Angonizing and being wimpy about firing the cleaning lady

[Meconbear]

I love my cleaning lady. She's come every Tuesday for three years, loves our son, and is so sweet. However, she doesn't do a particularly good job with the house. She spends about an hour at my house doing the bathroom, floors, kitchen and changes the sheets on our bed (not our son's since that wasn't part of the agreement when she started). She only does the main level of our house and gets paid $75. Based on what I've been hearing on listservs, I can get a housekeeper to come for four hours for $100 who will do all that AND dust and do laundry (and come highly recommended, which I would not do for my cleaning lady). I don't think our present cleaning lady will ever get that much better. Some neighbors with long-time cleaning help say that I should just start listing what she should do rather than letting her go. I did remind her to take out the trash a couple of times and she's been better about that. Oh, and she's petrified of the dog, who has to be locked in the basement (where the washer and dryer are, precluding her doing the laundry) whenever she comes. What does everyone think?

[Anonymous]

Meconbear wrote:I love my cleaning lady. She's come every Tuesday for three years, loves our son, and is so sweet. However, she doesn't do a particularly good job with the house.

I think you answered your own question about what to do with the cleaning lady. Not to oversimplify, but if something isn't working, it isn't working and waiting another year won't change anything either.

As for how to tell her, I'd just be honest and say that with your son getting more active and the house getting more wear and tear from him (or your schedule, or whatever) you need someone who will do top to bottom cleaning, including your laundry, without you having to lock the dog away. Let her know you have a friend who recommended someone who can do all those things and isn't afraid of the dog, and you appreciate her hard work but you'll no longer need her services. You don't have to be mean, just be businesslike. Who knows, maybe she dreads cleaning your house because she dislikes the dog, and this will be a relief for her too?

If all else fails, the best way to deliver bad news is like a sandwich: Something nice about her, the bad news/ thing you want changed, something nice about her. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

$75 for one hour of not particularly good cleaning of one floor of your house is ridiculous. I pay $100 to my cleaning lady who comes every two weeks and cleans the three floors of my home top to bottom. She changes sheets, she takes out the trash, she cleans the bathtub whether or not it 'looks' like anyone has been in it, and she comes with all her own cleaning supplies including vacuum and mop. I actually had to ask her not to do our laundry b/c (don't ask) that is just something I prefer to do myself. I trust her completely and have no idea how long it takes her to clean my house as she comes in while I am at work. One thing to keep in mind when you hire a new cleaner is to negotiate a rate to clean the house, not an hourly rate.

[Anonymous]

PP, Is your cleaning lady looking for more clients??

[Anonymous]

12:08 poster here. I don't know if Elsa is taking new clients, but I can ask her the next time she comes to my place (the 28th) and post back here. Let me know if you are in DC, MD or VA. I know she does DC and MD, not sure if she does VA. The only drawback might be that her English is not great, but you won't have any problem communicating your housecleaning needs.

[Meconbear]

OP here. I know, I'm a total sucker. I've always been confused as to what is ok to ask of the cleaning lady. Are these things standard:
- dusting
- wiping baseboards
- windows
- wiping down the inside of the refrigerator.

Also, if I let her go, how should I do it? I'm not usually home when she comes (Tuesday mornings). Should I stay home one day and talk to her? Leave her a note (that seems kind of mean considering she's been with us for three years). I swear, I don't have this much angst filling out people's performance reviews at work, but feel like I'm taking food out her kid's mouth for letting her go.

[Anonymous]

If you let her go, I'd do it in person. If you want to try to keep working with her I don't think that's unreasonable either. My parents were by no means wealthy but were able to afford some domestic help. My mom continued employinh a lady who helped with housework and did ironing but who was also blind as a bat and not that great at cleaning for a number of years, out of fondness and loyalty.

[Anonymous]

OP- The only one of those in your list I would consider "standard" is dusting. We recently had a similar problem with our cleaning lady and I ended up writing her a note trying to explain what I wanted cleaned each week (she or her husband would sometimes clean and organize the refrigerator and NOT clean the toilet!). Anyway, I tried to be nice, but she got annoyed and left me a LONG note in response saying she did not think any of the things I mentioned were an issue. HOWEVER, ever since then, the house has been much cleaner and she does a much better job than before. I would have preferred to talk with her in person because I do think she took the note the wrong way, but I am never home when she comes and they never answer their phone!

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally know how you feel. I've been in that exact situation (loved our employee's sweetness, etc). The situation only resolved itself because we moved cross country.

but that taught me something for the next go-round, which is, write everything down.

Here's a question for OP -- does she do a good job at the things she DOES do? ie, is your sink sparkling clean, but then the floor is not because it was forgotten? Or is it that she does a half-assed job at the tasks undertaken?

If it's the former, my advice would be to re-negotiate the contract. Have an in-person sit-down. Offer new duties for new increased pay. Make SURE those duties are detailed, and have them translated into a native language if necessary. ie, not "clean the bathroom" but "clean toilet. clean sink with Comet. Mop bathroom floor with Swiffer." etc.

I would write the items down in a checklist format, and print out several copies. Give her one each week.

You might say that you realize these new duties will take her longer, which is why you are prepared to offer X money in compensation.

(As an aside, I personally think too few employers offer cost of living raises to their housecleaners, 4% or whatever).

Anyway, if she agrees, give it a few weeks to see how it's working. If it's still not, then, well ...

[Anonymous]

if you're a complete wimp about talking to her, you can always take the easy way out and tell her you decided you can't afford a housecleaner anymore...nothing about her.

$100 for one hour does sound like a bit too much. My housecleaner charges $100 for the whole house (it is a small rowhouse) but it's sparkling. i am not sure how long she stays but at least three hours.

[Anonymous]

My housekeeper comes in once a week, cleans 2 levels of the house (about 3000sq.ft), and charges $100 for it. I believe she spend about 3 hours doing everything (vacuuming, mopping, dusting, changing and washing sheets and towels, doing dishes, cleaning 3 bathrooms). Occasionally, she even organizes my (very messy) cabinets. And she is not scared of our our not-very-friendly German Shepherd.

Bottom line: you can get much better service for what you are paying now.

[Anonymous]

Meconbear wrote:OP here. I know, I'm a total sucker. I've always been confused as to what is ok to ask of the cleaning lady. Are these things standard:
- dusting
- wiping baseboards
- windows
- wiping down the inside of the refrigerator.

Also, if I let her go, how should I do it? I'm not usually home when she comes (Tuesday mornings). Should I stay home one day and talk to her? Leave her a note (that seems kind of mean considering she's been with us for three years). I swear, I don't have this much angst filling out people's performance reviews at work, but feel like I'm taking food out her kid's mouth for letting her go.

I agree with the PP who said that dusting is the only one of those tasks that is standard. That's my experience based on having a number of different cleaning ladies in different areas. And paying $75 for one hour of cleaning is ridiculous! I currently pay $100 for two women to clean my house, which is about 3000 SF. They take 2 hours, so they are making $25 an hour apiece. That's a bit more than I've paid in the past. My favorite housekeeper, in California, charged $20 an hour and stayed for 4 hours.

I myself would let her go, and do it in person. You will need to get your key back from her anyway, and it's kinder to do it in person. I would be straightforward about the reasons you're letting her go. Good luck! I'm wimpy about those things myself.

[Anonymous]

Have you talked with her about this? I know you said you don't think it will get much better...but is there a reason you think that? Here's the thing. Most people I know pay about $100 for every other week. We use a service, and that is what we pay for a 1500 square foot main level and about 750 square foot finished basement. They do all the floors (vacuum/mop), clean the bathrooms, they dust everything, wipe baseboards, and clean the appliances. They do not do windows, or wipe the inside of things like the refrigeratror. They aren't perfect, but I agree you are paying way too much for what you get.

What if you offered to raise her pay to $100, but list off your increased expectations? If she won't meet them, then tell her you need to find someone else. But yes, the conversation should happen in person (or at least by phone, if you absolutely can't meet with her).