How much $$ are the Grooms parents expected to contribute to wedding costs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, parents only need to provide for college for their children. Everything else they provide is due to kindness of their heart.

And yes, parents can pay for weddings if they want, but then parents can also insist on a low cost wedding.

Well that last part doesn't make sense to me. Parents obvious can decide how much they want to contribute. You can't "insist' the couple not spend their own money beyond that.

[Anonymous]

In regards to weddings not everyone's family are cheapskates. My family and my wifes family were pretty generous and they covered around 80 percent of wedding costs from the gifts.

My Italian GF I almost married they had huge wedding. Think an engagement party in a wedding home for 200 people for "close family" and then a good 400 at actual wedding.

Her Uncles and Aunts all were giving $5,000 checks and cousins like $1,000 and this was way back in 1993. Having a $100K wedding in her family back in 1993 was cheaper than not having a wedding.

Her distant cousin was John Gotti Jr. His wedding at the Helmsley Place Hotel in Manhattan cost $350,000 in 1990. He got a little over $350,000 in cash gifts so he broke even. Was 350 guests and cost $1,000 a plate in 1990.

His nephew in 2015 had his wedding at Okeka Castle on Long Island. Even more expensive and nice. He got 2.5 million in gifts in 2015. Way way more than it cost. Might have only cost one million.

BYW I was at Nemocolin last year and asked how much weddings cost. One million is pretty common. However, they have had guest hired Lady Gaga, Lionel Richie, Michle Buble to perform at their wedding bringing costs up to several million. The rooms can run up to $1,000 a night and place holds 900 in wedding room. Some brides pay for the hotel for all guests.


That is cray cray

[Anonymous]

You do know you get what you pay for. My wifes friend who lived in a shoebox cape on top of tracks growing up with a Dad who was a retired NYC cop and a SAHM who worked at Con Ed the Electric company who actually was very beutiful married a rich bond broker from Greenwich CT when both were 27. He met her in Bikini at beach in SouthHampton and went head over heals. Dad paid for whole wedding,. I dont think his parents impressed, well two kids later they warmed up and his career got bigger and they were living in the million dollar home, had a ski house, a boat and she had a maid and drove a BMW.

Her Dad took the wedding as an investment. His 40k in bank was not going to change his daughters life or his future grandkids life. Yet the wedding for 40K gave his daughter and her kids millions and set them up for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do know you get what you pay for. My wifes friend who lived in a shoebox cape on top of tracks growing up with a Dad who was a retired NYC cop and a SAHM who worked at Con Ed the Electric company who actually was very beutiful married a rich bond broker from Greenwich CT when both were 27. He met her in Bikini at beach in SouthHampton and went head over heals. Dad paid for whole wedding,. I dont think his parents impressed, well two kids later they warmed up and his career got bigger and they were living in the million dollar home, had a ski house, a boat and she had a maid and drove a BMW.

Her Dad took the wedding as an investment. His 40k in bank was not going to change his daughters life or his future grandkids life. Yet the wedding for 40K gave his daughter and her kids millions and set them up for life.

Its a message to the groom's family. If the bride comes from money, people are generally nicer to her and she is not to be trifled with by the ILs. Also, the groom gets the backing of the bride's family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say you give what you would like to contribute. My in laws and parents gave us a set amount that worked for them and the rest was on us. The traditional you pay for this and they pay for that has been long gone.

It’s not gone for everyone. We still pay for weddings the traditional way. No one wants to break the traditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These day most couples pay for their own wedding festivities.

Not in my WASPY family. Parents are still paying for everything. It is a way to "transfer" wealth. It is like helping out with the downpayment for house.

Kids should be part of how the money is made or making their own, not just transferring wealth wasting it on a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These day most couples pay for their own wedding festivities.

Not in my WASPY family. Parents are still paying for everything. It is a way to "transfer" wealth. It is like helping out with the downpayment for house.

Kids should be part of how the money is made or making their own, not just transferring wealth wasting it on a wedding.

This is how wealth works. Our friend Tiffany T her dad Don T paid for wedding and she married a multi Billionaire which means she in turn became a billionaire and her kids will inherit multiple billions.

It is not a question of paying for wedding it is paying for the right wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These day most couples pay for their own wedding festivities.

Not in my WASPY family. Parents are still paying for everything. It is a way to "transfer" wealth. It is like helping out with the downpayment for house.

Kids should be part of how the money is made or making their own, not just transferring wealth wasting it on a wedding.

This is how wealth works. Our friend Tiffany T her dad Don T paid for wedding and she married a multi Billionaire which means she in turn became a billionaire and her kids will inherit multiple billions.

It is not a question of paying for wedding it is paying for the right wedding.

Okay? Her dad was also publicly cheating with her mother when she was conceived, cheated on her mother, and never mentions her because she's not as pretty as her sister. He paid for her wedding but doesn't seem to love her a whole lot, and none of the stepsiblings seem real close. I'd rather have a family that loves me and loves each other and a backyard wedding to a person with a regular salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These day most couples pay for their own wedding festivities.

Not in my WASPY family. Parents are still paying for everything. It is a way to "transfer" wealth. It is like helping out with the downpayment for house.

Kids should be part of how the money is made or making their own, not just transferring wealth wasting it on a wedding.

This is how wealth works. Our friend Tiffany T her dad Don T paid for wedding and she married a multi Billionaire which means she in turn became a billionaire and her kids will inherit multiple billions.

It is not a question of paying for wedding it is paying for the right wedding.

She didn’t marry a multimillionaire (or even billionaire) lots of NYTimes reporting on how the family she married into is full of sh*t when it comes to their NW. Her husband also scammed Jared with a yacht investment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These day most couples pay for their own wedding festivities.

Not in my WASPY family. Parents are still paying for everything. It is a way to "transfer" wealth. It is like helping out with the downpayment for house.

Kids should be part of how the money is made or making their own, not just transferring wealth wasting it on a wedding.

This is how wealth works. Our friend Tiffany T her dad Don T paid for wedding and she married a multi Billionaire which means she in turn became a billionaire and her kids will inherit multiple billions.

It is not a question of paying for wedding it is paying for the right wedding.

She didn’t marry a multimillionaire (or even billionaire) lots of NYTimes reporting on how the family she married into is full of sh*t when it comes to their NW. Her husband also scammed Jared with a yacht investment.

Multimillionaire should be multibillionaire above, damn autocorrect

[Anonymous]

My wife's family had not a lot of money but chipped in hours and hours of planning and did the setup/teardown of the venue. We paid the bulk with a check from my parents and aunt.

I do plan on paying for college, contributing a big check to the wedding (and in smaller portions to all my nieces and nephews) and assisting with a house down payment. This is both because we can and because it spares them the cost when they are starting out.

If we were just getting by these ambitions would be scaled back.

[Anonymous]

The people with the extravagant wedding are just vain. It isn’t so much about tradition as they’d like you to think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our son got married we payed for the rehearsal dinner and offered to help pay for the wedding. They graciously turned us down so we gave the bride and groom a very large wedding check. Every case is different based on finances. Many couple now pay for their own weddings if they are high earners.

This. There is no equivalency for the parents of boys, so why should the parents of girls be financially burdened by this? It’s nonsensical that the parents of girls need to save thousands upon thousands of dollars for weddings simply because they had girls.

Every case is different!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These day most couples pay for their own wedding festivities.

Not in my WASPY family. Parents are still paying for everything. It is a way to "transfer" wealth. It is like helping out with the downpayment for house.

Kids should be part of how the money is made or making their own, not just transferring wealth wasting it on a wedding.

This is how wealth works. Our friend Tiffany T her dad Don T paid for wedding and she married a multi Billionaire which means she in turn became a billionaire and her kids will inherit multiple billions.

It is not a question of paying for wedding it is paying for the right wedding.

She didn’t marry a multimillionaire (or even billionaire) lots of NYTimes reporting on how the family she married into is full of sh*t when it comes to their NW. Her husband also scammed Jared with a yacht investment.

+1 yes, I read that article. Grifters, ALL of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do know you get what you pay for. My wifes friend who lived in a shoebox cape on top of tracks growing up with a Dad who was a retired NYC cop and a SAHM who worked at Con Ed the Electric company who actually was very beutiful married a rich bond broker from Greenwich CT when both were 27. He met her in Bikini at beach in SouthHampton and went head over heals. Dad paid for whole wedding,. I dont think his parents impressed, well two kids later they warmed up and his career got bigger and they were living in the million dollar home, had a ski house, a boat and she had a maid and drove a BMW.

Her Dad took the wedding as an investment. His 40k in bank was not going to change his daughters life or his future grandkids life. Yet the wedding for 40K gave his daughter and her kids millions and set them up for life.

Its a message to the groom's family. If the bride comes from money, people are generally nicer to her and she is not to be trifled with by the ILs. Also, the groom gets the backing of the bride's family.

With such great values, what could possibly go wrong?