How do you handle...

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are 50 something with 2 teens. They both have gone through periods where they complained quite a bit about having older parents. My hubby and I take good care of ourselves and are in good shape, but there is no hiding the fact that we are older than many other parents with kids that age. The other day while shopping with my son, the check-out lady said something to him along the lines that it was nice he was helping his grandmother with her shopping! I didn't hear the comment (guess my hearing aid wasn't working , just kidding) but my son reported it to me later.
So the question is , how do you handle these types of situations and how do you explain it to your child? I fumbled around and mentioned that the checker was from a different culture where women have babies at a very young age, but I don't think that was a great response.
I always feel awkward when this comes up, and somewhat defensive and I know those are not good responses.
Please help.

[Anonymous]

We are 57 and 52 with a 12 year old. You know, I think it is always something - one of my daughter's good friends has a dad who is extremely obese. Another has a brother who has frequent severe melt downs (I think has some kind of emotional disorder). ETC. I just sort of treat being an older parent like this - something that makes you different, but it's OK - everyone has something that deviates from the Brady Bunch ideal. We are lucky to be in an environment where there are a lot of older parents, so we don't stick out so much. Actually I think my daughter is more self conscious b/c I am a stay at home mom (although she would hate it if I weren't there to pick her up right after school). I think it is important not to let it bother you and then the child will feel OK about things. It is hard though when someone calls you Grandma!!

[Anonymous]

In our circle it is actually the opposite. Younger moms (30 and younger are really odd to us) Meh, it's always something. Grass greener, etc. Don't sweat it.

[Anonymous]

Just tell the truth. You waited to have kids until your financial situation was stronger, which has given your kids a more comfortable life. Or you and your husband met when you were older, and aren't the kids lucky that you did meet. Let them see the advantages. Nothing to be ashamed of!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell the truth. You waited to have kids until your financial situation was stronger, which has given your kids a more comfortable life. Or you and your husband met when you were older, and aren't the kids lucky that you did meet. Let them see the advantages. Nothing to be ashamed of!

I agree. I always say that we weren't mature enough to be married before we were in our 30s. I've also said bluntly that a lot of their friends' parents had "starter marriages," which we avoided.

[Anonymous]

I just go along with the "she's my grandma" story. Why fight it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just go along with the "she's my grandma" story. Why fight it?

I've used it to get a senior discount. Sometimes it works if they don't ask for ID.

[Anonymous]

I'm 49 and my husband is 54 and we have teenagers. All their friends' parents are the same age as us!

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are in our 50s and have elementary-school age kids. Our oldest DC is happy that we can ride the rollercoasters together!

It's just a number.

[Anonymous]

I had my daughter when I was 34. The AA taxi driver thought I was the grandma. I was in good shape and blonde hair. I guess in some cultures one could be a grandma at 34 -- not in mine!