Is frugality in a high-earning woman a green flag or a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

Provided she's otherwise kind and beautiful, the only thing that would bother me is the not tipping. Treating people poorly in the service world - whether restaurants or retail or whatever - is an immediate out. Don't care for such people. The entitlement, the casual cruelty, etc... no thanks. But otherwise have no problem with being cheap as long as they have joy and happiness in their lives and aren't stewing in misery and denial.

Spoiler: she’s not.

Women here are so odd/bitter.. I don’t know if it’s the ultra liberal feminist DC culture or just delusion, but some of you sound insane.
‘Yes, a frugal low maintenance girl can still be hot and beautiful. Just because you spend thousands at the hair salon and on appearances and think that’s why men choose you doesn’t mean you’re right. Beauty isn’t created at the salon, it’s natural.

Same thing with SAHMs and career women. Just because you’re smart and have a career doesn’t mean women who aren’t career oriented or super ambitious can’t land a guy.
A lot of you lie to yourselves to protect your ego and make yourselves feel better about your own choices.

Beauty nowadays is an assets that’s 99% created in salon and a gym.

Only old and ugly women would say this.

Only clueless idiot thinks that all these young beautiful actresses you see onscreen -Margot Robbie, Margaret Qualley, Sydney Sweeney - don’t have any surgery or don’t use services of expensive stylists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

Provided she's otherwise kind and beautiful, the only thing that would bother me is the not tipping. Treating people poorly in the service world - whether restaurants or retail or whatever - is an immediate out. Don't care for such people. The entitlement, the casual cruelty, etc... no thanks. But otherwise have no problem with being cheap as long as they have joy and happiness in their lives and aren't stewing in misery and denial.

Spoiler: she’s not.

Women here are so odd/bitter.. I don’t know if it’s the ultra liberal feminist DC culture or just delusion, but some of you sound insane.
‘Yes, a frugal low maintenance girl can still be hot and beautiful. Just because you spend thousands at the hair salon and on appearances and think that’s why men choose you doesn’t mean you’re right. Beauty isn’t created at the salon, it’s natural.

Same thing with SAHMs and career women. Just because you’re smart and have a career doesn’t mean women who aren’t career oriented or super ambitious can’t land a guy.
A lot of you lie to yourselves to protect your ego and make yourselves feel better about your own choices.

Beauty nowadays is an assets that’s 99% created in salon and a gym.

Only old and ugly women would say this.

Only clueless idiot thinks that all these young beautiful actresses you see onscreen -Margot Robbie, Margaret Qualley, Sydney Sweeney - don’t have any surgery or don’t use services of expensive stylists

He sounds dumber with each post. There is a disturbing trend of young people getting injectibles, for example, to delay aging:

[Anonymous]

We had to be very frugal cuz turned out ex was a liar and impaired and stopped working after I gave birth to second DC. What an utter loser.

[Anonymous]

Feels like the person is either boring, has some kind of anxiety perhaps from growing up financially unstable, or massive student debt.

Not tipping in restaurants etc is just rude. I'm not including various random places that suddenly "offer" tipping on Square.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve dated cheap and hot women. Women who don’t even know how to wear any makeup or do their hair. They usually had a really pretty face, which is rare, and something most women who get plastic surgery don’t have. They had high metabolisms, and were very sedentary. Their hair was usually in a messy bun, or ponytail, always clean with basic shampoo. They didn’t do their nails, just kept them clean. They washed their face with bar soap and sometimes forgot to use moisturizer. They were all 8-10s.

You are dating a bunch of "cheap and hot women" who are washing their face "with bar soap"? Lol. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as she is not MAGA.
And she is hot, well educated, high earner, frugal, does not suffer wasteful fools gladly and is not materialistic herself… she is prime WIFEY material.

All shades of Green Flag. She is the entire golf course. No no, she is the entire Amazon jungle!!!

These are contradictory. Being hot as a woman means investing heavily into your appearance. Gym memberships, healthy food, cosmetics, hair, clothes, etc all cost money.

Some women are naturally hot without all of this. There are many poor women very hot and beautiful.

I live in a poor area with many beautiful women. They *do* spend their money on their looks. They just may get drugstore makeup instead on at Sephora, or do their own lashes rather than get them done. But they still spend money on it, and often it’s money they don’t really have.

This reminds me of the natural makeup thing. Men say they don’t like makeup, but they do. They just want “natural”, not realizing that looking naturally beautiful is just as much effort and money as looking obviously made-up. Often even more money and effort.

When men say that want "natural," they mean they don't like an overdone makeup look. And the overdone makeup look is generally just women who are not very good at makeup but inclined to use it.

I do annual PRP on my face, light fillers, have underboobs implants, had a liposuction and wore veneers in childhood. Men always compliment my natural beauty I can go out without any makeup now haha

This.

Men have no idea what they are looking at when they find someone a "natural beauty." It is generally just the difference between a relatively short mani with OPI "Baby, Take a Vow" light pink polish, and someone with acrylics with gems and designs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Miserly. I dated a guy whose mom had a net worth of $30 million. I’m not sure why he told me this on the second or third date.

The family was extremely miserly.

Anytime you went out they complained about the price of the Coca-Cola. It was kind of miserable to be out with them in a restaurant because they were always complaining about the price of the Coca-Cola.

They also had about 12 seasonal sporting event tickets that the Dad had been buying for years. Sadly, most times the seats were empty. I thought it was very sad that they never invited any of their employees to go to the games.

Yep. My very wealthy parent who was a money hoarder would not let us get Cokes at the rare trip to Burger King when we were kids. She got a Coke for herself, and we were allowed a few sips of it and that was it (this was before self-serve fountains were a regular thing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This person sounds cheap and no fun.

This.
No tipping is horrible, all the rest is just being needlessly cheap. As for the dress being too expensive at $200, what kind of law firm employs her, the ambulance chasers? Most reputable firms want their employees to look presentable, and you can't show up at work in a dress from Walmart.

Who really cares about what you wear as long as it's clean? This isn't a fashion show. If you choose your lawyers based on the designer clothes they have on, then you're a pretty shallow person. I don't mind how people dress as long as they look clean.

Then you know nothing about the sales of high end services, such as with law firms. In most contexts, the standards for appearance are going to exceed "clean."

BS. That was in 1900

What? You think that "clean" is the only standard for appearance for people who work in law firms? That the last time anything other than "clean" was expected was 1900? Lol. Ok. Well, good thing you don't work in a white shoe law firm, then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had to be very frugal cuz turned out ex was a liar and impaired and stopped working after I gave birth to second DC. What an utter loser.

Surely there were some red flags before you had child no. 2.

Sounds like you are the loser PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

Provided she's otherwise kind and beautiful, the only thing that would bother me is the not tipping. Treating people poorly in the service world - whether restaurants or retail or whatever - is an immediate out. Don't care for such people. The entitlement, the casual cruelty, etc... no thanks. But otherwise have no problem with being cheap as long as they have joy and happiness in their lives and aren't stewing in misery and denial.

Spoiler: she’s not.

Women here are so odd/bitter.. I don’t know if it’s the ultra liberal feminist DC culture or just delusion, but some of you sound insane.
‘Yes, a frugal low maintenance girl can still be hot and beautiful. Just because you spend thousands at the hair salon and on appearances and think that’s why men choose you doesn’t mean you’re right. Beauty isn’t created at the salon, it’s natural.

Same thing with SAHMs and career women. Just because you’re smart and have a career doesn’t mean women who aren’t career oriented or super ambitious can’t land a guy.
A lot of you lie to yourselves to protect your ego and make yourselves feel better about your own choices.

Beauty nowadays is an assets that’s 99% created in salon and a gym.

Only old and ugly women would say this.

Only clueless idiot thinks that all these young beautiful actresses you see onscreen -Margot Robbie, Margaret Qualley, Sydney Sweeney - don’t have any surgery or don’t use services of expensive stylists

Sweeney needs it her face looks like someone hit it with a frying pan. JFC I get that she emphasizes her chest but that face is really unattractive if you out the focus on it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feels like the person is either boring, has some kind of anxiety perhaps from growing up financially unstable, or massive student debt.

Not tipping in restaurants etc is just rude. I'm not including various random places that suddenly "offer" tipping on Square.

I mean it's her money she doesn't have to tip. You do what you want with your money. I'm s pretty generous topper compared to when I was younger but it's my money, my choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like the person is either boring, has some kind of anxiety perhaps from growing up financially unstable, or massive student debt.

Not tipping in restaurants etc is just rude. I'm not including various random places that suddenly "offer" tipping on Square.

I mean it's her money she doesn't have to tip. You do what you want with your money. I'm s pretty generous topper compared to when I was younger but it's my money, my choice.

It's up to her if she tips and it's up to other people how they feel about that. A lot of people will judge for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like the person is either boring, has some kind of anxiety perhaps from growing up financially unstable, or massive student debt.

Not tipping in restaurants etc is just rude. I'm not including various random places that suddenly "offer" tipping on Square.

I mean it's her money she doesn't have to tip. You do what you want with your money. I'm s pretty generous topper compared to when I was younger but it's my money, my choice.

It's up to her if she tips and it's up to other people how they feel about that. A lot of people will judge for that.

.

You're missing the point. Why does OP or anyone else in this thread believe a complete stranger should care what they think about her tipping or non tipping habits? Absurd. Op didn't say if he was in a dating relationship with her or what. Maybe OP is a female who is jealous of the non tipper for some reason and looking to cut her down so that OP can feel better about herself? Wouldn't be the first time we've seen that here, right?

OP if you don't care for this woman because she doesn't til to your liking,, has smelly farts, doesn't donate enough, or any other reason, you are free to mind your own business, butt out if her business, and find something else to gossip about

[Anonymous]

Red flag. My wife is responsible with money, but doesn’t see the issue spending for fun sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Depends if she’s hot. I’ve seen some women like this and they were all unattractive. Higher maintenance and materialistic women tend to be more attractive, which kind of sucks.