Duggars having another. Miracle of god, and all that.

[Anonymous]

Will you apologize and blush if I clarify that English is my 3rd language? Now if you please concentrate on the content of my post and not my faulty grammar we can certainly keep this conversation at a good level. There's no money to be refunded since I learned English all by myself. What languages have you learned on your own?

Anonymous wrote:"The problem is that people don't seem to be able to understand that there's a middle ground.

My mom is one in 16 born alive children and my dad is one in 12. All these children went to public school and 2/3 of them went to college. 1/3 of them have a masters or equivalent and they were all born between 1948-1970.

All the women are hapily married and from all the men just 3 are single or divorced. The largest family among my uncles/aunts and cousins has 4 children.

We're a humongous loving family. We're all well adjusted, fruitful memers of society. The only member of our family who was incarcerated was so because he failed to pay child support (he gave the money to his child who spent it instead of giving it to his mom - it took a week to sort it out) and another cousin was shot to death after a fight at school. Besides this two episodes I can assure you, we're a pretty happy crowd.

We should be wise to watch others and learn from their example even if we don't agree with some of their choices. We all would be happier if we developed such skill. Instead, we get defensive and bitter living in misery. We should be more humble and accept our weaknesses instead of point at other's defects. "

Yikes! Where did you go to school? Ask for a refund and PLEASE take a writing course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A neighbor and good friend of mine was in a family like the Duggars. They did homeschooling, severe censorship (she wasn't allowed at my home which was a very wholesome place), many children and the oldest ones cared from the youngest. The girls were expected to marry and start all over again rather than persuing higher ed.

After she graduated from homeschool she took out student loans, put her self through college and law school and is now a sucessful and single lawyer at the age of 30. I'm so proud of her. She got a bit of outside influence from neighborhood friends and friends at dance classes...maybe that helped give her a perspective outside of that religion.

That rocks. So does her family speak to her?

Yep...I don't know if there is any strain though.

The uptight townsfolk in Footloose were right! Dancing really is the devil's playground, or something like that. Damn you, John Lithgow/Dennis Quaid. Damn you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's called BALANCE.

I know a family with 8 kids and another with 6 kids. In this day, that's large. Can I have conversations with these mothers that reach BEYOND their children? no It's all about their children. And I suppose it will be like that for many years to come. They're often disorganized, or they're so in control they're militant. Either way, the kids in both families are not necessarily better off - and money is not an issue, as neither mother works.

I don't define myself by one thing. But when you have so many kids, you're FORCED to define yourself as mother only b/c there's nothing left of you to give to yourself. THAT'S healthy?

That's true of MANY mothers with only one or two kids - welcome to DCUM where we drone on ad nauseum about our special snowflakes!!

Also, what is the precise number of kids that FORCES you do define yourself as a mother because there's nothing else left? It sounds like 6 is for sure, based on the one family you know with 6 kids. So how about 5 kids? I'm just wondering b/c I have 4 and would like to know if I've passed the tipping point yet.

If you're not crazy after 4, more power to you. There is a family of 4 at my daughter's school (one of many but one I know a bit more than the rest). The mother does nothing but complain b/c her husband encouraged her to quit her high-profile job b/c they couldn't keep up with their four. She complains about her weight, about her husband's reluctance to participate in household chores, her duties as a driver b/c her kids are in different activities, and her loss of "self." Furthermore, her youngest is challenging, to say the least, and there is tension between mother and daughter. While I don't know her very well, I'm obviously one she chooses to confide in.

It's depressing as hell. I just want to take her out to happy hour, buy her rounds of drinks and let her relax for 3 hours.

While I can't compare her to a Duggar, as she's obviously self-sufficient and educated, she made the choice to have 4 kids, which apparently is killing her. But ain't no turning back now!

Not ALL "mothers of many" are like her. But when you're spending hours driving to and from activities, making enough meals to feed an army, doing enough loads to clothe a small country, something's not right.

We ALL need to learn to be a bit selfish.

I will not give up my exercise. I will continue to take classes to keep my certification updated. I will expect my husband to be an equal partner. And I will not become so overwhelmed that my children suffer.

In the short scenes we view of the Duggars, they never seem tense, but how real is reality TV? We'll never see the true Duggars. So to all of you defending their choice to produce a small country - Do you REALLY think the show is depicting them fully and accurately?

[Anonymous]

NP here who has never watched the show and could normally care less, but is getting a bit fed up with the silly arguments here.

OK, you know one person with 4 kids who is unhappy. One anecdote does not make a dataset. Plus, you say you have your own strong opinions about the need to be selfish.

It sounds like you think everybody should be just like you.
Speaking for myself, I'm glad that's not the case, because you seem a little pushy and intolerant, to put it mildly. Not to mention, you won't win any debating awards arguing that the Duggars "never seem tense," but obviously the show isn't "depicting them fully and accurately," and then you plunge off the deep end and insinuate that, therefore, they must be unhappy.

[Anonymous]

You don't know me. I'm an anonymous poster who doesn't take television seriously. But for someone who's never watched the show, why are you even commenting? In fact, why would you be drawn to this topic at all, especially if you " . . . could normally care less?" I'm not the one plunging off the deep end. At least I'm commenting on something with which I'm familiar.

And I've been around quite a few mothers with many children. Do you expect me to post a personal study on this forum of all the "mothers of many" whom I've encountered in my years as a mother?

I don't think so.

Anonymous wrote:NP here who has never watched the show and could normally care less, but is getting a bit fed up with the silly arguments here.

OK, you know one person with 4 kids who is unhappy. One anecdote does not make a dataset. Plus, you say you have your own strong opinions about the need to be selfish.

It sounds like you think everybody should be just like you.
Speaking for myself, I'm glad that's not the case, because you seem a little pushy and intolerant, to put it mildly. Not to mention, you won't win any debating awards arguing that the Duggars "never seem tense," but obviously the show isn't "depicting them fully and accurately," and then you plunge off the deep end and insinuate that, therefore, they must be unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't know me. I'm an anonymous poster who doesn't take television seriously. But for someone who's never watched the show, why are you even commenting? In fact, why would you be drawn to this topic at all, especially if you " . . . could normally care less?" I'm not the one plunging off the deep end. At least I'm commenting on something with which I'm familiar.

And I've been around quite a few mothers with many children. Do you expect me to post a personal study on this forum of all the "mothers of many" whom I've encountered in my years as a mother?

I don't think so.

That seemed like a bit of an overreaction....

[Anonymous]

Michelle Duggar has had a miscarriage:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Michelle Duggar has had a miscarriage:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html

That's very sad for her . I had a feeling something bad would happen this time, at least she is ok. Maybe they will finally believe God IS trying to tell them something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Michelle Duggar has had a miscarriage:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html

That's very sad for her . I had a feeling something bad would happen this time, at least she is ok. Maybe they will finally believe God IS trying to tell them something.

Shut the fuck up. People lost pregnancies inexplicably and it has nothing to do with any god sending them a message.

[Anonymous]

PP here- should be "People lose..."

Rage leads to typos.

[Anonymous]

Not into the baby machine thing and my progeny taking over the world . LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Michelle Duggar has had a miscarriage:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html

That's very sad for her . I had a feeling something bad would happen this time, at least she is ok. Maybe they will finally believe God IS trying to tell them something.

Shut the fuck up. People lost pregnancies inexplicably and it has nothing to do with any god sending them a message.

My point was that they thought the first miscarriage meant God was punishing them for using birth control, thus MAYBE they'll finally believe he's telling them to stop! These aren't my crazy beliefs...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Michelle Duggar has had a miscarriage:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html

That's very sad for her . I had a feeling something bad would happen this time, at least she is ok. Maybe they will finally believe God IS trying to tell them something.

Shut the fuck up. People lost pregnancies inexplicably and it has nothing to do with any god sending them a message.

It sure does. The sad part is that not everybody is ready to listen to what He has to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Michelle Duggar has had a miscarriage:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html

That's very sad for her . I had a feeling something bad would happen this time, at least she is ok. Maybe they will finally believe God IS trying to tell them something.

Shut the fuck up. People lost pregnancies inexplicably and it has nothing to do with any god sending them a message.

My point was that they thought the first miscarriage meant God was punishing them for using birth control, thus MAYBE they'll finally believe he's telling them to stop! These aren't my crazy beliefs...

Nope, don't think it works that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Michelle Duggar has had a miscarriage:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html

That's very sad for her . I had a feeling something bad would happen this time, at least she is ok. Maybe they will finally believe God IS trying to tell them something.

Shut the fuck up. People lost pregnancies inexplicably and it has nothing to do with any god sending them a message.

My point was that they thought the first miscarriage meant God was punishing them for using birth control, thus MAYBE they'll finally believe he's telling them to stop! These aren't my crazy beliefs...

This is absolutely false, and I am incensed, just really truly furious, that someone would say such a thing about them. They NEVER said God punished them by giving them a miscarriage. Here is what they say in their book:

"Michelle got pregnant, even though she was still taking birth control pills. We thought that was impossible, but we were surprised to find out different! Then, between her second and third month, Michelle miscarried. When the doctor told us the miscarriage probably happened because she had conceived while still on the Pill, we were devastated. To us, it meant that something we had chosen to do--use the Pill--had caused the end of the pregnancy.

As conservative Christians, we believe every life is sacred, even the life of the unborn. Due to our lack of knowledge, we had destroyed the precious life of our unborn child. We prayed and studied the Bible and found a host of references that told us God considered children a gift, a blessing, and a reward. Yet we had considered having another child an inconvenience during that busy time in our lives, and we had taken steps to prevent it from happening."

They blamed themselves for the loss of their child, not God. They believe God blesses people with children--He doesn't KILL innocent children to PUNISH the parents. AND they have said time and again that they trust God to determine the size of their family.

God help me. What a terrible thing to say.