Are you lucky parents blessed with great kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If so...how much is family culture, nature vs nurture, community, luck, SES?

What makes your kids great IYO?

Age, gender and birth order of your kids.

Do you mean blessed with easy kids?

I think my kids are great but raising them nearly killed me.

Prior to having children, if everyone had full disclosure on what it actually takes to rise them, many of us would have opted for child free.
/s with a squeeze of truthfulness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so...how much is family culture, nature vs nurture, community, luck, SES?

What makes your kids great IYO?

Age, gender and birth order of your kids.

Do you mean blessed with easy kids?

I think my kids are great but raising them nearly killed me.

Prior to having children, if everyone had full disclosure on what it actually takes to rise them, many of us would have opted for child free.
/s with a squeeze of truthfulness.

I agree 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Do you realize how stupid you sound

This thread literally asked about having great kids. I have 3 great kids.

I didn’t want to just say DH and I met when we were at HYP.

But you couldn’t help yourself so you came back. That you met at college isn’t relevant. It’s what happens once the children are born that matters.

Not sure what your problem is. Yes, my kids’ privilege is stacked. They have attractive smart parents. DH earns a seven figure income and he is super hands on and KIND. He is thoughtful and adores his wife and daughter. I’m sure it is better than having a jerk dad who treats the mother poorly or didn’t go to a top school and wasn’t successful.

The OP asked if parents here feel blessed with great kids. What you look like and what your salary is has nothing to do with whether you have great kids. Where you went to college or whether you went to college has nothing to do with having great kids either.

If you read any books you won’t see high income or Harvard as deciding factors in children doing well. Parents need to provide unconditional love, affection, compassion, empathy. Parents should provide support in what the child wants out of life. Provide them with the tools they need to be happy and to do well as an adult.

I hope your child is happy.

I actually wrote that my dad and husband are smart and KIND. I also wrote we have family dinner, read books together every night, no screen time, etc. also said I was lucky with my oldest and he was born with a wonderful temperament and that I think a strong older brother as a role model is a strong positive influence.

You can choose to focus on the looks, school name and money but as you are pointing out, it isn’t what is most important. I always tell my children how important it is to be kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Do you realize how stupid you sound

This thread literally asked about having great kids. I have 3 great kids.

I didn’t want to just say DH and I met when we were at HYP.

But you couldn’t help yourself so you came back. That you met at college isn’t relevant. It’s what happens once the children are born that matters.

Not sure what your problem is. Yes, my kids’ privilege is stacked. They have attractive smart parents. DH earns a seven figure income and he is super hands on and KIND. He is thoughtful and adores his wife and daughter. I’m sure it is better than having a jerk dad who treats the mother poorly or didn’t go to a top school and wasn’t successful.

The OP asked if parents here feel blessed with great kids. What you look like and what your salary is has nothing to do with whether you have great kids. Where you went to college or whether you went to college has nothing to do with having great kids either.

If you read any books you won’t see high income or Harvard as deciding factors in children doing well. Parents need to provide unconditional love, affection, compassion, empathy. Parents should provide support in what the child wants out of life. Provide them with the tools they need to be happy and to do well as an adult.

I hope your child is happy.

I actually wrote that my dad and husband are smart and KIND. I also wrote we have family dinner, read books together every night, no screen time, etc. also said I was lucky with my oldest and he was born with a wonderful temperament and that I think a strong older brother as a role model is a strong positive influence.

You can choose to focus on the looks, school name and money but as you are pointing out, it isn’t what is most important. I always tell my children how important it is to be kind.

Just shut up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Different poster and I am sorry to pile on but I agree. You didn’t sound like a nice poster in your other thread and you don’t sound like someone I would enjoy IRL here too. Are you from a different culture ? Is that why we perceive you as too blunt and materialistic ? I say that kindly, if you/ your kids give the same vibe in person, that is probably why your daughter is having trouble with her friends. You may not realize it but you are not the warm and embracing/ non judgmental type that everyone likes to be around. You come across as conceited, overly confident and focused on the wrong values (beauty, status and wealth)

I don’t talk about where we went to school or money in real life. I’m also not into material items.

I do focus on quality family time. My kids are busy but we try to have family dinner a few times a week. When kids were younger, we had dinner together every night. I was anti screen when kids were younger. Teens were the last to get phones in their friend groups and we have time limits on their phones and downtime at night. I read to my kids every night when they were little and it is habit for everyone to read before bed. We let them try anything and everything and encourage trying new things, not giving up and most importantly, not being afraid to fail. We are kind to one another. My kids don’t fight with one another. My boys were not the type of boys to hit one another. This probably has to do with the very patient and tolerant nature of my oldest child. I’m not sure you can teach empathy but all my children are very empathetic. That is what makes my kids great kids. The natural good looks, doing well in school, living in a nice house, being athletic are all secondary to my kids being good kids. I’m really proud of them.

i’m sorry but it’s super weird that you feel the need to keep mentioning your kids “good looks”. This is definitely something you clearly share with your kids (that good looks should be praised) and probably why they are perceiving other kids as mean-because they themselves are actually the mean kids. Because you sound like a mean girl yourself-and the adult mean girls are far worse than the ones that are children.

pssst. I think its an obsessed indian.

Very offensive and no hint that this is the case.

[Anonymous]

It’s a combination of everything, luck, circumstances, the people that surround them( and random bad or good things that happen. You can do a great job raising kids and then some random horrible unlucky thing can mess it all up. Or u can do a shitty job raising them and just be lucky that nothing bad happens and they turn out ok. It’s just life.

[Anonymous]

I have a great kid, who's now in high school. I don't think I was lucky. Especially when DS was young, it wasn't easy (DS is our first and only, and I had no references for some of what we found out later - ADHD, high functioning ASD). So there have been many rough patches. But my kid has grown into a kind, empathetic, nice person, who has activities he enjoys, friends, and is someone I like to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If so...how much is family culture, nature vs nurture, community, luck, SES?

What makes your kids great IYO?

Age, gender and birth order of your kids.

Whether someone thinks their kids are great has everything to do with the attitude and expectations of the parents. I know kids who are really beyond perfect (ie true prodigies) and their parents are constantly grousing. I also have relatives with kids who have serious health/developmenal issues and they celebrate every milestone like they won the Super Bowl. It’s all mindset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Different poster and I am sorry to pile on but I agree. You didn’t sound like a nice poster in your other thread and you don’t sound like someone I would enjoy IRL here too. Are you from a different culture ? Is that why we perceive you as too blunt and materialistic ? I say that kindly, if you/ your kids give the same vibe in person, that is probably why your daughter is having trouble with her friends. You may not realize it but you are not the warm and embracing/ non judgmental type that everyone likes to be around. You come across as conceited, overly confident and focused on the wrong values (beauty, status and wealth)

I don’t talk about where we went to school or money in real life. I’m also not into material items.

I do focus on quality family time. My kids are busy but we try to have family dinner a few times a week. When kids were younger, we had dinner together every night. I was anti screen when kids were younger. Teens were the last to get phones in their friend groups and we have time limits on their phones and downtime at night. I read to my kids every night when they were little and it is habit for everyone to read before bed. We let them try anything and everything and encourage trying new things, not giving up and most importantly, not being afraid to fail. We are kind to one another. My kids don’t fight with one another. My boys were not the type of boys to hit one another. This probably has to do with the very patient and tolerant nature of my oldest child. I’m not sure you can teach empathy but all my children are very empathetic. That is what makes my kids great kids. The natural good looks, doing well in school, living in a nice house, being athletic are all secondary to my kids being good kids. I’m really proud of them.

i’m sorry but it’s super weird that you feel the need to keep mentioning your kids “good looks”. This is definitely something you clearly share with your kids (that good looks should be praised) and probably why they are perceiving other kids as mean-because they themselves are actually the mean kids. Because you sound like a mean girl yourself-and the adult mean girls are far worse than the ones that are children.

Not sure why having great kids makes me the mean adult girl.

I love my kids and I do think they are beautiful. I’m not delusional. They aren’t models or anything. My sons are handsome and my daughter is super cute.

I do tell my boys how good looking they are and they say that is bc I’m their mom.

Newsflash - most parents think their children are attractive.

[Anonymous]

Unlike most people here, I think I'm lucky but not sure my kids are great.
Lucky in that they are healthy & robust, alive and managed to snag spots are pretty good schools. One kid is a real go getter, unafraid of new things and places. Loves to craft stuff by hand.
The other kid is really smart, maybe too smart because that intelligence can be used harshly. But this child can be hard on themselves.
They are good friends and I am thankful for that.