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Different School Options within Family
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Anonymous
| Anyone decided to send one child to an independent school and another to your local public school? For too many reasons to get into (which mainly come down to different kids with different needs), we're thinking of sending our older child to our MCPS and our younger child to an independent school. Is this odd? Will the independent schools that we apply to think it's odd? Of course you don't know my kids, but will the kids think it's odd or somehow unfair? |
Anonymous
| Everyone should do what is best for their kids and family. There are no right or wrong answers. |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, this goes without saying. My question was mainly to gain insights from other families who were faced with similar decisions. But thanks for your post. |
Anonymous
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Not odd. My oldest brother went to a mix of public and private (mostly private), Sib # 2 went to parochial school for a few years then public, sib #3 and myself went public all the way. Sib #1 later regretted his private high school education because of all the opportunities the rest of us had at public (more class choices, sports, music, art, etc.). I had no regrets. We're all professionals and very successful in life ... again, it's all a matter of the family what your parents demand and expect of you !
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Anonymous
| p- made a typo- family "AND" what your parents demand ... |
Anonymous
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I'm one of 6 kids. My eldest sister and I went through public school through to graduation. But my parents started pulling kids out of public school as they could afford to. My brothers moved to private school at age 11. My two other sisters transferred during high school. It probably wasn't the greatest idea to move those two sisters so late, but it's what my parents could afford and it doesn't seem to have caused any trauma.
There wasn't really any resentment between any of us about this. It was my own choice to stay behind in my public school where I had so many friends. I did get a couple of good-natured digs from two of my siblings about what I was being taught at my school. But I had the last laugh as I'm the only one of the 6 kids to attend an Ivy. |
Anonymous
| Yes, my oldest goes to public school because it is more flexible, open to different learning styles and has supports available (ot, speech). My younger child is better at sticking with the status quo and is in an independent school. |
Anonymous
| Currently for preschool we have our two children going to different schools and it may be possible that the oldest continues with Montessori for grade school and the youngest won't go to Montessori at all and start MCPS. It is tough. There are some adults that are very bitter about opportunities that the siblings received that they didn't so I worry that it could be part of sibling rivalry. I think for us though - if our oldest went to a Montessori grade school, our goal would still be for her to go to MCPS so the differences in their start may not be an issue. I think of the people that have the intense sibling rivalry - part of it is a question of choice. Did the parents offer to send the other child to private school (the same or different) and it was turned down or was it not even offered. For the child that didn't go to private school - were there other things that made them feel special - like were they very involved in gymnastics and had lessons, training, and trips that perhaps the other sibling didn't have. It's a tough decision either way - there is the part that wants to do what is best for each individual child - but that definitely creates more logistics for the parents and could lead to one child feeling the other was the "chosen one". But if you try to fit both kids into the same school to be equitable, you could be doing the other child a real disservice. |
Anonymous
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Best friend has one child in public and the other in independent. She is pregnant with a third so who knows what they will do with that one (homeschool?!). But in all seriousness, they seem happy with their decision. Their son need some extra attention, as he has some mild problems but there are resources within their public school. Their daughter on the other hand, they thought was more suited to the private school environment. They send her to a progressive school because they thought she would blossom in that type of environment as opposed to the more traditional setting. They also wanted her to get some extra attention at school (read, student:teacher ratio). They are worried that despite their best intentions to keep things equal, that maybe they were giving more attention to their son since he has special needs.
Bottom line: You have to do what's best for your family, as others have said. Good luck! |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes! This is exactly my concern given that the older child is (already) very envious of the younger sibling...really since the younger sibling's birth....and we're continually trying to deal with this one-way sibling rivalry. BTW, thanks to all of you for your perspective. Definitely food for thought as we figure this out. |
Anonymous
| We have our oldest in public school and younger in an independent school. Oldest has some special needs that are served well within the public school system. Younger is high achieving and does not have the same challenges as sibling. We wanted each to have their own school they could see success at. Already both ask why they are at different schools - so far our responses seem to work. Both love their schools and love going to their siblings school for special events, etc. The different school schedules/vacations are tough. We are happy so far with our decision. Good luck! |