Transgender congressperson calls for practical compromise on transgender policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sarah McBride tells Democrats to stop infighting and stop demanding ideological purity, and stop taking the bait from social conservatives and crushing themselves.


https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/03/sarah-mcbride-says-democrats-should-be-more-open-to-opponents-of-trans-rights/

Everyone has to make a sacrifice to get through difficult times.
Changing hearts and minds and social structures and physical facilities takes time.
Compromise on sports. Compromise on bathrooms.
"It's not fair" just isn't a strong enough argument. It's too subjective. Play to win, not be be a righteous loser.
Sometimes the better option is to wait out the old generation, not give them ammo to inflame a new generation. Sometimes you have to be a martyr for your cause, because you can't win by force of will.


Progressives, the goal is to make continual progress, not be rigid absolutists ther ignores the feelings and actual power of opponents. "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. " -MLK

Be good, but be smart.
It's not too late.

How about you run the government well and efficiently?

If I wanted morality police and the constant social lecture agenda, I would go live in a middle eastern theocracy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always want to know who the "radical trans activists" are. I'm the mom of a trans daughter. I guess I am a "radical trans activist" because I care about my child's safety and life.

It's sort of this crazy idea that you become absolutely obsessed with trans people without actually being a trans person? It's like saying that a Jewish person is a "radical Jewish activist" because they care about antisemitism.

And what makes you the "radical" part? What makes you an "activist?" Can you not just care about trans people because you are one or you love one?

Personally, I could care less about the sports stuff. Republicans drummed all of this up to force Democrats to take a position. And I see it a lot like Obama saying he wasn't for gay marriage, when of course he was. He just couldn't say it and win. It means nothing. It affects hardly anyone. I do think Democrats should just give up on it temporarily because it will make Republicans have to find something else stupid to go crazy over, which of course they will.

Trans women in men's prisons is dangerous. That's going to cause rape and murder.

Forcing trans people to use bathrooms of their biological sex is dangerous. It only ends up being butch lesbians who are called out for no reason. It's so stupid, and if we all care that much, start adding more single bathrooms. You think trans people WANT to freak out when they have to pee?

I want the government to stay out of my kid's healthcare, and stay out of parents' rights to handle their kids' healthcare. Stop using terms like "mutilation" that are pejorative. That term could apply to all kinds of legal things people do to themselves.

I hate Republicans, and I hate transphobes. My kid is lucky. She has rich parents and rich grandparents, and she's white and pretty and smart and goes to a good college where she has a girlfriend and friends that don't care that she's trans. And she's studying for a career where she can make a good amount of money if she wants to. She is so well protected because she has supportive parents who are wealthy and white.

I admit I do take some joy in that--knowing that there is really nothing these bigots can do to make my kid's life bad. She's always going to have more money than most of them. They can mess with her healthcare, but we will always help her find a way around that. In the worst case scenario, she would move to another country. Just like all rich people, the laws don't hurt her the way they do poor people.

Of course that doesn't help the poor trans people and the black ones. They're screwed, like poor people always are.

Trans women in women’s prisons have already caused rape and assault, and will likely cause murder eventually. Do you care about the biological women victims the way you care about transwomen victims?

I do not use the word “mutilation” because I agree it is pejorative. But it is also true that much of what has been trumpeted by advocacy groups as “settled science” is anything but. And people know that. I consider the trans activists who are actively trying to quash any reasoned discussion of the effectiveness and science behind treatments, particularly for children, to be radical activists. How could they be anything but? If you are demanding no scientific inquiry into treatment regimes that have notoriously weak scientific evidence, how are you anything but a radical activist?

And finally, on the point around mutilation, it’s not a term I use, but the demands to stop using the word only reinforce the argument that the surgeries and treatments are in fact mutilation. It is similar to the slogan “transwomen are women.” That slogan is ineffective because many people do not in fact believe transwomen are women, so chanting at them does not change their mind. Chants, compelled speech, etc. rarely successfully persuade. What persuades are people’s experiences. But the trans rights movement has leaned heavily into demands and compelled speech, and not as much into persuasion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarah McBride tells Democrats to stop infighting and stop demanding ideological purity, and stop taking the bait from social conservatives and crushing themselves.


https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/03/sarah-mcbride-says-democrats-should-be-more-open-to-opponents-of-trans-rights/

Everyone has to make a sacrifice to get through difficult times.
Changing hearts and minds and social structures and physical facilities takes time.
Compromise on sports. Compromise on bathrooms.
"It's not fair" just isn't a strong enough argument. It's too subjective. Play to win, not be be a righteous loser.
Sometimes the better option is to wait out the old generation, not give them ammo to inflame a new generation. Sometimes you have to be a martyr for your cause, because you can't win by force of will.


Progressives, the goal is to make continual progress, not be rigid absolutists ther ignores the feelings and actual power of opponents. "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. " -MLK

Be good, but be smart.
It's not too late.

Gen Z is far more conservative on this issue than the Millennials.

I did a quick search for proof and it’s all over the place. Magas beget GenZ Magas and they probably voted for Trump. If you mean non mags conservatives, most are males, probably quasi religious (although I’m not seeing much data), probably sat it out this election. No time to break it out white, Hispanic, POC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you allow post-op trans folks to wear women’s clothes? Is that where you’d draw the line. No blouses with balls. Suits until sutures?

So ridiculous.

Men can wear whatever they want.

Wearing a skirt and lipstick doesn’t make one a woman.

I think being a woman would entail first being a human and a lot of the deranged sociopathic people on the right aren't even demonstrating their humanity.

You first. Because right now I’m being treated like a costume you pick up at Spirit Halloween versus a person that through millennial experience has been subjugated by men.

[Anonymous]

Maps are a rising political force y left.
https://www.newsweek.com/karen-berg-proposes-child-sex-dolls-pedophiles-kentucky-senator-1875024

[Anonymous]

All she did was live in a blue city and send her child to progressive schools that supported her child’s identity and name change. How is this her fault? What did you expect her to do, live in Richmond and tell the kid “no”? This is the age of affirmation, and that’s a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always want to know who the "radical trans activists" are. I'm the mom of a trans daughter. I guess I am a "radical trans activist" because I care about my child's safety and life.

It's sort of this crazy idea that you become absolutely obsessed with trans people without actually being a trans person? It's like saying that a Jewish person is a "radical Jewish activist" because they care about antisemitism.

And what makes you the "radical" part? What makes you an "activist?" Can you not just care about trans people because you are one or you love one?

Personally, I could care less about the sports stuff. Republicans drummed all of this up to force Democrats to take a position. And I see it a lot like Obama saying he wasn't for gay marriage, when of course he was. He just couldn't say it and win. It means nothing. It affects hardly anyone. I do think Democrats should just give up on it temporarily because it will make Republicans have to find something else stupid to go crazy over, which of course they will.

Trans women in men's prisons is dangerous. That's going to cause rape and murder.

Forcing trans people to use bathrooms of their biological sex is dangerous. It only ends up being butch lesbians who are called out for no reason. It's so stupid, and if we all care that much, start adding more single bathrooms. You think trans people WANT to freak out when they have to pee?

I want the government to stay out of my kid's healthcare, and stay out of parents' rights to handle their kids' healthcare. Stop using terms like "mutilation" that are pejorative. That term could apply to all kinds of legal things people do to themselves.

I hate Republicans, and I hate transphobes. My kid is lucky. She has rich parents and rich grandparents, and she's white and pretty and smart and goes to a good college where she has a girlfriend and friends that don't care that she's trans. And she's studying for a career where she can make a good amount of money if she wants to. She is so well protected because she has supportive parents who are wealthy and white.

I admit I do take some joy in that--knowing that there is really nothing these bigots can do to make my kid's life bad. She's always going to have more money than most of them. They can mess with her healthcare, but we will always help her find a way around that. In the worst case scenario, she would move to another country. Just like all rich people, the laws don't hurt her the way they do poor people.

Of course that doesn't help the poor trans people and the black ones. They're screwed, like poor people always are.

As a trans male, that's a good attitude to have. Honestly.

I'm in the same boat. I'm white. My parents are pretty well off financially. At first, they were not as supportive as you are, but they quickly came around after attending some therapy. I'm very thankful for that. They helped me get the best medical care. They made sure I had the best surgeons. They paid for my education at a top university. I'm only as happy and successful as I am now because of their help and support. I make good money in my career, and I try to donate a good portion of that to different causes that support disadvantaged trans people. Because as you said, I'll be fine. If they outlaw my care, I can easily move because I have the means to do so.

I don't even engage in the petty online arguing because I don't believe people's minds get changed very easily these days anyway. I find it pointless. I just chuckle to myself and move on. It doesn't bring me down. It doesn't upset me. Think of all the time and energy they are wasting in their hate and constant online commenting. That's exhausting. Me? Last night I met friends at the rec center for a game of basketball after work. Then I came home and grilled some chicken for my wife and me. We spent the rest of the evening watching our new favorite show, Severance. As you can see, miserable life. Just terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarah McBride tells Democrats to stop infighting and stop demanding ideological purity, and stop taking the bait from social conservatives and crushing themselves.


https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/03/sarah-mcbride-says-democrats-should-be-more-open-to-opponents-of-trans-rights/

Everyone has to make a sacrifice to get through difficult times.
Changing hearts and minds and social structures and physical facilities takes time.
Compromise on sports. Compromise on bathrooms.
"It's not fair" just isn't a strong enough argument. It's too subjective. Play to win, not be be a righteous loser.
Sometimes the better option is to wait out the old generation, not give them ammo to inflame a new generation. Sometimes you have to be a martyr for your cause, because you can't win by force of will.


Progressives, the goal is to make continual progress, not be rigid absolutists ther ignores the feelings and actual power of opponents. "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. " -MLK

Be good, but be smart.
It's not too late.

Why should basic human rights be subject to any sort of compromise?

Men have a right to use women's changing rooms? Where is that in the bill of rights?

I'm a trans male and if I walked into a women's restroom right now, your wives would freak and kick me out. They'd call the security guards or the police. I may have a vagina and sit to pee, but I'm 100% passing as a male thanks to years of T and top surgery.

When you think of trans people, don't think of men in dresses. Don't think of drag queens. Drag queens are NOT trans. Drag is an art form. Drag is a profession or hobby. It's not a total lifestyle for 99.9% of people. Heck, I know quite a few drag queens who aren't even gay. They just enjoy the art and performance of it all. I know even more drag kings who are not queer.

Very few trans people these days who have been on hormones for 6+ months are not passing as their new gender. After a year on hormones, you can't pick us out from cis individuals.

The no trans in bathrooms/changing rooms doesn't actually hurt trans people because cis people can't actually tell who is trans if they are not some famous trans influencer or advocate from social media. The anti-trans movement actually hurts cis women who do not look traditionally feminine (short hair, broader shoulders, flat-chested) and cis men who do not look traditionally masculine (slim build, longer hair, delicate facial features). Those are the people who are actually getting harassed in bathrooms, not me. I've been peeing in men's rooms, using the men's locker rooms, and using men's changing rooms for decades now. Never had an issue.

Sarah McBride may not be able to use the women's restroom in Congress, but I bet she does everywhere else and guess what? I doubt anyone has ever questioned it or hassled her.

Drag is a product of women’s historical oppression. It is when a member of the privileged group appropriates members of a historically and currently oppressed group for entertainment purposes.

You wouldn’t call black face an art form.

+1

I find the continued defense of drag from people who believe themselves to be non-sexist absolutely baffling. It is of course minstrelism and will be seen with the same horror in fifty years that blackface is now.

Comparing gender in race when it comes to transgender issues never seems to go well. Black face and minstrel shows are built on mocking black people and portraying them incredibly stereotypically. Drag (although it can sometimes be campy) often shows femininity as beautiful, and in my opinion (although I'm not a drag queen) is more leaning in to the sterotype of gay men being dramatic, feminine and over the top than stereotypes about women. Drag queens are often the but of their own jokes, rather than mocking women. The reason people call drag an art form is because it takes a mix of fashion and acting/singing/comedy/stage presence to pull off.
(Again I'm not a drag queen, I just like a lot of drag queens' looks and think they are funny)

So if blackface wasn’t as mocking you’d be ok with it….

According to your logic, it is ok. It’s just performance and art paying homage to those people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1 Wish I knew who you were, but you nailed it! I'm an older DCUM poster. When I was a teacher in a medium sized deep south city, two of my favorite school principals were roommates for 30+ years. Definitely lesbians who lived quiet, normal lives in a modest subdivision in a conservative area; and no one objected.

Also a teacher here. Also in Deep South at the time. In the case I observed it was a second grade teacher and the county Reading Supervisor. Nice women. Maybe people speculated privately, but not publicly. But, then, they weren't waving Pride flags and marching. And, maybe they were just roommates. I never asked. I worked with the second grade teacher.

Later, in another school system--but long ago, I worked with two gay men. One was "out," and one was not (came out later.) They were not partners. Kind of thought the one who was not "out" was gay, but we never discussed it and he was a good friend. That was his business, not mine. The other one brought his partner to social events.
But, this was long before we saw the rainbow flag.

This is of course all true, but irrelevant. The question isn’t whether trans people existed. People who live across the gender spectrum have always existed.

The question now one of conflicting legal rights, and in particular how the conflict between rights for gender diverse people versus rights based on biological sex is resolved. Because these are directly conflicting, one will have to lose.

Gay rights isn’t quite analogous because gay rights was not in direct conflict with another set of rights for a different marginalized group. There were no zero sum outcomes for gay rights like there are for trans rights.

This is the crux of the issue. Dems have decided that gender identity rights are more important than rights on the basis of sex. This inherently strips the rights of biological females and diminishes their safety and opportunity. Many voters are not on board with this.

It's not at all the same thing as gay and lesbian rights, that don't infringe on the rights of other groups. I've been very pro gay and lesbian rights since before it became more mainstream, but I'm ardently opposed to biological males in female sports and spaces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always want to know who the "radical trans activists" are. I'm the mom of a trans daughter. I guess I am a "radical trans activist" because I care about my child's safety and life.

It's sort of this crazy idea that you become absolutely obsessed with trans people without actually being a trans person? It's like saying that a Jewish person is a "radical Jewish activist" because they care about antisemitism.

And what makes you the "radical" part? What makes you an "activist?" Can you not just care about trans people because you are one or you love one?

Personally, I could care less about the sports stuff. Republicans drummed all of this up to force Democrats to take a position. And I see it a lot like Obama saying he wasn't for gay marriage, when of course he was. He just couldn't say it and win. It means nothing. It affects hardly anyone. I do think Democrats should just give up on it temporarily because it will make Republicans have to find something else stupid to go crazy over, which of course they will.

Trans women in men's prisons is dangerous. That's going to cause rape and murder.

Forcing trans people to use bathrooms of their biological sex is dangerous. It only ends up being butch lesbians who are called out for no reason. It's so stupid, and if we all care that much, start adding more single bathrooms. You think trans people WANT to freak out when they have to pee?

I want the government to stay out of my kid's healthcare, and stay out of parents' rights to handle their kids' healthcare. Stop using terms like "mutilation" that are pejorative. That term could apply to all kinds of legal things people do to themselves.

I hate Republicans, and I hate transphobes. My kid is lucky. She has rich parents and rich grandparents, and she's white and pretty and smart and goes to a good college where she has a girlfriend and friends that don't care that she's trans. And she's studying for a career where she can make a good amount of money if she wants to. She is so well protected because she has supportive parents who are wealthy and white.

I admit I do take some joy in that--knowing that there is really nothing these bigots can do to make my kid's life bad. She's always going to have more money than most of them. They can mess with her healthcare, but we will always help her find a way around that. In the worst case scenario, she would move to another country. Just like all rich people, the laws don't hurt her the way they do poor people.

Of course that doesn't help the poor trans people and the black ones. They're screwed, like poor people always are.

As a trans male, that's a good attitude to have. Honestly.

I'm in the same boat. I'm white. My parents are pretty well off financially. At first, they were not as supportive as you are, but they quickly came around after attending some therapy. I'm very thankful for that. They helped me get the best medical care. They made sure I had the best surgeons. They paid for my education at a top university. I'm only as happy and successful as I am now because of their help and support. I make good money in my career, and I try to donate a good portion of that to different causes that support disadvantaged trans people. Because as you said, I'll be fine. If they outlaw my care, I can easily move because I have the means to do so.

I don't even engage in the petty online arguing because I don't believe people's minds get changed very easily these days anyway. I find it pointless. I just chuckle to myself and move on. It doesn't bring me down. It doesn't upset me. Think of all the time and energy they are wasting in their hate and constant online commenting. That's exhausting. Me? Last night I met friends at the rec center for a game of basketball after work. Then I came home and grilled some chicken for my wife and me. We spent the rest of the evening watching our new favorite show, Severance. As you can see, miserable life. Just terrible.

I’m glad you are happy. Yeah. I engage a lot less than I used to. It upsets me a lot more than it does my daughter because she’s just off living her good life. Looking at summer internships. Doing a school play. Sometimes I wish was more involved in the politics of her OWN identity, but why would I really want that. It’s GOOD she can just be a normal college student. So, if someone is going to be the “activist” I guess it has to be me. Because what loving parent wouldn’t stick up for their kid.

I think it’s also because I recognize though how lucky she is comparatively. One thing that stuck out to me recently was when Nancy Mace was doing her thing and yelled about how the “slur word couldn’t afford lawyers.” And I was like well that’s probably true for a lot of trans people, if you aren’t born into a family with money or they just reject you.

[Anonymous]

Support for trans athletes and trans education in elementary schools has been falling in recent years. Trans folks themselves are being normalized, but voters are increasingly turned off by Democratic Party policies and annoying (cisgendered) upper middle class liberals who virtue signal about trans folks. If I were trans like Sarah McBride, I’d want Democrats to stop talking about me too. I never thought I’d say this, but Democrats are now LESS popular than trans folks.

[Anonymous]

Here’s the data. Huge swings.AGAINST trans rights during the Biden administration. Republicans, Democrats, and Independents all swung same way. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/02/26/americans-have-grown-more-supportive-of-restrictions-for-trans-people-in-recent-years/

[Anonymous]

Team Biden really did push too hard on trans stuff. They made it uncool. Trans kids are hip. Admiral Rachel Levine? Less so.
https://nypost.com/2024/06/26/us-news/biden-administration-official-rachel-levine-pressured-medical-experts-to-remove-age-limit-guidelines-for-transgender-surgery/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Support for trans athletes and trans education in elementary schools has been falling in recent years. Trans folks themselves are being normalized, but voters are increasingly turned off by Democratic Party policies and annoying (cisgendered) upper middle class liberals who virtue signal about trans folks. If I were trans like Sarah McBride, I’d want Democrats to stop talking about me too. I never thought I’d say this, but Democrats are now LESS popular than trans folks.

The only people I hear yapping non stop about trans people are the right wingers. Sports this, bathrooms that, along with lots of complete BS about schools forcing sex change operations on children (lies). I'm sick of hearing about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Support for trans athletes and trans education in elementary schools has been falling in recent years. Trans folks themselves are being normalized, but voters are increasingly turned off by Democratic Party policies and annoying (cisgendered) upper middle class liberals who virtue signal about trans folks. If I were trans like Sarah McBride, I’d want Democrats to stop talking about me too. I never thought I’d say this, but Democrats are now LESS popular than trans folks.

The only people I hear yapping non stop about trans people are the right wingers. Sports this, bathrooms that, along with lots of complete BS about schools forcing sex change operations on children (lies). I'm sick of hearing about it.

+1 the only place I hear about trans is on DCUM.