I feel sorry for the tweens without phones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all the no phones before high school people read the same book (the anxious generation) and think they’re in on some secret, but really it’s just a new way for UMC people to judge others. I think the apple watch has become the acceptable item if any for this set. I don’t care what people do, but I do not think there’s any inherent harm in kids talking or FaceTiming on a cell phone (or watch, whatever you want!) as that is the equivalent to our generation talking on the house phone. By 8th grade, it’s nice for kids to make their own plans and confirm them with their parents rather than it being parent-led.

You are correct that there is no harm in being able to text and FaceTime to make their own plans. It’s all the other stuff that one can do on a phone that’s harmful. If only these companies would make a device that only has texting, calling and music.

This may shock you, but you can put on parental controls so your kids cant download any apps without approval, preventing their social media use if you choose to do so. You can also put time limits on specific apps.

NP. I put time limits on my daughter’s social media apps but somehow she is able to circumvent them. They just don’t work.

Ours don't have the social media apps at all. And we have our apple account set to download to the parents phone any new app that is downloaded on another device. It's great. So any new app they download (even if they later delete it) downloads to our phone. Also, they don't know the apple ID password to download apps anyway.

Also, mine know if they try to circumvent the rules, they will lose the phone entirely and that I don't play.

Oooh, how do you do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of this is a class thing. We were at a Title 1 elementary school for a while and many of the lower income kids had phones early, while the UMC parents held off.

Now in a wealthiest school district and none of the kids have phones in elementary, and watches are the norm for middle school.

The gap between these groups is going to be massive in adulthood.

The phones are the smallest factor in this gap. It’s laughable that you think low income kids will be different becduse they had a phone. So much stuff is different!

Those kids will be spending 8 hours a day on their phone (all out of school time).

The non-phone kids will have to spend those 8 hours doing other things -- meeting up with friends in real life, reading books, exercising, playing board games. These are things my non-phone tweens do. Reading is the largest block, they both easily read for 2 hours every day. They also have lovely friends and see them in real life often. All (my kids and their friends) are A students and off the charts on standardized tests.

You are fooling yourself that phones don't make a difference.

[Anonymous]

So judgy. “Read the Anxious Generation!” My kids are so much more well adjusted than yours because they only read books and eat off of wooden spoons. Just myob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stanford did a study recently and found no connection between the age a child acquired a cell phone and their wellbeing, mental health or grades. Other large studies have found the same.

Citations?

I would like to read these. I have access to a good university library so can get almost anything in the refereed literature.

DP. Do you live under a rock?? There are studies everywhere about this.

Read “The Anxious Generation”

Wut

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a good way to keep the kids out of the "fast" crowd until at least high school.

+1 Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Clearly OP doesn’t understand that problems with giving 6/7th graders smartphones.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2025/11/17/kids-parents-tech-help/

[Anonymous]

It’s tough to watch how much screen use has changed the way kids interact. I’ve seen so many situations where, the moment adults look away, everyone’s heads go straight down into their phones. It really is sad, and the research on how excessive smartphone use affects developing brains is deeply concerning.

My child is in 8th grade and still doesn’t have a phone. He’s genuinely charming and conversational in person, which I think is partly because he’s not glued to a screen. He can text friends through an iCloud account (with permission) and make plans that way. He’s definitely frustrated at times, and I know it makes things harder socially, but for now we’re sticking with the decision. He’s a great kid with plenty of friends. They explore the neighborhood and play board games when we host.

I just wish we had a cohort of families holding off on phones as well— that part really stinks for my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough to watch how much screen use has changed the way kids interact. I’ve seen so many situations where, the moment adults look away, everyone’s heads go straight down into their phones. It really is sad, and the research on how excessive smartphone use affects developing brains is deeply concerning.

My child is in 8th grade and still doesn’t have a phone. He’s genuinely charming and conversational in person, which I think is partly because he’s not glued to a screen. He can text friends through an iCloud account (with permission) and make plans that way. He’s definitely frustrated at times, and I know it makes things harder socially, but for now we’re sticking with the decision. He’s a great kid with plenty of friends. They explore the neighborhood and play board games when we host.

I just wish we had a cohort of families holding off on phones as well— that part really stinks for my son.

My 7th grader has a phone that doesnt go on the internet. Gabb phone. She looks at it a lot when she is out because she thinks thats what teenagers should do, but she is just looking at pictures she took. So we are out here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all the no phones before high school people read the same book (the anxious generation) and think they’re in on some secret, but really it’s just a new way for UMC people to judge others. I think the apple watch has become the acceptable item if any for this set. I don’t care what people do, but I do not think there’s any inherent harm in kids talking or FaceTiming on a cell phone (or watch, whatever you want!) as that is the equivalent to our generation talking on the house phone. By 8th grade, it’s nice for kids to make their own plans and confirm them with their parents rather than it being parent-led.

You are correct that there is no harm in being able to text and FaceTime to make their own plans. It’s all the other stuff that one can do on a phone that’s harmful. If only these companies would make a device that only has texting, calling and music.

This may shock you, but you can put on parental controls so your kids cant download any apps without approval, preventing their social media use if you choose to do so. You can also put time limits on specific apps.

NP. I put time limits on my daughter’s social media apps but somehow she is able to circumvent them. They just don’t work.

Ours don't have the social media apps at all. And we have our apple account set to download to the parents phone any new app that is downloaded on another device. It's great. So any new app they download (even if they later delete it) downloads to our phone. Also, they don't know the apple ID password to download apps anyway.

Also, mine know if they try to circumvent the rules, they will lose the phone entirely and that I don't play.

Oooh, how do you do that?

NP - our DD also has no social media apps on her iPhone, nor does she have the ability to download and install apps. This page explains the different controls parents can set up: https://support.apple.com/en-us/105121

This is part of the reason we use iPhones/apple products. They make privacy and security much easier. We know if they try to circumvent the rules and they know we know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t they have just invited the girl by talking to her at school?

This. That's just a jerk move, and i'm not anti phone.

Imagine communicating with your voice instead of your thumbs.

[Anonymous]

The popular kids in middle and early high school usually peak in school and then flame out. They also tend to be the meaner girls and not great students, ime. I teach those ages, so yes, I know very well what I am talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t they have just invited the girl by talking to her at school?

This. That's just a jerk move, and i'm not anti phone.

Imagine communicating with your voice instead of your thumbs.

Imagine being capable of reading and writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a good way to keep the kids out of the "fast" crowd until at least high school.

Our DS got a phone before 6th grade, now a HS Junior, he is probably the least "fast" kid in his entire school.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a big difference between private (at least my kids’) and public school. In my DD 7th grade class maybe 10% of the kids have phones. 30-40% have Apple Watches and the rest iPads. My coworkers kids go to public school (7th grade) and tells me that ALL the kids have IPhones.

I think we are waiting until 8th or 9th for an IPhone, but we are getting an Apple Watch for her birthday next month.

[Anonymous]

Their parents will be feeling sorry for you when you’re spending your time digging you high schooler out of mental health problems

Maybe concentrate on your own stuff