Why pay all of kids' college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the people I know didn't have loans.

Are most of the people you know from very upper class families?

No, it was just cheaper back then. But now that I think about it, I know people who had grad school loans.

I don't know a single person who didn't have undergrad loans who wasn't very wealthy. (class of '89)

Considering college was cheaper back then, this exemplifies why the pressure for middle class to pay all of it is becoming unrealistic. There was a separate thread about saving $1M(!!!!).

Only the very wealthy can do that, or perhaps middle class who essentially live poorly and/or have some form of generational wealth (like didn't have loans, unexpected inheritance, etc.) to help them in that pursuit.

College was not that much cheaper given incomes and inflation. A private was still $40-50k 30 years ago.

No it wasn't. I attended a T10 uni, graduated in 93 (that university is now 90K+). My last year the total cost/all-in with all fees/travel/etc was estimated at 27K. My first year (took 5 years for 2 degrees) was ~$20 or 21K.

But the differential between private/public was still huge. My public U cost <$2k in tuition/fees (can't recall the room & board cost) so my parents insisted I do that vs. private college that they felt was too expensive.

Agreed. My BA Econ from Pitt in the 90's was 35% of the cost of my sibling's in-state Cornell CALS/Engineering degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking of escalating college costs, I graduated from college in 2002 and the tuition + room and board was just about $31k. My father celebrated the last year of paying college tuitions by buying a new BMW 3-series, which cost him $31k.

He had that car for 10 years and replaced it with another BMW 3 series in 2021, which cost, I believe, 39k. My alma mater that same year cost 52k all inclusive.

I enjoyed this anecdote! Makes the point vividly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this new expectation that the average middle class person is supposed to save to pay for 100 percent of their kid's college. Growing up, everyone had loans, I knew of almost no one who didn't have loans to pay off. Some incurred additional debt from grad school. They've all done just fine.

I do get that college tuition is substantially more than it used to be, has risen much faster than the cost of inflation. But still, that doesn't mean you have to cut corners so tightly as to possibly cut back on retirement, or constantly live on a very tight budget. And it doesn't mean that you must work even harder to cover 100 percent of your kids' tuition.

I expect to cover at least two years of state school tuition, maybe 3 for my kids. They can make their own choices from there.

Discuss.

That’s not the issue. Many people on this site are high w-2 earners but don’t have tons of wealth. They aren’t going to qualify for financial aid. So either they pony up or their kids have high interest loans.

The system is so messed up. Education is a societal good. Why we have made it so expensive is beyond me.

The issue is they are living a higher lifestyle than they can afford when you include college and grad school savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this new expectation that the average middle class person is supposed to save to pay for 100 percent of their kid's college. Growing up, everyone had loans, I knew of almost no one who didn't have loans to pay off. Some incurred additional debt from grad school. They've all done just fine.

I do get that college tuition is substantially more than it used to be, has risen much faster than the cost of inflation. But still, that doesn't mean you have to cut corners so tightly as to possibly cut back on retirement, or constantly live on a very tight budget. And it doesn't mean that you must work even harder to cover 100 percent of your kids' tuition.

I expect to cover at least two years of state school tuition, maybe 3 for my kids. They can make their own choices from there.

Discuss.

That’s not the issue. Many people on this site are high w-2 earners but don’t have tons of wealth. They aren’t going to qualify for financial aid. So either they pony up or their kids have high interest loans.

The system is so messed up. Education is a societal good. Why we have made it so expensive is beyond me.

The issue is they are living a higher lifestyle than they can afford when you include college and grad school savings.

Is it my 9 year old car or my small townhouse far out that gives away I am living above my means? Tell me more!

[Anonymous]

Part of the reason to pay all of kids' college is to not give the kids an excuse not to pursue a college degree.

If your kids are highly motivated to graduate from college (no matter what), then I think it's probably a small risk to have them pay part of their costs.

But in our case, our DD and DS (now in college) would be very reluctant to take loans. They would literally prefer not to attend college (even though DH and I both went to Top 25 universities and law schools). So we need to do everything we can to motivate them to get a college degree. That includes paying for it.

My DH went to college mainly on a Pell Grant, with some loans for law school. My parents paid for college, and I paid for law school with loans.
We both easily paid off the loans within a few years of graduation. We viewed the loans as investments in our future, and we were not reluctant to take the loans.

Today's generation has been hearing all of the horror stories (on TikTok etc) about not being able to pay back student loans. But my understanding is that, by living frugally for several years after college, most people can pay them off. I wish that a university education were funded by the government (as they do in Europe), as I think that we need more educated people in the USA. However, until that changes, I think that it's ideal for parents to pay if possible (to avoid giving kids an excuse not to go to college). (But if the kids are highly motivated, then I think that the parents do not have to pay all.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Part of the reason to pay all of kids' college is to not give the kids an excuse not to pursue a college degree.

If your kids are highly motivated to graduate from college (no matter what), then I think it's probably a small risk to have them pay part of their costs.

But in our case, our DD and DS (now in college) would be very reluctant to take loans. They would literally prefer not to attend college (even though DH and I both went to Top 25 universities and law schools). So we need to do everything we can to motivate them to get a college degree. That includes paying for it.

My DH went to college mainly on a Pell Grant, with some loans for law school. My parents paid for college, and I paid for law school with loans.
We both easily paid off the loans within a few years of graduation. We viewed the loans as investments in our future, and we were not reluctant to take the loans.

Today's generation has been hearing all of the horror stories (on TikTok etc) about not being able to pay back student loans. But my understanding is that, by living frugally for several years after college, most people can pay them off. I wish that a university education were funded by the government (as they do in Europe), as I think that we need more educated people in the USA. However, until that changes, I think that it's ideal for parents to pay if possible (to avoid giving kids an excuse not to go to college). (But if the kids are highly motivated, then I think that the parents do not have to pay all.)

This sounds like bad parenting You are supposed to encourage your kids to do what they like. You are forcing them to go to college when they aren’t interested. Don’t waste your money paying for a college degree that they don’t like and won’t use. You are supposed to use that money to help them succeed in the path the choose.

[Anonymous]

I was happy to pay. It did not affect our ability to save or to vacation. That is privilege, I know.

My parents paid for me and it was less costly then.

I never worried about my DD taking it seriously. I don’t think “skin in the game” matters. A kid who won’t take it seriously, should delay going until s/he will

[Anonymous]

I am paying 100%. It is too important and too expensive to push off on teenagers. I do not want my kids to be saddled with debt. It makes you have to make big sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised at all the kids who go to state schools over private because they don’t want to take on loans.

I went to college on financial aid and scholarships. I went to Harvard for grad school on loans. I was able to pay off my loans easily.

We can pay for our kids college and grad school. Even if we couldn’t, I would have urged my kids to go to the best school possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this new expectation that the average middle class person is supposed to save to pay for 100 percent of their kid's college. Growing up, everyone had loans, I knew of almost no one who didn't have loans to pay off. Some incurred additional debt from grad school. They've all done just fine.

I do get that college tuition is substantially more than it used to be, has risen much faster than the cost of inflation. But still, that doesn't mean you have to cut corners so tightly as to possibly cut back on retirement, or constantly live on a very tight budget. And it doesn't mean that you must work even harder to cover 100 percent of your kids' tuition.

I expect to cover at least two years of state school tuition, maybe 3 for my kids. They can make their own choices from there.

Discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this new expectation that the average middle class person is supposed to save to pay for 100 percent of their kid's college. Growing up, everyone had loans, I knew of almost no one who didn't have loans to pay off. Some incurred additional debt from grad school. They've all done just fine.

I do get that college tuition is substantially more than it used to be, has risen much faster than the cost of inflation. But still, that doesn't mean you have to cut corners so tightly as to possibly cut back on retirement, or constantly live on a very tight budget. And it doesn't mean that you must work even harder to cover 100 percent of your kids' tuition.

I expect to cover at least two years of state school tuition, maybe 3 for my kids. They can make their own choices from there.

Discuss.

You have more kids than your income. Should have shut down that crap after kid #2!!!

[Anonymous]

I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

Not understanding this. Plenty of kids that have to take loans (vs someone just opting to not pay 100%) have tons of grit and hustle.

Not quite understanding how someone without loans is by default more “competitive”….whatever that even means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

Not understanding this. Plenty of kids that have to take loans (vs someone just opting to not pay 100%) have tons of grit and hustle.

Not quite understanding how someone without loans is by default more “competitive”….whatever that even means.

And I don't even want you to understand.

"Grit and hustle" ...are your kids drinking this koolaid? Oh man!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

Not understanding this. Plenty of kids that have to take loans (vs someone just opting to not pay 100%) have tons of grit and hustle.

Not quite understanding how someone without loans is by default more “competitive”….whatever that even means.

And I don't even want you to understand.

"Grit and hustle" ...are your kids drinking this koolaid? Oh man!!

Sounds like your kids are lazy POS…so again explain how a lazy POS is more competitive.

Oh yeah…you can’t.