Grandparents told DS to "just stop" regarding calls and texts to help rebook flights

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

That is exactly what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol- the only post that OP acknowledged after 9 pages was another super long, super specific one that supported her position. (Ahem, sock puppet)

Proves the rest of us were right after all.

+1

And amazing how that “dear poster” took the time to mine (and apparently found and highlighted) through to find all the “pertinent” info that OP really, really, really wanted everyone else to see.

That was so long, but good try of a response by OP! I couldn’t read all of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

That is exactly what happened.

Are you OP? Care to describe at what point yelling actually occurred?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is being adultified somehow. It's not good. Not because it's annoying to your parents, but because the atmosphere around him is such that he feels like it's reasonable and/or necessary for him to dive in and help adults. That is the single most important thing to change about this situation.

Your parents are a mess. Leave them to their own business with that. You are responsible for the kid, and he needs to BE a kid. You will not get that by ordering him to "just stop" and no one else saying it will accomplish it either.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sometimes trying to "help" is trying to "control".

OP - look in the mirror.

The kid is 8. He was trying to help. Too bad he wasted his efforts on nutty grandparents.

I was referring to OP and her DH, her whole post reeks of backhanded control. Her son is just the unfortunate mini-me that thinks he is trying to help. She thinks it’s precocious, it’s just sad.

It’s sad that the kid was trying to help but he was punished for it by his grandparents. Good life lesson there.

The lesson is it is no longer help when people have asked for it to stop.

The lesson is some people - even grandparents - are immature jerks who can’t control their emotions.

I dare say both are good lessons for an 8 year old to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Backstory: I have younger parents and my dad still works as a trial lawyer. My parents are scheduled to come to DC tomorrow to visit for the holidays for a week because my dad had a trial scheduled today (and they were upset we did not visit them in my hometown for Christmas and went on a trip with our immediate family). Due to Southwest canceling their flights and a text they sent me and my adult siblings, my DH found flights that were very affordable on a different airline to rebook and offered to use his points to give them first class flights to DC. The catch was one hour layover in a city where my brother lives. My parents suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) and they are exceptionally petty. They booked their tickets after Christmas because my DH and I booked a ski trip to Utah the first week of winter break. Then my brother's flight was canceled due to the weather and they freaked out, not responding to our texts or calls for three days. My sister called them out on it and they claimed they were "too busy" to respond (these are people who text and call us incessantly at work).

This morning, my 8 year old son sent my mom texts that said (from son's name) and were clearly written by an 8 year old. He said that my DH had found tickets for them and offered to use his status and points. He said that the ticket prices were increasing. He asked my mom (or dad) to call me and DH. He then FaceTimed my mom two hours later, as he had the flight schedule on his tablet and saw the price changes. My mom was texting us all morning in a group text and separate texts plus my dad was sending group texts from when his flights were canceled until he called me from my mom's phone (he has never done that) to ask DS, age 8, to "just stop" and that he was not going to fly to DC unless he could fly to DCA only (DH found flights to Dulles and BWI, which we offered to pickup parents), unless the flight was allowing checked bags (my parent's airline had suggested only carryon and my parents NEVER check bags), unless my husband had found direct flights from their city to DCA at the same time as the flight he had prior. My DS is devastated. I took him to the playground and we are headed to the movies. But really? My mom claims she could not make a decision without my dad. My dad claims he needed to focus on his trial and not worry about flights. My parents both claim they didn't want to book flights until my 38 year old brother's flight was resheduled. My brother lives somewhere where all the flights are canceled this week. He wants to come here to see his nephews and is booking a flight Friday. He is also totally fine staying at my parents' alone or going to my aunt's down the street.

My mom is now saying she is going to cancel the trip altoghether, due to the weather and unpredictability of the flights, which I get. But my 8 year old called her from his Ipad and my mom gave him a long lecture about how we "already went on our vacation" and how "she isn't going to be able to make any flights that your dad (my DH) made for us as they are too expensive or have layovers." DH and I were going to pay for the flights. My parents are very well off and can definitely swing the $400 total round trip tickets and would take the free tickets using points. DS is really hurt that my parents yelled at him and were "unkind".

I explained to DS that my parents should not have reacted to a child like that, but they have anxiety about traveling and are not savvy about prices going up and can't make quick decisions. They always think something better is going to come along and it prevents them from quick decision making. Now my mom is texting me and my sister pictures of her Christmas decorations, presents, sad memes, gifs, etc. And she's making us feel guilty for her flight being canceled (!). My sister and I called her and my dad out for making my 8 year old feel badly and she said "well he already got to go on a ski vacation. We paid for private school and worked really hard and never got to do that with you. Maybe you would have been better off just going to public school and having kids in HS so you would be more dependent on me." (this is something she frequently says.

My dad texted my sister, DH and I to "chill", his favorite word. He is big into mindfulness although he has the worst anger management issue ever, the mouth

that curses incessantly and is super hyper active and anxious.

Hello, op, could you please shut this down in the cliff notes version? I am curious to understand the story and then I could give some input.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Even if we agree the "just stop" is rude, I think it's one of those moments you forgive because of a stressful situation.

To another adult, sure.

To your 8yo grandson? No. Pull up your grampy underpants and say it kindly.

How do you know it was unkind? Were you there? Why is mom letting the kid text, FaceTime, and call his grandparents repeatedly over this? Grandpa was at work. Do you allow your kids to harass you at work?

OP said they yelled at him.

So you only read the title and not the novel. Here is what OP actually said: "My mom was texting us all morning in a group text and separate texts plus my dad was sending group texts from when his flights were canceled until he called me from my mom's phone (he has never done that) to ask DS, age 8, to "just stop" and that he was not going to fly to DC unless he could fly to DCA only"

Sorry you have poor reading comprehension and have been on a rampage against Grandpa for no reason.

No, that wasn’t in the title and I read the whole thing. Keep going.

“DS is really hurt that my parents yelled at him and were "unkind".”

What were you saying about reading comprehension?

All it tells me is that OP is a lying liar who lies. But keep dumping on "Grandpa" when clearly he never talked to OP according to her own words.

^ Grandpa never talked to DS. OP has been very contradictory in her sad tale of woe. She's clearly trolling and sockpuppeting. But sure, Grandpa is the bad guy.

It’s certainly not an 8yo kid who was trying to help. No one should “put him in his place”.

Why isn't his mother protecting him then? She didn't have to relay the message to "just stop", did she? It was said to her. If she agreed with you she would have kept it to herself.

Keep reading. That wasn’t the only thing that happened.

They yelled at the kid.

Read what?

This part: "But my 8 year old called her from his Ipad and my mom gave him a long lecture about how we "already went on our vacation" and how "she isn't going to be able to make any flights that your dad (my DH) made for us as they are too expensive or have layovers."

Where's the yelling? Where's Grandpa in this phone call? The child initiated the phone call after Grandpa asked me mom to put a stop to it.

Keep reading. They yelled at him when he called.

“DS is really hurt that my parents yelled at him and were "unkind".”

At no point in the post was grandpa ever on the phone with the kid. Grandpa called OP to “ask”(not demand not yell) that the 8 year old just stop. OP then allowed 8 year to call just grandma, who “lectured” him. The 8 year old apparently described being yelled at by the grandparents, but no where in OPs post is there any indication yelling actually occurred. Given the ridiculous length of the post, if the grandparents had actually yelled at the kid it would have been no doubt described in great detail. Kids sometimes say they got “yelled” at when they are corrected even when the tone of voice wasn’t yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

That is exactly what happened.

Are you OP? Care to describe at what point yelling actually occurred?

OP said they yelled at the kid. If you don’t believe her then why bother engaging on this thread?

Oh. Are you one of those insecure posters who just attacks the OP for fun? Gross.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it is really gross that you are using your 8yo child as a weapon to guilt-trip your parents. Good for them for not letting themselves be manipulated by you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

Plus, even if it did happen (and that’s a big if), grandparents sometimes yell at their grandkids. I got yelled at by my grandfather once when I was 7 for using too much toilet paper with his septic system. He had every right to yell at me. I was in the wrong. And I learned something that day. Maybe OP’s son was finally taught a lesson IF his grandmother had actually yelled at him. But she didn’t so it’s a moot point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

That is exactly what happened.

Are you OP? Care to describe at what point yelling actually occurred?

OP said they yelled at the kid. If you don’t believe her then why bother engaging on this thread?

Oh. Are you one of those insecure posters who just attacks the OP for fun? Gross.

OP did not say yelling occurred. She said her dad called HER and asked the kid to just stop. Kid called grandma and grandma “lectured “ him. OPs 8 year old described his grandparent “yelling” at him, but there is nothing in the post that demonstrates the grandparents actually yelled at the kid.

For all the DCUMers who misuse the world gaslighting, this poster is actually gaslighting. They are deliberately misrepresenting/lying about OPs post to get a reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

That is exactly what happened.

Are you OP? Care to describe at what point yelling actually occurred?

OP said they yelled at the kid. If you don’t believe her then why bother engaging on this thread?

Oh. Are you one of those insecure posters who just attacks the OP for fun? Gross.

OP did not say yelling occurred. She said her dad called HER and asked the kid to just stop. Kid called grandma and grandma “lectured “ him. OPs 8 year old described his grandparent “yelling” at him, but there is nothing in the post that demonstrates the grandparents actually yelled at the kid.

For all the DCUMers who misuse the world gaslighting, this poster is actually gaslighting. They are deliberately misrepresenting/lying about OPs post to get a reaction.

Clearly, you don’t know the definition either.

It’s not “misrepresenting” or “lying” when I actually quoted the OP.
“DS is really hurt that my parents yelled at him and were "unkind". ”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

Plus, even if it did happen (and that’s a big if), grandparents sometimes yell at their grandkids. I got yelled at by my grandfather once when I was 7 for using too much toilet paper with his septic system. He had every right to yell at me. I was in the wrong. And I learned something that day. Maybe OP’s son was finally taught a lesson IF his grandmother had actually yelled at him. But she didn’t so it’s a moot point.

But OP’s kid wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was trying to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no scenario where it was ok for the grandparents to yell at an 8yo who was trying to help.

Good thing that never happened here.

That is exactly what happened.

Are you OP? Care to describe at what point yelling actually occurred?

OP said they yelled at the kid. If you don’t believe her then why bother engaging on this thread?

Oh. Are you one of those insecure posters who just attacks the OP for fun? Gross.

OP did not say yelling occurred. She said her dad called HER and asked the kid to just stop. Kid called grandma and grandma “lectured “ him. OPs 8 year old described his grandparent “yelling” at him, but there is nothing in the post that demonstrates the grandparents actually yelled at the kid.

For all the DCUMers who misuse the world gaslighting, this poster is actually gaslighting. They are deliberately misrepresenting/lying about OPs post to get a reaction.

Clearly, you don’t know the definition either.

It’s not “misrepresenting” or “lying” when I actually quoted the OP.
“DS is really hurt that my parents yelled at him and were "unkind". ”

You are absolutely purposely misrepresenting and providing the one and only line in the whole post where the word “yelling” was used without the context. No where in the post was it said the the kid ever talked to grandpa, so how could grandpa have “yelled” at him?