How much $$ are the Grooms parents expected to contribute to wedding costs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife's family had not a lot of money but chipped in hours and hours of planning and did the setup/teardown of the venue. We paid the bulk with a check from my parents and aunt.

I do plan on paying for college, contributing a big check to the wedding (and in smaller portions to all my nieces and nephews) and assisting with a house down payment. This is both because we can and because it spares them the cost when they are starting out.

If we were just getting by these ambitions would be scaled back.

Right. Parents need to make good financial decisions so that they do not become a financial burden to their children and to promote financial responsibility. Decisions that reflect their particular financial circumstances, not outdated cultural norms. If your daughter is marrying into a family where her IL’s won’t respect her unless she is wealthy than she will have am uphill battle if she is not wealthy, regardless of whether you pay for her wedding. People who care a great deal about wealth and status are looking for the “right” shared institutional and cultural touchstones to indicate pedigree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These day most couples pay for their own wedding festivities.

Not in my WASPY family. Parents are still paying for everything. It is a way to "transfer" wealth. It is like helping out with the downpayment for house.

Only idiot WASPs think a blowout wedding is a wealth transfer. Most everyone in my circle is sinking it into real estate or brokerages for their kids.

Rich wasps are doing that too. The “wealth transfer” is that the young couple does not have to spend their own money. Just like giving them a down payment so they don’t have to spend their own money.

It’s not an either/or.

[Anonymous]

When it comes to any large financial decisions, I could not care less what society says i should do. While my own wedding was fairly large and expensive, its not something I would do for my own kids for the simple reason that I dont have the funds to do so. My plan is to contribute some set amount for their weddings (son or daughters) that I can afford, and its up to them to plan the event based on what they want and can also afford. If somehow I had the money to fully fund i probably would though, since giving my kids joy would give me joy.