9” - happy successful and married with families etc. Various careers and income levels. I think greater height is of course an advantage, but is not nearly as big of a deal IRL as described.

I can give you the venues I was at — royal opera, Tate Britain, British museum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

I find this very hard to believe. I know a LOT of men who are shorter than 5’9” - happy successful and married with families etc. Various careers and income levels. I think greater height is of course an advantage, but is not nearly as big of a deal IRL as described.

How old are you?

I think there is a difference between over 45 and under 35

And secondly yes I know many under 5’8 men who are married with families - they are all MDs, attorneys or very successful finance/tech professionals (ie none make under 300)

What are you saying? MC short men don't exist, or MC short men should just go hide behind a rock because their life is over and they'll never find a wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the UMC emphasis on fitting in.

I'm a tall woman and graduated from an UMC private in 1989; any girls who were taller than average or boys who were shorter than average were really given a hard time. I would have loved to have attended an average public school instead.

Not being average or taller for boys, or average or shorter for girls is an issue for the UMC. My DC metro based relatives expressed horror that their dd could potentially be my size and were super happy when she stopped growing, and is, instead, a "normal" sized girl.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

I find this very hard to believe. I know a LOT of men who are shorter than 5’9” - happy successful and married with families etc. Various careers and income levels. I think greater height is of course an advantage, but is not nearly as big of a deal IRL as described.

How old are you?

I think there is a difference between over 45 and under 35

And secondly yes I know many under 5’8 men who are married with families - they are all MDs, attorneys or very successful finance/tech professionals (ie none make under 300)

What are you saying? MC short men don't exist, or MC short men should just go hide behind a rock because their life is over and they'll never find a wife?

My point is to support what others have said in this thread - that for younger people there seems to be a starker height penalty than it was for gen x or older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got back from London and wanted to share my observations:

I went to many events - opera, museums, work stuff etc and I didn’t see a single family (or couple) where the guy was under 5’9 unless it was an immigrant couple.

The height penalty is acute and can be overcome through money or status but I think the honest thing you can tell short sons is in 2024, below avg height must be compensated with excellent career/money prospects

I find this very hard to believe. I know a LOT of men who are shorter than 5’9” - happy successful and married with families etc. Various careers and income levels. I think greater height is of course an advantage, but is not nearly as big of a deal IRL as described.

How old are you?

I think there is a difference between over 45 and under 35

And secondly yes I know many under 5’8 men who are married with families - they are all MDs, attorneys or very successful finance/tech professionals (ie none make under 300)

What are you saying? MC short men don't exist, or MC short men should just go hide behind a rock because their life is over and they'll never find a wife?

My point is to support what others have said in this thread - that for younger people there seems to be a starker height penalty than it was for gen x or older

I think younger people tend to be more shallow, are just dating after all- and are not thinking big picture. After all, there aren’t nearly enough 6ft+ men to go around. Not nearly.

I also think most women have a skewed perception of mens’ heights. I’m 5’5” and can’t easily tell the difference between say- 5’10” and 6’0” or any height difference within 2in or so at a glance. My BFF is a true 5’10” and says most guys lie about their heights. Many her height claim to be 6ft lol. Unlike shorter/average women she can tell pretty easily just based on her own height.

I’ve noticed this more recently as my teen DS is in the middle of a growth spurt and is 5’9” (measured at recent well visit). When we are out and about, I notice the VAST majority of men are somewhere around his height (which would not be all that surprising given the average is 5’9” or 5’10” I think).

My guess is lots of women are dating guys they think are 6’0” but he is actually like 5’10” (which is a perfectly fine height) lol. Or dating a guy they think is 5’10” but he’s actually 5’8” or whatever. It is hard to tell once a guy is 4+ inches taller than you, unless you see him standing right next to a person whose height you are sure of.