Do *any* straight women apply to Wellesley or the 7 sisters any more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College is still great place to meet and date. All 3 kids dated seriously and had long term relationships in college (2 sons and 1 daughter). 3 different schools, all private and coed t10/t20. We considered Wellesley and Barnard. When we toured, it felt Heavy with activist lesbians and a mix kids from traditional/conservative international families which is a funny mix. Not the right fit for my daughter. I loved the idea, but i think women's colleges need to redefine themselves. With all the gender identity stuff, womens colleges now welcome those who 'iidentify as women'. Imo, the women's rights movement has been displaced by lgbtq+, and the mission/rationale for women's colleges is hard to understand and feels a but obsolete.

This is an interesting point about the mission of women’s colleges.

I do agree that in all female environment the gender identity message has taken over. Creates a division rather than allowing bonding over the common challenges women continue to face in society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Have women not picked up yet that post "me-too" they are now on the hook for approaching and asking men out?

I agree. I have two sons at elite schools, and they have not dated. The perception is that females are hostile to a boy’s interest or only want to date boys with a car and money and/or who are ambitious about making a lot of money and have a plan to get there. I understand that money makes the world go round, but most 18-22 year olds have no idea what they want to do with their life. Basically, most boys feel like the threshold to date nowadays is so high that they’re better off focusing on themselves and their friends and revisiting dating in their mid- to late-20s when they have a better perspective on their life and they can “measure up” to a girls expectations. Ironically, by that time many women might have adjusted their expectations too.

Sorry your sons are incels.

No need to be sorry. There are a lot of guys and girls - probably a majority of them - in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see why this matters. Education is education. That’s why people go to college. Yo study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College is still great place to meet and date. All 3 kids dated seriously and had long term relationships in college (2 sons and 1 daughter). 3 different schools, all private and coed t10/t20. We considered Wellesley and Barnard. When we toured, it felt Heavy with activist lesbians and a mix kids from traditional/conservative international families which is a funny mix. Not the right fit for my daughter. I loved the idea, but i think women's colleges need to redefine themselves. With all the gender identity stuff, womens colleges now welcome those who 'iidentify as women'. Imo, the women's rights movement has been displaced by lgbtq+, and the mission/rationale for women's colleges is hard to understand and feels a but obsolete.

This is an interesting point about the mission of women’s colleges.

I do agree that in all female environment the gender identity message has taken over. Creates a division rather than allowing bonding over the common challenges women continue to face in society.

The aggressive activist lesbian feminists are all at American. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Have women not picked up yet that post "me-too" they are now on the hook for approaching and asking men out?

I agree. I have two sons at elite schools, and they have not dated. The perception is that females are hostile to a boy’s interest or only want to date boys with a car and money and/or who are ambitious about making a lot of money and have a plan to get there. I understand that money makes the world go round, but most 18-22 year olds have no idea what they want to do with their life. Basically, most boys feel like the threshold to date nowadays is so high that they’re better off focusing on themselves and their friends and revisiting dating in their mid- to late-20s when they have a better perspective on their life and they can “measure up” to a girls expectations. Ironically, by that time many women might have adjusted their expectations too.

So do they plan to be celibate until their mid to late 20s? Curious what the thinking is.

They would prefer not to be, but they feel like (whether true or not) they are one misinterpreted step from being called a rapist and expelled from school. That feeling is pervasive, even amongst kids from liberal homes. Basically, if a girl isn’t actively asking for sex, you best not touch.

This seems like a pretty reasonable standard, TBH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College is still great place to meet and date. All 3 kids dated seriously and had long term relationships in college (2 sons and 1 daughter). 3 different schools, all private and coed t10/t20. We considered Wellesley and Barnard. When we toured, it felt Heavy with activist lesbians and a mix kids from traditional/conservative international families which is a funny mix. Not the right fit for my daughter. I loved the idea, but i think women's colleges need to redefine themselves. With all the gender identity stuff, womens colleges now welcome those who 'iidentify as women'. Imo, the women's rights movement has been displaced by lgbtq+, and the mission/rationale for women's colleges is hard to understand and feels a but obsolete.

This is an interesting point about the mission of women’s colleges.

I do agree that in all female environment the gender identity message has taken over. Creates a division rather than allowing bonding over the common challenges women continue to face in society.

what is your agreement based on? do you have actual current experience with a women's college? i have a DD there now, and she's finding it to be a very empowering supportive learning environment. she is a straight white girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Have women not picked up yet that post "me-too" they are now on the hook for approaching and asking men out?

I agree. I have two sons at elite schools, and they have not dated. The perception is that females are hostile to a boy’s interest or only want to date boys with a car and money and/or who are ambitious about making a lot of money and have a plan to get there. I understand that money makes the world go round, but most 18-22 year olds have no idea what they want to do with their life. Basically, most boys feel like the threshold to date nowadays is so high that they’re better off focusing on themselves and their friends and revisiting dating in their mid- to late-20s when they have a better perspective on their life and they can “measure up” to a girls expectations. Ironically, by that time many women might have adjusted their expectations too.

So do they plan to be celibate until their mid to late 20s? Curious what the thinking is.

They would prefer not to be, but they feel like (whether true or not) they are one misinterpreted step from being called a rapist and expelled from school. That feeling is pervasive, even amongst kids from liberal homes. Basically, if a girl isn’t actively asking for sex, you best not touch.

This seems like a pretty reasonable standard, TBH.

Yes, if any boy has a problem with this, then he has a big problem with himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Have women not picked up yet that post "me-too" they are now on the hook for approaching and asking men out?

I agree. I have two sons at elite schools, and they have not dated. The perception is that females are hostile to a boy’s interest or only want to date boys with a car and money and/or who are ambitious about making a lot of money and have a plan to get there. I understand that money makes the world go round, but most 18-22 year olds have no idea what they want to do with their life. Basically, most boys feel like the threshold to date nowadays is so high that they’re better off focusing on themselves and their friends and revisiting dating in their mid- to late-20s when they have a better perspective on their life and they can “measure up” to a girls expectations. Ironically, by that time many women might have adjusted their expectations too.

So do they plan to be celibate until their mid to late 20s? Curious what the thinking is.

They would prefer not to be, but they feel like (whether true or not) they are one misinterpreted step from being called a rapist and expelled from school. That feeling is pervasive, even amongst kids from liberal homes. Basically, if a girl isn’t actively asking for sex, you best not touch.

This seems like a pretty reasonable standard, TBH.

Fair enough, but then women need to get used to being the initiator. Overwhelmingly, they are not. Instead, they wrongly conclude that the guy isn’t interested.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s interesting that a lot of posts on here suggest that their female students are objectively beautiful and great people, yet can’t get dates. Then, when someone suggests why a guy won’t ask them out, the guy gets insulted as an incel. Ironically, both the guy AND girl are in the same situation. Both want to date, but the dating culture has become so toxic between “me too” and worldly expectations that both just postpone any serious encounter until later in life. If your girls is in this situation and really wants to date a specific guy, I’d suggest that they flat-out ask them to lunch, or whatever. The guy will probably say yes. BTW, this isn’t an “ugly loser” problem, but, perhaps, most acute among the attractive and upwardly mobile.

[Anonymous]

This is such a strange thread. There are so many ignorant uninformed views on women's colleges. DD is at a women's college now, and she is having a great experience. She is straight as are most of her friends. There are also a lot of non straight girls there too. It's fine. It's a welcoming inclusive supportive environment either way. Great academics. Great environment for women. So empowering. DD is also dating a boy at a nearby college.

[Anonymous]

Look at Scripps. Beautiful campus.

[Anonymous]

I heard a straight girl applied to Smith a couple years ago. Not kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been strongly considering Wellesley for my daughter as we have many older and impressive Wellesley alumnae in the family tree that have led interesting, productive and happy lives.

While there has always been a significant lesbian/ LGBTQ presence at Wellesley and other women’s colleges for as long as anyone can remember, in recent years it seems this element has completely taken over the campus. I saw a recent survey that suggests over 70% of Wellesley students now identify as LGBTQ, and from what I have seen recently in student articles etc., the campus culture seems to have taken an actively hostile attitude towards the perspectives of traditional, heterosexual young women who are interested in men.

Have Wellesley and other women’s colleges effectively become LGBTQ-only schools? From what I have read I have significant concerns about recommending this school to my heteronormative daughter, which seems to mean that the three generation family tradition at Wellesley has come to an end.

Are the all-women’s colleges aware of this problem and making efforts to be more welcoming to straight young women? Because no matter how large the endowments, I don’t think their business models can survive coming to be seen as LGBTQ-only institutions.

OFC they do. My DD -straight- was considering 2 of them for sports (but decided otherwise for reasons unrelated to the schools).
Also some of them are girls only in name only. Bryn Mawr, for example, has a cooperative with and students attend (and vice versa) Penn, Haverford, and Swat. Lots of boys around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a strange thread. There are so many ignorant uninformed views on women's colleges. DD is at a women's college now, and she is having a great experience. She is straight as are most of her friends. There are also a lot of non straight girls there too. It's fine. It's a welcoming inclusive supportive environment either way. Great academics. Great environment for women. So empowering. DD is also dating a boy at a nearby college.

This. The bigotry in some of these posts is staggering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a strange thread. There are so many ignorant uninformed views on women's colleges. DD is at a women's college now, and she is having a great experience. She is straight as are most of her friends. There are also a lot of non straight girls there too. It's fine. It's a welcoming inclusive supportive environment either way. Great academics. Great environment for women. So empowering. DD is also dating a boy at a nearby college.

This. The bigotry in some of these posts is staggering.

100%
Also, super tired of "my cousin's friend's neighbor's daughter" anecdotes. Ugh.