Husband didn't want to know baby's sex and i slipped!

[Anonymous]

I feel soooo bad right now. He didn't want to know, so for the past 8 months I have been the only one who knows. I have been sooo careful, always saying "the baby" or "it." We were having the most casual conversation in the world and bam! there it was: I used the pronoun. He said, "Now I get to choose the name." (That was not a deal we agreed to). I hope he's kidding, but I think he's feels really bad and I am so disappointed in myself. He really wanted to be surprised and I wanted that for him too.



I hope this doesn't hurt so much tomorrow. It feels like I ran a marathon and gave up right before the finish line. My due date is 4 weeks away and I have been getting excited. I'm sure that is part of why I got so careless. I am wondering if I had unconscious reasons for slipping, but in reality, this is a hard secret to keep!

Any advice/words of wisdom? Am I being too hard on myself?

[Anonymous]

You're being too hard on yourself. It's hard, at that far along in the pregnancy, to use "the baby" or "it," when you've known (presumably for the past 4 months or so?) whether it's a boy or a girl. I don't think it's fair that your husband would get to pick the name because of your natural slip-up. My 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about it and relax. You didn't do anything wrong. Hang in there. Another 4 weeks to go and you'll be the parents of a happy, healthy baby!

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks! And to be accurate, yes, i have known since about 20 or 21 weeks, not the entire 8 months as my original post states! I think we are having what we hoped we were having anyway...Hopefully, he will feel excited about the baby and not disappointed about not being surprised...

[Anonymous]

So it sucks that you slipped and if I was your husband I would be disappointed to, it's only natural. We didn't find out with our first and I'm leaning the same way with my second. We have decided that either we both find out or neither of us do for your exact situation, it's just too hard of a secret to keep.

Of course your husband is going to get over it and in a month or so will be so excited to meet him or her that he will forget about it. Let him work through it and don't beat yourself up. If you are still the only two that know, do you think yo can keep it a secret from everyone else for the remainder of your pregnancy? That way he can still make the big announcements after the baby is born. Good luck!