Daughter & Son expect carryout when we go out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

[Anonymous]

Some of these posts are so weird to me. My mom was a SAHM and we had home cooked meals 6 days a week. The other day was takeout or out for a family night out. Having to find my own dinner at 16 or 17 was never neglect. If anything my brother and I enjoyed getting to eat crap my mom would usually scoff at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

But with a lot of irrational anger, for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

But with a lot of irrational anger, for some reason.

What anger? I don’t actually care if y’all are sh!tty parents, but I do feel a bit sorry for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

She didn't say he wouldn't bat an eye coming home to no dinner at age 7.
Why are so many of you so adamantly appalled that a 17 year old might have to figure out one meal? Must be some un-explored deeper issues. What if one parent had to go out of town for work for a week and the other became sick during that week? Sick parent is supposed to get up and prepare three meals a day or phone in for delivery? How about the 17 year old pitch in and prepare some soup for sick parent and herself? Oh, right. She wouldn't know how to because she doesn't need foundational life skills to function like an adult before she's 18. Good news, OP: once your daughter is 18, you're off the hook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

But with a lot of irrational anger, for some reason.

What anger? I don’t actually care if y’all are sh!tty parents, but I do feel a bit sorry for your kids.

Feeling is mutual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello,
Thank you for the responses. It's good to hear and and think about. I guess I should have wrote a little more. First, before I was able to ask her what she wanted from somewhere else,( even if it was fastfood,) thats when she said that. Also, one of the main reasons we didnt text her to find out what she wants was because she hates the food from this particular place. Never wants anything from there, which is fine.
We have an abundance of food in our house, but she doesnt like to make anything for herself. Which Ive asked her if we could cook some easy meals together so she would know how.
She won't really eat leftovers, but quick little meals is what we always have in the pantry or fridge.
I have communicated to both kids that we won't be able to always bring carryout out for them, especially if we ask them to go and they just want to stay home on their phones. Thought this could encourage a little family time.
I just thought it was a little rude and sometimes I don't know anymore

Oh wow. Your daughter IS rude, and entitled. She won’t fix herself food and won’t eat leftovers? That is a lifestyle preference she will have to get over quickly, unless you are willing to fund her takeout bill all through her young adulthood. Considering she drove herself home from work, she could have easily went through a drive-thru as well.

And no, I would absolutely not pick up carry out if they are invited out to dinner with us and they don’t want to go because they want to sit and scroll on their phone at home.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is not a problem much longer. She'll be at college next year.

Adults feed themselves.

[Anonymous]

08:19 again, and at 18 they grocery shopped and fixed for themselves whatever they were going to eat. I was not worrying about having anything in particular in the house for them.

I never would have done this carry-out nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Yes in our family either leaving a meal in the fridge or door dash or bringing home carry out would be expected for the 17 year old.

[Anonymous]

How is a 17 year old not in high school? Why no college? Why is the 24 yr old around, hope he's not living at home.

[Anonymous]

OP, stop focusing on "rude." Adults can say what they will or will not do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

She didn't say he wouldn't bat an eye coming home to no dinner at age 7.
Why are so many of you so adamantly appalled that a 17 year old might have to figure out one meal? Must be some un-explored deeper issues. What if one parent had to go out of town for work for a week and the other became sick during that week? Sick parent is supposed to get up and prepare three meals a day or phone in for delivery? How about the 17 year old pitch in and prepare some soup for sick parent and herself? Oh, right. She wouldn't know how to because she doesn't need foundational life skills to function like an adult before she's 18. Good news, OP: once your daughter is 18, you're off the hook.

Not sure people are appalled at a 17 year old figuring out a meal. I think it’s more that on this particular day, the 17 year old worked a double shift and was likely really tired yet her parents went out and refused to bring her food. It’s just kind of mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

You are reading something into her post that isn't there. No one is criticizing you for cooking for your family, so chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid came home and there was no dinner, he’d make something for himself. Not a big deal. He wouldn’t expect that I would bring him food. He’s capable of making his own because I taught him starting around age 7-8.

So you have been training him from the time he was 7 years old to know that he can’t rely on you. I know you think this is a parenting flex, but I think it’s depressing.

Teaching your child how to cook is not teaching them they can't rely on you. It is teaching them they can rely on themselves. PP did NOT say she left her 7 year old to fend for himself.

She said her kid wouldn’t bat an eye if he came home and mom and dad had not put in the slightest effort (mental or physical) into what he was going to have for dinner that night. Which means he’s used to being neglected. (And not providing your kids with meals is absolutely a form of neglect, stop kidding yourselves.)

Some of you act like you’re superior parents, but in reality you’re just lazy and don’t feel like taking care of your kids. It’s way more fun to go out to a dinner and the kids can go eff themselves, the entitled little brats!

My parents cooked for me, and somehow I managed to become a functional adult who cooks for my kids. They’re not lacking any sort of foundational life skills by not being expected to function like adults before they are actually adults.

She didn't say he wouldn't bat an eye coming home to no dinner at age 7.
Why are so many of you so adamantly appalled that a 17 year old might have to figure out one meal? Must be some un-explored deeper issues. What if one parent had to go out of town for work for a week and the other became sick during that week? Sick parent is supposed to get up and prepare three meals a day or phone in for delivery? How about the 17 year old pitch in and prepare some soup for sick parent and herself? Oh, right. She wouldn't know how to because she doesn't need foundational life skills to function like an adult before she's 18. Good news, OP: once your daughter is 18, you're off the hook.

Not sure people are appalled at a 17 year old figuring out a meal. I think it’s more that on this particular day, the 17 year old worked a double shift and was likely really tired yet her parents went out and refused to bring her food. It’s just kind of mean.

Why wouldn’t she just stop somewhere then? It’s weird for a working and driving 17 yr old that knows Mom and Dad are out, to not just stop and get food. Or eat a bowl of cereal or scramble some eggs at home. But to call Mom and tell her to bring you home food when you just drove yourself home is odd.