Re: One Day - Real life examples of couples who are physically mismatched

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many Asian woman - White man couples in metro areas. They are almost without exception highly educated people who met in their highly selective college, graduate school, at their white-shoe firm, tech company, etc., etc. Young people in close proximity to each other in these "curated spaces" gravitate towards each other, even if people on the outside of these circles don't get it.

Yes, but they are usually very unattractive. Smart yes, ugly yes.

In cities like DC ("Hollywood for ugly people"), being thin, well educated, and rich get you farther along than being attractive, poor, and lacking educational pedigree.

You do realize that they are also rich, well educated, attractive people? But they tend to stick to their own, whatever they own is.

There aren't that many though. Assuming we mean really attractive in a conventional way. If we're taking attractive to mean well-groomed/fit, then sure, I agree.

[Anonymous]

In every movie/show/book, one or both persons in a relationship is always good looking. More often the women which is why the flip in One Day is its “hook.” Watch the show The Tourist- same dynamic. But in both One Day and The Tourist, one person in the relationship - the man in both - is still very good looking.

IRL, usually both the man and woman are average to “pulled together,” and it is easier for women to be “pulled together” due to make up, clothing styles, hair styling etc. So I’d say the reality is that most couples aren’t mismatched but are both in the average bandwidth.

[Anonymous]

Have you all seen Jeff's rundown of this thread? It's classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

No one is feeling threatened by anything. We’re just confused by why the unattractive women of color think the unattractive white men they are dating are so hot. They aren’t.

What is it to you?

Don't be confused. Find your own hot/ not so hot man/ woman and be happy.

I think what bothers me is the internalized racism. How the ugly Asian chick thinks the ugly white guy is hot just because he isn’t an ugly Asian guy and vice versa. (For instance when the ugly Jewish guy thinks the ugly Asian chick is hot because she isn’t an ugly Jewish girl.)

That sort of self hate bothers me.

Do these people tell you these things? How come you know so many people who have this perception?

My best friend in college was a very cute Asian girl. She wasn’t beautiful, but she was super cute. In order for her to be remotely interested in an Asian guy, he had to be very good looking, but any run of the mill White guy would do. I thought it was sad. (She ended up with an ugly White guy and her kids are very, very unattractive. I don’t get it.)

I knew lots of others like this, especially Indian girls and Jewish guys. They’d prefer anyone to their own. Successful Black guys are famous for this, too. Is this really something new for you!?! I knew lots of people like this because I went to college with a lot of South and East Asians and Jews. Meanwhile, I never met one say Chinese/Indian couple in college. I’ve met a few since, but none of the people involved went to college in the US. All the Asians I knew in college l, who did interracial dating, had their eye on the prize: a white person.

If that’s not self-hating, I don’t know what is.

These things can be more complicated than you assume.

I cannot speak to your examples, but I did something similar based on bias from my childhood and not necessarily self hatred.

I am an African immigrant who "preferred" white guys and married one. It had nothing to do with looks. I wanted a husband who would split household chores and childcare evenly. I grew up around African men who did not, and the only white husband I knew did ( a relative's husband). So I grew up believing that white men were more likely to cook and clean and be hands on with children.

My DH cooks, cleans, does laundry and is very hands on with the children. It's a self fulfilling prophecy because I know many white men who do not do much at home. In fact, the laziest spouse I know is a white husband who does not clean, does not cook and will never change a diaper.

I have 2 African male relatives my DH's age who do even more than my DH does at home. But I never saw these examples growing up. These gender roles are changing in all cultures, but I only noticed African men in my family and circle doing this after I got married.

If I was not ignorant when I married in my 20s, I would have widened my circle. But I don't really have regrets because DH is an equal partner at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

Yes, attractive Asian women date attractive Asian men. Unattractive Asian women date UNATTRACTIVE men. I know lots of Asian women/white men couples. None of the people involved are anything to write home about. This is common knowledge.

And they often reproduce to make attractive smart babies. I know several average looking smart Asian/white couples who have beautiful children. Think Priscilla Chan/mark zuckerburg types. I’m not sure what their children will grow up to look like but probably more attractive than they are individually.

Haven’t you already seen where this leads, to? No, those babies are only cute until puberty. And then their parents’ unattractive features rear their ugly heads. It’s actually worse than Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg individually because at least Priscilla and Mark are a specific type. Their kids are a weird combination of both parents ugly. It’s bad, really bad.

Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, another weird looking couple. I don’t get THAT at all. Serena looks like a dude. Maybe she’s a beard. Let’s see what their kid looks like when they hit puberty.

[Anonymous]

No amount of "body acceptance/positivity" nonsense is going to change the fact that the overwhelming majority of men seek out physically-attractive partners (whether hetero or gay). If they can't get it due to their own looks/lack of wealth/power, they settle for what they can get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

Yes, attractive Asian women date attractive Asian men. Unattractive Asian women date UNATTRACTIVE men. I know lots of Asian women/white men couples. None of the people involved are anything to write home about. This is common knowledge.

And they often reproduce to make attractive smart babies. I know several average looking smart Asian/white couples who have beautiful children. Think Priscilla Chan/mark zuckerburg types. I’m not sure what their children will grow up to look like but probably more attractive than they are individually.

Haven’t you already seen where this leads, to? No, those babies are only cute until puberty. And then their parents’ unattractive features rear their ugly heads. It’s actually worse than Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg individually because at least Priscilla and Mark are a specific type. Their kids are a weird combination of both parents ugly. It’s bad, really bad.

Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, another weird looking couple. I don’t get THAT at all. Serena looks like a dude. Maybe she’s a beard. Let’s see what their kid looks like when they hit puberty.

I think Serena is hot.

-Conventiionally good looking, middle aged straight white guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No amount of "body acceptance/positivity" nonsense is going to change the fact that the overwhelming majority of men seek out physically-attractive partners (whether hetero or gay). If they can't get it due to their own looks/lack of wealth/power, they settle for what they can get.

Why is it settling if they are getting their equals in looks and/ or power. You are weird!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

Yes, attractive Asian women date attractive Asian men. Unattractive Asian women date UNATTRACTIVE men. I know lots of Asian women/white men couples. None of the people involved are anything to write home about. This is common knowledge.

And they often reproduce to make attractive smart babies. I know several average looking smart Asian/white couples who have beautiful children. Think Priscilla Chan/mark zuckerburg types. I’m not sure what their children will grow up to look like but probably more attractive than they are individually.

Haven’t you already seen where this leads, to? No, those babies are only cute until puberty. And then their parents’ unattractive features rear their ugly heads. It’s actually worse than Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg individually because at least Priscilla and Mark are a specific type. Their kids are a weird combination of both parents ugly. It’s bad, really bad.

Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, another weird looking couple. I don’t get THAT at all. Serena looks like a dude. Maybe she’s a beard. Let’s see what their kid looks like when they hit puberty.

Yeah because you know dudes with big boobs and big butts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No amount of "body acceptance/positivity" nonsense is going to change the fact that the overwhelming majority of men seek out physically-attractive partners (whether hetero or gay). If they can't get it due to their own looks/lack of wealth/power, they settle for what they can get.

Why is it settling if they are getting their equals in looks and/ or power. You are weird!

*I* don't consider settling. I should've put it in quotation marks.

I'm saying THEY consider it settling. Most men due have huge egos (even if they don't show it). Many of them believe they *deserve* the "supermodel." Why do you think incels exist? Because they'd rather have no woman than "settle" for anyone who isn't a 10.

[Anonymous]

do* have huge egos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

Yes, attractive Asian women date attractive Asian men. Unattractive Asian women date UNATTRACTIVE men. I know lots of Asian women/white men couples. None of the people involved are anything to write home about. This is common knowledge.

And they often reproduce to make attractive smart babies. I know several average looking smart Asian/white couples who have beautiful children. Think Priscilla Chan/mark zuckerburg types. I’m not sure what their children will grow up to look like but probably more attractive than they are individually.

Haven’t you already seen where this leads, to? No, those babies are only cute until puberty. And then their parents’ unattractive features rear their ugly heads. It’s actually worse than Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg individually because at least Priscilla and Mark are a specific type. Their kids are a weird combination of both parents ugly. It’s bad, really bad.

I honestly don’t know what their kids look like. I saw some pictures of them when they were toddlers.

I actually think many people are beautiful, often mixed race people. In my circles, there are quite a few extremely good looking mixed Asian and white people, not just East Asian but south Asian. I might be biased because I’m Asian.

I’m an attractive Asian married to a fellow attractive Asian. We have good looking kids.

Maybe it is just our circles or my opinion but I think the half white half Asian, half white half black kids are the most beautiful.

I don't know about white/black biracial kids since I don't see that pairing often where I live now (not in DMV), but I feel like most white/asian kids turn out looking generic hispanic regardless of their parents level of attractiveness. I know more than a handful of couples where the asian mom or white dad (or both but that is rare) are model-level beautiful but their kids all look like average hispanic kids. Same if the parents are below average looking asian and white.

Genetics are fascinating.

I also know a lot of mixed Asian white kids. I admit I know more kids (under 18) than adults. There are some who look Hispanic. Others are great mixes of the two parents and got the best of both worlds. Others do look quite awkward and average or below average.

One of my kids’ best looking friends is half Indian and half white and he indeed can pass as Hispanic. We have Persian and Filipino friends who say they are often mistaken as Mexican. The half Indian half white, Persian and Filipino do look Latina but they are al attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

No one is feeling threatened by anything. We’re just confused by why the unattractive women of color think the unattractive white men they are dating are so hot. They aren’t.

What is it to you?

Don't be confused. Find your own hot/ not so hot man/ woman and be happy.

I think what bothers me is the internalized racism. How the ugly Asian chick thinks the ugly white guy is hot just because he isn’t an ugly Asian guy and vice versa. (For instance when the ugly Jewish guy thinks the ugly Asian chick is hot because she isn’t an ugly Jewish girl.)

That sort of self hate bothers me.

Do these people tell you these things? How come you know so many people who have this perception?

My best friend in college was a very cute Asian girl. She wasn’t beautiful, but she was super cute. In order for her to be remotely interested in an Asian guy, he had to be very good looking, but any run of the mill White guy would do. I thought it was sad. (She ended up with an ugly White guy and her kids are very, very unattractive. I don’t get it.)

I knew lots of others like this, especially Indian girls and Jewish guys. They’d prefer anyone to their own. Successful Black guys are famous for this, too. Is this really something new for you!?! I knew lots of people like this because I went to college with a lot of South and East Asians and Jews. Meanwhile, I never met one say Chinese/Indian couple in college. I’ve met a few since, but none of the people involved went to college in the US. All the Asians I knew in college l, who did interracial dating, had their eye on the prize: a white person.

If that’s not self-hating, I don’t know what is.

I could have been your friend but I ended up marrying a good looking Asian guy. I dated both Asian and white guys in high school, college and grad school. I only liked good looking white guys though.

The Asian girls who marry white guys usually has a husband who adapts more to Asian American culture or the Asian woman abandons her culture. There is this one Asian mom at my kids’ school who is so nice to the white moms but she ignores and avoids all Asian people. She is mocked by the Asians. We have made jokes about how she will not act like she knows you even when you are the only two Asian people in a class. I feel kind of sorry for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

Yes, attractive Asian women date attractive Asian men. Unattractive Asian women date UNATTRACTIVE men. I know lots of Asian women/white men couples. None of the people involved are anything to write home about. This is common knowledge.

And they often reproduce to make attractive smart babies. I know several average looking smart Asian/white couples who have beautiful children. Think Priscilla Chan/mark zuckerburg types. I’m not sure what their children will grow up to look like but probably more attractive than they are individually.

Haven’t you already seen where this leads, to? No, those babies are only cute until puberty. And then their parents’ unattractive features rear their ugly heads. It’s actually worse than Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg individually because at least Priscilla and Mark are a specific type. Their kids are a weird combination of both parents ugly. It’s bad, really bad.

I honestly don’t know what their kids look like. I saw some pictures of them when they were toddlers.

I actually think many people are beautiful, often mixed race people. In my circles, there are quite a few extremely good looking mixed Asian and white people, not just East Asian but south Asian. I might be biased because I’m Asian.

I’m an attractive Asian married to a fellow attractive Asian. We have good looking kids.

Maybe it is just our circles or my opinion but I think the half white half Asian, half white half black kids are the most beautiful.

I don't know about white/black biracial kids since I don't see that pairing often where I live now (not in DMV), but I feel like most white/asian kids turn out looking generic hispanic regardless of their parents level of attractiveness. I know more than a handful of couples where the asian mom or white dad (or both but that is rare) are model-level beautiful but their kids all look like average hispanic kids. Same if the parents are below average looking asian and white.

Genetics are fascinating.

I also know a lot of mixed Asian white kids. I admit I know more kids (under 18) than adults. There are some who look Hispanic. Others are great mixes of the two parents and got the best of both worlds. Others do look quite awkward and average or below average.

One of my kids’ best looking friends is half Indian and half white and he indeed can pass as Hispanic. We have Persian and Filipino friends who say they are often mistaken as Mexican. The half Indian half white, Persian and Filipino do look Latina but they are al attractive.

You have written your post in a way to suggest that looking Hispanic is not attractive. I hope this was just poor drafting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of white women who feel threatened by plain looking women of color dating good looking white guys, it seems?

Asian American woman here - it's well known in our circles that you don't have to be a particularly attractive Asian woman to have non-Asian men attracted to you. So long as you are thin and with shiny hair, an Asian woman will get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, this is largely due to historically ingrained stereotypes that sexualize Asian women, but the point stands.

Yes, attractive Asian women date attractive Asian men. Unattractive Asian women date UNATTRACTIVE men. I know lots of Asian women/white men couples. None of the people involved are anything to write home about. This is common knowledge.

And they often reproduce to make attractive smart babies. I know several average looking smart Asian/white couples who have beautiful children. Think Priscilla Chan/mark zuckerburg types. I’m not sure what their children will grow up to look like but probably more attractive than they are individually.

Haven’t you already seen where this leads, to? No, those babies are only cute until puberty. And then their parents’ unattractive features rear their ugly heads. It’s actually worse than Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg individually because at least Priscilla and Mark are a specific type. Their kids are a weird combination of both parents ugly. It’s bad, really bad.

I honestly don’t know what their kids look like. I saw some pictures of them when they were toddlers.

I actually think many people are beautiful, often mixed race people. In my circles, there are quite a few extremely good looking mixed Asian and white people, not just East Asian but south Asian. I might be biased because I’m Asian.

I’m an attractive Asian married to a fellow attractive Asian. We have good looking kids.

Maybe it is just our circles or my opinion but I think the half white half Asian, half white half black kids are the most beautiful.

I don't know about white/black biracial kids since I don't see that pairing often where I live now (not in DMV), but I feel like most white/asian kids turn out looking generic hispanic regardless of their parents level of attractiveness. I know more than a handful of couples where the asian mom or white dad (or both but that is rare) are model-level beautiful but their kids all look like average hispanic kids. Same if the parents are below average looking asian and white.

Genetics are fascinating.

I also know a lot of mixed Asian white kids. I admit I know more kids (under 18) than adults. There are some who look Hispanic. Others are great mixes of the two parents and got the best of both worlds. Others do look quite awkward and average or below average.

One of my kids’ best looking friends is half Indian and half white and he indeed can pass as Hispanic. We have Persian and Filipino friends who say they are often mistaken as Mexican. The half Indian half white, Persian and Filipino do look Latina but they are al attractive.

You have written your post in a way to suggest that looking Hispanic is not attractive. I hope this was just poor drafting!

Not at all. They are beautiful. I was typing on my phone.

I believe all races have attractive and unattractive people. I personally think mixed races are the most beautiful of all, the good mixes of course.