Offering Support to Jewish Friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Jewish and appreciate the sort of awkward generic texts I’ve been getting from friends that say things like, “I just wanted to check in, we live in depressing times.” I know they don’t want to say the wrong thing but want me to know they “see” me and have empathy for my pain. And for me, it is pain. And as a mother of Jewish kids, it’s fear as well. These friends by and large don’t know that I have five cousins serving in the IDF because I only met them once, 25 years ago, and I don’t talk about them, but as a Jewish American who is witnessing all sorts of antisemitism in my country and seeing the kind of horrific attacks Hamas inflicted on the people of Israel, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable and scared and also quite connected to what’s happening across the world. And for the record, my heart is breaking for all the innocent victims of this horror, including those who live in Gaza.

As a non-Jew who has been sending awkward texts, this is good to hear. Everyone but one person responded in an appreciative way. The one who didn’t is actually the closest friend - yikes, maybe a text was dismissive and I should have waited to see her in person? I’m going to see her soon so hopefully we’ll work it out.

I can count on one hand the number of non-Jews who have reached out to me and I am super super grateful for anything they send, however short or awkward or vague. So thanks on behalf of anyone you have reached out to, it means a lot

I feel the same way. I am so grateful to those people who sent kind messages and will not forget it By the same token, there are other people who have been absent, and it is very disappointing. I'm not looking for political discussions. Just humanity.

Another poster claimed that they can't say anything to Jewish friends because they'll then be required to denounce all Palestinians or some such nonsense. Maybe there are people like that, but I'm certainly not one nor are my friends and family. We are humans, we have hearts, and we want peace.

This is the very issue, though. We don't know if you're that person. And I don't want to take the chance that you are that person, especially after reading the Politics forum where this mentality (you take it further and press me on the Palestinians, I say something about the settlers, and you call me an anti-semite) is running rampant. It would ruin our relationship. I'd rather wait to have that particular discussion until time has passed. But I don't know if you're going to make me have that discussion today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Jewish and appreciate the sort of awkward generic texts I’ve been getting from friends that say things like, “I just wanted to check in, we live in depressing times.” I know they don’t want to say the wrong thing but want me to know they “see” me and have empathy for my pain. And for me, it is pain. And as a mother of Jewish kids, it’s fear as well. These friends by and large don’t know that I have five cousins serving in the IDF because I only met them once, 25 years ago, and I don’t talk about them, but as a Jewish American who is witnessing all sorts of antisemitism in my country and seeing the kind of horrific attacks Hamas inflicted on the people of Israel, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable and scared and also quite connected to what’s happening across the world. And for the record, my heart is breaking for all the innocent victims of this horror, including those who live in Gaza.

As a non-Jew who has been sending awkward texts, this is good to hear. Everyone but one person responded in an appreciative way. The one who didn’t is actually the closest friend - yikes, maybe a text was dismissive and I should have waited to see her in person? I’m going to see her soon so hopefully we’ll work it out.

I can count on one hand the number of non-Jews who have reached out to me and I am super super grateful for anything they send, however short or awkward or vague. So thanks on behalf of anyone you have reached out to, it means a lot

I feel the same way. I am so grateful to those people who sent kind messages and will not forget it By the same token, there are other people who have been absent, and it is very disappointing. I'm not looking for political discussions. Just humanity.

Another poster claimed that they can't say anything to Jewish friends because they'll then be required to denounce all Palestinians or some such nonsense. Maybe there are people like that, but I'm certainly not one nor are my friends and family. We are humans, we have hearts, and we want peace.

This is the very issue, though. We don't know if you're that person. And I don't want to take the chance that you are that person, especially after reading the Politics forum where this mentality (you take it further and press me on the Palestinians, I say something about the settlers, and you call me an anti-semite) is running rampant. It would ruin our relationship. I'd rather wait to have that particular discussion until time has passed. But I don't know if you're going to make me have that discussion today.

I don't read the politics forum so won't opine on that but most Jewish or Israeli people are not radical or will press you to make certain statements. It seems like you have strong political feelings yourself and maybe you are correct to say nothing in this case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did Op ever come back? Most everyone has ignored her point altogether, especially the Jewish people who are complaining people didn’t reach out to them.

she wasn't asking a question.

So? She had a point which most people are ignoring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did Op ever come back? Most everyone has ignored her point altogether, especially the Jewish people who are complaining people didn’t reach out to them.

she wasn't asking a question.

So? She had a point which most people are ignoring.

I dunno. I get her point if it’s reach out from true randos (OP mentioned people she hadn’t spoken with in months contacting her) - like they were scanning their brain for “Jew” and OP popped up. But from reasonably close acquaintance - seems unobjectionable and possibly deeply appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Jewish and appreciate the sort of awkward generic texts I’ve been getting from friends that say things like, “I just wanted to check in, we live in depressing times.” I know they don’t want to say the wrong thing but want me to know they “see” me and have empathy for my pain. And for me, it is pain. And as a mother of Jewish kids, it’s fear as well. These friends by and large don’t know that I have five cousins serving in the IDF because I only met them once, 25 years ago, and I don’t talk about them, but as a Jewish American who is witnessing all sorts of antisemitism in my country and seeing the kind of horrific attacks Hamas inflicted on the people of Israel, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable and scared and also quite connected to what’s happening across the world. And for the record, my heart is breaking for all the innocent victims of this horror, including those who live in Gaza.

As a non-Jew who has been sending awkward texts, this is good to hear. Everyone but one person responded in an appreciative way. The one who didn’t is actually the closest friend - yikes, maybe a text was dismissive and I should have waited to see her in person? I’m going to see her soon so hopefully we’ll work it out.

I would not appreciate it as I have don’t have a connection. All those people suffering and dying is horrific. Israel had every right to attack back but the human toll on both sides for and unnecessary dispute is horrific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did Op ever come back? Most everyone has ignored her point altogether, especially the Jewish people who are complaining people didn’t reach out to them.

she wasn't asking a question.

So? She had a point which most people are ignoring.

I get what she’s saying but also - I mean, doesn’t she have inherent connection to Israel? It’s a country where she has an automatic citizenship right and that proclaims itself a refuge for her should she ever need it and has Judaism’s holiest and most historic sites. I don’t think that’s invoking dual loyalty on her part. Plus, it isn’t really narrowly about Israel in this instance because Hamas is broadly anti-Semitic not just anti-settler or anti-Israeli.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Jewish and appreciate the sort of awkward generic texts I’ve been getting from friends that say things like, “I just wanted to check in, we live in depressing times.” I know they don’t want to say the wrong thing but want me to know they “see” me and have empathy for my pain. And for me, it is pain. And as a mother of Jewish kids, it’s fear as well. These friends by and large don’t know that I have five cousins serving in the IDF because I only met them once, 25 years ago, and I don’t talk about them, but as a Jewish American who is witnessing all sorts of antisemitism in my country and seeing the kind of horrific attacks Hamas inflicted on the people of Israel, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable and scared and also quite connected to what’s happening across the world. And for the record, my heart is breaking for all the innocent victims of this horror, including those who live in Gaza.

As a non-Jew who has been sending awkward texts, this is good to hear. Everyone but one person responded in an appreciative way. The one who didn’t is actually the closest friend - yikes, maybe a text was dismissive and I should have waited to see her in person? I’m going to see her soon so hopefully we’ll work it out.

I would not appreciate it as I have don’t have a connection. All those people suffering and dying is horrific. Israel had every right to attack back but the human toll on both sides for and unnecessary dispute is horrific.

That’s an interesting perspective. I wonder what percentage of American Jews have even been to Israel. From my own circles (as a non-Jew) it seemed like a ton of people went on birthright trips and felt a connection, but that can’t possibly be everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just sharing my perspective (I can’t speak for everyone. I am Jewish and grew up in a very Jewish area and have many friends on social media who are Jewish, but also lots who are not. After George Floyd lots of people of all backgrounds were posting. When Russia invaded Ukraine, lots of people were posting. During me too lots of people were posting, and so on and so forth. Yes, it’s a bit performative. But the overall vibe was we are in this together and we offer our support. This week, in my feed, lots of people were posting… but they were all Jewish. It was very conspicuous to me. The non Jews were not saying anything. I didn’t need their personal condolences but their silence felt eerie to me, like maybe they were keeping silent because they actually thought it was ok what happened or justified. We got impassioned letters about every other topic from the school system, but nothing for days about this (and then some really lukewarm messaging). In the absence of support or condemnation of the attack, we noticed this was not like all the other incidents where violence was called out. It added discomfort to an already very upsetting situation.

I'm Jewish and noticed the same thing. After other incidents in recent years, FB was full of BLM posts, Ukraine flags, etc. Yes, it's probably performative but, as you said, it was also a show of support. This time it's crickets. It's not politically correct for liberals (and I'm a Dem.) to acknowledge Jewish victims. Per usual, Jews (whether Israeli or of other nationalities) are held responsible for the acts of the Israeli government -- a standard that doesn't apply to other groups. The murder of Jews - elderly, women, children, young people at a peace concert - is minimized because supposedly they brought it upon themselves. These same people would never want to be held to account for Trump's actions. Yet for Jews it's different.

I am devastated by what's happening in Israel. I, and most Jewish people I know, have a connection to Israel (whether it's having friends or family there, having Israeli expat friends here, having spent time in Israel, etc.) and some are descendants of Holocaust survivors. A few non-Jewish friends reached out to me, simply to express how terrible things are and are thinking of me, and it meant a lot to me!

On the other hand, I've seen so much antisemitism this week in comments online and some of the statements on college campuses...it's very disheartening. I have a colleague who is very nice and very progressive. We see each other about once a week and always touch on current events in our conversations. It was so obvious when she said nothing this week, which I guess was a show of restraint for her.

Some of the supportive comments here from non-Jewish people made me feel better. Thank you.

What happened in Israel is atrocious, and it's also in the face of terrible abuses against Palestinians for generations.
Add in that that many people interpret pro-Palestinian as anti-semitic (not saying that is you but it's true) and you have that people don't want to say anything because it 1) it seems like we are condemning only Palestine, and it's more complicated than that, and 2) you raise Palestinians as also being victims, and you may be labeled anti-Semitic.

Well said. Some are apparently afraid that saying anything at all, even "know that I care about you and your family," will open the door to follow-up demands that they distill a complicated issue into blanket condemnation of Palestinians and disregard for Palestinian suffering. Which could easily lead to charges of anti-semitism and ruin friendships. And if you read some of the posts on DCUM, where some (not all) of Israel's supporters openly state they don't give two sh!!ts about the Palestinians, and they label as antisemitic anybody who expresses disgust with Hamas but is also concerned about settlements or something, that fear seems justified.

So it's possible op's friends are trying to save the friendship?

I'm going to call you out on something. There are a lot of liberal Jews who want a two-state solution (most of us do) and want Palestinian self rule over their own land - but EVEN though we want that, if we do not also denounce the legitimacy of Israel, we are not welcome in the liberal conversation. We have been, over the past decade, pushed out of the activist circles because we are forced to make a choice. Exactly why do you think that is? It has become crystal clear to me that indeed, antisemitism is the common undercurrent against which I have been swimming, and blind to, until last Saturday. And if you are going to force me to choose, I'm choosing Israel.

They’re doing you a favor because those circles are atrocious to begin with. Sorry you are just now figuring it out

PP here, yes that has also become crystal clear.

Sad but true. It pains me to say this but my friends who are most "progressive" are eerily silent on this. I guess I'm supposed to be grateful that they're not telling me what they actually think.

Let me say that I love having you as a friend. I love learning about your traditions and eating your food.

I would love to call you up and express my horror and deepest sympathy over Hamas' attacks last weekend. I would love to empathize with you over what's happening to your friends and family who are in Israel now.

But if I've learned anything from DCUM over the past week, it's that many of you expect me to agree that all Gazans and Palestinians support Hamas. Many of you expect me to agree that Israel is right in absolutely whatever it does. Some of you have actually argued in the Politics forum that the IDF's human rights abuses are justified. It's there on the screen for me to see.

And I just can't agree with some of that.

So, in some of your eyes, it would be just as bad if I do reach out--but then I go silent when you say "all" Gazans support Hamas. You expect my full-throated support for everything Israel does, and I'm falling short of that.

I don't know if you're one of those posters. But I don't want to take the chance that you are. Because if you are, you'll call me an anti-semite (a term that rolls so very, very easily off so many tongues) and it will wreck our friendship.

OK, let’s try this. This is an anonymous forum, so there is no risk to your friendships. You tell us what you want to say to those Jewish friends that you think might risk them calling you an antisemite. We will tell you whether we think your statements are antisemitic.

OK. I want to express my deepest concern for my friend and her family. I want her to know that I care about her anxiety.

But my friend is passionately proud of her heritage and in the past has said something like "we stand with Israel" when the situation has been complex.

Here's where it gets hard. I'm not going to raise it, but I suspect my friend will. I suspect she will ask me directly to condemn Hamas, and that she's very likely to be one of those people who claims all Gazans are Hamas members and therefore, if Israel levels the country, then it's Hamas' fault and Israel was just defending itself. You can find this sentiment expressed a gazillion times on the Politics forum over the past week. If I disagree, like the others in the Politics forum she's going to call me an anti-semite, even though that's not what's going on. And our friendship will be over.

If you can’t condemn Hamas, then yeah, just don’t start the conversation.

Meanwhile I don’t know a single Jewish person who fits the caricature you seem intent on creating.

This is exactly it.

What makes you think that person can't condemn Hamas?

Nothing. And for this caricature, just click on over to the Politics forum and you'll see multiple examples.

What makes me think it? The fact that people aren’t actually saying it! You are apparently one of them, you’re afraid that if you say it you’ll have to have another conversation where you equate all Palestinians to Hamas. Honestly, in the words of a Guardian columnist this week:

“It isn’t that difficult. You can condemn Hamas and name its actions as evil, even as you support the Palestinians in their quest for a life free of occupation and oppression. And there should still be room in your heart for a Jewish child whose last moments were filled with unimaginable terror – the same terror his grandparents, and their grandparents, thought they had escaped for ever.”

You completely refuse to listen to what people are saying in this forum and in Politics. You apparently can't say you support the Palestinians because then you'll get accused of being pro-terrorist.

Of course you find room in your heart for the dying Jewish child. If your conversation ended there, all would be really good. But the conversation often doesn't end there, because some want to push you to go further, to make you express disgust for all (non-Hamas) Gazans and Palestinians--and if you don't, they'll say you support the terrorists. Getting pushed into this next part of the conversation is what so many of us want to avoid.

But you won't listen, so....

Ok obviously I don’t know your friend who you seem to think has very extreme views. But I don’t know anyone who would want to push the conversation further. In my case, I would have already expressed this to you anyway - that I am outraged by Hamas but sad about all loss of innocent life. So you really wouldn’t need to say or do anything else. I seriously question the alleged friendship you have with this person because either s/he is a lunatic with mad views (or you are) or you don’t know him/her very well in which case… probably don’t bother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Jewish and appreciate the sort of awkward generic texts I’ve been getting from friends that say things like, “I just wanted to check in, we live in depressing times.” I know they don’t want to say the wrong thing but want me to know they “see” me and have empathy for my pain. And for me, it is pain. And as a mother of Jewish kids, it’s fear as well. These friends by and large don’t know that I have five cousins serving in the IDF because I only met them once, 25 years ago, and I don’t talk about them, but as a Jewish American who is witnessing all sorts of antisemitism in my country and seeing the kind of horrific attacks Hamas inflicted on the people of Israel, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable and scared and also quite connected to what’s happening across the world. And for the record, my heart is breaking for all the innocent victims of this horror, including those who live in Gaza.

As a non-Jew who has been sending awkward texts, this is good to hear. Everyone but one person responded in an appreciative way. The one who didn’t is actually the closest friend - yikes, maybe a text was dismissive and I should have waited to see her in person? I’m going to see her soon so hopefully we’ll work it out.

I can count on one hand the number of non-Jews who have reached out to me and I am super super grateful for anything they send, however short or awkward or vague. So thanks on behalf of anyone you have reached out to, it means a lot

I feel the same way. I am so grateful to those people who sent kind messages and will not forget it By the same token, there are other people who have been absent, and it is very disappointing. I'm not looking for political discussions. Just humanity.

Another poster claimed that they can't say anything to Jewish friends because they'll then be required to denounce all Palestinians or some such nonsense. Maybe there are people like that, but I'm certainly not one nor are my friends and family. We are humans, we have hearts, and we want peace.

This is the very issue, though. We don't know if you're that person. And I don't want to take the chance that you are that person, especially after reading the Politics forum where this mentality (you take it further and press me on the Palestinians, I say something about the settlers, and you call me an anti-semite) is running rampant. It would ruin our relationship. I'd rather wait to have that particular discussion until time has passed. But I don't know if you're going to make me have that discussion today.

I don't read the politics forum so won't opine on that but most Jewish or Israeli people are not radical or will press you to make certain statements. It seems like you have strong political feelings yourself and maybe you are correct to say nothing in this case.

Exactly this. You seem to want to make any conversation very political and so you should say nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just sharing my perspective (I can’t speak for everyone. I am Jewish and grew up in a very Jewish area and have many friends on social media who are Jewish, but also lots who are not. After George Floyd lots of people of all backgrounds were posting. When Russia invaded Ukraine, lots of people were posting. During me too lots of people were posting, and so on and so forth. Yes, it’s a bit performative. But the overall vibe was we are in this together and we offer our support. This week, in my feed, lots of people were posting… but they were all Jewish. It was very conspicuous to me. The non Jews were not saying anything. I didn’t need their personal condolences but their silence felt eerie to me, like maybe they were keeping silent because they actually thought it was ok what happened or justified. We got impassioned letters about every other topic from the school system, but nothing for days about this (and then some really lukewarm messaging). In the absence of support or condemnation of the attack, we noticed this was not like all the other incidents where violence was called out. It added discomfort to an already very upsetting situation.

I'm Jewish and noticed the same thing. After other incidents in recent years, FB was full of BLM posts, Ukraine flags, etc. Yes, it's probably performative but, as you said, it was also a show of support. This time it's crickets. It's not politically correct for liberals (and I'm a Dem.) to acknowledge Jewish victims. Per usual, Jews (whether Israeli or of other nationalities) are held responsible for the acts of the Israeli government -- a standard that doesn't apply to other groups. The murder of Jews - elderly, women, children, young people at a peace concert - is minimized because supposedly they brought it upon themselves. These same people would never want to be held to account for Trump's actions. Yet for Jews it's different.

I am devastated by what's happening in Israel. I, and most Jewish people I know, have a connection to Israel (whether it's having friends or family there, having Israeli expat friends here, having spent time in Israel, etc.) and some are descendants of Holocaust survivors. A few non-Jewish friends reached out to me, simply to express how terrible things are and are thinking of me, and it meant a lot to me!

On the other hand, I've seen so much antisemitism this week in comments online and some of the statements on college campuses...it's very disheartening. I have a colleague who is very nice and very progressive. We see each other about once a week and always touch on current events in our conversations. It was so obvious when she said nothing this week, which I guess was a show of restraint for her.

Some of the supportive comments here from non-Jewish people made me feel better. Thank you.

What happened in Israel is atrocious, and it's also in the face of terrible abuses against Palestinians for generations.
Add in that that many people interpret pro-Palestinian as anti-semitic (not saying that is you but it's true) and you have that people don't want to say anything because it 1) it seems like we are condemning only Palestine, and it's more complicated than that, and 2) you raise Palestinians as also being victims, and you may be labeled anti-Semitic.

Well said. Some are apparently afraid that saying anything at all, even "know that I care about you and your family," will open the door to follow-up demands that they distill a complicated issue into blanket condemnation of Palestinians and disregard for Palestinian suffering. Which could easily lead to charges of anti-semitism and ruin friendships. And if you read some of the posts on DCUM, where some (not all) of Israel's supporters openly state they don't give two sh!!ts about the Palestinians, and they label as antisemitic anybody who expresses disgust with Hamas but is also concerned about settlements or something, that fear seems justified.

So it's possible op's friends are trying to save the friendship?

I'm going to call you out on something. There are a lot of liberal Jews who want a two-state solution (most of us do) and want Palestinian self rule over their own land - but EVEN though we want that, if we do not also denounce the legitimacy of Israel, we are not welcome in the liberal conversation. We have been, over the past decade, pushed out of the activist circles because we are forced to make a choice. Exactly why do you think that is? It has become crystal clear to me that indeed, antisemitism is the common undercurrent against which I have been swimming, and blind to, until last Saturday. And if you are going to force me to choose, I'm choosing Israel.

They’re doing you a favor because those circles are atrocious to begin with. Sorry you are just now figuring it out

PP here, yes that has also become crystal clear.

Sad but true. It pains me to say this but my friends who are most "progressive" are eerily silent on this. I guess I'm supposed to be grateful that they're not telling me what they actually think.

Let me say that I love having you as a friend. I love learning about your traditions and eating your food.

I would love to call you up and express my horror and deepest sympathy over Hamas' attacks last weekend. I would love to empathize with you over what's happening to your friends and family who are in Israel now.

But if I've learned anything from DCUM over the past week, it's that many of you expect me to agree that all Gazans and Palestinians support Hamas. Many of you expect me to agree that Israel is right in absolutely whatever it does. Some of you have actually argued in the Politics forum that the IDF's human rights abuses are justified. It's there on the screen for me to see.

And I just can't agree with some of that.

So, in some of your eyes, it would be just as bad if I do reach out--but then I go silent when you say "all" Gazans support Hamas. You expect my full-throated support for everything Israel does, and I'm falling short of that.

I don't know if you're one of those posters. But I don't want to take the chance that you are. Because if you are, you'll call me an anti-semite (a term that rolls so very, very easily off so many tongues) and it will wreck our friendship.

OK, let’s try this. This is an anonymous forum, so there is no risk to your friendships. You tell us what you want to say to those Jewish friends that you think might risk them calling you an antisemite. We will tell you whether we think your statements are antisemitic.

OK. I want to express my deepest concern for my friend and her family. I want her to know that I care about her anxiety.

But my friend is passionately proud of her heritage and in the past has said something like "we stand with Israel" when the situation has been complex.

Here's where it gets hard. I'm not going to raise it, but I suspect my friend will. I suspect she will ask me directly to condemn Hamas, and that she's very likely to be one of those people who claims all Gazans are Hamas members and therefore, if Israel levels the country, then it's Hamas' fault and Israel was just defending itself. You can find this sentiment expressed a gazillion times on the Politics forum over the past week. If I disagree, like the others in the Politics forum she's going to call me an anti-semite, even though that's not what's going on. And our friendship will be over.

If you can’t condemn Hamas, then yeah, just don’t start the conversation.

Meanwhile I don’t know a single Jewish person who fits the caricature you seem intent on creating.

This is exactly it.

What makes you think that person can't condemn Hamas?

Nothing. And for this caricature, just click on over to the Politics forum and you'll see multiple examples.

What makes me think it? The fact that people aren’t actually saying it! You are apparently one of them, you’re afraid that if you say it you’ll have to have another conversation where you equate all Palestinians to Hamas. Honestly, in the words of a Guardian columnist this week:

“It isn’t that difficult. You can condemn Hamas and name its actions as evil, even as you support the Palestinians in their quest for a life free of occupation and oppression. And there should still be room in your heart for a Jewish child whose last moments were filled with unimaginable terror – the same terror his grandparents, and their grandparents, thought they had escaped for ever.”

You completely refuse to listen to what people are saying in this forum and in Politics. You apparently can't say you support the Palestinians because then you'll get accused of being pro-terrorist.

Of course you find room in your heart for the dying Jewish child. If your conversation ended there, all would be really good. But the conversation often doesn't end there, because some want to push you to go further, to make you express disgust for all (non-Hamas) Gazans and Palestinians--and if you don't, they'll say you support the terrorists. Getting pushed into this next part of the conversation is what so many of us want to avoid.

But you won't listen, so....

Ok obviously I don’t know your friend who you seem to think has very extreme views. But I don’t know anyone who would want to push the conversation further. In my case, I would have already expressed this to you anyway - that I am outraged by Hamas but sad about all loss of innocent life. So you really wouldn’t need to say or do anything else. I seriously question the alleged friendship you have with this person because either s/he is a lunatic with mad views (or you are) or you don’t know him/her very well in which case… probably don’t bother.

Yeah, I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not Jewish, and the difference to me this time is that I have seen social media posts after this attack that specifically say “your silence is noticed”.

I’m Jewish, and I think that line seems really hostile and entitled. The moral here is that Jewish people can be as obnoxious as any other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst atrocity for the Jewish worldwide community in terms of number of Jewish people killed in a single day since the Holocaust. Yes it’s happening in Israel but it’s an attack on Jewish people everywhere. That is why people are providing support. You have a right to your feelings and it’s ok if it makes you uncomfortable but can’t you just say thank you and move on with your day?

I’m Jewish. If people offered me support, I’d say thank you and move on, but I think the Jewish people guilting non-Jews with the “your silence is noticed line” are being super mean, and maybe pushing nice non-Jewish people toward being a little scared of Jewish people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst atrocity for the Jewish worldwide community in terms of number of Jewish people killed in a single day since the Holocaust. Yes it’s happening in Israel but it’s an attack on Jewish people everywhere. That is why people are providing support. You have a right to your feelings and it’s ok if it makes you uncomfortable but can’t you just say thank you and move on with your day?

I’m Jewish. If people offered me support, I’d say thank you and move on, but I think the Jewish people guilting non-Jews with the “your silence is noticed line” are being super mean, and maybe pushing nice non-Jewish people toward being a little scared of Jewish people.

I agree and wouldn’t post anything like this.. but I *have* noticed when people who are vocal about every other thing say nothing about this. It’s hard not to take note.

[Anonymous]

I think it makes sense to reach out to Jewish people who you know well, and who will likely be hurting from the incident, makes sense. I have reached out to a neighbor who I socialize with, and she seemed glad that I did. My husband said something to my teen son's friend (who we have known for years since they were in elementary), and you could tell she felt uncomfortable and would have preferred that the subject not be raised. I really think you need to judge the preexisting relationship with the person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst atrocity for the Jewish worldwide community in terms of number of Jewish people killed in a single day since the Holocaust. Yes it’s happening in Israel but it’s an attack on Jewish people everywhere. That is why people are providing support. You have a right to your feelings and it’s ok if it makes you uncomfortable but can’t you just say thank you and move on with your day?

I’m Jewish. If people offered me support, I’d say thank you and move on, but I think the Jewish people guilting non-Jews with the “your silence is noticed line” are being super mean, and maybe pushing nice non-Jewish people toward being a little scared of Jewish people.

I agree and wouldn’t post anything like this.. but I *have* noticed when people who are vocal about every other thing say nothing about this. It’s hard not to take note.

This is what I'm struggling with. It was a horrible atrocity. 100%. But, from my perspective, it is a tragedy that occurred in the Middle East, with a unique history and set of circumstances, not in the US. I have great sympathy for the people directly and indirectly affected by the violence. But it's also not something happening in my community that I have the ability to control.

I don't say much on social media these days, but I haven't said anything about this because it's outside of my world. Similar to how I've never said anything Ukraine. I fully support Jewish and Ukrainian people but don't feel like I need to post something about them.

So when people say they are taking note that people who aren't posting about it....that feels like people jumping to judgement over motivations for posting or not posting.