My high stats kid running out of steam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Eye opening to see what “help” looks like in some families. I would say we are helping our son quite a bit. But it pales in comparison to what some are sharing on here.

We talked to him about building a college list starting junior year and took him to visit places. We signed him up for his school’s 2 day college workshop in the summer even though he didn’t want to deal with it. The workshop got him thinking about ideas for his essays and we helped with brainstorming and then reading his essay and providing feedback. Once he got started, it was fairly easy for him in the common app (which the school workshop helped him start filling out) to keep track of what needed to be done for which school. He is writing his supplemental essays in the same way as his main essay. We are going out to lunch as a family and brainstorming ideas. He is then writing the essays and then asking for us to review.

I consider that a ton of support and am happy to provide it to him. But if you are basically writing the application for your kid, do you ever worry that your kid is not ready to manage their stuff in college when you aren’t there?

My kid is also in fall sports and taking a bunch of APs. Not saying it’s great and the college app process is stressful. But he is owning the process with a lot of support where he asks for it and lots of love like making dinners he likes etc on hard days.

You are all but writing the essays for your son! That is an extraordinary level of involvement and help.

I would say you are helping more than 99% of the families and you are the one complaining about this?

Re-read. She is helping brainstorm. Which is the role admissions office suggest for parents.

She explicitly said she is not writing and even suggested parents who do that may have a child not ready for college. Perhaps that’s you & it touched a nerve!!

[Anonymous]

I am feeling so much love for UVA this year. Amazing that they got rid of the supplementals. Hired counselors and parents are writing the supplementals for 50% of the kids. What a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling so much love for UVA this year. Amazing that they got rid of the supplementals. Hired counselors and parents are writing the supplementals for 50% of the kids. What a joke.

Easier for the kids on this end, but they’ll get a lot more applicants, which will make it more competitive to get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling so much love for UVA this year. Amazing that they got rid of the supplementals. Hired counselors and parents are writing the supplementals for 50% of the kids. What a joke.

Easier for the kids on this end, but they’ll get a lot more applicants, which will make it more competitive to get in.

Will LOR count for more? Some kids are using the additional info section to write a UVA-specific essay?

UVA is looking for certain key character attributes - the question is, how will they find them now?

[Anonymous]

I keep offering to do the administrative tasks for my DD, like submitting SAT scores via College Board and stuff like that, and she doesn’t even want me to help with that. I admit, I can be bit overbearing with my constant suggestions, so it’s hard for me to sit and twiddle my thumbs while she’s so busy, but I’m proud of her for wanting to do it all herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling so much love for UVA this year. Amazing that they got rid of the supplementals. Hired counselors and parents are writing the supplementals for 50% of the kids. What a joke.

Easier for the kids on this end, but they’ll get a lot more applicants, which will make it more competitive to get in.

Will LOR count for more? Some kids are using the additional info section to write a UVA-specific essay?

UVA is looking for certain key character attributes - the question is, how will they find them now?

I don’t think that’s a great idea. I think what they want is for people to follow directions more than anything.

[Anonymous]

My kid is comparing their stats to others on Admitsee.

Does anyone else use that platform?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep offering to do the administrative tasks for my DD, like submitting SAT scores via College Board and stuff like that, and she doesn’t even want me to help with that. I admit, I can be bit overbearing with my constant suggestions, so it’s hard for me to sit and twiddle my thumbs while she’s so busy, but I’m proud of her for wanting to do it all herself.

Same here. My kid is doing everything on her own (I haven't seen a single draft of anything); however, to the other parent who posted here, my kid is staying up to 2 a.m. to do it on weeknights due to playing a varsity sport (sport had an away game last night and kid was out from 5 to 10 p.m.)

[Anonymous]

Same here and I have twins! Both have yet to decide ED choice although they have made progress on supplementals for there multiple possibilities. However, there are two weekends left - your DS can do it. I’d lay out the calendar for him and ask him to tell you what he needs help with. For mine it was adding due dates, interview (y/n), video to a spreadsheet.

Mine also have a long list of schools they want to EA to and hopefully they make the Nov deadline so they can finish those off but honestly, if they don’t make it there is still RD. Many kids do get in Reg Decision (and then can take their pick and consider merit aid).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep offering to do the administrative tasks for my DD, like submitting SAT scores via College Board and stuff like that, and she doesn’t even want me to help with that. I admit, I can be bit overbearing with my constant suggestions, so it’s hard for me to sit and twiddle my thumbs while she’s so busy, but I’m proud of her for wanting to do it all herself.

But most (all?) schools have the kids self reporting grades and test scores. They only need to send the transcript and college board reports once admitted if they choose to attend.

Instead of suggesting I’d step back and ask how you can help her. Maybe it’s just making her favorite dinner or dessert or going out to dinner and NOT talking about college. Or, maybe she does have an admission related task for you like watching a virtual webinar to show demonstrated interest or researching to find examples of specific programs classes she can refer e in her essay. You can list out some options, but I’d let her make the decision of how to deploy you to support her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling so much love for UVA this year. Amazing that they got rid of the supplementals. Hired counselors and parents are writing the supplementals for 50% of the kids. What a joke.

That’s not why they got rid of the supplemental essays - it was very likely so they wouldn’t be targeted for DEI. Or to increase the applicant pool (like Northeastern) which isn’t commendable.

[Anonymous]

Echoing PP--sometimes the best parental help is doing things like making them a snack, giving them positive encouragement, and folding their laundry. We helped DC work out a schedule for how they planned to tackle the supplemental essays and said we would review them if they wanted. Ultimately, they felt good about their essays after reviewing them in the senior seminar with the college counselors and guest admissions officers. They got into most, but not all of the schools. Would they have gotten into the schools where they were deferred if we'd been more involved in the application process? Maybe, maybe not. It definitely would have drive home the message that we think they are not capable of doing it on their own.

At a time when the stakes feel so high and there is so much going on, I think one of the best roles we can play as parents to is simple have our kids' back--and I don't mean that as a research assistant etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep offering to do the administrative tasks for my DD, like submitting SAT scores via College Board and stuff like that, and she doesn’t even want me to help with that. I admit, I can be bit overbearing with my constant suggestions, so it’s hard for me to sit and twiddle my thumbs while she’s so busy, but I’m proud of her for wanting to do it all herself.

But most (all?) schools have the kids self reporting grades and test scores. They only need to send the transcript and college board reports once admitted if they choose to attend.

Instead of suggesting I’d step back and ask how you can help her. Maybe it’s just making her favorite dinner or dessert or going out to dinner and NOT talking about college. Or, maybe she does have an admission related task for you like watching a virtual webinar to show demonstrated interest or researching to find examples of specific programs classes she can refer e in her essay. You can list out some options, but I’d let her make the decision of how to deploy you to support her.

Pitt requires office scores sent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep offering to do the administrative tasks for my DD, like submitting SAT scores via College Board and stuff like that, and she doesn’t even want me to help with that. I admit, I can be bit overbearing with my constant suggestions, so it’s hard for me to sit and twiddle my thumbs while she’s so busy, but I’m proud of her for wanting to do it all herself.

But most (all?) schools have the kids self reporting grades and test scores. They only need to send the transcript and college board reports once admitted if they choose to attend.

Instead of suggesting I’d step back and ask how you can help her. Maybe it’s just making her favorite dinner or dessert or going out to dinner and NOT talking about college. Or, maybe she does have an admission related task for you like watching a virtual webinar to show demonstrated interest or researching to find examples of specific programs classes she can refer e in her essay. You can list out some options, but I’d let her make the decision of how to deploy you to support her.

Pitt requires office scores sent.

^^ that should say official

[Anonymous]

Thanks for this thread. After reading about parents helping out during crunch time, I reached out yesterday to my DD who is holding up the world currently with classes, sports, leadership roles and bending but not breaking yet. I texted her and offered some help - told her to buy dinner between school and her away game on me rather than pack it, told her I'd take over her household chores for the next two weekends, and told her I'd help this weekend with brainstorming or research gathering if she'd like. She's usually pretty stoic, but last night came and hugged me and told me how much that meant to her. It wouldn't have occurred to me to do this if not for this thread.