Are there really men whose dream it is to have their wife not need to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

Agree. I love staying at home and going to the gym for 2 hours in the morning. Almost ALL the working moms/women I know have really let themselves go, and most (but not all) of their husbands have gotten fat too. I make sure my husband has time in his daily schedule to get to the gym for at LEAST an hour on week days.

This is the exact routine at my house and your observations ring 100% true in my observation as well.

Christ. My gym is FILLED with WAH parents all week. They look good and they have the extra funds to keep looking good.

In fact, all the GenZs,millenials and us old GenXs are working from home. I think everyone in my close-in neighborhood works from home. We actually have the opposite: the SAHs let themselves go--the part-timers and wAH are much fitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

WTF are you smoking?

I met my husband in 1996 and we were both making around the same as you and your wife at 26 years old. We got married at 28. My Fed job allowed him the security to run wild with his career and take risks (since we had my substantial health benefits and Fed salary to fall back on). He was making $500k by 32. I never quit my job and I was always home with my flexible Fed schedule and then WAH in the early 2000s. So while my salary didn't shoot up like his, I make around $200k today and have about $2.5 million in my own TSP fed savings plan.

The man with a wife making $ at a flexible job will outearn the man with the SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids...and we now have two mortgages on homes worth $2million paid off before our first starts college next year.

DP, but yeah, if you have a government income where you "WAH" with a "flexible" schedule, sure. You're basically a SAHM with a pretend job but a real salary. Most people aren't running this racket, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

WTF are you smoking?

I met my husband in 1996 and we were both making around the same as you and your wife at 26 years old. We got married at 28. My Fed job allowed him the security to run wild with his career and take risks (since we had my substantial health benefits and Fed salary to fall back on). He was making $500k by 32. I never quit my job and I was always home with my flexible Fed schedule and then WAH in the early 2000s. So while my salary didn't shoot up like his, I make around $200k today and have about $2.5 million in my own TSP fed savings plan.

The man with a wife making $ at a flexible job will outearn the man with the SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids...and we now have two mortgages on homes worth $2million paid off before our first starts college next year.

^ same. My kids were always picked up by me or my husband, never did after care and we attended EVERY game and performance...in fact, we both took off this morning to watch our 18-year old's game.

That guy makes a lot of crazy assumptions about parents that work. It's not uncommon to see both parents at school events in our very wealthy neighborhood and school. They are all very involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

WTF are you smoking?

I met my husband in 1996 and we were both making around the same as you and your wife at 26 years old. We got married at 28. My Fed job allowed him the security to run wild with his career and take risks (since we had my substantial health benefits and Fed salary to fall back on). He was making $500k by 32. I never quit my job and I was always home with my flexible Fed schedule and then WAH in the early 2000s. So while my salary didn't shoot up like his, I make around $200k today and have about $2.5 million in my own TSP fed savings plan.

The man with a wife making $ at a flexible job will outearn the man with the SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids...and we now have two mortgages on homes worth $2million paid off before our first starts college next year.

DP, but yeah, if you have a government income where you "WAH" with a "flexible" schedule, sure. You're basically a SAHM with a pretend job but a real salary. Most people aren't running this racket, though.

It's 2024. All of my neighbors (2 million homes) WAH. It's odd for anyone to go into the office anymore. Zoom is the new office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

WTF are you smoking?

I met my husband in 1996 and we were both making around the same as you and your wife at 26 years old. We got married at 28. My Fed job allowed him the security to run wild with his career and take risks (since we had my substantial health benefits and Fed salary to fall back on). He was making $500k by 32. I never quit my job and I was always home with my flexible Fed schedule and then WAH in the early 2000s. So while my salary didn't shoot up like his, I make around $200k today and have about $2.5 million in my own TSP fed savings plan.

The man with a wife making $ at a flexible job will outearn the man with the SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids...and we now have two mortgages on homes worth $2million paid off before our first starts college next year.

DP, but yeah, if you have a government income where you "WAH" with a "flexible" schedule, sure. You're basically a SAHM with a pretend job but a real salary. Most people aren't running this racket, though.

DP. In what world is $200k a pretend salary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55, married for 30 years. My lifelong dream was to be a housewife (that’s what we called it). I dated accordingly and always conveyed and discussed my goals and values.

DH and I married with a plan: we’d live on his income and bank my (modest) salary until I quit to have a baby. I did exactly this and we have 3 DC. Resumed working almost 20 years later, part time. Just left that career perhaps forever- to handle elder care and prep for our own relocation/downsizing.

This is me - exactly - I feel Ive had the best life ever and so do our adult kids. We stayed in a smaller house and didn't have fancy cars but we had plenty and such a calm and happy family life. Would not trade it for the world - but agree as others have said the right partner is necessary to genuinely appreciate and value what you offer your family in your role as SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

Agree. I love staying at home and going to the gym for 2 hours in the morning. Almost ALL the working moms/women I know have really let themselves go, and most (but not all) of their husbands have gotten fat too. I make sure my husband has time in his daily schedule to get to the gym for at LEAST an hour on week days.

This is the exact routine at my house and your observations ring 100% true in my observation as well.

Christ. My gym is FILLED with WAH parents all week. They look good and they have the extra funds to keep looking good.

In fact, all the GenZs,millenials and us old GenXs are working from home. I think everyone in my close-in neighborhood works from home. We actually have the opposite: the SAHs let themselves go--the part-timers and wAH are much fitter.

In most urban areas--you are finding white collar WAH is the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

Agree. I love staying at home and going to the gym for 2 hours in the morning. Almost ALL the working moms/women I know have really let themselves go, and most (but not all) of their husbands have gotten fat too. I make sure my husband has time in his daily schedule to get to the gym for at LEAST an hour on week days.

This is the exact routine at my house and your observations ring 100% true in my observation as well.

Christ. My gym is FILLED with WAH parents all week. They look good and they have the extra funds to keep looking good.

In fact, all the GenZs,millenials and us old GenXs are working from home. I think everyone in my close-in neighborhood works from home. We actually have the opposite: the SAHs let themselves go--the part-timers and wAH are much fitter.

I believe you. The current WAH federal salary phenomenon is an incredible boondoggle. Nice if you can stand it. Pretend to be working but f*ck off at the gym instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married in 1998. After first kid in 2000 my wife decided she wanted to be SAHM. She actually had resentment her Mom worked and never there for her. Never a parent in stands, walking home alone no one to pick her up.

I was making 61k at time. It was crazy as she was making 68k. I let her do it.

I had rock on my back needed to earn more. By 2004 doubled my salary. By 2010 I as making 310k by 2915 making 360k.

The man with a SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids will out-earn the guy with 1-2 kids and a working wife by double! Maybe 5x.

It is selfish for women to work

WTF are you smoking?

I met my husband in 1996 and we were both making around the same as you and your wife at 26 years old. We got married at 28. My Fed job allowed him the security to run wild with his career and take risks (since we had my substantial health benefits and Fed salary to fall back on). He was making $500k by 32. I never quit my job and I was always home with my flexible Fed schedule and then WAH in the early 2000s. So while my salary didn't shoot up like his, I make around $200k today and have about $2.5 million in my own TSP fed savings plan.

The man with a wife making $ at a flexible job will outearn the man with the SAHM wife, mortgage and three kids...and we now have two mortgages on homes worth $2million paid off before our first starts college next year.

DP, but yeah, if you have a government income where you "WAH" with a "flexible" schedule, sure. You're basically a SAHM with a pretend job but a real salary. Most people aren't running this racket, though.

DP. In what world is $200k a pretend salary?

Reading fail. I said pretend job but *real* salary.

[Anonymous]

It won't be my sons' dream. Lol They see the role model of two parents doing it on the home front and the work front and they are proud of their mom's career too.

They always had a parent pick them up after school and one coaching their teams and on the sidelines. They saw a man do 'women' chores and a woman do 'man' chores (I say that facetiously)--but my husband taught them how to do their own laundry, etc.

I was raised the same way. My husband had a single mom working two jobs. We both feel strongly about breadwinning not being all on one partner's back...and the same with child care/house stuff.

But, the bonus is with increased $$ you can have a weekly housekeeper and do a lot of things so you have even more time to spend with your kids and get your workout in, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It won't be my sons' dream. Lol They see the role model of two parents doing it on the home front and the work front and they are proud of their mom's career too.

They always had a parent pick them up after school and one coaching their teams and on the sidelines. They saw a man do 'women' chores and a woman do 'man' chores (I say that facetiously)--but my husband taught them how to do their own laundry, etc.

I was raised the same way. My husband had a single mom working two jobs. We both feel strongly about breadwinning not being all on one partner's back...and the same with child care/house stuff.

But, the bonus is with increased $$ you can have a weekly housekeeper and do a lot of things so you have even more time to spend with your kids and get your workout in, etc.

People fail to discuss the stress that comes on one person earning only. They also fail to discuss the resentment a lot of the one earning all the $ has and the one at home being pissed they aren't home more. I hear far more complaining about SAHWs and husbands that aren't home to help in the 'traditional-dated' roles.

[Anonymous]

Don't most men want their wives to have options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't most men want their wives to have options?

Apparently not. The only thing gayer than sending your wife into the workforce is having sex with another dude.

Men have lost the plot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It won't be my sons' dream. Lol They see the role model of two parents doing it on the home front and the work front and they are proud of their mom's career too.

They always had a parent pick them up after school and one coaching their teams and on the sidelines. They saw a man do 'women' chores and a woman do 'man' chores (I say that facetiously)--but my husband taught them how to do their own laundry, etc.

I was raised the same way. My husband had a single mom working two jobs. We both feel strongly about breadwinning not being all on one partner's back...and the same with child care/house stuff.

But, the bonus is with increased $$ you can have a weekly housekeeper and do a lot of things so you have even more time to spend with your kids and get your workout in, etc.

It’s cute that you think 1) kids give AF about their parents’ careers and 2) that more than a select few people in the world can work full time while also always picking their kids up from school and coaching them as you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It won't be my sons' dream. Lol They see the role model of two parents doing it on the home front and the work front and they are proud of their mom's career too.

They always had a parent pick them up after school and one coaching their teams and on the sidelines. They saw a man do 'women' chores and a woman do 'man' chores (I say that facetiously)--but my husband taught them how to do their own laundry, etc.

I was raised the same way. My husband had a single mom working two jobs. We both feel strongly about breadwinning not being all on one partner's back...and the same with child care/house stuff.

But, the bonus is with increased $$ you can have a weekly housekeeper and do a lot of things so you have even more time to spend with your kids and get your workout in, etc.

People fail to discuss the stress that comes on one person earning only. They also fail to discuss the resentment a lot of the one earning all the $ has and the one at home being pissed they aren't home more. I hear far more complaining about SAHWs and husbands that aren't home to help in the 'traditional-dated' roles.

Lol
I would personally love to have the earning potential to “stress” about never having to handle any housework or emotional burden or worry about work deadlines because of kid appointments or sick days or school events. The kind of stress that comes from working is just fine when you have someone else handling all your other responsibilities. I would happily have DH SAH if I could afford to.