How is Sorority Rush going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed at UVA in 2010 (wow...how is that possible) but did not pledge a sorority. Not going to lie, it was...difficult.

I never really thought about/wanted to join a sorority prior to college - it was not on my radar, but I signed up for rush because it was such a big thing at UVA. I was out of state and didn't know anyone. Long story short, I ended up getting dropped from most sororities and getting a bid from what those on campus called the 'fat', 'loser' sorority (I may have been a loser, but I was not fat!) I declined the bid and decided not to be in a sorority at all.

EVEN AS someone who didn't really care that much about being in a sorority and went on to have good friends and a good college experience, it really stung. I remember telling my mom that 'a third of the girls at this school must not like me' after getting dropped nearly everywhere, and I always felt a bit insecure wondering what it was. In class, I'd wonder if I was sitting near a girl who dropped me or had talked badly about me during the decision-making process. Even looking back today, I wonder what was wrong with me at the time. And some people took it even harder - a girl in my dorm was so devastated her parents had to come up, and she nearly withdrew from the school (she ended up staying, fortunately, and getting really involved in a cool hobby group where she ended up meeting her husband, so all worked out).

Anyways, I find the system problematic and wouldn't support my daughter joining a sorority or rushing.

Same experience, same school, but in the 90s. If I could go back and choose a different college, I would pick one where there was no Greek system. It really soured my time there.

Counterpoint: I attended UVA in the late 90s and simply didn’t rush. I had a fabulous college experience. It’s not the school.

[Anonymous]

All the women I know who grew up in the south think sorority life was the peak and defining time of their life and still mention their house when they meet new people, still wear their house colors, still identify as XYZ whenever they can.

All the women I know who grew up outside the south said they had fun for a year or two but then it was pretty cringy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I was a first gen student with an immigrant mother, father was not in the picture. I knew nothing about Greek life. I think there might have been two frats and one sorority at my “directional” university. My husband is also an immigrant, so he wasn’t involved in that scene either. I never encouraged her to join Greek life.

Jump to my DD who is in a sorority at at T25 school. She is in a “mid-tier” house. So far she likes it. The dues are about $3K a year, and that includes some meals (she lives off campus). She is gaining experience leading different events, and has a leadership position starting this year. There are some aspects she thinks are annoying and silly, but she sees this experience more as an investement in her future regarding networking and volunteer work. She will live in the house next year, and he rent will be much lower. Plus, the location of the house is very close to central campus area.

I think she got dropped by her first choice house, but is happy where she landed. She tells me about drug use (cocaine) by some members of top tier frats and sororities. Not all members are doing drugs of course. I am sure there is some use by brothers and sisters in all tiers, but she has noticed it only by some in those top houses.

Most of her friends are in Greek life as well. She has friends in different sororities too. Compared to what I have heard from Greek life at other schools, her sorority seems a lot more chill. For example, she knows a girl whose mom went down to her university (Alabama) on Bid Day to line the streets and cheer the girls on. None of that stuff happened at my DD’s school. That just seems so over the top!

Basically, so far, from my DD’, I think this has been a good experience for her. I can see though, how it can be a ridiculous, expensive, superficial, frustrating and heartbreaking experience for many.

Love how you sprinkle in drug use in top house. Doubt it and if in one then all. Usually there is cattiness toward top house if someone was dropped. Also to the mom who went to bid day well good for her. I think that is a nice thing. Maybe she was in a sorority and had happy memories.

I was just reporting what my daughter told me over break about drug usage. I hope this is not the norm. She implied the higher ranked houses had more members with the means to buy drugs. At first I assumed she meant it was the frats only. She then clarified it was also the sororities.

I guess I am not so gung-ho over the whole sorority stuff. I assume this is THEIR thing. That is why it just seemed odd, to me, for parents to hop on a plane for bid day. I wouldn’t want to be involved, unless the activity actually was for us, as in the parent formal. To each their own.

Seems as though your daughter was mad she got dropped and her way of handling this is to put those houses down. Sad.

Or, just maybe, she actually saw that.

Not every pnm is desperate to be in certain sororities for validation. She landed in a nice house, along with some of her friends, and is thriving.

I hope you have a fabulous day.

I promise you that there are mid tier groups that are dabbling in recreational drug use as well. Not sure it’s an either / or.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I was a first gen student with an immigrant mother, father was not in the picture. I knew nothing about Greek life. I think there might have been two frats and one sorority at my “directional” university. My husband is also an immigrant, so he wasn’t involved in that scene either. I never encouraged her to join Greek life.

Jump to my DD who is in a sorority at at T25 school. She is in a “mid-tier” house. So far she likes it. The dues are about $3K a year, and that includes some meals (she lives off campus). She is gaining experience leading different events, and has a leadership position starting this year. There are some aspects she thinks are annoying and silly, but she sees this experience more as an investement in her future regarding networking and volunteer work. She will live in the house next year, and he rent will be much lower. Plus, the location of the house is very close to central campus area.

I think she got dropped by her first choice house, but is happy where she landed. She tells me about drug use (cocaine) by some members of top tier frats and sororities. Not all members are doing drugs of course. I am sure there is some use by brothers and sisters in all tiers, but she has noticed it only by some in those top houses.

Most of her friends are in Greek life as well. She has friends in different sororities too. Compared to what I have heard from Greek life at other schools, her sorority seems a lot more chill. For example, she knows a girl whose mom went down to her university (Alabama) on Bid Day to line the streets and cheer the girls on. None of that stuff happened at my DD’s school. That just seems so over the top!

Basically, so far, from my DD’, I think this has been a good experience for her. I can see though, how it can be a ridiculous, expensive, superficial, frustrating and heartbreaking experience for many.

Love how you sprinkle in drug use in top house. Doubt it and if in one then all. Usually there is cattiness toward top house if someone was dropped. Also to the mom who went to bid day well good for her. I think that is a nice thing. Maybe she was in a sorority and had happy memories.

Interesting that you doubt it? 100% the "top houses" back when I was in college and still today and rife with cocaine. My dd is not in a top house but her best friend and also her cousin are and they both do cociane and that may not have started when they pledged those sororities, but it definitely took off. I thought everyone knew this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I was a first gen student with an immigrant mother, father was not in the picture. I knew nothing about Greek life. I think there might have been two frats and one sorority at my “directional” university. My husband is also an immigrant, so he wasn’t involved in that scene either. I never encouraged her to join Greek life.

Jump to my DD who is in a sorority at at T25 school. She is in a “mid-tier” house. So far she likes it. The dues are about $3K a year, and that includes some meals (she lives off campus). She is gaining experience leading different events, and has a leadership position starting this year. There are some aspects she thinks are annoying and silly, but she sees this experience more as an investement in her future regarding networking and volunteer work. She will live in the house next year, and he rent will be much lower. Plus, the location of the house is very close to central campus area.

I think she got dropped by her first choice house, but is happy where she landed. She tells me about drug use (cocaine) by some members of top tier frats and sororities. Not all members are doing drugs of course. I am sure there is some use by brothers and sisters in all tiers, but she has noticed it only by some in those top houses.

Most of her friends are in Greek life as well. She has friends in different sororities too. Compared to what I have heard from Greek life at other schools, her sorority seems a lot more chill. For example, she knows a girl whose mom went down to her university (Alabama) on Bid Day to line the streets and cheer the girls on. None of that stuff happened at my DD’s school. That just seems so over the top!

Basically, so far, from my DD’, I think this has been a good experience for her. I can see though, how it can be a ridiculous, expensive, superficial, frustrating and heartbreaking experience for many.

Love how you sprinkle in drug use in top house. Doubt it and if in one then all. Usually there is cattiness toward top house if someone was dropped. Also to the mom who went to bid day well good for her. I think that is a nice thing. Maybe she was in a sorority and had happy memories.

I was just reporting what my daughter told me over break about drug usage. I hope this is not the norm. She implied the higher ranked houses had more members with the means to buy drugs. At first I assumed she meant it was the frats only. She then clarified it was also the sororities.

I guess I am not so gung-ho over the whole sorority stuff. I assume this is THEIR thing. That is why it just seemed odd, to me, for parents to hop on a plane for bid day. I wouldn’t want to be involved, unless the activity actually was for us, as in the parent formal. To each their own.

Seems as though your daughter was mad she got dropped and her way of handling this is to put those houses down. Sad.

Or, just maybe, she actually saw that.

Not every pnm is desperate to be in certain sororities for validation. She landed in a nice house, along with some of her friends, and is thriving.

I hope you have a fabulous day.

I promise you that there are mid tier groups that are dabbling in recreational drug use as well. Not sure it’s an either / or.

True but they don’t have access to the top shelf stuff

Just kidding to show how dum this top tier elite crap is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so messed up. Glad my daughters are completely uninterested in Greek nonsense.

This.

As a Brit couple that has been living in the DC for the last 12 years, it is beyond comprehension how absurd what these girls and families are willing to do to be a part of the Greek system. Such an American idiotic pay to play group…..

Oxford dining clubs, anybody?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so messed up. Glad my daughters are completely uninterested in Greek nonsense.

This.

As a Brit couple that has been living in the DC for the last 12 years, it is beyond comprehension how absurd what these girls and families are willing to do to be a part of the Greek system. Such an American idiotic pay to play group…..

Yes but the point is that in America, if you can figure out how to pay, you have a chance to play. The scene at Ox Camb etc is way more insular and closed off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed at UVA in 2010 (wow...how is that possible) but did not pledge a sorority. Not going to lie, it was...difficult.

I never really thought about/wanted to join a sorority prior to college - it was not on my radar, but I signed up for rush because it was such a big thing at UVA. I was out of state and didn't know anyone. Long story short, I ended up getting dropped from most sororities and getting a bid from what those on campus called the 'fat', 'loser' sorority (I may have been a loser, but I was not fat!) I declined the bid and decided not to be in a sorority at all.

EVEN AS someone who didn't really care that much about being in a sorority and went on to have good friends and a good college experience, it really stung. I remember telling my mom that 'a third of the girls at this school must not like me' after getting dropped nearly everywhere, and I always felt a bit insecure wondering what it was. In class, I'd wonder if I was sitting near a girl who dropped me or had talked badly about me during the decision-making process. Even looking back today, I wonder what was wrong with me at the time. And some people took it even harder - a girl in my dorm was so devastated her parents had to come up, and she nearly withdrew from the school (she ended up staying, fortunately, and getting really involved in a cool hobby group where she ended up meeting her husband, so all worked out).

Anyways, I find the system problematic and wouldn't support my daughter joining a sorority or rushing.

Same experience, same school, but in the 90s. If I could go back and choose a different college, I would pick one where there was no Greek system. It really soured my time there.

Counterpoint: I attended UVA in the late 90s and simply didn’t rush. I had a fabulous college experience. It’s not the school.

That’s fantastic and I don’t doubt that it’s possible, but you have to be a confident young 18 year old knowing that’s not for you. (I was not.) I naively went there thinking that’s what you had to do to have friends and was completely clueless about how cutthroat and demeaning the process would feel.

I know the stats are only like 30% Greek, but almost every girl on my hall rushed, so that’s what I did, too. If I had been lucky enough to be surrounded by other cool girls who were not rushing, maybe I would have skipped it, but that was not the case. I have a high school DD looking at colleges and I honestly can’t be enthusiastic about UVA because I found the social situation so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thinking you are better than “those” houses or the “awkward” girls is just as cringe-worthy as being rejected and judged by the “good” sororities that rejected you.

I mean ... they are 19. What do you want from them?

Many are only 17 and 18. Lots of schools do rush before the fall semester.

But it’s telling that they keep saying it’s ok for the houses to pick the girls, but it’s not okay for the girls to pick the houses. According to them, the houses are always right when they pick a girl, but the girls are just bratty if they dare to have preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the women I know who grew up in the south think sorority life was the peak and defining time of their life and still mention their house when they meet new people, still wear their house colors, still identify as XYZ whenever they can.

All the women I know who grew up outside the south said they had fun for a year or two but then it was pretty cringy.

Fake news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the women I know who grew up in the south think sorority life was the peak and defining time of their life and still mention their house when they meet new people, still wear their house colors, still identify as XYZ whenever they can.

All the women I know who grew up outside the south said they had fun for a year or two but then it was pretty cringy.

Fake news.

You’ve obviously not lived in Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Nevada, Virginia, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. You should get out more. Cultures are different.

[Anonymous]

I was really pretty in college. I should have rushed. I was too hipster and alternative back then though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy our daughter didn't fall into the trap of sorority girl life.

You mean she didn't get a bid.

[Anonymous]

There is a lot of cocaine use on most campuses these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the women I know who grew up in the south think sorority life was the peak and defining time of their life and still mention their house when they meet new people, still wear their house colors, still identify as XYZ whenever they can.

All the women I know who grew up outside the south said they had fun for a year or two but then it was pretty cringy.

Fake news.

You’ve obviously not lived in Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Nevada, Virginia, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. You should get out more. Cultures are different.

NP here. I am from Virginia and went to school in North Carolina. I don't know what women who grew up in the south but either your lying or know hardly anyone. Gossiping stereotypes is gross. Do better.