You walk into an OB office and sit next to a couple crying...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't expect that there were so many cold people out there, but now I know.

New to DCUM? Regularly makes me lose my faith in humanity.

[Anonymous]

I understand you’re upset, but you don’t understand what this woman has been through herself. Maybe she also had a miscarriage previously, and didn’t want to think about the possibility of having another one and yiur loss was stressing her out, so she knit to take her mind off things.

[Anonymous]

I waited for two hours in a public waiting room after the sonographer told me there was no heartbeat before my doctor could see me. My husband was forced to stay in the car because of COVID.

I'm sorry for your loss, but you are no more special than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you literally show up at the doctors office crying hysterically after you miscarried? That is crazy. 70 percent of pregnancies miscarry. Sorry it didn’t work out the first time for you. Was a bummer each time for me too. But I didn’t go around making public disturbances.

I've been miscarrying for 3 years and in no way is miscarrying in the second trimester something normal, but thanks for your assumptions. Regardless of my losses, I would treat anyone with a miscarriage with compassion, but I'm not a monster.

Then you presumably understood the risks. Why were you so unprepared?

[Anonymous]

Ditto. And after one, the OB said “oh well, better luck next time” and walked out. Granted it was 11 weeks not 16. But I have never forgotten it.

I’ve heard a lot of stories like this, and it always surprises me that an OB could be so cold. My OB was not all that personable when she treated me for my first pregnancy, but she was very empathetic when I miscarried my second. I was only at 7 weeks and I was putting on a brave face, but she still treated me with such kindness.

[Anonymous]

So should all visibly pregnant women be banned from the waiting room as well?

I’m so tired of this generation and their trigger warnings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you literally show up at the doctors office crying hysterically after you miscarried? That is crazy. 70 percent of pregnancies miscarry. Sorry it didn’t work out the first time for you. Was a bummer each time for me too. But I didn’t go around making public disturbances.

I've been miscarrying for 3 years and in no way is miscarrying in the second trimester something normal, but thanks for your assumptions. Regardless of my losses, I would treat anyone with a miscarriage with compassion, but I'm not a monster.

Then you presumably understood the risks. Why were you so unprepared?

They assured me IVF wouod solve everything. It didn't. So I was also crying about my doctor betraying me and the 30K I lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you literally show up at the doctors office crying hysterically after you miscarried? That is crazy. 70 percent of pregnancies miscarry. Sorry it didn’t work out the first time for you. Was a bummer each time for me too. But I didn’t go around making public disturbances.

I've been miscarrying for 3 years and in no way is miscarrying in the second trimester something normal, but thanks for your assumptions. Regardless of my losses, I would treat anyone with a miscarriage with compassion, but I'm not a monster.

Then you presumably understood the risks. Why were you so unprepared?

They assured me IVF wouod solve everything. It didn't. So I was also crying about my doctor betraying me and the 30K I lost.

Are you the OP?

[Anonymous]

So sorry for your loss, OP. It gets better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you literally show up at the doctors office crying hysterically after you miscarried? That is crazy. 70 percent of pregnancies miscarry. Sorry it didn’t work out the first time for you. Was a bummer each time for me too. But I didn’t go around making public disturbances.

I've been miscarrying for 3 years and in no way is miscarrying in the second trimester something normal, but thanks for your assumptions. Regardless of my losses, I would treat anyone with a miscarriage with compassion, but I'm not a monster.

Then you presumably understood the risks. Why were you so unprepared?

They assured me IVF wouod solve everything. It didn't. So I was also crying about my doctor betraying me and the 30K I lost.

Your doctor didn't betray you??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have a lot of anger at the situation and also jealousy. All of it is very understandable, but this person was not trying to hurt you and could not have known what was going on. I’m sorry for your loss.

I was DEVESTATED, my husband, a military officer was crying. We lost our baby. It was dead in my body.

I would be more angry at the OB's office for making you wait in the waiting room. When this happened to me, we were put in an office to wait. Your OB office's staff are the insensitive ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you literally show up at the doctors office crying hysterically after you miscarried? That is crazy. 70 percent of pregnancies miscarry. Sorry it didn’t work out the first time for you. Was a bummer each time for me too. But I didn’t go around making public disturbances.

I've been miscarrying for 3 years and in no way is miscarrying in the second trimester something normal, but thanks for your assumptions. Regardless of my losses, I would treat anyone with a miscarriage with compassion, but I'm not a monster.

Then you presumably understood the risks. Why were you so unprepared?

They assured me IVF wouod solve everything. It didn't. So I was also crying about my doctor betraying me and the 30K I lost.

Your doctor didn't betray you??

Life lesson: be kind and sensitive to others, particularly those going through a hard time. She's grieving. Give her some space

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you literally show up at the doctors office crying hysterically after you miscarried? That is crazy. 70 percent of pregnancies miscarry. Sorry it didn’t work out the first time for you. Was a bummer each time for me too. But I didn’t go around making public disturbances.

I've been miscarrying for 3 years and in no way is miscarrying in the second trimester something normal, but thanks for your assumptions. Regardless of my losses, I would treat anyone with a miscarriage with compassion, but I'm not a monster.

Then you presumably understood the risks. Why were you so unprepared?

They assured me IVF wouod solve everything. It didn't. So I was also crying about my doctor betraying me and the 30K I lost.

Your doctor didn't betray you??

Life lesson: be kind and sensitive to others, particularly those going through a hard time. She's grieving. Give her some space

But her doctor didn't betray her, so why make something up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not enough that they get attention by crying in the waiting room, but they need all the additional attention by posting this on DCUM.
Your public cry for attention didn't work, and now you are mad.

What happened to you sucks, but demanding all this public sympathy isn't goi f to change your situation.

I was crying for the baby I very much wanted and was dead in my belly. My husband was crying. He's not an emotional person. This isn't some kind of cry for attention, I was in actual pain.

Tempted to start a drinking game where we drink every time OP uses the words "baby" and "dead" in the same sentence. The desperate need for attention is ridiculous.

-- someone who has lost multiple pregnancies and never threw those words around for attention

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ditto. And after one, the OB said “oh well, better luck next time” and walked out. Granted it was 11 weeks not 16. But I have never forgotten it.

I’ve heard a lot of stories like this, and it always surprises me that an OB could be so cold. My OB was not all that personable when she treated me for my first pregnancy, but she was very empathetic when I miscarried my second. I was only at 7 weeks and I was putting on a brave face, but she still treated me with such kindness.

They deal with it every day. Compassion fatigue sets in.