Being asked to get covid, flu and Dtap shot before meeting baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like multiple things can be true at the same time

1) It is the only gift of COVID that it has such a relatively mild impact on small children

2) Parents can determine whatever vaccines they want visitors to have had before seeing their newborns. It is a joyful time but it is also a scary and terrifying time filled with decisions that seem extraordinarily consequential and very personal and so I just as a rule accept without argument any parameters a new parent wants to set out, regardless of my personal feelings on it, and if I don't want to meet those standards, I wait without complaint for a better time

3) It is ok for you OP to decide that you don't want to get the COVID vaccine and for your teens, especially teen boys to not get the COVID vaccine. I don't get it because my experiences with COVID have been mild but the shot has a significant and unpleasant effect on my cycle that lasts for months. I got the vaccine religiously in the midst of the crisis but stopped a year or two ago. And teen boys are at the highest risk for the known cardiovascular side effect, although they are also similarly at risk from those impacts if they get COVID so not an easy decision to make.

4) You can think all of the above and hate and disagree with everyone in charge right now and the entire 'health' movement that is putting an entire generation of children at risk of preventable diseases.

Wow this comment aged so well…
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2025/10/30/covid-19-pregnancy-autism-risk/

I don't know why you think an article talking about how dangerous it is for a pregnant woman to get COVID is a gotcha to my comment, or relevant to this situation, which is about meeting a baby not a pregnant woman.

Ok sorry I’ll help. You antivaxers? Who make up lies about how dangerous vaccines are? Are the people actually endangering babies.

I am PP. I'm not an antivaxxer. I am stridently pro vaccine. Nothing I said was anti vax. My entire point 4, in case it wasn't clear, is alluding to the fact that we will irreparably harm a generation of children with anti vax nonsense. Having a reasoned take on the covid vaccine specifically based on my personal experience and data is not being anti vax. I am not anti covid vax! It is a miracle that saved millions of lives!

Acknowledging the relatively mild impact that COVID has on children under five, something that is in fact something that we should all be incredibly grateful for, is not anti vax. It is just true.

But I also said I would have no problems or criticisms with a parent who had this requirement. Having even handed reasonable takes reacted to in the way you are is just helping to entrench these raw milk drinking lunatics.

You don’t get the vaccine because it upsets your cycle. You don’t vaccinate your teen son because of complications which occur at the same rate from getting COVID. The pregnant woman who gets COVID from your decision not to be vaccinated or vaccinate your child now has a child with autism— why? Because of people like you. That is antivax in a nutshell no matter how much you tell yourself you're the reasonable one.

If you think my getting every single recommended vaccine except the one that causes months of disruption to my life makes me an antivaxxer than your rigidity is hurting the cause. I have PCOS and already struggle with regularity and pain and so have specific considerations that I use to make health decisions, as does everyone. I don't have a teen son. I do understand people who weigh the risk/reward for that SPECIFIC cohort because of the increase in myocarditis. I understand both choosing to vaccinate and not choosing to vaccinate that cohort.

Pregnant women should all get the vaccine and I would vaccinate if I were pregnant. These are all data backed considerations. This is the whole problem with our society today, if you're not 110% on the party line than you are no better than the worst possible caricature of the other side imaginable. You and I probably agree on 98% of things but COVID vaccines and how we talk to people on the internet are apparently too large a gap to overcome.

[Anonymous]

Her baby her choice. Your antivax status proves you care more about a tinfoil hat than your family, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom of older teens so its been a while. My sister is having a baby and her ob/gym said anyone around the baby within the first two months must have a flu shot, covid shot and Dtap.

I've had enough covid shots and had covid a few times. I was not planning to get me or my kids another shot.

Is this standard for newborns now?

Your sister is asking you to help protect her baby. Who cares if it’s standard! If you don’t want to comply wait to see the child until you sister feels it’s safe. It sounds like you are looking for a reason to fight with your sister and have “proof” she’s wrong. It’s her kid. Let her do what she feels is best.

FWIW - I didn’t ask people to vaccinate and my kids were fine, but my youngest is 12. I did ask them to be healthy and wash their hands.

OP here - one thing I don't understand is that just because you have the recent covid shot doesn't mean you won't get Covid. If Covid is really the concern shouldn't they make everyone who enters the house test for covid? Family members will be walking off planes minutes before seeing them.

You could say the same thing about the flu shot. However, most people get it because even if you get the flu, usually it’s a milder case.

I am a parent of a teenager who gets pneumonia every single time she gets cold or the flu. She is vaccinated for Covid yearly now and she has also had Covid three times— all mild cases (none within the last 2 years though). Each time she got Covid she also ended up with a mild level of pneumonia. Had she not been vaccinated for Covid. Both the Covid and pneumonia would have been much worse. Her pediatrician actually very strongly recommended she get the shot annually for the foreseeable future. So, everyone in the household also gets vaccinated. So I get where you’re coming from about the fact that the vaccine doesn’t completely prevent the disease, but it would make it milder for you and your family hopefully. And following that, maybe not pass it along to the baby. I would honestly live by the rule of not going near this new baby if you feel at all under the weather.

But to answer your question, yes I would get the Covid shot. And if you and your family plan to be around this baby on a regular or semi regular basis, I would continue to get the vaccine for the foreseeable future.

[Anonymous]

It is clear Op does not want to bother with the time and cost for a visit and is trying to blame her sister by saying she can’t/wont get the covid vaccine. 💉 if anti vax Op is wasting this much time and energy trying to prove her sister wrong and go against her wishes she should just stay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they don't want a newborn getting covid a few times.

has there every been a case of a newborn getting covid?

No. 7 cause of death in infants.

https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2023-01-31-covid-19-leading-cause-death-children-and-young-people-us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like multiple things can be true at the same time

1) It is the only gift of COVID that it has such a relatively mild impact on small children

2) Parents can determine whatever vaccines they want visitors to have had before seeing their newborns. It is a joyful time but it is also a scary and terrifying time filled with decisions that seem extraordinarily consequential and very personal and so I just as a rule accept without argument any parameters a new parent wants to set out, regardless of my personal feelings on it, and if I don't want to meet those standards, I wait without complaint for a better time

3) It is ok for you OP to decide that you don't want to get the COVID vaccine and for your teens, especially teen boys to not get the COVID vaccine. I don't get it because my experiences with COVID have been mild but the shot has a significant and unpleasant effect on my cycle that lasts for months. I got the vaccine religiously in the midst of the crisis but stopped a year or two ago. And teen boys are at the highest risk for the known cardiovascular side effect, although they are also similarly at risk from those impacts if they get COVID so not an easy decision to make.

4) You can think all of the above and hate and disagree with everyone in charge right now and the entire 'health' movement that is putting an entire generation of children at risk of preventable diseases.

Wow this comment aged so well…
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2025/10/30/covid-19-pregnancy-autism-risk/

I don't know why you think an article talking about how dangerous it is for a pregnant woman to get COVID is a gotcha to my comment, or relevant to this situation, which is about meeting a baby not a pregnant woman.

Ok sorry I’ll help. You antivaxers? Who make up lies about how dangerous vaccines are? Are the people actually endangering babies.

I am PP. I'm not an antivaxxer. I am stridently pro vaccine. Nothing I said was anti vax. My entire point 4, in case it wasn't clear, is alluding to the fact that we will irreparably harm a generation of children with anti vax nonsense. Having a reasoned take on the covid vaccine specifically based on my personal experience and data is not being anti vax. I am not anti covid vax! It is a miracle that saved millions of lives!

Acknowledging the relatively mild impact that COVID has on children under five, something that is in fact something that we should all be incredibly grateful for, is not anti vax. It is just true.

But I also said I would have no problems or criticisms with a parent who had this requirement. Having even handed reasonable takes reacted to in the way you are is just helping to entrench these raw milk drinking lunatics.

You don’t get the vaccine because it upsets your cycle. You don’t vaccinate your teen son because of complications which occur at the same rate from getting COVID. The pregnant woman who gets COVID from your decision not to be vaccinated or vaccinate your child now has a child with autism— why? Because of people like you. That is antivax in a nutshell no matter how much you tell yourself you're the reasonable one.

If you think my getting every single recommended vaccine except the one that causes months of disruption to my life makes me an antivaxxer than your rigidity is hurting the cause. I have PCOS and already struggle with regularity and pain and so have specific considerations that I use to make health decisions, as does everyone. I don't have a teen son. I do understand people who weigh the risk/reward for that SPECIFIC cohort because of the increase in myocarditis. I understand both choosing to vaccinate and not choosing to vaccinate that cohort.

Pregnant women should all get the vaccine and I would vaccinate if I were pregnant. These are all data backed considerations. This is the whole problem with our society today, if you're not 110% on the party line than you are no better than the worst possible caricature of the other side imaginable. You and I probably agree on 98% of things but COVID vaccines and how we talk to people on the internet are apparently too large a gap to overcome.

…how dare you call me an antivaxxer for not vaccinating…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like multiple things can be true at the same time

1) It is the only gift of COVID that it has such a relatively mild impact on small children

2) Parents can determine whatever vaccines they want visitors to have had before seeing their newborns. It is a joyful time but it is also a scary and terrifying time filled with decisions that seem extraordinarily consequential and very personal and so I just as a rule accept without argument any parameters a new parent wants to set out, regardless of my personal feelings on it, and if I don't want to meet those standards, I wait without complaint for a better time

3) It is ok for you OP to decide that you don't want to get the COVID vaccine and for your teens, especially teen boys to not get the COVID vaccine. I don't get it because my experiences with COVID have been mild but the shot has a significant and unpleasant effect on my cycle that lasts for months. I got the vaccine religiously in the midst of the crisis but stopped a year or two ago. And teen boys are at the highest risk for the known cardiovascular side effect, although they are also similarly at risk from those impacts if they get COVID so not an easy decision to make.

4) You can think all of the above and hate and disagree with everyone in charge right now and the entire 'health' movement that is putting an entire generation of children at risk of preventable diseases.

Wow this comment aged so well…
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2025/10/30/covid-19-pregnancy-autism-risk/

I don't know why you think an article talking about how dangerous it is for a pregnant woman to get COVID is a gotcha to my comment, or relevant to this situation, which is about meeting a baby not a pregnant woman.

Ok sorry I’ll help. You antivaxers? Who make up lies about how dangerous vaccines are? Are the people actually endangering babies.

I am PP. I'm not an antivaxxer. I am stridently pro vaccine. Nothing I said was anti vax. My entire point 4, in case it wasn't clear, is alluding to the fact that we will irreparably harm a generation of children with anti vax nonsense. Having a reasoned take on the covid vaccine specifically based on my personal experience and data is not being anti vax. I am not anti covid vax! It is a miracle that saved millions of lives!

Acknowledging the relatively mild impact that COVID has on children under five, something that is in fact something that we should all be incredibly grateful for, is not anti vax. It is just true.

But I also said I would have no problems or criticisms with a parent who had this requirement. Having even handed reasonable takes reacted to in the way you are is just helping to entrench these raw milk drinking lunatics.

You don’t get the vaccine because it upsets your cycle. You don’t vaccinate your teen son because of complications which occur at the same rate from getting COVID. The pregnant woman who gets COVID from your decision not to be vaccinated or vaccinate your child now has a child with autism— why? Because of people like you. That is antivax in a nutshell no matter how much you tell yourself you're the reasonable one.

If you think my getting every single recommended vaccine except the one that causes months of disruption to my life makes me an antivaxxer than your rigidity is hurting the cause. I have PCOS and already struggle with regularity and pain and so have specific considerations that I use to make health decisions, as does everyone. I don't have a teen son. I do understand people who weigh the risk/reward for that SPECIFIC cohort because of the increase in myocarditis. I understand both choosing to vaccinate and not choosing to vaccinate that cohort.

Pregnant women should all get the vaccine and I would vaccinate if I were pregnant. These are all data backed considerations. This is the whole problem with our society today, if you're not 110% on the party line than you are no better than the worst possible caricature of the other side imaginable. You and I probably agree on 98% of things but COVID vaccines and how we talk to people on the internet are apparently too large a gap to overcome.

Oh wow look at that, long COVID also disrupts cycles for months! Good thing you didn’t get a shot though.

https://www.sciencealert.com/long-covid-could-mess-with-menstruation-in-a-horrid-feedback-loop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like multiple things can be true at the same time

1) It is the only gift of COVID that it has such a relatively mild impact on small children

2) Parents can determine whatever vaccines they want visitors to have had before seeing their newborns. It is a joyful time but it is also a scary and terrifying time filled with decisions that seem extraordinarily consequential and very personal and so I just as a rule accept without argument any parameters a new parent wants to set out, regardless of my personal feelings on it, and if I don't want to meet those standards, I wait without complaint for a better time

3) It is ok for you OP to decide that you don't want to get the COVID vaccine and for your teens, especially teen boys to not get the COVID vaccine. I don't get it because my experiences with COVID have been mild but the shot has a significant and unpleasant effect on my cycle that lasts for months. I got the vaccine religiously in the midst of the crisis but stopped a year or two ago. And teen boys are at the highest risk for the known cardiovascular side effect, although they are also similarly at risk from those impacts if they get COVID so not an easy decision to make.

4) You can think all of the above and hate and disagree with everyone in charge right now and the entire 'health' movement that is putting an entire generation of children at risk of preventable diseases.

Wow this comment aged so well…
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2025/10/30/covid-19-pregnancy-autism-risk/

I don't know why you think an article talking about how dangerous it is for a pregnant woman to get COVID is a gotcha to my comment, or relevant to this situation, which is about meeting a baby not a pregnant woman.

Ok sorry I’ll help. You antivaxers? Who make up lies about how dangerous vaccines are? Are the people actually endangering babies.

I am PP. I'm not an antivaxxer. I am stridently pro vaccine. Nothing I said was anti vax. My entire point 4, in case it wasn't clear, is alluding to the fact that we will irreparably harm a generation of children with anti vax nonsense. Having a reasoned take on the covid vaccine specifically based on my personal experience and data is not being anti vax. I am not anti covid vax! It is a miracle that saved millions of lives!

Acknowledging the relatively mild impact that COVID has on children under five, something that is in fact something that we should all be incredibly grateful for, is not anti vax. It is just true.

But I also said I would have no problems or criticisms with a parent who had this requirement. Having even handed reasonable takes reacted to in the way you are is just helping to entrench these raw milk drinking lunatics.

You don’t get the vaccine because it upsets your cycle. You don’t vaccinate your teen son because of complications which occur at the same rate from getting COVID. The pregnant woman who gets COVID from your decision not to be vaccinated or vaccinate your child now has a child with autism— why? Because of people like you. That is antivax in a nutshell no matter how much you tell yourself you're the reasonable one.

If you think my getting every single recommended vaccine except the one that causes months of disruption to my life makes me an antivaxxer than your rigidity is hurting the cause. I have PCOS and already struggle with regularity and pain and so have specific considerations that I use to make health decisions, as does everyone. I don't have a teen son. I do understand people who weigh the risk/reward for that SPECIFIC cohort because of the increase in myocarditis. I understand both choosing to vaccinate and not choosing to vaccinate that cohort.

Pregnant women should all get the vaccine and I would vaccinate if I were pregnant. These are all data backed considerations. This is the whole problem with our society today, if you're not 110% on the party line than you are no better than the worst possible caricature of the other side imaginable. You and I probably agree on 98% of things but COVID vaccines and how we talk to people on the internet are apparently too large a gap to overcome.

…how dare you call me an antivaxxer for not vaccinating…

Except for the fact that they did get the covid vax multiple times and get every other shot?

[Anonymous]

My older daughter (now 13) was born a bit early in Oct and we were told by the pediatrician to limit visitors generally and to make sure the limited visitors had flu and dtap current.

These days I’d do the same with Covid - wouldn’t make someone get a shot they were up to date on, but would want to confirm they were up to date.

[Anonymous]

Update on this- OP here. Had emotional talk with my sister and agreed to all get the shots. Baby has been born. We are going to visit when the baby will be 8.5 weeks (during holiday season). Today my sister told me they took baby in stroller to Macy's in NY because they needed to get out. I totally get that. Do I still need shot to visit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update on this- OP here. Had emotional talk with my sister and agreed to all get the shots. Baby has been born. We are going to visit when the baby will be 8.5 weeks (during holiday season). Today my sister told me they took baby in stroller to Macy's in NY because they needed to get out. I totally get that. Do I still need shot to visit?

Go away troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update on this- OP here. Had emotional talk with my sister and agreed to all get the shots. Baby has been born. We are going to visit when the baby will be 8.5 weeks (during holiday season). Today my sister told me they took baby in stroller to Macy's in NY because they needed to get out. I totally get that. Do I still need shot to visit?

Yes.

Except, like the PP, I think you’re lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update on this- OP here. Had emotional talk with my sister and agreed to all get the shots. Baby has been born. We are going to visit when the baby will be 8.5 weeks (during holiday season). Today my sister told me they took baby in stroller to Macy's in NY because they needed to get out. I totally get that. Do I still need shot to visit?

Do you plan to breathe the same air as the newborn in the same room with recirculated air? Do you plan on not clearing your throat, going to the bathroom in their house, hugging your sister, holding your niece, etc?
You are imagining this as shades of the same gray but its a completely different color. In a large department store or outside in a stroller with no one touching or holding or breathing on her is very different than holding or visiting someone's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update on this- OP here. Had emotional talk with my sister and agreed to all get the shots. Baby has been born. We are going to visit when the baby will be 8.5 weeks (during holiday season). Today my sister told me they took baby in stroller to Macy's in NY because they needed to get out. I totally get that. Do I still need shot to visit?

YES. You agreed to do so, and so you will.

[Anonymous]

If you said you’d get the shot you should. Or just wait until mom is comfortable taking baby to you without it.

My FIL and sister in law didn’t want to get their seasonal shots so they had to wait until my baby was 3+ old to meet. Not a problem. My obgyn also had told me not to have visitors without shots, so matches with your sister’s obgyn.