Middle school gay/bi kids

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.

It feels like straight 13-year-old girls are culturally appropriating the LGBTQ movement. I say this as the mom of one such girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.

Clearly it's both. And while your DC's jealousy of his identity being usurped by fakers is natural, it's not right. Kids trying on a different identity for a while will not harm the acceptance of "actually" gay people. It might upset the oldsters such as posters on DCUM but kids are genuinely inclusive now.

DP here also with gay son. The PolitiFact Truth-O-Meter would rate this "mostly false." This may be true for girls who play around with different labels, which I think is fine. It's not true for gay boys. Gay boys still have a very limited sphere in which to exist and that hasn't changed very much. All this "inclusivity" is reserved for girls who are trying on different identities.

I do not believe the majority of them are simply “trying on identities,” as much as they are just seeking attention, and our local schools have gone way too far to lavish “trans kids” with an inordinate amount of attention.

Trans people are 0.06% of the population.

But “trans topics” are more than half of every discussion these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.

Clearly it's both. And while your DC's jealousy of his identity being usurped by fakers is natural, it's not right. Kids trying on a different identity for a while will not harm the acceptance of "actually" gay people. It might upset the oldsters such as posters on DCUM but kids are genuinely inclusive now.

DP here also with gay son. The PolitiFact Truth-O-Meter would rate this "mostly false." This may be true for girls who play around with different labels, which I think is fine. It's not true for gay boys. Gay boys still have a very limited sphere in which to exist and that hasn't changed very much. All this "inclusivity" is reserved for girls who are trying on different identities.

I do not believe the majority of them are simply “trying on identities,” as much as they are just seeking attention, and our local schools have gone way too far to lavish “trans kids” with an inordinate amount of attention.

Trans people are 0.06% of the population.

But “trans topics” are more than half of every discussion these days.

Very well said/written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DP here also with gay son. The PolitiFact Truth-O-Meter would rate this "mostly false." This may be true for girls who play around with different labels, which I think is fine. It's not true for gay boys. Gay boys still have a very limited sphere in which to exist and that hasn't changed very much. All this "inclusivity" is reserved for girls who are trying on different identities.

I agree. My son is struggling with bullying and several of his close male "friends" dumped him because they feel uncomfortable having a gay friend.

FWIW, he hasn't been open about his sexual orientation; he told a friend who thought she would be supporting him if she told all her friends in the LGBTQ+ school community, even when he trusted her/asked her not to say anything and she swore she wouldn't.

It is hard to see your child hurt. The teen years can be brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.

Clearly it's both. And while your DC's jealousy of his identity being usurped by fakers is natural, it's not right. Kids trying on a different identity for a while will not harm the acceptance of "actually" gay people. It might upset the oldsters such as posters on DCUM but kids are genuinely inclusive now.

DP here also with gay son. The PolitiFact Truth-O-Meter would rate this "mostly false." This may be true for girls who play around with different labels, which I think is fine. It's not true for gay boys. Gay boys still have a very limited sphere in which to exist and that hasn't changed very much. All this "inclusivity" is reserved for girls who are trying on different identities.

I do not believe the majority of them are simply “trying on identities,” as much as they are just seeking attention, and our local schools have gone way too far to lavish “trans kids” with an inordinate amount of attention.

Trans people are 0.06% of the population.

But “trans topics” are more than half of every discussion these days.

Very well said/written.

It is an anxiety response/attention getter. It's like the eating disorder of this generation.